23/24/25 - blueteeth - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own] (2025)

Table of Contents
Chapter 1: lullaby of the sea Chapter Text Chapter 2: on the boat, in the middle of the sea Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 3: I speak but you don't answer Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 4: you're lost in your sleep Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 5: how long do i have to dream Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 6: to tell you how much i love you Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 7: the world is so big Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 8: red sky Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 9: leeds/jones/parker Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 10: lucciola Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 11: the grave/the cliff/the sea Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 12: new stories and new starts Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 13: the talk of the (mid)town Notes: Chapter Text Chapter 14: larb Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 15: stark men Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 16: get grandslammed, man Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 17: no shoes on the ceiling Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 18: good days/bad days Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 19: stars we can't see/nighttime in new york city Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 20: december 16th Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 21: the last and first snowfall Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 22: macaroni art Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 23: маленький паук Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 24: pull the fire alarm Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 25: operation bts Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 26: revenge is a dish best served... Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 27: …with a milkshake and a side of fries Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 28: we at the hotel, motel, holiday inn Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 29: генерал Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 30: honor Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 31: burn them all Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 32: dad Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 33: mom Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 34: through the desert again Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 35: i believe you would call it hope Notes: Chapter Text Notes: Chapter 36: goodbye Notes: Chapter Text Notes:

Chapter 1: lullaby of the sea

Chapter Text

The first thing Michelle noticed as she came to was how clammy her hands were, pressed together by what felt like a zip tie. She couldn’t see- a moment of panic, before she felt the pressure of cloth brushing against her rapidly blinking eyelashes. Michelle let out a small groan, and at the signs of her stirring, her upper arm was encircled by a large gloved hand yanking her to her feet. Not for the first time, Michelle wished she was anything other than a ten year old girl, that she could tear herself out of this man’s grip and run.

“Got a new one for the Doc,” a gruff voice said. The Doc? This obviously wasn’t a hospital- wait, how had she gotten here? She didn’t know. For the first time in her life, Michelle Jones couldn’t remember something.

“Enhanced?” A female voice this time. Michelle couldn’t breathe. Was she here because of what happened with Mr. Phillips? Had they found out about her super-memory? Mama would’ve scolded her for how careless Michelle had been, if she was still here.

“Donovan thinks she might be. I dunno. But she also won’t be missed, and the Doc always needs more, so.” The man pushed her with a jerk, and Michelle stumbled as they continued forward. Won’t be missed. They were right. No one, except maybe the librarian or the church ladies on 7th, would notice she was gone. Even the people at the municipal buildings or food drives would just think she had moved on, like all the other kids that slipped through the cracks in New York City. Michelle struggled to hold in her tears and hoped that the man couldn’t feel her trembling. She tried to do what her favorite characters did when they get kidnapped- tried to count steps, note turns or means of escape, but her head was spinning and she was nine and they were all grown-up and big and it was so so much scarier than it was in books.

“Ah, Agent. What’s this?” They stopped, and Michelle repressed a shiver at the sound of the new slippery voice.

“Donovan found ‘er in Queens with the tests. She’s off the charts in mental aptitude, no family, could be enhanced.” The man holding her said the words casually, almost bored with the process.

“Very interesting.” He leaned forward, and Michelle forced herself to remain still as his breath ghosted over her face. She felt his hands on her cheeks and flinched, but the man simply continued to pull her blindfold off and stepped back with a smirk. Michelle blinked in the fluorescent light, her eyes darting all over the place as she tried to drink in her surroundings. White tiled walls, door must be behind her, the large machines looked vaguely medical. Guy holding her was muscly, wearing what she assumed was black tactical armor, and the other- slippery voice- was a tall, skinny man with thinning hair and pale, dead eyes. “Let’s do normal procedure. We’ve already got the written test results, so it’ll just be brain and energy scan, tissue samples. Something quick and easy, and we’ll hold off on the rest until I’m sure she’s worth keeping.”

Michelle didn’t make a sound as an assistant took her and strapped her to the large metal table. She got the feeling, that like with her father, it was best to be as quiet as possible with these people, and any hint of disobedience would cause them to get angry. Her practice with her father was just about the only thing that kept her from falling apart, and as she stared at the halo of metal above her, she returned to the all too familiar method of silently reciting her favorite books.

Ships at a distance have every man’s wish aboard.

Her eyes were glued to the blue light above, but she could feel the cotton pad on her arm and smell the rubbing alcohol. The machine started to whir, and there was a pressure building in her brain that threatened to leak out of her eardrums.

For some they come in with the tide.

The slippery voiced scientist said something but Michelle couldn’t hear him over the machine and the roaring of her own blood. The pain was crawling all over her skin now, her body burning despite the cold metal of the table.

For others they sail on the horizon,

The whirring stopped, but the pain was still there, and in the silence she could hear the sound her skin made as the man sliced it open. She bit her lip to keep herself from screaming, and someone laughed.

“These EEG readings are promising. Let’s call this one X-23. Hm, and put her in the main cell”

“But- it’s in there.”

never out of sight,

“Yes. I want to see how it reacts to a subject its own age.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Turn it up another level. I want to see how 23 reacts to pain.”

never landing-

The world went black.

SX-24 had been dozing in the corner of bed when the door opened and Agent entered. It immediately kneeled facing the wall, and its heart quickened anticipating the punishment the guard must be here to give it. But to its surprise, the door shut again, and Agent’s presence was gone from Cell. Still, it didn’t dare leave the position until even its hearing could not hear Agent’s footsteps in the hallway.

It turned, and against the wall was a small slumped body. Far too small to be a guard, but the long hair and delicate features made it think they were female, like the Doctor’s old assistant. It wanted to go closer, but thought that SX-24 would be scared if it woke up near someone,

The body started to move, and SX-24 kept itself perfectly still as not to scare her. She groaned as she lifted herself from the concrete floor, solidifying SX-24 suspicion that she had just come from the experiment room. Her eyes widened as she saw SX-24, and it pressed itself further back into its corner to give her more space.

“Hello?” She had a soft voice, and SX-24 found itself opening its mouth to reply, even though it never excelled in speaking. It had been a while since A-6 had taught it the little words that it knew.

“H-hello.” It managed, stuttering out the unfamiliar syllables.

“Where are we?” She said, her dark eyes darting around the small room. SX-24 paused, trying to think of how she wanted it to respond. Was it supposed to give a report on Cell? The makeup of the space- 12 feet by 12 feet, reinforced concrete that even its strength could not impact.

“Cell.” It said simply.

“No, no, like outside here.”

“Do you mean experiment room, or hallway?” It said carefully. It may not have much practice, but it listened as much as it could to pick up words.

“What? No, the rest of this place, or what state we’re in.” She was frowning now, and SX-24 was worried. Had it failed a test? It wasn’t sure what it was missing.

“SX-24 has always been here. There is only Cell, hallway, and experiment rooms.”

“What’s SX-24?” It pointed to itself and she frowned further. “What, that’s a number. What’s your name?”

“SX-24 is an experiment. Don’t you have a designation?”

“No, my name is Michelle.” She said sharply. It ignored her tone and curled his lips around the syllables of her name. Michelle. “You have to have a name. What did your family call you before you were in here?”

“SX-24 is an experiment. Don’t have a family or a name. Mitch-yelle.”

“It’s Michelle.”

“My celle?”

“Michelle.”

“Me-chelle.” It said slowly.

“Close enough. Fine, but at some point I’m gonna give you a name. I’m not gonna just call you SX-whatever.” Michelle scooted forward. “So you don’t know where we are. What kind of experiments do they do here? Are there others… like us?”

“SX-24 is the only one besides Mechelle now. The others failed. And the experiments change. Sometimes Doctor injects things. Sometimes he takes things from SX-24’s body or gives it tests.”

“That’s-“ Michelle had an expression it couldn’t place. She breathed deeply, staring at the floor and trying to calm herself down. “What do you mean failed?”

“They died during an experiment or were terminated for other reasons.”

“Oh.” Michelle looked paler, and she curled into a ball. SX-24 had seen this before, on itself and on other subjects. It remained silent as she sobbed, unsure of how to help her. It quietly made its way to bed, finding what it wanted under a blanket.

“Michelle?” The girl gave no answer. “Do you want to see my most important thing?”

Her head shot up at its use of the first person- clearly as thrown by it as SX-24 was. It shyly brought a small, threadbare rabbit from behind its back.

“This is Pep. SX-2- I hold it when really sad.” It gently placed Pep in her tearstained arms and nervously shuffled its feet.

Michelle looked at this boy, who had been through god-knows-what, but let a stranger hold his only possession because she was crying, and decided that she was going to protect him.

“Thanks.” She offered a wobbly smile, and the boy tried to give one back. “Um, when I’m sad, I read my favorite books in my head. I’ve got this thing- my mom used to call it my ‘super memory’ but I think that name is kinda dumb. Point is, I can remember with perfect detail anything I’ve seen or heard.”

The boy was watching her with wide eyes, drinking in her words with an attention she had never seen before. She couldn’t remember the last time someone actually listened to her, actually let her speak, actually gave a crap about Michelle Jones, half-orphan who was too smart for her own age. She took a deep breath, suddenly self-conscious.

“I - I think super memory is… not dumb. Better than SX-24’s enhancements. Those were from experiments.” The boy said, faltering at points, but in his strange accent, everything seemed so sincere.

“You have powers? Can I see?”

He rose to his feet, and began to climb onto the ceiling. Michelle gasped as he executed a perfect flip and landed in a crouch below.

“Okay, I’m going to get the story behind that later, but I can’t handle more new information right now.” She managed.

“Um, Michelle? SX-24 has only ever read science papers, and it enjoys those, but its never had a book.”

Michelle feels a boiling anger as she hears him revert to third person, and not for the first time, wishes that she could punch Agent in the stomach. But she schooled her expression into a more gentle one, and mentally went through her catalogue, eventually settling on a few children’s books.

“Sure, I guess you showed me yours, so I gotta share mine. Um, we could do Harry Potter, A Wrinkle in Time, Peter Pan…”

She trailed off as she saw an expression she had never seen before on his face- recognition.

“Yes- P-peter.” He stuttered.

“Peter Pan it is. Hey, let’s have that be your name. Peter.” He nodded vigorously, and Michelle felt a tiny flicker of pride at being able to make him so excited. She shut her eyes, calling up her memory of the crisp pages beneath the reading lamp in her childhood bedroom, her mom making cornbread downstairs.

“All children, except one, grow up.” She began. “They soon knew that they will grow up, and the way that Wendy knew was this.”

After she had finished the first chapter for an eager Peter, something slid over the skylight and the room was swallowed in darkness. Michelle was pleased their progress though- he interrupted her throughout to ask questions, and already his speech was getting better, with only one chapter. She got the sense that Peter was smart like her, and if he had had any sort of conversation his speech would be accelerated for his age, not atrophied. They went to bed, both curled up on the mattress. But Michelle couldn’t sleep. It was so dark, and cold, and she was scared about what the Doctor might do to her and knew no-one was looking for her or Peter. She waited until Peter went to sleep, and then began to let the tears slip down her face. Another lesson from her father- don’t let anyone see you cry. The first time with Peter was a mistake she was determined not to make again, especially as she felt a sort of responsibility for him now.

Peter stirred, and she could feel the weight of his eyes on her, even in the dark. She steeled herself, waiting for him to tell her to be quiet, or ignore it and go back to sleep. But he didn’t.

Ninna nanna marinare,” Peter sang softly. She blinked- the words were quiet, hesitant and slurred, but she could tell they weren’t in English."'Ngopp a varca, miezo o mare." He kept singing, and she felt her sobs begin to die down.

“That was beautiful.” She said hoarsely when he had finished. “When’d you learn it?”

“Not sure. Sometimes I remember it when it’s dark, but its never sang around someone else.” He said, his voice so, so small and fragile. “Wanted to help, Michelle.”

“MJ” She blurted suddenly, after a moment of silence. “My friends call me MJ.”

“ I think you’re my first friend, MJ”

Michelle thought of her days after she left her father, after her mom was gone, the days of sitting in New York City public libraries and scanning every book she could get her hands on. She thought of a school where people called her a witch, or weird, where no one talked to her.

“I think you’re mine too.“ she whispered into the dark.

Chapter 2: on the boat, in the middle of the sea

Notes:

This one is pretty short, but I have most of the next chapter written so that will be out soon.

CW are in the end notes.

psppsps leave a comment if you feel so inclined ;)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Michelle woke the next morning to the sound of the skylight scraping open, the sudden blue blinding in the previously pitch black cell. Peter was already awake, sitting eerily still, staring at the door.

“‘Morning,” Michelle croaked, wincing at how sore her throat was. First step- getting some water from the sink to soothe her dry mouth.

Peter didn’t respond at first, merely tilting his head at her in his typical fashion.

“Drinking is good.” He finally said. “If they bring us our meal soon, save it until later. You will probably be taken to the white room, for the barcode, and throwing up would be a waste.”

“Jeez- what do you mean, barcode?” Michelle splashed the metallic water over her face in an attempt to clarify her groggy mind; she would need her wits about her for today. She turned around to see Peter exposing the inside of his wrists to her. On each forearm, just above two strange veins that seemed to extrude from his skin, were brands- they were heavily scarred, but she could make out letters- SX-23, and then a barcode. “W-what?”

“They had to do two because my healing kept messing up the letters. After they figured out-“ He bit his lip, looking as small as she had ever seen him. “A trick, they just decided to do it on both arms.”

“That’s barbaric.”

He didn’t get a chance to reply, as the guards arrived to take her to the white room, just as Peter said they would.

***

Being branded was an experience that Michelle couldn’t even categorize. She felt torn apart, like her nerves and synapses had been shredded in that room by those men. She remembered three things

1. The leather gloved hands of the assistant on the rod, the smell of the metal sizzling and a few wayward strands of her hair burning acrid.

2. The tile spinning and doubling in her vision like a kaleidoscope as she fell forward like a ragdoll, bile dripping onto her chest

3. It hurt. It hurt it hurt it hurt it hurts it hurt it hurts

***

When Michelle staggered back into the cell, Peter was there waiting for her. She couldn’t bring herself to speak, plopping down on the mattress and staring into nothing. She cradled her injured arm close to her chest, like a wounded animal, and it took several minutes of coaxing, of Peter murmuring words that swam in and out, unintelligible to Michelle’s scattered mind, to finally relax enough to let it drop into Peter’s lap.

“Can I do something that helped me in the past?” He said, his big brown eyes looking into hers, waiting for her consent. She gave a listless nod, and Peter hummed in approval as he adjusted the blankets around her shoulders. He brought his middle fingers to his palm and shut his eyes tightly, his face grimacing and his fingertips white with strain. If Michelle wasn’t dazed with pain, she probably would have given him a hell of an eyebrow raise. Within a few moments, gauzy silvery material poured out of the little veins in his forearm, and Peter gathered the strands with careful fingers, then transferring them to Michelle’s wound.

“It’s my webbing.” He could see the formation of a speculative eyebrow on her face. “It has minor soothing properties. I would use it more often, but my spinnerets got… hurt a while ago and now I can’t really make webs anymore.”

Peter looked down at his wrists and looked mournful. Hydra could give powers, but they could take them away too, and Michelle recalled the many different times she had seen Peter rubbing his wrists in gentle circles- maybe that helped, like his rocking back and forth seemed to. She felt another flare of anger, looking at Peter’s reddened wrists and her own burning one.

“Do the experiments hurt you often?”

“Yes.” He looked at her, his eyes glassy and unreadable. “They always hurt.”

“Oh.” Michelle didn’t know what to say. She took the blanket Peter had swaddled him in, and wrapped it around his shoulders too. They sat in silence, for a long time.

***

Michelle spent the next few days adapting to life in the cell. She and Peter would wake, she would read him the next chapter of Peter Pan, He would tell her about the science magazines he had read, and they would make lists of all the things they would do and see if they got out. Peter had never seen stars before, and the passages about them in the book fascinated him. Michelle found she wanted nothing more than to see the stars reflected in his big brown eyes. Later, a guard would take him or Michelle to the white room. The Doctor would give her tasks to complete, attach wires to her brain, or ask her to recite back complicated strings of numbers. It was certainly unpleasant- the men’s scientific gazes made her feel like a butterfly trapped under glass, the fluorescents were nauseating, and the tests gave her tension headaches. She didn’t know what happened to Peter in there. He wouldn’t talk about it, and Michelle had spent enough time cleaning up his various visible wounds in the dark of their cell with their one towel and some lukewarm water from the sink each night to know not to ask. After, they were thrown back into the cell, usually given some tasteless extremely hard bar or extremely mushy gruel, and left alone. If Michelle’s headache wasn’t too bad, and Peter wasn’t in one of his sensory-meltdowns, she would read some more to him until they both passed out.

She had just barely gotten a sense of her new life when the rock started to crumble under her feet again. About a week and a half after her arrival (Michelle tracked the date as best she could, but could never be quite sure), two things happened. After another test that left the Doctor unpleased with her performance, he pulled aside his assistant to speak softly to him.

“Zed, I just don’t think we’re going to get more data out of this one. The Admiral needs soldiers, and I can’t find a way to weaponize X-23. The cognitive enhancement is just not enough to bother with raising until its brain is rigid enough to begin the programming necessary.”

“Mmn. 23 is producing interesting results in SX-24, however. It fights far less when we offer to do procedures on 23 instead.” The assistant offered, and Michelle could feel her heart shoot up into her throat.

“We’ll see. The only data I need left would be obtained from dissection, and there are other ways to ensure SX-24’s compliance. A few more days, and then I shall proceed with the operation. Assets, Zed. We need tools of Hydra.”

“Of course, Doctor.”

Michelle barely kept the look of terror off of her face as she slid into the empty cell- her brain dimly registering that they must have taken Peter while she was gone. Good, she supposed, now she can have a full freakout without him seeing.

She was mid sob as the door opened and what she assumed was Peter was thrown in. He looked awful- covered in blood and barely responsive to her words. She dragged his too-light body to the bathroom, and began to clean the wounds on his scalp. They were already beginning to knit themselves together, but she couldn’t help but look at his still damaged spinnerets. They were going to go too far, and one day she wouldn’t be able to get him to wake up again. He was a little boy, and this wasn’t sustainable, superpowers or not.

Michelle read the next chapter of Peter Pan to the boy in her lap with a shaking voice, and pulled metal scraps out of his wounds with shaking hands. She could see him slowly come out of whatever nightmare headspace he was in with each sentence about the mermaids, swordfights, and flight of Neverland, but Michelle was scared. Peter looked dead. Peter could die.

“Peter, come back to me. Promised you we’d see the stars together, right? You gotta come back because if you don’t we won’t ever get outta here.” Michelle was begging now, but unable to reach her persuasive power through the sobs that wracked her thin frame. “I’m here, and Pep’s here, and you’re going to be okay but I need you to say something.”

She waited, as the skylight closed and the silent darkness was only broken by her sniffles and hiccups. She waited and waited, her legs and head numb.

“M’ okay, MJ.” Peter finally said. “Just need to rest.”

She let out an exhausted, slightly hysterical laugh, and pulled them both to the mattress, relieved to hear the slight puffs of Peter’s gentle snores as he fell asleep. Michelle couldn’t sleep though, paralyzed with fear- the fear of Peter dying and leaving her alone, or being killed and leaving Peter alone. She didn’t have tears or energy left to cry, so she did the only other thing she could do. She made a plan. She was Michelle Jones, and she was going to get herself and Peter through at least the next few weeks.

Notes:

cw: continued abuse of children by hydra, aftermath (but not depiction of) a branding, discussion of killing a child,

Please please tell me what you think! comments are my lifeblood! :) have a great day.

Chapter 3: I speak but you don't answer

Notes:

short update today- have a bigger one coming soon.
this one was a bit meh to be honest, just sort of setting up what's going on. we're getting more exciting stuff, and perhaps even Ned very soon!

Chapter Text

Michelle struck at the experimentation session the very next day.

“Doctor,” She began, putting a little of her power into it. She couldn’t get someone to do anything they would never do, but if she dressed it up right, played to their sensibilities, her words were like honey, sweet and divinely persuasive. With her gift, Michelle had gotten her father to let her leave, social workers off her back, a few 20s from Mr. Phillips. She did not like doing it, didn’t like forcing someone to do something without their consent or the headaches she got with using it, but she was practical. She would do what she had to to survive. “You need assets. Me and P- SX-24 would be good assets, with training. He is brilliant, especially in mathematics, and quite strong, but he has a stunted language ability. I’m smart, enhanced, but I don’t have the same skills your other operatives have. We need training if we are to succeed as weapons for HYDRA. Teach us other languages, combat skills, tactics, science-“

“Well, 23, it’s certainly an interesting idea.” The doctor had an interested glint in his eye, and she catalogued the shift in his body language- leaning forward, in to her. Emboldened, she continued on.

“You’re wasting potential. You- you could study our growth and retention rate.” She sped up, her words faltering occasionally under the doctor’s pale eyes.

“Hmm.” He turned away, and for one dreadful moment, Michelle thought she had failed, that she and Peter would be killed and buried in the Cell, under a concrete roof with no stars and no one would ever remember her name- but he simply called the assistant over. “Zed, I changed my mind. Add SX-24 and X-23 to the asset program.”

“Yes, sir.” If the assistant was surprised, he didn’t show it, merely noting the Doctor’s words on a clipboard. “Any specifics?”

“Handler for the girl, Operative for SX-24” The Doctor said carelessly, already walking to his next project. “No combat training for 24 yet- that’ll come after they’re old enough for successful reprogramming.”

As she was led back down the hallway, Michelle felt her lips twist into the first smirk that she had worn since arriving at this hellhole. She had done it- she had bought them both a little time and ensured they would be getting stronger along the way.

***

Michelle and Peter excel in their training. The very next morning they begin- tutored classes, most of them with each other, in everything from espionage to mathematics. Within a few weeks, they now both know how to disassemble and reassemble most handguns in under a minute, and an impressive amount of Russian and German. Peter was finally in some sort of history class, although Michelle could tell it was done through a HYDRA-tinted lens, and there were some things that weren’t even public knowledge (the truth behind JFK actually made her break her stoic mask to raise an eyebrow). Looking at how much Peter has been able to pick up in such a short time made Michelle add another factor to the ‘HYDRA is incompetent’ list- figures that people who willingly follow Nazis are too stupid to even use their resources properly. But she was glad they were incompetent- she and Peter were safer that way.

The cell almost became a respite from everything, in an odd way. They would go in their little box after the classes and experiments and play- they were only children when they were alone. Michelle would read from the new books they had graduated to after finishing Peter Pan. Peter would fashion a fake gown out of one of their blankets, Michelle would use a towel as a cape, and they would play pretend- galloping around the cell as cowboys, or knights, or just normal kids getting on the school bus. They would make lists of all the things they would do or see if they got out. (Michelle mentioned escape plans once- Peter stiffened, shuddered, and wouldn’t talk for the rest of the night. She didn’t bring it up again.) There were moments where Michelle was almost happy.

Which made the bad days worse. Peter was still taken for experiments, still came back bloody. Sometimes he’d get taken and come back without a mark on him, but he would sit in the corner and not let Michelle touch him for the rest of the night. On days when Peter was gone, Michelle raged, screamed at the concrete walls and pounded them until her knuckles bled, only quieting when her voice went raw (she couldn’t afford to lose her voice here- often it was the only thing keeping the guards off her) or when Peter shuffled in, gently wrapped her hands in his silk, and held her until she fell asleep.

Michelle told Peter about New York, about her life in Queens, and how she did miss parts of it. Peter told her about science projects and the biggest numbers he could think of and his dreams, but he wouldn’t talk about his life before her, or why he cried in his sleep sometimes, or why he froze up when he saw certain guards. Michelle decided not to ask.

One of their worst days happened at the month mark of their new roles. Michelle had looked down at her hands, palms still stinking of gun oil, and hated herself, just a little, for what she had become. She might have been a ludicrously advanced child, but she still could have temper tantrums. It was the first time she had let Peter see one of her full meltdowns, and the anguish and helplessness in his eyes made her sob harder. She screamed about her art supplies and Central Park and how she just wanted to draw, all while Peter cowered in the corner. Just as the tears subsided to occasional hiccups and she was about to apologize to Peter, a guard pulled him out- odd for how late it was. Just before he left, she saw a terror in his eyes that made her stomach lurch. Normally he just looked… defeated- why did he look so scared?

He came back a while later, and while Michelle frantically scanned him for injuries, he didn’t look at her once. He pushed a small bag into her lap, and went into the corner of the room. Michelle opened the bag, gasping when she saw a huge pack brand-new crayons and a leaf of computer paper.

“Peter?” She tried. “Where did you get this?”

He didn’t respond, continuing to stare with unseeing eyes at the wall. So it was one of those nights. She sighed, pushing the blankets over to him and placing Pep in his arms, before backing up carefully. She would try again in the morning. It was always better in the morning.

Chapter 4: you're lost in your sleep

Notes:

that's right, back within less than a day! and guess what, we finally have Ned here with us! Things are really heating up.

I liked this chapter much more than the last one. Let me know what you think!

CWs and some translation stuff are in the end notes, if I manage to do it right

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

105 showers had passed since Michelle was first thrown into the cell. She had celebrated two birthdays with Peter- both of them deciding that Peter, as he didn’t know his exact age, would have the same birthday as her. They had both grown stronger, taller, and more skilled. Michelle excelled so throughly in her tactics classes that the HYDRA agents started calling her “The Little General” (She didn’t let them see how much she liked the name), and Peter, while still underfed and experimented on, glowed with a new vibrancy coaxed out of him by Michelle’s gentle company. He built strange gadgets, practiced French after finishing German with Michelle, and they hadn’t get gotten through half of Michelle’s mental library. The cell hadn’t changed much, but they had earned new blankets, and they had covered the walls in illustrations with the prized crayons. Peter used his stickiness to draw stars and birds and sky on the ceiling, and Michelle drew replicas of the skyscrapers she grew up under, albeit with a few more dragons circling them.

But, a week into being twelve, they were woken even before the skylight creaked open by a boy being thrown into the cell. Michelle quickly surveyed him, using her training to analyze possible threats. He had the pudgy baby fat of a normal kid, and the dazed look she associated with HYDRA’s powerful sedatives. Rather than scanning the room for information, he was staring at the floor, hiccuping quietly. Not a threat, no training, probably somewhere between ten and twelve, likely another experiment candidate like herself or Peter.

“Hi,” As usual, Peter was the first to reach out, crouching down softly a non-threatening distance away from the boy. “What’s your name? I’m Peter.”

“N-Ned.” He choked out. “Wha- where-“

“You’re in a HYDRA research facility. Y’know, like the World War Two guys? Think spies, mad scientists, etcetera. If you’re here, you likely have something they want. You enhanced?” Michelle said bluntly, giving Ned the information she would have liked when she first got here.

“Enhanced? I don’t know what-“

“Beyond normal. I have cognitive enhancements, Peter’s got spider stuff. We’re both geniuses.”

“Um, I’m really good at like. Computers and stuff. And-“ Ned’s eyes suddenly went wide, before breaking down in tears again. Michelle waited for him to calm, as Peter scooted just a bit closer to the boy.

“I think they killed my family.” Ned said, softly. “I- I can’t-“

“Let me guess, your family recently moved to a new state or country in which they know no one, you took a standardized test in school, and when you got home there were three to four men in combat armor who separated you from your parents before they killed them and knocked you out?” As she finished, Ned started to sob harder, confirming her suspicions.

“MJ!” Peter scolded, “Be gentle.”

“What? That’s basic procedure, and it makes no sense to make him repeat it needlessly. HYDRA prioritizes targets that can be taken quietly, with little attention. They’ll probably torch the house, call it a gas main leak, and remove the details of Ned ever existing from any sort of database. No one's gonna notice in the community because no one knew them yet. Exceedingly easy.” She studied her fingernails. Michelle found it easier if she pushed her emotions deep down, viewed the world through the lens of threats and non-threats, judged actions not on morality but on effectiveness. Goodness and ethics did not exist here, in a HYDRA prison cell, and virtue wouldn’t keep her or Peter (and perhaps this new boy) alive. Peter shot Michelle a dirty look as he placed an arm around Ned’s shaking shoulder. She took a deep breath and reminded herself of the fear she had in Ned’s position, of how it felt after her mother died, and thought with a small pang of regret that her pragmatism may not be the most helpful here.

“Sorry, Ned.” She said after a while, quieter and less sure now. “It’s um, pretty rough here and I was worried about you not getting all the information you need before tomorrow. I wanted you to be- prepared, and I messed it up a bit, I guess. Uh, I’m not too good at this, Peter’s better at the feelings stuff. I’m Michelle, but you can call me MJ.”

She felt a little better after her awkward speech when Peter positively beamed out at her, his face radiating pride at her attempt to reach out, and joy at her letting the new boy call her MJ.

“She only lets her friends call her MJ! That was just me, but I guess that means you’re our friend now too!” Peter bubbled happily, squeezing Ned to punctuate his enthusiasm. “You can take however long you need to talk by the way, we both have bad days. Sometimes I can’t talk, sometimes I can only use sign. Oh, we’ll have to teach you sign too- and we’ve got another person to play games with!”

Peter babbled on, Ned slowly relaxing as the minutes wore on. Michelle could analyse a battlefield, speak more languages than even Peter, but she didn’t have his ability to worm his way into any sane person’s heart (HYDRA didn’t count).

“Um, We used to live in Hawaii.” Ned’s horse voice finally began, quieting Peter almost immediately. “We’re from the Philippines originally, but we moved to Hawaii when I was like one. I really, really liked it there, but my grandma died and it got too expensive so we moved to North Dakota. I- I hated it. I complained so much. Yesterday morning, they had me come into school early to take like a placement test, and after I went to the park with my little brother.”

Ned let out a sudden gasp, and only began again when Michelle carefully crawled over to him.

“It was weird, it was super empty, but it felt like there was something in the corner of my eye, like we were being watched, but Sam wanted to play Jedi, so I ignored it.”

“It’s impressive that you were able to notice anything off.” Michelle offered in the silence, trying to comfort in the only way she knew how. “They’re highly trained- you had no chance from the moment you took that test, but you being able to notice a tail as an untrained preteen is remarkable. You, um, you should be proud of yourself. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yeah, um.” He met her gaze, a silent thank you in his eyes. “We were playing Jedis, and I was waving my arms around, and all I remember was a flash of orange light and suddenly there was something in front of me, like, like a portal, and I just stared at it for a minute. My brother was freaking out, talking about how this must mean Lola was right with her tales of how our family had magic, and- god, I was so excited. We ran home, and- they were there waiting for us.”

Impulsively, Michelle gave him her hand to hold, Peter already grasping the other one. He took a few steading breaths.

“It was like you said, there were four of them, standing by the boxes we hadn’t even unpacked yet, all of them had guns. Sam wasn’t scared, he was too young to understand what was going on, just thought they looked like GI Joe men. The men were speaking some other language, Russian I think, and they grabbed me and put my hands into hand cuffs. My mom was screaming, trying to get to me, so were my dad and my brother, I just wanted them to stop screaming and be okay, but the men pulled them into the other room. Our dog, Bayani, tried to bite one of the guys holding me but they, they shot him and he didn’t get up again. They injected me with something, and as I went under I could hear them screaming, and then, and then, there were three gunshots, and then they weren’t screaming anymore.”

His last words came out in a whisper, his entire frame shuddering. Michelle thought the only thing keeping Ned upright might be her and Peter’s arms around him. With surprise, she noticed her cheeks were wet. She didn’t usually let herself cry in front of others. Peter, on the other hand, looked angrier than she had ever seen him. He left Ned with her for a minute and walked under the window, his fists clenched at his sides, his back rigid with fury. With his hair silhouetted by the light, he looked like an avenging angel.

“I’m sorry, Ned.” He finally said, his voice cracking. “I didn’t have a family until Michelle, but I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose them.”

Michelle merely pulled Ned closer, her words failing her, for once. “We can add their names to the wall if you want.”

“The wall?” Ned asked, voice muffled under her canopy of hair.

“Yeah, we put the names of people we’ve lost over there.” She pointed to a corner, under her illustration of a branching tree. Her mom’s name was there, and Peter had shyly asked her to write ‘Ben Parker’ there as well- he wouldn’t tell her any more, but she found it hard to talk about her mom, so she understood. “To remember them, and stuff. So that their names keep being used, even when they’re gone. This place tries to take your name away from you- but we won’t let it happen. No matter what number they give you, you’ll always be Ned to us.”

“Thanks.” He offered her a faint smile, and Michelle decided that she liked Ned too, and silently began adding him to her various protection schemes. “I’d like that very much.”

They added the names- Ned’s father, mother, his Lola, Sam, and Bayani. Michelle had him describe what Bayani looked like, and she and Peter drew him into a grassy field they had drawn by the door. Ned began to calm down, and they started to quiz him on his life outside, coaxing Ned more and more out of his shell. Peter was especially enraptured by Ned’s description of the Star Wars movies and legos. Halfway through Ned’s inspired retelling of the beginning of a New Hope, complete with sound effects and invisible lightsabers, a guard came for Peter. The mood soured considerably when the door shut after him.

“What just happened? Where did they take him? Is he going to be okay?” Ned blurted, already worried for Peter. Michelle tiredly smiled at his concern, and guessed that this, while Peter was gone, was as good a time as ever to let Ned know how things worked here.

“Experiments. You’ll probably have to go tomorrow, but they do far more to Peter than to me, so it’ll likely be the same for you. Okay, sit for a minute. There’s a lot of things I need to tell you, and I’ve got to get this done before Peter comes back and I have to look after any wounds he gets.”

“Wounds?!”

“Zip it!” Michelle cut him off with her General voice. It worked immediately on Ned, who gave her a quick nod. “I’ll answer any questions you have when I’m done. Okay, we’re in a HYDRA base. Peter and I are the only experiments that haven’t died or been moved or killed. That’s because we made ourselves useful to them. It sucks, but we have to.”


Ned gulped, and Michelle ran a practiced eye over his form. “You don’t have the build to be an operative, or the stomach for a handler, so we’ll have to be creative. Can you do any magic?”

“I- I tried a bunch of times since I woke up in the HYDRA van. It’s like it’s- gone. I don’t think I can, especially not soon.” He murmured.

“That’s okay. It’s a balancing act. Showing enough skill that you’re valuable enough to keep alive, while keeping parts of yourself secret that we can use if there’s ever a chance to escape.”

“Escape?” Ned’s head shot up. “Do you have a plan?”

“Not yet. I’ve been here a little over two years, and Peter doesn’t remember anything but this cage, and I’ve never seen an opportunity. I’m gathering information, and there are a few week spots I’ve found, but it’ll be at least another year until I have the combat ability necessary to take down a HYDRA solider, even in a surprise attack.”

“Oh.” He deflated a little.

“By the way, say absolutely nothing about escape or anything we do in here outside of this cell. They don’t have cameras in here yet, something about budgeting and their own hubris, but eyes will be on you every second you step out. They let us have the crayons and drawings as long as we do well in classes, and it’s best to act like you’re drinking the HYDRA koolaid. Follow mine and Peter’s lead for the first few weeks, and you’ll be fine. You’re smart, and we’ll protect you as best we can.” She tried to infuse her words with comfort, hoping to help her new friend. “Okay, other than that. Um, sometimes Peter comes back after being taken by the guards and can’t speak. When he’s non verbal, don’t try to get him to talk, or touch him without him initiating it first. Don’t ask what happened, or what gave him what injuries. Don’t ask about life before us, his scars, or certain guards. Just, be careful, alright?”

“You really care about him.” Ned said, a soft smile coming over his face. Michelle made a show of grumbling and jokingly punched his arm. “And thanks for letting me know. Anything I should know to avoid with you?”

“Oh,” Michelle blinked, taken aback by his kindness. “Um, ask before you touch my hair. Don’t ask about my dad. That’s about it. You’re my friend, so all the rules I have for other people don’t apply to you.”

She slipped back on her veneer of haughty casualness, but Ned giggled, seeing right through her.

“Alright, MJ. It’s uh, kinda cool to be friends with other kids who like science and stuff-“

“Right! You like computers! You’re good at them. That’s what we’ll sell you on.” Michelle jolted up, the glint Peter called “MJ’s got a plan look” in her eye. “A hacker. They always need more of those, and that’ll keep you from most of the physical danger as well, and there’s no chance of them taking you into the field without us. You’ll probably still do languages, history, and espionage with us, but we’ll be separate during some of my classes. They’ll likely take you then to do computer-y stuff.”

She waved a dismissive hand, exhausted but relieved that Ned would be okay. Ned soaked in her words, nodding along. She was giving him a few more tips about the compound- which guards to avoid, how to earn the Doctor’s favor, a few study tricks- when the door opened again. Ned hastily followed Michelle’s lead as she slunk to the wall and sat facing it, sitting ramrod straight until they heard the door close again.

“Sorry, forgot to tell you, they want you far away from the door, facing the wall whenever they come in.” She said, before approaching Peter. He was upright- that was good. “Peter?”

Ned watched as she made eye contact with Peter, eyebrows lifted in a silent question, a tradition they must have repeated dozens of times. To his relief, Peter shot them a quick smile.

“It was an easy day. He just wanted a skin sample.” Peter waved his arm, showing off a bright red scrape on his pale skin. Michelle tutted and grabbed a towel, carefully cleaning the wound, and then pulling the barest hint of thread from his spinnerets. They had gotten better in the months since she got them into the training program, which had the benefit of slightly more food- it wasn’t painful for Peter to use them any more, but he still couldn’t make much webbing or strong webbing. She wrapped the wound with a practiced ease, and then sighed and laid back. Peter lost some of his glow and pursed his lips halfway through, as if remembering something unpleasant. “Hey, um, did we figure out-“

“Oh yeah! Ned’s good at computers. Base doesn’t have enough hackers, voila! I’m gonna add something in about how he will ‘enhance X-23 and SX-24’s mission ability when working together’” She said, making lazy quotation marks as she lay back on the floor. “Doctor will eat it up. I’ll have a pretty bad headache tomorrow, but it’ll be easy.”

Peter whooped, giving Michelle, and then Ned, a bone crushing hug.

“Peter! Watch the strength, dude.” Michelle said as Ned let out a little ‘eep!’ in Peter’s arms.

“Sorry, sorry,” Peter said bashfully, still smiling. “Ned, Michelle reads a chapter of a book every night. We’re doing the Lord of the Rings right now! Then later we’re gonna color! Oo, and work on our secret language.”

“Secret language?” Ned asked, baffled.

“Peter’s idea.” Michelle rolled her eyes. “Not a bad one, but we’re using stuff that the Agents here won’t know, so all we have so far are made up words and the little Italian Peter knows for whatever reason.”

“Well, I can speak Tagalog. And I guess a few curse words in Bisaya, because my Lolo wanted to curse without my mom understanding it. I could teach you guys?” Ned offered. Peter jumped about three feet in the air with glee (Which Ned was pretty sure was impossible- he’d have to get a run down on Peter’s power’s eventually), and Ned could already see the gears turning behind Michelle’s eyes and the satisfied smirk on her face.

“Alright, you teach us Tagalog, we’ll catch you up on the coursework, sounds like a plan.” Her grin made him glow with pride, but after a beat, her expression grew soft, gentle. “It’s good to have things to look forward to, to keep moving and learning new things. It’s the only way to stay sane. Tomorrow is gonna be hard, Ned. You’re going to get a barcode, which hurts more than anything, and be looked at like a piece of meat. There are going to be nights where you cry yourself to sleep. I don’t mean to bring the mood down, but I want you to be prepared, know that we have your back, and that we’ve managed to scrape out some good moments for yourself.”

“You can have Pep to hold if you get scared tonight,” Peter shyly pushed a threadbare stuffed rabbit at him.

“Thanks, I’m fine though. I’m not a little kid anymore, I don’t need any stuffed animals.” He said, projecting a false bravado. Michelle narrowed her eyes at him and glared him into submission.

“Take the rabbit, Ned.” He let out another ‘eep!’ and realizedthat it was probably best to just do what MJ said.

“Yes, um, thanks Peter.” The boy grinned at him as he gingerly pulled it into his lap.

Ned found himself grateful that Michelle made him take it later. After she had finished her description of Bilbo’s party, after Peter had sung his little Italian lullaby, he was left in the dark, suddenly aware that he was alone in the world, his family gone, waiting for the guards to take him to some painful unknown. His new friends curled around him and the weight of Pep squeezed in his arms were the only things that quieted his cries long enough for his exhausted body to slip into sleep.

Notes:

CW- more hydra shittiness towards these kids. mentioned killing of a child and a dog.

Language and names are weirdly a big part of this story.

Lola and Lolo- grandma and grandpa in Tagalog
Bayani- hero in Tagalog, and a popular Filipino dog name according to a google search
tagalog is the main language of the Philippines, followed by Cebuano (more often called Bisaya), which Ned mentions his grandfather speaking.
Did I get anything wrong on this topic (extremely likely!)? If so, please correct me!

thanks for voting! I’ve decided not to add Harley after some thought, and it looks like y’all agree with me hehe

Let me know what you think! Comments of any kind are so motivating. The support I've received thus far has been amazing, as I'm going through a rough time rn and your words are a refuge :)

Chapter 5: how long do i have to dream

Notes:

Okay, this chapter is kinda insane.
It went much darker than I had ever intended, and may even cause me to add one of the main warnings. I'm going to put CW up here, and while they do have spoilers, I really wanna make sure people are warned and see them!

I have been so, so cruel to poor Ned. I went back and forth between writing this chapter, and fleshing out a later chapter where they all go rollerblading so, if it's too rough, know that they will be okay and do Teen Stuff soon!

I wrote this chapter as a sort of venting after a really traumatic medical event that I had recently, and you can tell lol. None of the other chapters are going to be like this one, as far as I can tell by my outline, so I hope I don't lose you here.

This chapter is a Lot, and I completely understand if you need to sskip it. I will add a detailed summary at the beginning of the next chapter so that you can skip it easily.

CW- surgery, extremely unethical surgery, non-consentual medical practices, amputation, non-consentual drug use,
if there are any more you think I should add, please let me know!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Michelle was wrong. It was not easy.

Ned was woken the next morning to a jackboot jabbing him in the ribs. His mom always said he slept like- nope, not going there, can’t do that right now. Peter and MJ shot him encouraging looks as he was dragged from the cell, and he tried to steady his breathing. Michelle had said they would likely do some scans, barcode him (which sounded horrible, but they said it healed pretty quick). The guards threw him into what he assumed was the experiment room, and he shuddered, left alone with only the cold presence of the Doctor and his machines.

“We’ll do the barcode first.” He glanced down at a file in his hands. “Hmm, right hand dominant. Zed, put the barcode on the right wrist. I won’t be touching that one later.”

Ned stared at the ground throughout the whole process, only flailing his arms when the brand touched his skin. He could see sparks shoot out of his clenched fists through his blurred vision, and the red 'X-25' that now marred his arm.

“Oh, excellent.” The Doctor said, displaying the first hint of emotion Ned had seen from him- a sick sort of glee. Ned could only think- shit, shit, shit. Michelle had said not to betray any powers you had- but he didn’t really even have magic! “Looks like pain is an incentive to magic production. This fits nicely in with the rest of my plans.”

The doctor grabbed a syringe with a needle so large it made Ned squirm. “Sit still or I will make this much more difficult.” The man hissed, and Ned immediately quieted, only a small wince escaping his rigidity when the doctor pushed the needle into his left wrist. He expected to be knocked out, expected to feel dizzy or it to hurt. No, he decided, this was worse.

He couldn’t feel anything. It began as a tingling, pins and needle sensation in his left palm, but soon radiated out into the rest of his body. He couldn’t feel his ragged t-shirt again his skin, or the heat of the medical lamp on his face. He tried adjusting his arm slightly, and the experience of seeing it move but not feeling it made him want to throw up. He felt like a prisoner in someone else’s body, disconnected from the world.

“Can you feel that?” Ned looked down at the doctor’s hand. He was driving a scalpel into his forearm. It was bleeding, but Ned couldn’t feel it. He shook his head, unable to speak. “Good, we can begin. Cast some magic, X-25. Now.”

Ned dizzily looked up, unable to stand, but able to bring his arms up. He shakily moved them in- what did he do with Sam, what was it?- a circular pattern, repeating it over and over. Eventually, sparks started to form, and Ned found that if he stared at the air in front of him, pinching his unfeeling fingers together in a certain way, he could create a ripple in space there. Lost in his magic, he failed to notice the Doctor’s careful gaze.

“That’s enough.” Ned slumped, relieved. Maybe he could go back to the cell now, and Peter could help wrap his wounds and Michelle could read him more of the Lord of the Rings. But his hopes were dashed when the Doctor made no move to let him leave, turning and having a quiet conversation with the assistant behind him. Ned couldn’t hear what they were saying, but he was pretty sure he didn’t want to hear it anyway.

“We’re going to move into phase two. Zed, turn on the tape recorder. Experiment 1 on Subject X-25. Subject has innate magic, which seemed to be localized and controlled through the hands. Will the subject’s enhancement be neutralized after removal of one hand?” The Doctor said, his words cold and clinical, and distant as though they felt to Ned, who was miles outside of his body, they were enough to snap him back into terrified awareness. He tried to sit up, finding that the chair he was in folded back into a steel table, restraints strapping over him. His first reaction was to cry out for his mother, but a gag joined his restraints, though he couldn’t feel it cutting into his cheeks. “X-25 has been given numbing serum v. 3 to prevent subject loss of consciousness, and a short-term healing drug to prevent mortality from blood loss.”

The Doctor had put on gloves, and little glasses that may have looked funny if not for the fucking situation Ned was in now. Ned shut his eyes tightly. He still couldn’t feel anything (thank god), so his only guide to what was happening was the clinking of scalpels against the little metal tray and his occasional spoken notes, which, through a combination of medical jargon and Ned’s current mental state, were absolutely incomprehensible. He was proud of himself- he only started to cry when he heard the sound of the saw grinding through his bone.

He’s not quite sure how long it took, or what exactly happened. He only opened his eyes again when he heard the doctor move over to the assistant again. Don’t look, don’t look, he silently reminded himself, staring at the ceiling and giving up on counting the tiles because he couldn’t focus past five.

“X-25, do the same movements as before.” The Doctor’s voice sent a jagged spike of fear through Ned once more, and he started to circle his limbs again, moving his arms so quickly that he barely notices that the blur of his left arm lacked a hand. Unlike before, however, he felt no tickle in his gut, saw no sparks, produced nothing.

“Subject displays none of the same energy readings as before, even when in stasis. Power seems to have disappeared with the removal of a hand. Promising findings, possible way to neutralize magic users. End session.” As the Doctor scribbled down some more notes, Ned felt hollow, scraped out from the inside. They had taken his family. They had taken his hand. They had taken his magic. “Is X-23 here yet? Good, send her in.”

Ned couldn’t help but make desperate eye contact with her as she walked in. She wore her mask of indifference, as she had warned him she would (I won’t give them a weakness to exploit, she had said), but when her eyes ghosted over the- the stump of his hand, her perfectly controlled face slipped into horror, and she went sheet white.

“Sir,” Michelle said. Ned could hear her voice straining with effort as she attempted to use her power. “I wanted to speak with you about the newest subject. He’s quite skilled with computers, and I believe that SX-24 and I’s mission ability would be far greater use for HYDRA with a technician capable of high-level hacking.”

“We’ll discuss this.” He gestured to a guard, who took Ned by the right arm and began dragging his still-limp body out of the room. Ned couldn’t bring himself to meet Michelle’s eyes again, too worried he would see fear reflected back at him.

***

Peter cried for the first time in a long time when he saw Ned. He could feel himself starting to shut down, Ned’s injury reminding him all too painfully of what they had done to his spinnerets. Think, Peter, he told himself, what would Michelle do? She would access the situation, stabilize the injury, and then reassess. He took a deep breath, and looked over Ned. For the first time, he was glad that the Doctor had made him sit in on a few of the Asset prosthesis surgeries and help repair broken ones that passed through the facility. Though he may never get the sights of the operating room out of his head, he would at least be able to help Ned now. At least, he hoped so.

Ned was unconscious, but breathing regularly and well. The wound wasn’t bleeding too much, already showing some signs of healing. The doctor must have given him some of the serum he synthesized from Peter’s blood. That was good, now the main concern wasn’t keeping Ned alive, but rather getting his body to accept a prosthesis as soon as possible to guarantee the best possible results. He took a deep breath, drawing as much webbing as he could from his spinnerets, barely aware of his aching forearms as he concentrated his hearing on Ned’s pulse. He wrapped the wound, grimacing at the fact that the doctor hadn’t bothered to mold the soft tissue into a stump, and had left the arm to be cut off at an abrupt, jagged angle. The prosthetic would look less clean, but already Peter was running through ideas of how to have the metal mold to his forearm. Metal- where on earth was he going to get the materials for this?

As if answering his silent question, Michelle strode in like a divine messenger, her expression stormy and her hair poofed up in a halo around her. Her arms were full of old prosthetics, scrap metal, an industrial grade task lamp, and a box of medical supplies. Peter smiled for the first time all day, although it was a weak and cracked thing.

“It took a lot, but they’ll keep Ned alive. I got him to give me all of the old prosthetics and housing units. It’s up to you to build him a new hand. If he doesn’t regain most functionality, I don’t know if I can keep him safe again.” She dropped the stuff at his feet, and Peter immediately started combing through the pile looking for a housing unit that would fit Ned’s wrist so that he could attach the electrodes to Ned’s nerves as soon as possible, as well as seal off the injury to prevent infection. “I’m so sorry, but I can’t help you with the hand. I overexerted myself, and I need to sleep. My head’s killing me, and I don’t know how long I’ll be without my power.”

Peter shot up to look at her, alarmed. One of the reasons she didn’t go too far with her power was that if she used it too much, she could lose it for days. Michelle was terrified of being without her secret weapon for that long, and the headaches she got were debilitating, so she seldom used it.

“It’s okay,” He said, grasping her shaking hand and rubbing a soothing thumb along her wrist bone. She was biting her lip like she did when she was extremely upset, and Peter could tell she would be having a meltdown if not for how tired she was. “Your job is to sleep now. You’ve already done so much, and I’ll make sure that Ned’s okay. We’re all okay, you kept us safe, and I’ll keep us safe while you rest.


She nodded, and collapsed onto the mattress. Peter resanitized his hands, and got back to work. He quickly found a usable housing unit, sticking his tongue out as he reshaped the metal with a screwdriver and his fingers to fit Ned’s smaller wrist. He decided that he would connect the electrodes to Ned’s nerves today, and build the actual hand itself in the next few days- that didn’t have as dramatic of a time limit, and he wanted to take his time with it. Glad that Ned was still out cold, he pulled the arm into the task light and went to work attaching the electrode. A process that normally had grown men screaming in pain only elicited small twitches from his friend’s form. When he finished with the electrodes, he let out a shaky breath of relief, and made short work of the rest of the process. The skylight had slid closed and was just starting to slide open again by the time he was done adding the housing unit, but the other two had not shown any signs of stirring yet, even though he had moved Ned to tuck him in besides MJ. Peter sighed, wiped the sweat from his forehead and rewrapped Ned’s injury with his thread. He moved to the corner that felt the safest, sticking to the ceiling with one eye on the door and one eye on his slumbering friends. He would keep watch, and keep them safe as long as he had to.

Notes:

woof! okay, that's over. I hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter. I personally find angst to be therapeutic in an odd way, and all of this angst is balanced out by the absolute fluff I have planned :) also, ned is gonna have a super fucking dope robot hand.

with this chapter, this is the longest fanfic I've ever written! which isn't saying much, as I started reading fanfic in january and writing it in febuary, but still! Your feedback and kind words have encouraged me to keep going and I really appreciate it!

please leave comments if you feel so inclined! :) thanks for reading!

Chapter 6: to tell you how much i love you

Notes:

hi! super short chapter this time, wanted to get something out quickly to temper how dark the last chapter was.

Also, you may have noticed, but I aged them all up a year. This doesn't really change anything, I just realized it was messing with the timeline I have.

SUMMARY of the last chapter- Ned is brought to the experiment room, the Doctor first tests his magic output, drugs him with a numbing agent, and then amputates his left hand. He has Ned try to do magic again, and Ned can't. Michelle walks in, and then uses all of her power to allow Ned to live, and her to take back old prosthetics to the cell so that Peter can build Ned a new hand. Peter quickly attaches a housing unit to Ned's arm, and now just needs to build the prosthetic for Ned.

CW for this chapter- none, actually! Just a bit of recovery, bonding time.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It could be worse, Ned mused frequently in the days following what happened in the experiment room. He had always been a rather optimistic, bubbly person, and he supposed that this was the ultimate test of that. His mom used to tell him to count his blessings, and his dad told him to face each day with a blessing, so he did. Their lessons were light that week, the agents busy with some mission somewhere, so Ned was never without at least one of his friends. More than once, he was woken by Michelle’s cold fingers on his pulse, checking every few hours that he was okay. She watched him religiously, her gaze never softening or wavering. He realized that perhaps her vigilance and sharpness was how she cared, and began to offer her small smiles that seemed to slightly relax her frown. Peter worked on the hand almost every second he was in the cell, even continuing past when the skylight was blocked- hunching over the small task lamp for hours. Several times, Ned had to drag him away from the scrap metal and sit on him to make him go to sleep. Eventually, Peter had gotten to a state where Ned could help with what little coding the hand needed, and Ned delighted in the comfort of strings of code as he typed one handed with computer parts Michelle had found in a storage closet.

Five meals after he had been thrown in, the hand was finished. Peter nervously shuffled his feet and pulled the hand out from behind his back. He had tried to rub out the oil stains with the corner of the towel and match the metal tones as best he could. It did gleam quite a bit in the skylight, the fingers all different materials from different prosthetics, the thumb just a little too big. There was no plastic or silicone plating, just exposed metal joints and screws. Ned loved it. He gave Peter a big hug, and then held out his arm for Peter to click it in to the housing unit. With a little pressure, and a twist, it was in. Ned gasped, instantly moving his fingers, clenching and unclenching his fist.

“Is it good? How is the response time? I wasn’t able to add any extra features to it, no combat enhancements,” Peter babbled as Ned stared at the hand. “Um, I did put something in one of the fingers.”

He untwisted the fingertip of the thumb, and Ned found himself giggle as he looked at the tell-tale USB plug of a flash drive.

“It’s a stupid joke- thumb drive, but I couldn’t find any other thumbs and this one was a little big so I figured I should add some use to it. So, do you like your new hand?” Peter said, nervously as he looked searchingly at how quiet Ned had gone.

“I really like it, Peter. It’s literally, so sick. It’s just- a lot to get used to. I’m a twelve year old with a metal hand- what if everyone thinks I’m weird? And I won’t even be able to use the magic I was born with.” Ned whispers.

“Then I’ll yell at them!” Peter proclaims. “I get that it’s a lot to get used to, and I’m so sorry that it happened. But I’m gonna keep making you the best hands in the world and you’re gonna be so cool with them. So many heroes or powerful people have metal arms. What about the man from the story of the Prequels that you told me the other night? Anakin Skystrider?”

“Skywalker.”

“Skywalker! He’s got all metal arms, and he’s still super dope and powerful. I bet he just needed time before he could use the force again. You’re like, literally a Jedi.” Ned felt his heart start to lift, just a little bit, as he looked at Peter’s excited gesticulating. “Oh, and there’s that guy from the cartoon that you like who doesn’t have an arm.”

“It’s actually called anime, cartoons are American, anime is Japanese.” Ned couldn’t help but correct.

“Ned, I’ve literally never seen a TV show before.” Peter said, deadpan. Ned gave him a sheepish look that made them both grin. “But sure, anime.”

“Um, guy with one arm. Jet, from Bebop?”

“Don’t know what a Bebop is, and no, don’t think so.”

“I don’t know either man, but it’s a good show. Anyways, the wizard guy from Fairy tale?” Peter shook his head. “Oh, Edward Elric?”

“Probably! Look, point is, there are so many bad-asses” Ned couldn’t help but smirk as Peter’s unpracticed mouth ran over one of the curse words he had taught him, “out there with a leg or an arm missing, and they’re so cool. You’re a hero, Ned, and you’re my friend. I’ll beat up anyone who tries to hurt your feelings or says something about your arm.”

“Are we talking about Ned’s hand,” Ned jumped. Jeez, MJ was quiet. He hadn’t even heard her slip into the room, and she had taken a hold of his new hand, examining the joints in the light. “Oh, nice work Peter. Anyways, Peter is right.”

Peter beamed in the background, but all of Ned’s attention was directed towards MJ’s fiery expression. She held his hand tightly, pulling it up slightly and making intense eye contact with Ned.

“What I see when I look at this, is someone who has survived. Someone who was strong enough to suffer a great injury and loss and stand up again. This is the mark of a fighter, of someone brave.” She bit her lip for a second, before drawing Ned’s hand even closer to herself. “If anyone demeans you for that, they’re idiots, and losers, and I will take care of them. Peter says he’ll beat them up, but he’ll probably just try to talk it out with them-“

“Hey, talking works! Also, I’m sure I would-“ Peter’s affronted voice cuts in, before Michelle rolls her eyes.

“Anyways, I don’t think any would say anything, but if they did, I would make them regret it.” Her eyes flashed with a terrifying fire, and Ned sent a quick thank you to the heavens that he was on the same side as Michelle Jones. She looked at his hand and her expression softened, her hands carefully and gently curling his fingers into his palm, before pushing his hand back to his chest. “Always be proud, Ned Leeds. You survived, and you’re going to keep surviving. They took your hand, but we built a new one.”

Ned couldn’t bring himself to speak, but found himself smiling for the rest of the night at his friends, even as Michelle’s voice began to fade and Peter’s soft snores could be heard. He looked down at his hand, and while he couldn’t quite see what MJ and Peter saw, he did see a hand that Michelle had risked everything to get the materials for and Peter had spent days carefully building. He looked at his hand and saw his new family, and he supposed that was enough for now.

Notes:

i hope you enjoyed! we're actually almost at the end of the HYDRA portion of this fic, only a few chapters until they're out. are you excited? I know I am. hydra goons are truly so boring.

in exchange for being so cruel to ned, i am giving him a dope ass robot hand, which is Totally equivalent to everything he's lost. okay, it's not, but to be fair, it is a very cool hand.

I've got a bigger chapter next about half written. tell me if theres anything that you particularly like, so I can keep including it.

Thanks for sticking with me! :)

the title of the first six chapters are all lyrics from the italian lullaby peter sings at the beginning

Chapter 7: the world is so big

Notes:

an extremely lazy time skip.

sneak peek- i don't really talk about it but peter wears shoes for the first time he can think of in this chapter.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It’d been over a year. Peter, Ned, and MJ would be fourteen soon (They decided that Ned should share their birthday as well.) Ned was now at a level where he could siphon money from heavily protected Swiss banks and crack in to every government database he had tried so far. Michelle did well with hand-to-hand combat, but excelled with mission planning, languages, and archery. (She liked that a bow and arrow required, skill, artistry, and precision, but wasn’t as single-purpose and violent as a pistol). Peter could solve unsolvable equations while doing gold-medal gymnastics routines.

But each night, after impressing agents they couldn’t stand with their progress, they would go back to their cell and talk about escaping. Peter now had a pile of scraps they hid under the blanket, concealing signal jammers, tiny explosives, and other gadgets he had built to help them. Michelle had memorized the schedule of the guards, and had drawn an exact map of most of the facility under their mattress. Ned had installed so many backdoors into HYDRA’s mainframe that he could fry their systems with the click of a button. They sat at the edge of a precipice, waiting for Peter to get just a bit stronger, for the big mission planned right around their fourteenth birthdays that would take most of the agents out of the building.

Until that day came, they waited.

***

Peter knew something was wrong when he woke up in the sky. He sat up with a jolt, barely noticing the strain in his back from lying on what appeared to be a metal table. He looked around, trying to use his training and figure out where he was, trying to ignore his rising panic when he noticed MJ or Ned were not with him. He was in a tube-like room paneled entirely in metal, packs and cabinets against one curved wall. Everywhere was the rushing of machines, and dimly he registered the rasp of radio-voices. Where was the light coming from- a window. He lurched over to it, gasping when he looked out. It was so bright, and his eyes could barely adjust. Below him were clouds. Holy crap, he was in an airplane. He momentarily forgot about his situation, too taken aback at the sight of the land below him- a patchwork quilt of dirt and grass and farms. Every so often, he saw what must have been a little house, or a barn. The world was so, so big. And it was more beautiful than he ever could have imagined.

“SX-24.” Michelle’s monotone voice cut him out of his reverie. “Are you listening? You hear us?”

He had a moment of relief upon hearing her, that was then dashed by the fact that she was fully in her General persona. Plus, she’d used their code- anytime she opened with a question about listening, and then a plural pronoun, meant that there were ears on the line and they couldn’t talk freely.

“Yes. What is SX-24 doing here? Will it require X-23 or 25 for its task?” He responded, monotone in kind. He needed to know where they were- was Ned still okay?

“Negative. 23 is your handler, and 25 is providing technical support. Both will remain at base until your return.” She said, and he let out a little sigh. So they were both okay. He guessed he had been grabbed for whatever mission this would be, and they were testing all of them for their performance. Having MJ and Ned at the base also would keep Peter from stepping one toe out of line. He was closer to the world outside than he had ever been, and yet as trapped as always. “I’m sending your mission details now.”

With a ping, Peter was alerted to a tablet by the lockers. Secure facility outside Wichita, private party, not SHEILD, no enhanced forces known. Pretty easy, all things considered. MJ had even included an exact path through the building- one that would go past the least amount of guards, and Ned had disabled their cams. They knew he didn’t want to hurt anyone, and were trying their best not to put him in that position. They could do this. A quick in and out, make the Doctor let his guard down, and soon they could escape. He forced himself not to look out the window for the rest of the trip, deciding that the next time he saw it, it would be with Ned and MJ as they escaped.

Peter had pulled into his tactical suit- far less bulky than the average HYDRA suit, less armored and built more for flexibility, by the time the plane landed. They dropped him off just outside of the building’s gates, and then he was on his own.

“SX-24. X-25 says that that pillar will provide you the most coverage from eyesight when you scale the wall.” Michelle added, her voice crackling over the com.

Peter quirked his lips under the mask as he concentrated on quickly scrambling up the back side of the pillar- stickiness made climbing so easy, and even though he had never gotten to climb something this tall, it felt so natural. The wall was huge to Peter- it had to be over forty feet tall. Everything was giant out here.

“The world is so big.” The metal-armed man had said, staring up through the skylight. “It’s so big, little spider.”

Peter blinked, shaking himself from his memory of A-6. He needed to focus. He scanned the facility from the top of the wall, seeing the second floor window that MJ had pointed out as optimal. He quickly measured the distance, running an equation in his head about the amount of force he would need to clear the gap. He stretched for a moment, then took off running. He heard MJ’s muffled gasp in his ears, and then he was in the air. It was incredible- the feeling of nothing underneath him, a moment of weightlessness, a moment where he wasn’t sure if he was going to make it to the window, a moment where Peter had made the decision, took his life and his body in his own hands.

And then it was over. He had reached the window ledge, and he was on a mission for HYDRA, and MJ might kill him if the guards didn’t for his recklessness. He slipped inside the window, easily breaking the lock with his strength. He crawled along the ceiling, bypassing scores of armed guards- looking up isn’t really something that comes to mind for most people. Michelle directed him to the package- an unassuming metal briefcase, and he had made it all the way back to the first room, with the window he was going to leave through, when someone else spoke on the com.

“SX-24.” The doctor’s voice in his ear made Peter physically flinch. “Kill the man outside the door.”

Peter felt his heart drop through his chest. He was almost out- he hadn’t needed to touch a single person, Michelle had designed it that way. Killing the guard served no purpose, and would just draw more attention to him.

“Sir-“ MJ started, but her com cut off with a click as the doctor muted her.

“SX-24. Kill him.”

“It- makes no sense for the mission, sir. It would just-“

“I don’t care. I gave you an order. You fulfill that order, SX-24.” The doctor’s voice was dangerous now, dripping with a venom Peter had rarely seen, and the last time he’d seen it, his spinnerets were damaged irreparably. Peter froze. What the hell could he do? If he disobeyed, they would hurt him. They could hurt Ned, or MJ. But, he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t kill the nameless person outside- couldn’t let HYDRA take one more life from the world. He sent a silent apology to Ned and MJ, and hoped they wouldn’t be punished for his choice.

“No. I won’t do it.”

Static. Silence, like the air before a summer storm. Peter heard the guard’s feet clicking down the corridor, before fading from earshot.

“Rendezvous with the other agents.” The doctor’s voice was cold. Peter couldn’t tell what he was feeling, and it terrified him. “We will… talk, when you get back.”

The line went dead, and as Peter stepped onto HYDRA’s plane once more, he couldn’t help but think that his boots on the metal sounded like the gunshots of a firing squad.

***

They brought him back to the cell immediately as they arrived at the base. Peter couldn’t help but feel a drop of relief join the sea of terror in his gut. At least he might be able to apologize to his friends. Sure enough, Ned and MJ were both there, their eyes wide, MJ’s hair frizzed and Ned wringing his metal wrist.

“MJ, Ned-“ Peter started, ready to pour out apologies, but he was cut off almost immediately by both of them rushing him into a hug.

“God, Peter, are you okay?”

“Dude, I’m sorry, we couldn’t do anything to stop them from grabbing you-“

“-and they were on the line so I couldn’t tell you anything and-“

“You guys are sorry?” Peter was the one to cut them off this time. “I’m sorry. I- I couldn’t kill him. I risked all of our lives, they could have hurt you. I just-“

“Peter,” Michelle could see the signs of him starting to panic, and stepped back to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I’m proud of you. You don’t want to kill anyone, and you won’t let them take that from you. I know I urge us to keep our heads down, compromise, but- there’s some lines we just can’t cross. I’m proud of you for drawing that line.”

“Both of us support you for that. I don’t wanna hurt anyone either, and we’re with you to the end of the line.” Ned said, jutting his head up a little and puffing his chest out. Peter couldn’t help but smile through his teary eyes and hug them again.

“Okay, but we need to move up our plans for escape. The doctor is going to come for you, and we need to get out.” MJ said, back to her harsh, General tone.

“But- I still haven’t extracted our files yet, I know that Peter wanted to know what HYDRA had about who he was-“ Ned hesitantly added.

“Ned, it’s okay.” Peter’s lips set in a thin line. “My future with you guys is far more important than my past. Wiping the server will be far more efficient, and that way other HYDRA bases won’t find our info.”

“Alright, so we’ll begin at first light-“ But Michelle was not able to finish her plan, as guards surged into the room, pulling Peter with them before the others even had time to relax.

The last thing that Michelle heard before Peter faded from her human senses was one of the agent’s orders, and it froze her to the spot.

Doc says to bring this one to the chair.

Notes:

looks like I couldn't let them escape hydra without a little more angst- and are they ever going to be fully free of hydra? probably not.

but! peter got to see outside for the first time! :D only for me to torture him by immediately making him go back to jail.

Chapter 8: red sky

Notes:

some notes- in this chapter I use the 'faustus method', whatever the hell that is (i think they show it in agents of shield? idk, haven't watched that show, I just read about it on the wiki) i don't know if that's how they brainwashed bucky, but it is a hydra brainwashing method.

also this work now has 2000 hits??? which Holy shit thank you???? :D

CW- hydra bein real shitty to kids, light eye-focused body horror, guns,

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Peter’s breathing was cutting in and out. The chair, the chair, the chair. They were finally going to do it- take one last thing from him, scoop out everything that makes him Peter and leave him hollow. He hardly remembered anything past hearing that guard’s orders, hardly remembered anything before the cold snap of the restraints on his skin snapped him out of his reverie. He still kept his eyes shut tightly, balling up his fists like he was little again. Maybe if he couldn’t see, it wasn’t happening.

“Doc, are we wiping this one?” The assistant was futzing around Peter, and he could hear unknown metal implements clinking together, a sort of twisted version of wind-chimes- wait, why did this remind him of wind-chimes? The assistant placed something cool and slick on either side of his forehead- what he recognized to be the gel electrode patches. The temperature of them was a welcome change, but the little he relaxed was suddenly undone as clinical gloves placed hooks into the delicate skin around his eyes, prying them open and forcing him to look forward.

“Hmm, no. The Faustus method doesn’t require it, and we’ve already wiped SX-24’s mind once. With the elasticity of a young brain, I’d rather not risk another.” Peter felt his heart in his throat- what did they mean, they had already wiped him once? What was there to wipe? The doctor walked in front of Peter, and the boy couldn’t help but let a little whimper as he came near. The doctor chuckled a little, his pale fish eyes looking deep into Peter, cupping the side of his face almost gently, before pressing his thumb sharply just below Peter’s cheekbone. Peter wished he could look away, shut his eyes, but the restraints bound everything from his neck to his ankles, and the skin of his face was pulled taught over his bones. “You are my greatest creation, I think. I cannot wait to finish reshaping you.”

He dropped his hand from Peter’s face, leaving the shuddering boy behind him, before nodding at the assistant.

Peter could still feel the ghost of the Doctor’s soft fingers on his skin when his brain started to scream.

***

Michelle was shaking. They had Peter. They had him and they were taking him to the chair and she and Ned were going to lose him-

“MJ!” Ned shook her slumped shoulders firmly. “MJ, listen to me. We have to focus.”

“I- I- don’t know what to do.” She said, hollow, every plan she’s ever had flying out of her head at the thought of Peter in that room again, being tortured, losing the memories of Peter Pan and Star Wars and all of the things they were going to do together.

“We get out, and we get him out. That’s what we do.” Ned set his jaw, suddenly looking years older.

“Yeah. Yeah.” She said, coming back into herself a bit. “Okay. What do we have? We can use Peter’s explosives on this door, I take out whatever guards are in the hallway-

“While I run to the east server room and plug in the thumb drive, wiping all trace of us and shutting off their systems.”

“We’ll then get to the experiment lab, grab Peter, and take the duct when possible, fighting our way out when not.” Michelle nodded, smoothing her hair back into a more tactical bun. “This will work. It has to.”

Ned and MJ spent the next minute and a half preparing. They’d run practice drills almost every night, so it was second nature at this point. Michelle checked the makeshift wickedly carved piece of scrap metal that served as a knife before she could pick up some of the guard’s weapons. Ned shoved the explosives into one cargo short pocket, then picking up Pep and placing her gently in the other one.

“I wish I had pockets like yours,” MJ grumbled while they primed the explosives on the lock.

“They’re magical.” Ned said, grinning as he did jazz hands, somehow managing to set off the detonator at the same time. “Oops.”

MJ said nothing, merely raising an eyebrow before she kicked the door down. She made quick work of the guy just outside in the hallway, knocking him out with a quick chop to the back of the neck, then sticking his gun in the waist of her pants with a displeased twitch of her lips. Ned considered saying something about how he thought that only worked in movies, and then remembered that he was supposed to be running for his life. He sprinted down the hallway, MJ just beside him, her sharp eyes scanning the terrain in front of them.

They reached the terminal, and Ned immediately unscrewed his thumb drive, jamming it into the port, typing furiously with his remaining 9.5 fingers. Within thirty seconds, the clicking of the keys punctuated by the grunting of Michelle incapacitating two more HYDRA men, Ned finished. He jammed the enter key, whooped, and grabbed MJ by the wrist.

The HYDRA hallways seemed longer than they had ever been, and Ned was panting by the time they got close to where the lab was. They were still pretty far, however, when they started to hear the screaming. It was Peter, and through all the years Michelle had known him, she had never heard him scream like that. Not when he had a bad day, not when they broke his arm for refusing to use a gun, not when he had nightmares. Michelle stumbled, her legs freezing up in fear before she reminded herself that screaming meant Peter was still alive. If he was screaming they weren’t done yet, he wasn’t dead, he’s still there and they were almost to the door and he wasn’t gone.

The screaming stopped just as Ned and MJ reached the lab entrance, and Michelle heard a haggard cry, like a wounded animal come from somewhere. It took her a moment to realize that she was the one who uttered it.

The scene that greeted them, upon bursting into the lab, was horrific. Peter was completely restrained, his red, weepy eyes peeled open at nauseating flashing images, every pulse of electricity making him shudder in pain. He was paler than they had ever seen him, once curly hair darkened and plastered to his clammy forehead with sweat, a trickle of blood oozing down the chair and to the tile below where he had dug his fingernails into his palm.

“Alright, shut it off, I’ve finished.” The doctor had his back to them, removing the hooks from Peter’s eyes and then releasing the restraints. Peter just slumped forward, like a marionette with its strings cut.

“Tell us what you did to him,“ MJ ordered, her voice trembling.

“What are you doing out of your cells? I didn’t send for you.” The doctor spun around, and MJ allowed herself to relish the hint of worry on his face, the fact that for once he wasn’t dictating everything that was happening.

“We’re getting out of here, asshole, and Peter’s coming with us.” Ned too was shaking with rage.

“Peter?” The doctor laughed, then laughed again like he was privy to some joke they didn’t understand, “Peter? That’s what you call it? How… quaint. I’m afraid that won’t work out too well for you. He’s been given codewords. We have complete control of SX-24, no matter where it goes. Even you killed me, HYDRA is everywhere- cut off one head, you know. We would find it, and bring it back so easily.”

“Does he- did you erase- him?” MJ managed to force out.

“Oh, SX-24’s memory hasn’t been fully wiped. There might be some side affects, but I’ll still be able to see what happens when a subject is fully conscious of who you are when it’s wrapping hands around your neck, when it watches the life fade from your eyes.” MJ could barely hear the end of his sentence over the sudden pulse of blood in her ears.

Red sky,” the doctor began. Peter snapped to attention, his gaze unfocused and purposeless, not even noticing the blood that pooled and fell from his irritated left eye.

“Fuck,” Michelle swore.

Twenty-four” The doctor was starting to smirk.

“MJ, what do we do?” Ned frantically asked.

Jaundice,”

“MJ!”

Iron-“

Michelle, whipped her stolen pistol up, her right arm not even having the time to tremble, and shot the doctor in the head.


He fell to the floor, the smirk still frozen on his face even in death.

They were silent for a moment, and Michelle felt nothing at all, looking at the body of the man who had tortured them for so long. His blood was already starting to run down the cracks in the linoleum.

“Okay, shit. Alright, um, Peter!” Ned panted, before running over to shake the dazed Peter. “Peter, dude, we’re right here. Can you come back to us?”

It took a while, but soon Peter started to gasp out deeper breaths. Ned pulled him away from the chair, ready to push him out the door.

“Guys- guys I can’t see, it’s too bright.” Peter whimpered, clutching his eye sockets with his blood-stained palms. “Hurts.”

“Shit, um okay.” Ned tore off part of his T-shirt, tying it around Peter’s eyes in a blindfold. Peter mumbled a thank you, and MJ shook herself back into her body. She could not fall apart here. Breakdowns were for corners, in the dark, where no one could see her. She shoved down her emotions, and then made eye contact with the assistant, who had a look of absolute fear MJ thought her ten year old self might have worn when the very same assistant branded her. He went down hard, and did not move after her second shot rang out.

They ran out, their brief time in the hallway before hauling themselves into an air duct barely noticed in the hubbub of the base falling apart. Below them, someone was shouting about how the locks had gone down in the western containment cells, about how a fire had broken out in Lab 3. After what felt like an eternity of crawling. Michelle stiffened in the way that she did when focusing hard on a memory, and murmured the first words spoken in minutes.

“We should be just by the exit.” She grabbed her makeshift knife from her boot, using it to pry off the grate. She dropped, catching Peter as he fell, and Ned dangled for a second by his fingertips before MJ managed to persuade him down. It was silent, and all they could hear was their exhausted breaths around them as they faced the small door in front of them.

In the end, it was Peter who made the move for them, stumbling forward despite his blindness, and wrenching the door open. Ned and MJ didn’t even have a moment to gaze at the world in front of them before Peter cocked his head, hissing out “We need to go. There’s five guards coming this way.”

He held his trembling palms out, and together, they joined hands and stepped out. For the first time in years, they were running under sky, running away and out of that awful place.

And as they ran, not one of them looked back.

Notes:

alright they are OUT! woo hoo!

I made MJ kill at least two people, oops. I'm sure that won't have any lasting impact on her /j

absolute whiplash here from commentary on pockets to peter crying blood lol

i also couldn't help drawing that "you are my greatest creation" parallel i am sorry lads

Chapter 9: leeds/jones/parker

Notes:

hi! Sorry about the long break. I had some medical stuff anf a bunch of research I had to do to make sure I had the timeline right.
I actually haven’t watched any Marvel content other than the first avengers movie years ago, and Homecoming recently. so uh everything I know abt marvel has been through cultural osmosis and the intense wiki scrolling I just did. I made myself a little timeline of all of the relevant events and I’m good to go!

This chapter is pretty chill, oh and it starts with a character waking up Again- I promise I will stop opening with that. I’m not super pumped about it, but I’ve got some good stuff coming (Tony POV baybeee!)

Small thing tho-
CW- discussions of controlling eating. None of what they’re doing is an eating disorder nessisarily, they’re just coming from not having enough to eat for an extended time, and so they’re watching what they eat and going slowly. If this is triggering to you, you can skip the second half of this chapter and I’ll summarise in the next! Stay safe!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Peter woke up in the darkness again. For a moment, he panicked. He couldn’t remember where he was, or what exactly had happened after the guards dragged him towards the chair. Had they succeeded? What had happened to his friends? Was he back in the cell?

And then he felt the softness of an unfamiliar material under him and heard Ned yell something about cornflakes, and realized that they had done it. They were out. He sat up with a jolt- it was still dark, and he couldn’t see but he needed to make sure MJ and Ned were okay-

“Woah, woah, Peter! You’re alright!” Ned’s voice drew closer. “Here, your eyes have probably healed enough to take this off-“

Peter felt Ned’s soft hand brush against his forehead, removing the blindfold that still covered his eyes. He blinked in the sudden brightness, cataloguing his surroundings. He was on a plush brown couch, in a medium sized wood panelled walled room. Michelle’s cloud of hair was buzzing around the tiny kitchen in the corner, and his heart skipped a beat as he realized that there were windows, and through them, trees.

“We’re in someone’s vacation cabin in Upstate New York. So close to the city all this time, huh? We had been running through the woods for a while, MJ kept saying we should find a cave for the night, I told her there was no way that I was sleeping where there could be snakes or bats. Did you know that bats are the number one carrier of rabies in the US? Ned Leeds is not getting rabies, thank you.” Ned rambled, rocking back and forth on his heels. MJ looked away from her frying pan long enough to give him a look, and he coughed. “Sorry, so we were arguing about caves and then you managed to literally run into the wall of this cabin. MJ checked it out, the rental is open for the next few weeks on the site, so we should be good to camp here. We’re gonna get on our feet, and then get to the city. We’re going to live in New York City, Peter!”

“I- Oh-“ Peter gave up on trying to articulate what he was feeling in words, and merely rose on his unsteady feet and hugged Ned so tightly. “Wait but, are they going to be after us?”

“No,” Michelle’s lip twitched, and she picked up a remote from the counter and pointed it at the TV, clicking a few buttons. A news broadcast was pulled up.

“Last night, a massive explosion destroyed an Oscorp Lab in upstate New York.” A blond woman said, her face an expressionless mask as a photo of what Peter realized must be the lab faded in- fire licking up the side of the main building. “It is unknown what the facility was researching, and OSCORP representatives have declined requests for an interview. However, all are presumed dead. Back to you, Mark.”

“Very sad stuff there, Jessica. It’s summer, and boy is it a hot one out there! Stay cool by-“

Michelle clicked the TV off.

“So- they’re really gone. It’s gone.” Peter sagged back onto the couch. He wasn’t sure why this was hitting him so hard, that it was finally over.

“Yeah, and there aren’t many other HyDRA facilities either. Ned’s done some cursory research, just to make sure that we’re completely gone from the files, and believe it or not but the majority of HYDRA was exposed to the public and wiped out about a year ago. Their biggest remaining base was destroyed only a few months ago.” MJ scowled down at the pan, poking something with a spatula. “A couple of missing lab subjects is not whatever remains of HYDRA’s biggest worry. We’ll be careful, but we should be safe.”

“Good, good.” Peter sighed in relief, before opening and closing his mouth again. He was going to ask about whether they knew if the chair had worked on him or not, whether Michelle was doing okay after killing the doctor. But he looked at Michelle’s tense back as she prodded whatever she was looking at, and decided that they could talk about it later. For now, they would rest, and tuck away the memories of the lab in a small, dark, unseen space. He looked up at Ned, and gave him a big, if a little tired smile. “So what’s next?”

“Well, you’ve gotta pick a name!” Ned exclaimed, clasping his metal hand in his other one, rubbing them together gleefully. “I’m making us some identities, getting us passports and birth certificates and all of that. I reached out to a supplier, and I just need to give him the info and then they’ll be here in a couple days!”

“Okay, um, I choose Peter.”

“No, no, like a last name. Should probably be different from me and MJ’s too, because MJ made a whole cover of us being in a foster family to explain why we live together.”

“I’m picking Michelle Jones. It wasn’t actually my legal name, but there’s no way I’m keeping that bastard’s last name.” Michelle’s voice had the same tension it always had the few times she spoke of her father, her jaw cocked proudly and her shoulders braced for any challenge. Peter was starting to worry about whatever she was cooking, based on the way she was scowling at it.

“I’m keeping Leeds. I know that it’s a risk, to keep the name and not delete all of the information online about my family but…” Ned’s lip quivered, and he balled his hands in the hem of his t-shirt. “The papers report ‘Edward Leeds’ as having died with his family, so I guess that’s true huh? I’ll just be Ned.”

MJ abandoned her skillet to place a comforting hand on Ned’s arm, and gave him a small smile. “It’s perfect, Ned. You don’t have to give up your family’s name. We’ll keep them with us that way.”

Ned enveloped her in one of his trademark hugs, and Peter couldn’t resist but bounding up to join them. After a moment they broke away.

“Okay, well I’ll be Peter. Peter Parker.” He blurted out.

“Woah! Alliteration dude, nice!” Ned slapped him on the back and Peter found some of his nervousness melting off of him.

“Where is Parker from?” Michelle asked, cocking her head and narrowing her eyes at him.

“Um, before you guys were there,” Peter began. MJ and Ned stiffened, not daring to make a sound. “There was one guy, a guard, who tried to get me out. He um, his name was Ben Parker. Said his brother, a scientist there, got him the job but that he hated it and that it was wrong, and I didn’t understand what he was talking about or why he looked at me so sad. And he gave me extra food and talked to me when he could and then one day he grabbed me and we ran, and I swear I was running fast enough but I was exhausted and they caught up to us. And they- they- shot him. I pulled him away, down into a supply closet, and I tried to use my webs but this was back when they were more injured and I couldn’t make any. I sat there, in the dark, trying to get him to stay awake, and I was too scared to go get anyone or- or leave”

Peter let the words rush out of him like a flash flood, gasping in the wake of them. He couldn’t look at Ned or MJ, staring directly at a stain in the carpet, clinging to it like a lifeline.

“There was. So much blood.” He continued, once he had caught his breath. He dimly registered MJ clutching his hand and Ned rubbing his shoulder blade in soothing circles. He couldn’t look at them, or he would never be able to finish this. “I’d seen a lot of blood before, in the lab, but never this much. I think- I think that might have been the first time I saw someone die, like saw their eyes go all cloudy, but I don’t even know if that’s true, guys, because they told me they’d already wiped my memories once before, and if that’s true, what else am I forgetting? Were there others like Ben? I don’t want to forget him, I don’t want to!”

At this, he frantically made eye contact with MJ, his face pleading for absolution. “It was my fault Ben died. It was my fault and I held him for hours in there, MJ. I- don’t know how long it was exactly but they took away the shower and the sink that week as part of the punishment and I still had his blood on me weeks later, I couldn’t get it out, MJ-“

“Peter. Breathe.” MJ ordered, and Peter did, sucking in air he didn’t realize he desperately needed. “It wasn’t your fault. And you don’t get to argue with me on that. I’m not saying that because I’m your friend, I’m saying it because it is logically inarguable. You were a child, locked away against your will. You didn’t make Ben do anything, you didn’t ask for it, you didn’t pull the trigger-“

At that, her jaw clenched, and she looked at the ground, guilt flashing briefly behind her eyes.

“Peter, she’s right.” Ned said, a little more gentle. His eyes were so kind as he stepped forward and took Peter’s other hand. “Ben was a good man, and in the end, you did get out. I think it’s a great idea to take his last name with you. It’s not your fault, but one way you can make it better is to live, Peter. We’re out- we’re in the real world where we have names and freedom and our lives are our own. You’ll honor Ben the most by leaving the past behind and choosing to step forward and live.”

Peter sniffled, squeezing his friends hands. MJ was giving Ned an awestruck look, her guilt forgotten.

“You’re really good at speeches, dude.” Peter said, voice still a little wobbly. MJ nodded in agreement, and Ned beamed at her.

“Thanks dude! I learned from Obi Wan!” He exclaimed, crossing his arms in a self satisfied expression.

“Alright. Michelle Jones, Ned Leeds, Peter Parker.” MJ says, turning a small smile out the window. “You guys ready to face the world?”

“Hell yeah!” Ned whooped. Peter merely gave her a smile and a hand squeeze in response. “What are we waiting for, let’s go!”

“Ned!” MJ slapped him on the back of the neck with the spatula before he could skip to the door. “You idiot! I meant that metaphorically! We’re sticking to the plan. Two weeks here to eat well, get the documentation, embezzle funds from OSCORP, find an apartment in Queens, get bus tickets, order supplies and clothes, and catch up on the news.”

“Oh. Oops.” Ned sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. “Got excited, sorry. I still feel kinda bad about stealing from OSCORP, though.”

“If they can fund a Neo-Nazi terrorist organisation like HYDRA, and pay to house us in a torture lab, than they can pay for our housing out here.” She rolled her eyes and returned to the blackened mess that Peter couldn’t identify. I know you, and you don’t leave tracks Ned. We’ll be good. You can even get yourself a Lego set to go along with your new laptop.”

With this, Ned brightened considerably, all past reservations forgotten as he rushed over to a fancy looking laptop on the counter, flipping it open and immediately getting to work. MJ’s lips quirked up as she watched him, before she sharply turned to stare down Peter.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you!” She pointed the spatula at Peter, waggling it threateningly. “No leaving the cabin until it’s night out, we don’t use the lights after 7 PM, it’s safe, but we shouldn’t be stupid. We’re getting food into you but nothing too rich, and we go slow. I’ve read so many articles on refeeding syndrome in the day and a half that you were out, and I’m determined to do this right. Oh, and!” She slammed down several bottles of pills. “We are all taking the multivitamin regimen that I’ve put together. The three of us obviously have not had proper nutrition in years, you’re already too small for our age, and I’m worried about your immune system. Do you feel sick at all? Maybe we should have sanitized the house.”

Mj worried at her lip with her teeth, her brow scowling as she ran a hundred scenarios through her brain. Peter couldn’t help but laugh at the familiar sight. “Okay, okay MJ, you’re the boss. I feel amazing, silly.” He punched her shoulder playfully and her expression softens.

“Besides, let’s worry about something fun while Ned commits a few felonies. You remember the list, right?” MJ perked up at his words. “Let’s work on it, write it down, and start crossing things off.”

The List was a oral document that MJ kept and Peter and Ned made frequent suggestions to. It was a collection of so many myriad things- Peter insisted that things be listed in the order things were added, and it always made Michelle’s eye twitch at the lack of organisation. Foods, places, books, movies- a thousand things that they wanted to try when they were Out. All so impossible before, and now that they were finally in reach, it was a thrilling, if overwhelming, possibility. MJ grabbed a ball pen and a pad of paper that had been given as a freebie from a local real estate agent. She narrowed her eyes, before beginning to write, Peter peering over her shoulder as Ned would occasionally interrupt with “Did you remember to write…” and “oh! Make sure to add-“. Within a few minutes, MJ had scrawled through three pages of the notepad, and Ned had added the embezzled money to their new bank account.

“MJ, I’m done. And I ordered all the clothes you put on the wishlist, even though they’re boring as hell.” Ned spun around in his wheelie chair.

“They’re for stealth! And blending in!” She exclaimed, affronted.

“Borrringgg! Not enough graphic tees.” He sang back.

“You can have graphic tees when we’re in New York. Until then, stealth!” She ordered, and Ned pumped his fist in victory. “What’s next?”

“Let’s- let’s order food delivery!” Peter jumped out of his chair, grinning from ear to ear. “It’s number 12!”

“Okay, but what kind of food?” Ned was still spinning. “You can’t just. Pick up the phone and say ‘Hello bring me food’ you have to like, pick a type of food.”

“Meat?” Peter suggested. He had had meat once or twice, and liked it better than most of the porridges and energy bars, though it was quite tough.

“Not how food works, Pete. Y’know, like Mexican, pizza, Chinese, burgers, Thai, Italian…”

MJ opened her mouth, ready to interject to veto some of the choices as not conforming to her strict eating plan for them, but beat her to it, scanning the list and pointing at an entry between ‘see a pideon’ and ‘atla (NOT movie)’ “Let’s do… pasta!”

“Peter, you are psychic, my friend. I’ve been craving fettuccine for like, years.” Ned laughed at his ‘it sounds like an exaggeration but it’s not because we’ve been imprisoned for a large portion of our lives’ like he always did. MJ scoffed, but relented to Ned’s enthusiasm.

“We can do pasta. We’re all starting out with plain noodles, and then we can see if we can handle the sauce, but it’s not as complex as some of the spicier foods so it should be fine.” The boys whooped, Ned grabbing the landline and probably confusing the restaurant with his order of “just bring me a huge pot of spaghetti, with the sauce in a separate container. The largest amount of spaghetti you’re legally allowed to sell me”

Within an hour, they were crouching behind the couch as Peter monitored the delivery driver’s footsteps.

“We’re good to go, the package has been dropped off and subject is leaving the area.” He said, with a nod to Michelle, who crawled to the door and opened the door a crack to quickly grab the food, as Ned giggled behind her.

Peter looked at him in askance, wondering why he was laughing, but all Ned could say was, “We’re so weird.”

The restaurant had indeed sent them so much pasta, possibly because Ned had given them a 220% tip. Peter ate about a pound of noodles, and then half a pound of noodles with sauce under Michelle’s careful eye, while Ned kept trying to speak with his mouth full of pasta.

Peter reflected, as he lay back on the ground, the sound of Ned and MJ fighting over who got to cross off the entries of the list in the background, that he had never felt so full.

Notes:

woop! just kidding Ben was here, kinda! italian food! oscorp is responsible for the spider bite in a weird way in this fic! i swear Peter will get to touch a tree in the next chapter.

for the timeline, the only thing I’ve changed so far are the trio’s birthdays. right now, it’s June 2015, Michelle’s bday is in a month, and they’ll be going into freshman year of highschool.

Chapter 10: lucciola

Notes:

new yawk baby!

no content warnings for this one, only fluff and paperwork.

They use ASL here but it’s written translated into English, with English grammar structures

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

By the end of their two weeks stay in the cabin, the three of them already looked better. Michelle pounced on the conditioner and took a two hour long shower, and returned with a small, self-satisfied smile and far healthier hair. Peter snacked on Dino nuggets and ice cream as he worked on metal arm cuffs to hide their barcodes, while Ned, in between scrolling through forums and newsfeeds, and continuing to build up their fake identities, had binged a ridiculous amount of Star Wars content.

The best times in the cabin, however, were at night, when the cover of the remote darkness allowed them to feel safe enough to venture outdoors.

Peter was the most enraptured by their surroundings, running his hands through the leaves and grasses, marveling at the plant life. He climbed to the top of a pine, struggling a bit with the unfamiliar texture of the bark, and spent the first night picking out constellations and asking Michelle to use her memory of an astronomy textbook she read once to name them.

“MJ,” Peter had said, perched atop the pine, his pale skin shining, silloetted in the moonlight. “I’m so glad we got to see them. I’m glad we didn’t die before we got to see the stars.”

Michelle, who, as a city dweller, was rather new to nature as well, had managed to hide her joy until that moment, couldn’t keep the emotions from her face any longer.

“Yeah, me too.” She said softly, hoping that her expression was too dark to see.

The darkness of the night didn’t last long, however, as a few nights of running through the woods later, fireflies started to appear in droves, lazily rising from the grass like little blinking stars.

“Ned! Ned!” Peter had screamed from outside, and for a moment, MJ was terrified. Had they been- “There’s magic! There’s magic!”

Ned’s computer skittered off his lap as he leapt in to action, running out with MJ at his heels, the boy pausing to laugh when he saw what Peter was looking at.

“Oh, dude, those are just fireflies.”

“Fire-flies? You mean, these are just normal? They’re so bright!” Peter was awestruck, reaching his hand out tentatively, like he was afraid touching one might burn him with its luminance.

“I haven’t seen them before either,” MJ offered, keeping her eyes on the bugs. “Just read about them. But yeah, not magic, merely a chemical reaction-“

“Shhh, MJ, tell him later! I always wanted to do this with my little brother.” MJ immediately shut down what was going to be a sharp retort as Ned ran inside, both she and Peter looking at each other with surprise. Ned never mentioned his brother, and for him to do it while happy was a special thing indeed. Within moments, Ned came out with a glass jar. “Mason Jar! You catch fireflies and put them in the jar for an hour or two, and you have a lantern! You have to put them back after that though, or they’ll die.”

“Ned, I think we know first hand not to look things in cages.” MJ said dryly, and Ned let out a shocked giggle. MJ figured that if Ned could talk about his brother, she could make a joke about the lab. “But a few hours sounds fun.”

“What are we waiting for! Let’s go!” Peter snatched the jar from Ned’s hands, running off with a gleeful shout as he scooped two fireflies inside.

“Bet I can catch more than you, MJ” Ned dared her, with a smirk.

“You’re on,” and with those words, MJ was off too, and the three of them ran around until they were breathless, with a jar full of lightning bugs and no idea who had won the game.

“We did it!” Peter crooned, gently passing the jar to Ned, who looked at it in reverence.

“Yeah, yeah we did.” Ned said, his voice more subdued than his normal exuberance. Peter and MJ both gazed at the reflections of the flickers in his dark eyes, giving him the space to continue in his own time. “Thank you guys, for doing this with me. I um, figure, that one of the Leeds should keep doing stuff like this. If I can’t show Sam firefly jars, I wanna show my best friends them.”

“Of course,” Peter’s face warmed with a smile that rivaled the brightness of fireflies, before placing a hand over Ned’s chest. “You’re family, and Sam’s family too. When we run, he runs with us. At least, that’s what you guys taught me.”

“Yeah, Ned. Fireflies are magic, right? And you’re magic too. I’m sure that wherever Sam is right now, you’ve given him fireflies.” MJ added, and the three of them stare into the jar one last time, before unlatching the lid and watching the little bugs fly into the darkness, free and brilliant, until dawn’s first light began to crest over the trees.

***

The morning of the bus ride was cold, grey, and damp. MJ meticulously returned everything in the cabin to exactly how she remembered it, while Peter ran around with one sock on trying to get all of their stuff together. With one final goodbye to their first real place outside of the lab, and a quick walk into town, they were boarding the early Greyhound to New York City.

Michelle ushered them into the most optimal seat (one row back from the front, not the drivers side, where they could easily establish lines of sight, catalogue threats, and exit the vehicle quickly.) The bus driver raised one eyebrow at them, but was placated by Peter’s winning smile and babbled tale of visiting friends in the city, and returned to his sudoku puzzle for the rest of the wait. The bus left ten minutes after the departure time, the bus driver confused why the other passengers, on a completely sold out bus, hadn’t shown up yet, before shrugging and continuing. Ned winked at Michelle, having bought the rest of the seats on their bus days ago.

The ride was easy, minus Ned having to pull down Peter more than once after he got too excited and jumped out of his seat to see something better. They kept their conversation quiet, but the blaring AM radio was so loud that MJ was sure that he couldn’t hear Peter asking if that water was a lake (yes, and the man there is fishing) was that a duck or a goose (it’s a crane) is that a mountain? (No, just a pretty steep hill). As the towers of New York City grew closer and closer in view, MJ felt exhilaration and fear run like lightning down her nerves. She was going home, after all these years, to a city she had never forgotten, but had likely forgotten her. Watching Peter’s jaw drop as he started to realise just how huge skyscrapers were helped to take her mind off it, however.

“There’s the library,” She found herself explaining, as they crossed into Queens, Ned’s and Peter’s faces both smushed into the windows, “That cafe makes really good hot chocolate.”

“Oo, oh! Where’s the sunflower mural!”

“And is that Del-mar’s? The one that is ‘way better’ than the ‘waste of space’ Submarine Haven,” MJ smiled at their exuberance, happy that her friends had remembered her few stories (with maybe some mistakes) of her life in Queens.

“Alright kids, we’re here. Watch your step as you exit, yada, yada.” The bus driver waved a careless hand, already nose deep in a crossword as he pulled the bus to a stop.

The three of them stumbled out into the city, for a moment overcome by just how much there was. Lights, sounds, colors, smells, people. MJ could see Peter starting to tense up in the way he did before he had a sensory meltdown. Shit, she should have factored that into her plans. She yanked both of the boys by the forearms, and started to quickly walk in the direction of their new apartment.

“Sorry, sorry, but we need to get out of the street. Let’s go!”

“Awww, but there’s a gamest-“ Ned cut himself off as she jerked her head meaningfully in Peter’s direction and he saw Peter starting to rock back and forth with an unfocused look in his eyes. “Yep, going now. Hold tight, Pete, like five minutes until we’re there.”

They made it to the apartment with in two and a half, MJ utilising her encyclopaedic knowledge of Queen’s alleyways to duck out of foot traffic. Ned took Peter up to the door to wait, while MJ checked in with the landlord, and used a little of her persuasive power to muscle him into giving her their key without complaint or ceremony. By the time she got up the stairs, not trusting elevators, Ned had already picked the lock and put Peter inside, where he’s curled up in the corner.

“Sorry for not waiting.” Ned gestured, using sign language like they normally did when Peter was having an episode, to avoid adding more stimulus. “Wanted to make sure he was good.”

“No, no,” Michelle replied, making the sign as adamantly as possible, trying to reassure her friend. “You made the right choice. It’s safer in here. You sit with him, I’m going to go check the place for bugs.”

“It’s a pretty cheap apartment in the middle of Queens. There’s no way there’s bugs! Well, at least not spy ones.” Ned rolled his eyes, looking a little less worried, comforted not by Michelle’s vigilance, but by the familiarity of her behaviour. He gently placed some noise cancelling headphones and a blanket from his backpack around Peter’s shoulders. Michelle surveyed the apartment, finding one master, two smaller bedrooms, a bathroom and a kitchen/living space. It was a gem of a find in New York City, and fulfilled all of her requirements on space, location, neighbors (MJ had already built files on everyone in the building), and security. After finding nothing more than an old ant trap, she returned to the main room, finding Peter starting to look less tense, and Ned curled over his laptop as he began to add furniture to the shopping list.

“Place is clean.” MJ signed, waiting until Peter let them know he was good for them to talk before reverting back to spoken language.

“Of course it was. Good to know though, come give me pointers on what furniture you want.” His signs, as always, had a dramatic flair to them. It was one of the things she loved about Ned. They bent their heads together, quietly arguing with their fingers and pointed glares over chair choices before Peter recovered enough to crawl over and help pick some out. In the end, they’d chosen about half of what they needed Ned delighted in ordering a big queen bed with Luke skywalker sheets, a wok and other cooking implements (MJ had given up on trying to cook, frustrated, especially when Ned revealed that he was a fantastic chef), and a big flatscreen with an Xbox. Michelle made him add a coffee table as well, affronted at his suggestion that they just ‘lean the TV against a wall or something’. Peter and MJ were less confident, both of them buying basic twin beds and thin mattresses, neither knowing exactly what they wanted in a bed. MJ ordered toiletries, snacks, masks, and yet more multivitamins, and picked stealthy clothes for herself while giving Ned the go ahead to go wild on the graphic tees, leading him to woop and delight and add a sketchbook and colored pencils for her in exchange. Peter got a bewildering collection of items, leaving MJ and Ned at a loss for words as they scan his receipt, which includes a box set of the third season of Seinfeld, a pet rock, earrings, and a lava lamp.

“ohh Kay Peter.” MJ said slowly. “You can get that, I guess. Not sure what all of that’s about, but we can always order everything else we need later.”

“Yep! And the stuff will be here within a few hours, thank you same-day shipping, so we can set it up by tonight.” Ned added.

When Ned got the text notification that their packages had arrived, they sent down Peter, sunglasses and headphones on, Ned and MJ flanking him, to get the boxes. He managed to pick everything up in a few trips, limited not by the weight but how many boxes he could fit through the elevator door at a time. As Peter enthusiastically put together the furniture MJ researched the surrounding area to find a highschool for them, only stopping to ask Peter what the instructions said, for him to reply, “What instructions? I’ve been kinda making it up as I go along.”

Peter finished the beds, placing Ned’s in the biggest room, and the others in the two smaller room. He left the tv in its box on the coffee table, and flopped down next to MJ on the couch.

“Done! Building furniture is pretty fun, but none of it can move or solve equations, so it’s pretty boring.” Peter yawned. “You find a school yet?”

“Yeah. Midtown School of Science and Technology.” MJ glared at her computer like she could somehow convince it to give her the results she wanted. “The application window has already closed, and I think we should start at late to make the cover story of a sudden move make more sense, so it’ll be pretty hard to get us enrolled- “

“I’m already in their files. For a Stem school, they got shit code.” Ned said, contentedly typing away from his position on the floor, his feet kicking in the air behind him.

“Oh, well, that’ll work. We can figure it out later. For now, we should get to bed. Been a long day.” The two boys nodded their assent, and the three of them crept into their new rooms.

The apartment was quiet, for a while. Not the quietness of sleep, for that is filled with creaks and slow breaths, but the harsh silence of unnatural stillness. In each room, not one of them sleeps. The first to relent was Michelle, her racing brain getting stuck constantly on the facts that - she had no knowledge of Peter or Ned’s condition in separate rooms, and that from her bed, she could not instantly be in a position to defend them. Her anxiety reached a boiling point, and MJ left the bed, resolving to just check on her friends, and then go to sleep.

“Can’t sleep either?” Ned said.

“Why do people sleep in beds? You can’t get good aim waking up on your side, and you leave yourself vulnerable to surprise. It’s stupid.” She crossed her arms with a huff, moodily toeing a floorboard.

“It’s weird, not being able to hear you or Peter breathing. For me, it’s not even so much the worry, although it is that too, but I got used to you guys being there and now I can’t sleep, with it being so quiet.” He said, looking up at the celing, also avoiding meeting her gaze. “I shared a room with my brother growing up, and all I wanted was to have my own room, and when I was in the cell, I dreamed about having my own space once again, but now that I’m here- I don’t know. I guess I just don’t want to be alone.”

Each feeling out of place in their strange new world, they were silent for a moment, until Peter blearily padded into the room.

“Can’t sleep.” He murmured. “M’ really tired, and I keep trying but, I get worried about you. And I remember the- the times before you guys, when it was just me in the dark, and I get scared. I- I reach out for you guys, and you’re not there and I think they’ve taken you, and that I’m alone again after the skylight slid shut, and I hated the dark even more than I hated the experiments sometimes. It-“

Peter broke himself off, trembling a little, and MJ felt her heart jackhammering in tune with his movements. The reminders of who Peter used to be- a little boy, alone and trapped, with no name and no story, never failed to unsettle her.

For once, it was not MJ with the brilliant plan.

“Why don’t you guys just move in here?” He ventured, and MJ and Peter’s heads both shot up to look at him. “Um, I can get a smaller bed and stuff so that your guy’s beds can fit in here…”

“Actually, I’d rather sleep in the recliner, in the corner, facing the door.” MJ blurted. Ned, like the fantastic friend he was, didn’t call her strange or laugh her off, just smiled and nodded in understanding and acceptance.

“And uh, I wanna sleep in a web hammock. My spinnerettes are never going to be back to normal, but they’re strong enough to hold my weight again, and I’ve always slept better when I’m high up.” Peter looked at the two of them with his eyes wide.

“Sounds perfect!” Ned clapped his hands together with a joviality that was only a little forced. “MJ can drag in the armchair, Peter can do his web thing, and I’ll take the bed.”

Ned flopped back into his bed, as MJ set herself up in the recliner and Peter began his web in the corner of the room.

This time, when they closed their eyes, their pulses slowed enough for all three of them to drift off to a deep sleep.

Notes:

how did you like the chapter? I hope the firefly sequence didn’t go on too long- it’s based off of the first time I saw fireflies, and it’s one of the first scenes I imagined for this fic.

about the ending, i really do think that mj/Ned/Peter would have developed a sort of unhealthy codependence after what they’ve been through. Everytime they didn’t see one another, it was a very real possibility that the person was being tortured or killed. even when they do recover physically and start having good experiences and getting out into the world, they’re still going to be affected by their experience. They all are going to be suffering from the effects of trauma/ptsd. MJ is hyper-vigilant and desperate for control. Peter has sensory issues from his powers, problems with connecting with people due to his isolation, and trauma that he won’t even talk about. Ned has PTSD from like, a whole number of things, and never got to properly mourn his family. It’s going to get better, but it’s also going to get worse. The way that they dealt and are dealing with their situation is by banding together, and I think that while it would be way worse if they didn’t have each other, there are some issues that may happen with how codependent they are, although I actually don’t think I’m going to make them lose any of that codependence here in this story lol.
I got diagnosed with PTSD last fall, and one of the things that strikes me about trauma, is that often it doesn’t start hitting you until months after the event, which is something I want to explore in this story. Again, these three’s experience w/ mental health is in no way supposed to be an accurate depiction of any mental disorder or any level of neurodivergence. I put in some aspects of my autism (peters sensory meltdowns and stimming) and my ptsd (hyper vigilance, irritability, panic attacks, and flashbacks), but I’m not trying to paint a full picture of either of these disorders, or even diagnose these versions of the characters with it.

Let me know what you think! your comments fuel me :)

Chapter 11: the grave/the cliff/the sea

Notes:

i know what you're thinking- but, gadzookz! you already put up a chapter today! shouldn't you post this later, so that you aren't rushed later? yes but i was really excited about this chapter, and it's actually my favorite one i've written.
We finally have the tony POV baybee!

This chapter is also maybe the most angsty one that i have written thus far, and I think the most sad one.

CW- mentioned child death, mention of brief suicidal ideation, alcoholism

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Like he had every August 8th, Tony Stark was drinking and thinking of a cliff in Malibu.

As he traced the crystal rim of his half-empty glass, hands three-drink shaky, he couldn’t help but stare into the amber and spiral. Pepper would tell him to call his therapist, but Pepper wasn’t here. No one was here, except for a man so empty he was barely a man.

There was a place in Malibu, atop a gentle slope that crumbled into cliffside, where a boy was buried. Grass swept flat by sea wind, the cry of gulls circling below, a headstone with no trademark Stark extravagance, just a name and two words. A little body, shrouded in white linen in a coffin that Tony thought was too small, a tin box at his feet with little light up shoes and toys.

Tony thought of that place often. If he stopped tinkering for even a second, he would start to hear the crash of waves below and feel eroded dirt under his feet, and so the last seven years had been a whirlwind of drinking, fucking, fighting, building, and desperately trying to keep himself together.

Fuck, it had been seven years. It occurred to Tony that his son had now been gone for longer than he had been here in the first place. He had to keep his lips clenched shut as bile floods his mouth.

He didn’t go back to the hill anymore. At first, he was there every day, tinkering, trying to talk like everyone encouraged him to do so, thought it would be easier if he could see the kid as resting, close to the sea he loved so much and at peace, but he couldn’t. His son was dead, dead, dead, and yet the gulls still cried and the world kept going even though it should have stopped. His house was gone now, anyway, destroyed by AIM and Tony’s own hubris- the grave only untouched because of how far from the house it was. Tony would not rebuild his house, but he knows with certainty that the grave is still on the hill, looking the same as it did for all those gray days where Tony sat by a child’s body and contemplated jumping off.

These past few years had been hellish. Afghanistan, Plutonium, AIM, New York, the Avengers, Ultron. He was ragged, a dog that was never quite able to lick all his wounds, never able to leave the ring. Pepper and he, never truly divorced, had broken up and gotten back together so many times, tearing open the wound again each time. In Sokovia, Wanda had gotten into his head and made him see his little boy again, dead, and even weeks out from it, he sees the body, his son die, every night. It was a long torture, a slow death. He doesn’t think he would ever forgive her for that.

He took another drink. He always drank the cheap stuff, in the hours between August 8th and August 10th. Whatever would burn the most as it went down. His phone lit up with Pepper’s call. He ignored it, and stared at nothing.

Tony hovered over Pepper’s name in his phone, his fingers itching with the urge to throw his phone at the wall and drink himself into a stupor instead of talking to the woman that was his wife. But she lost their son too, and he picked up when she called again.

They sat in silence on the line for a moment, a rarity for them, in their lives where every second was spent doing something, was worth millions. She sighed, her breath catching as she tried to figure out what to say. Tony decided to put her out of her misery.

“Hey, Pepper.”

“Hey. I just wanted to call and see how you’re doing,” she said, softly- so softly, like she was talking to a wild, injured animal. Tony’s temper flared at that tone, and he had to grind his teeth to keep himself from snapping at her.

“The same.” He forced out, trying for some of his typical careless air. “Rhodes put you up to this? Or that new therapist, whats-her-name, Melinda?”

“No, Tony, no one put me up to this. I wanted to call.”

“Really? You haven’t talked to me outside of Ms. Potts, CEO of Stark Industries, in months and you just want to call me?” He laughed, a little broken. The part of him wanted her to get mad at him, scream at him and make him feel anything other than this.

“I wanted you to know that I care about you, today.“ She said calmly, not rising to his bait. He should have seen that coming. She was the one most familiar with his brand of self-immolation. “And I’m not going to argue with you.”

“You’re just calling to make sure I’m not passed out in a pool of vomit. Well newsflash I have JAR-“ He caught himself, the air suddenly leaving his lungs. Another dead friend, another person Tony failed. “Friday. I have Friday for that.”

She was silent for a moment.

“And yes, I am drinking. There’s no fucking way I’m getting through this day sober.”

“Tony…”

“This conversation isn’t helping either of us. You need anything else, Potts? Want to yell at me about how I’m not done with the commercial use arc reactor prototypes or I skipped the last two board meetings. Want to scream at me about a disaster that was not entirely my fault but I have taken every single fucking drop of responsibility for, and yet no one else will step up to help me fix it? Well I’m fucking retired, Pepper, and I’m done with all of it!” He was breathing heavily, callused fingers going white around his Stark phone. She waited for his agitated breathing to slow down, not even deigning to answer his rant.

“It’s been seven years now. Feels like longer.” She said, her voice hollow. Tony closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair.

“Yeah. He’s been gone for longer than he was ever here.” His devastated words made Pepper sniff, and he felt worse, like he had twisted the white-hot knife that ran them both through.

“I miss him."

“Yeah.“ More silence.

“I um, was going to visit him, in Malibu today.” She rushed out, like a confession, like she was pleading for absolution. It was a tone he had almost never heard from her. “But I figured, that had always been your spot. I couldn’t- I couldn’t go back to that house. I looked through some of his things instead. His little shoes- they were even smaller than I remember…”

Her voice wobbled, and faded out. He knew how this works, they had been to enough different grief therapists, he was supposed to share his own story, talk about his own feelings. But he couldn’t. He did not know if it was because stark men are made of iron, or if he was really that much of a bastard, or if it was the alcohol, or if it was because if he talks, he might cry and never stop. So he didn’t say anything, and waited for his wife (in name only) to go on.

“I wish we still had his little rabbit.“ Her voice was tiny, another rarity for Pepper Potts. “I’ve given up hope of ever finding it, after the house was destroyed. If it was there, it’s gone now.” He closed his eyes, again picturing what she looked like. She was probably in the privacy of her home, the only place she would ever let herself cry. She must be sitting on the couch, phone on speaker, her freckled arms wrapped around her frame and holding herself, her eyes rimmed in red, her hair falling into her face.

“Pep…”

“Do you think he’ll get mad at me? That I stopped looking for it? He loved that damn rabbit, Tony. He’d be so upset that we lost it, DO you think he’ll blame me for giving up. I tried, I really did, I looked everywhere but- I couldn’t find it, and he’d be so sad and-. I just wish I could say I was sorry. Just wish I could tell J-“

“Don’t say his name. Please Pep, I- I can’t. I can’t” He cut off his wife, feeling his lungs constrict.

“He deserves to be remembered, Tony. Deserves to be talked about.” She was monotone again. Tony did not talk about his son, SHEILD, board members, the avengers, all knew not to bring it up. Even Thor, for all his lack of social graces, had never mentioned it. He thought one of them must have coached the god on that.

“I know, I know love, I do. I just- not today. I can’t today.” He was crying now, and sniffled once. She was silent, graciously not commenting on the ‘love’.

“Okay. I- um. I have to go, but-

“Yeah, Yeah, okay. I understand. Thanks for calling.”

“Tony-“

“Love you. Bye.“ He cut the call short, not having the energy to do their usual send off. The phone dropped from his hand, and again, all he can think about were those three days, two nights all those years ago. His son taken, he and Pepper not sleeping for a second, the hours where they still thought he would come home, hope crystalizing only to shatter, when on the kid’s sixth birthday, the cops carried out a little body, still warm and draped in a blanket that did not hide the blood blooming under the surface or the oddly-shaped scar on the small knee, from where he had tripped and fallen in the lab when he was four. His son, given to him and taken away on the same damned day. He used to worry that his kid would have to experience what he did, experience burying your parents at a young age and be left all alone in the world. But he knew now that this was worse- to bury a child.

He poured himself another glass. He did not have the strength to throw it at the wall like he might have in the past, when he was a few years younger, less beaten down, when he hadn’t seen this much death. He would have to get Friday to order more, there was still so long to go, in this yearly hell that had become more regular than holidays. It had been seven years, but it never got easier. There were no magic words, no fisher-king solution. Whenever he smelled seawater he wanted to vomit, and he ached with every breath. Tony hadn’t really left the hill since they buried him. His son was dead.

Tony found the energy to stagger to the window, and looked out over New York City, at the little spots of luminescent windows, each one a representation of a life. And, like he did almost every night, he looked out and imagined that somewhere out there, in one of those lights, his son, his baby, his little boy, was there, sitting in the warm glow of a New York City window, alive, safe, alive.

He imagined him alive, and it destroyed him every time.

Notes:

August 8th-
tony: going through agony thinking of his lost child
peter: mmm ice cream, dino nuggets, and vidya games :) no one is missing me

okay i think this will b the saddest chapter so you're free now! next one is high school shenanigans i think lol

Chapter 12: new stories and new starts

Notes:

hi! holy shit we reached 300 kudos, that is absolytely insane. thank you all <333

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

As he rode the rickety elevator up to their apartment, returning from his first excursion out alone into the streets, Peter decided that he loved New York. It was overwhelming, but his custom noise cancelling headphones and his wonderment at everything kept him sane. There were so many lights, colors, people- a hundred different languages shouted back and forth, murals and graffiti splashed onto brownstones. He had only spent two hours on his errand, but he knew he could have walked until dusk and still not felt satisfied.

He walked down the hall, forgetting exactly what number they lived in and tuning into the sound of his friend’s voices to find the apartment.

“..how are you not freaking out about this, Ned? He could be anywhere.” MJ was saying, animatedly arguing with Ned in the kitchen, who was wearing a Kiss the Cook apron and humming contentedly at the stove.

“I’m sure he’s fine. He left a note, and he’s capable. If he needs anything, he’ll call.” Ned said, raising a spoonful of whatever he was making to his lips. “Mm! I outdid myself on the adobo. Scooch, MJ, I gotta get the oil.”

“I know, I know,” Michelle begrudgingly moved aside as Ned rummaged in the packed cabinet with a gloved hand. He had taken to wearing one over his metal hand because when he had made Kare-kare the previous week, he got peanut sauce in the joints and it took Peter forever to fix it. “but I can’t relax until I know exactly where he is. What if he got scared about going to Midtown tomorrow? I mean Ned, what if-”

“Uppbuhbup! What does the sign say?” Ned raised an eyebrow and smacked a hand drawn paper on the wall with his wooden spoon.

“No catastrophizing in Ned’s kitchen.” MJ drawled with a practiced monotone.

“That’s right. MJ, He’ll be fine, he’s-“ Ned at that moment heard Peter struggle to pull his wagon through the doorframe. “Back! Peter! Hurry up! I’m making lumpia and MJ is stinking up the food with worry. Ow!”

MJ punched him in the shoulder, but noticeably relaxed a bit. Ned shook his head again, and returned to the filling, his metal hand carefully folding the thin wrapper. Peter bounced into the room, followed by the unfamiliar sound of squeaky wheels on the old tile.

“What’s with whatever you’re dragging?” MJ, currently investigating the pantry for a clean plate, called over her shoulder.

“It’s for you,” He said, and when MJ whipped around to look at him, he was looking at her- more wide eyed and sincere than she could bear. “I um- well, you gave me, us, so many stories. And I’ll never not be grateful for that. I guess I wanted to give you some stories back.”

He stepped aside, revealing behind him a little red wagon piled full of books. MJ couldn’t help but gasp as she raked her voracious eyes, seeing books that she had mentioned to Peter only once, and others she hadn’t told him about at all.

“I uh, wanted to get more, but I already had needed to buy this wagon from the antique shop next door, and I figure we could get more after we get you a bookshelf.” Peter looked sheepish, rubbing the back of his head, but MJ barely noticed as she took a tentative step forward. “Anyway, I hope you like it, I- MJ? You okay?”

She answered him by jumping into a hug, pressing her teary eyes into the safety of his neck. “I love it, Peter. Thank you.”

With her foot, she dragged Ned in to join them as he squawked, “Wait! The egg wash!”

They spent the rest of the evening devouring the lumpia, MJ laying in an impossible position on the couch as she devoured her third book, Peter and Ned working on a lego set on the floor as a movie played softly in the background.

Yeah, Peter loved New York.

***

“Welcome to Midtown High,” Morita said, with a bit of the nervous air that most people who find themselves under Michelle Jones’s glare experience.

They were crammed into the tiny office, Peter clutching his brand new backpack to his class. There wasn’t really enough time to prepare Peter for what school was like, so he just decided to remain quiet as possible and watch the first episode of Glee the night before. He really hoped that this high school wouldn’t have as much singing as that show.

“Alright, well, we’ve got all of your previous paperwork in the systems, reviewed the rulebook. Um- here are your schedules. You’ve got your first class together, with Mr. Harrington in classroom 43 B. If you need help finding something, don’t hesitate to ask.” He passed out their schedules, Peter shifting back and forth as he resolved to get Ned to help him make heads or tails of it once they were out. “And you kids picked a great first day- we’ve got an engineering expo in the multipurpose room later, with an extremely special secret guest.”

He attempted a wink, but was met with MJ’s unamused stare, Ned bouncing up and down looking over his classes, and Peter staring off into space.

“Thank you, Principal Morita.” MJ said as she stood, with her friends following her lead. “Your instructions are sufficient.”

And with MJ’s unquestionable last words, the three new students slipped out with Morita staring at them, his mouth slightly agape, in confusion. Peter shoved his schedule in Ned’s direction, but MJ held up her hand.


“Don’t worry, Peter, we’ll go over your schedule. But we shouldn’t be any more late to our next class- Morita put us behind with his inane drivel. Cmon, I saw the nameplate as we walked in.” MJ led them down a corridor, and within moments they were met with Mr. Harrison’s door. Peter found himself staring at the handle, trepidation rising in his gut. He wished he was walking into a gun fight, or a bomb-making lab. Those would be far easier to navigate than a public high school classroom.

“You got this, Peter. We’ll be with you the whole time.” Ned smiled at him, and then pushed the door open.

The three of them walked in, MJ’s steps confident and sharp, Ned’s bouncy with excitement, Peter’s as close to the wall as possible. A tired-looking bearded man that Peter guessed must be Mr. Harrington looked up from the chalkboard, and the murmur of a full classroom halted immediately.

“Ah! You must be our three new students.” Harrington said, gesturing for them to come up by his desk in the front. Peter felt his new classmates eyes glued to them as they shuffled past rows of desks. “Come on up here, and we’ll do introductions.”

MJ’s face has shifted into the expression Peter recognized from the firing range, her apprehension only visible to him through the years they had spent together and a slight tightness in between her shoulder blades. She had told him the night before that she didn’t know what to expect either- the last class she was in, most of the grades were based on coloring sheets.

“Introductions guys? I understand being shy, you can just do likes, dislikes, what ever you feel comfortable with.” Harrington prodded after they stood at the front of the classroom, at attention, unmoving and speechless, for a good thirty seconds.

“I am Michelle Jones. My likes and dislikes, as well as other details about me, are private, as none of them are relevant to my performance in this class.”

A few people snort, but immediately stopped when Michelle caught their eye. Peter shifted back and forth. What should he say? Even MJ hadn’t done the right thing, apparently, even though her statement was completely factual.

“Oooo-kay.” Harrington drew out. He nodded at Ned to continue.

“Hi! I’m Ned Leeds, nice to meet you all.” He gave the class a dazzling smile. “I like computers and legos.”

“Dude, really? Telling a bunch of high schoolers that you play with kids toys?” A kid in an expensive polo heckled from the front. Before the teacher or MJ could defend Ned, however, the kid’s scoff was met by grumbles.

“Flash, we go to a STEM school. Legos are cool as hell. Everybody knows that.” Someone in the back row retorted, her statement bolstered by several nodding heads. The kid, Flash, flushed red, clenched his jaw and said nothing more, and Peter couldn’t help but feel a bit better.

“And you?” The teacher’s voice broke Peter out of his reverie. He blinked in confusion, and MJ nudged him forward a bit. Oh, right, introductions.

“I’m S- Peter.” He blurted, catching MJ’s imperceptible flinch at his near-slip in the corner of his periphery. “Peter Parker.”

He clamped his mouth shut, feet frozen into the cheap tile. Everyone was staring at him, and he couldn’t tell what they were thinking, feeling. He didn’t know how to interact with high schoolers!

“And, anything to share with us, Mr. Parker? What classes did you take last semester?”

“Ummm,” Peter was sure he looked like a deer caught in the headlines as he frantically scanned through the HYDRA courses. He had a feeling that mentioning firearms or espionage might not be a good idea. “Military History? I did also lot of my, um, own reading. I really liked learning about monocyte-derived alveolar macrophages”

The class was staring at him, their eyes wide. Shit, that wasn’t the right choice. He wished he had practiced this, instead of watching Rachel and Finn’s growing connection last night. Peter hoped that if they were going to slushie him, they got it over with early.

“Who are you people?” Flash called again from the back. “You obviously aren’t related, but you’re all weird as hell.”

“Language, Flash.” Mr. Harrington objected, but the sentiment was watered down by the murmured agreement of the other teens.

“We were all homeschooled before we moved to New York.” MJ snapped. “We didn’t have the typical classroom experience, because we’re all in the same foster home.”

The class abruptly shut up at MJ’s masterful use of the “poor foster kid’ card, everyone but Flash looking mildly ashamed.

“Does anyone have any other questions?” Ned asked the room, still with his same cheerful tone.

Mr. Harrington wisely had them go to their seats.

***

Tony was leaving the tower for the first time in a month.

Say what you want about the Avengers, he mused, but at least they got me out and about.

Pepper had called him that morning for the first time since the night of August 10th, where, after receiving an alert from FRIDAY that Tony had a BAC of .3 and wasn’t waking up, she had screamed at him and cut him off.

“Mr. Stark.” She said, her voice clipped and polite through the speakers. Ah, so it was one of those calls.

“Miss Potts. What can I do for you?” He responded in kind, abandoning his wrench on his workbench.

“I’m calling to remind you that you’re giving the opening remarks at the STEM Symposium today.” He wiped off his oily hands with a rag, grimacing at the color, then exchanging it for a whiskey.

“The what now?”

“STEM Symposium. An event kicking off the new Stark Scholarships for gifted students? On the calendars for months, being broadcasted online and on TV?” He could hear the exasperation building behind her perfectly manicured calm. Good. It was far too clean this morning.

“Not going. I’m not dealing with the brats. I’m the mechanic, Potts, not the show pony.” He tipped his head back, swallowing a generous gulp.

“Tony Stark, not a show pony? Don’t make me laugh. And yes, you are going. We need to show people we’re serious about this, invested, and that isn’t going to happen without you giving the speech.” Pepper was resolute, and as he started to make a noise of protest, she cut him off again. “Tony, we need all the good press we can get. Like it or not, SI right now is synonymous with Sokovia.”

He set down his glass with an audible thunk, and ground his teeth, just a bit. It’s too damn early for this. He didn’t know how to tell her, that he couldn’t walk into schools because his heart ached looking at places and and people that could have been, should have been, James’s. His fingernails dug into his palms as he struggled to ground himself.

“Go this year, and you won’t have to go in the next couple years.”

Next years. That’s right, James was too young to be in high school just yet. At least there was a reason other than he’s dead for his son to not be there. He could do it, just this once, step and look at the bright faces and make himself not look for a face long gone among them.

“Fine. But you owe me.”

“Thank you.” She sounded sincere. He wondered if his wife understood just what she was asking him to do. ”Will that be all, Mr. Stark?”

“That will be all, Miss Potts.”

The speech went well. Tony had become a master of slightly-buzzed, impromptu public speaking. It was his art at this point.

He had ducked out as soon as possible, disappearing before the applause had even died out. He couldn’t deal with kids looking up at him and calling him their hero today. Not with the last 13 years like lead in his bones. Plus, Pepper told him to give the speech, smile for a photo, and he did it. No way was he hanging out in a sweaty gymnasium to watch laughably lesser scientists talk for hours.

Tony found himself lingering, wandering through the empty halls and glancing into open classrooms. He had meant to leave straight away, but there was something so alien about an empty high school, so strange with no one in it, that he felt drawn to keep going. He hadn’t been in a public high school in years, and this liminal version of one might be the only way he could take being in one. Empty felt appropriate. Empty was how everything had been for over a decade.

Tony chose a classroom at random and silently walked in, running an eye over the primitive 3d printer in the corner. He was just about to investigate the scattered robotics projects when Tony saw him. There was a kid, crouched under a desk, head bent over some sort of project.

“Oh!” The kid looked up at him with a start, and Tony’s chest ached for a second. Like he did whenever he saw a boy with big brown eyes and chestnut hair, he wondered if this was what James would have looked like. And damn, had high schoolers always been this small? He pushed his grief down, readying himself for this kid to recognize him and freak out as only a teenager could do. “Am I not supposed to be in here?”

“What?” Tony forced himself to look in the large brown eyes he had been avoiding. He was suddenly struck by the fact that this was the first person he had come across in decades that didn’t have recognition of one sort or another in their eyes. “How should I know?”

“Aren’t you a teacher?” The kid cocked his head, like a puppy. Tony almost did a spit take.

“No, I’m not a teacher! Jeez, kid.”

“Oh, well I’m Peter!” the boy offered with a smile. Tony uses all his years of dealing with the papperazi hiding his small flinch at the name. At least it wasn’t James.

“I’m Tony, Tony Stark.”

Now he’ll get it, Tony figured, and waited for the recognition to bloom in Peter’s eyes. But it didn’t. Had he found the one person on Earth that didn’t know his name, in a science and technology school no less? He had even seen a large photo of him on the wall of two separate classrooms he passed.

“Nice to meet you! Sorry that I thought you were a teacher, it’s my first day of school.”

“No worries kid.” Tony feigned casualness, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Why did Peter make him so nervous? He’s older, he reminded himself, he’s older than James is- would be- fuck. “Why aren’t you at the big Symposium?”

“Meh.” Peter shrugged, staring intently at his project. “I don’t like crowds too much. Plus, my friend MJ will remember it.”

“I was in there for an hour, and there’s at least two hours left.” Tony pointed out, feeling the extremely rare obligation to encourage responsibility. He hoped Pepper never found out about it. “She’ll miss some things, and you’re currently missing everything.”

“She has a really good memory.” He said, in that utterly sincere way some kids have, not even looking up.

“So what are you working on?” Tony stepped a bit closer to peer at the kid’s thing.


“It’s just a prototype, but I was so excited to get started with the robotics lab here!” The kid’s face lit up, and Tony wanted to coo at his exuberance for science. Maybe the scholarship idea wasn’t a bad one. Then again, his wife’s ideas never were. “So what I’m trying to make is…”

Tony let the kid’s rambling wash over him, his eyebrow rising in surprise with each new sentence. The kid was smart, genius level, and Tony found himself losing track of time as he gave bits of advice and watched Peter’s progress. It was nice, working with someone who didn’t know who he was, focusing on the math and engineering of it all. They lapsed into a comfortable silence as Peter delicately arranged the wires and Tony fiddled some scrap into a trebuchet.

“Wait! I do your name!” Peter said suddenly, shooting up from the ground with a speed that makes Tony’s old knees wince. Here comes the recognition. It was fun, while it lasted. “I’m so stupid. Dr. Anthony Stark,”

“Kinda formal kid, but yeah-“

“Your 1997 paper on nanorods and hybrid plasmon lasers used in conjunction with arc reactor construction was one of my favorites for years!”

“You,” Tony Stark was not often lost for words, but Peter had managed to do it multiple times in less than an hour. Recognizing him for his less flashy contributions to science and nothing else? God, this kid was weird. Tony had been quite proud of that paper, however, and part of him glowed a bit at the praise. “You read it, and understood it?”

“Well, yeah.” The kid tilted his head again, like he didn’t get why it was odd for him to understand post-graduate level scientific journals. “I liked the jokes you hid in it too.”

Tony’s eyebrow skyrocketed again. The kid had found the quip he hid in one of the proposed equations? His phone buzzed. Shit, he had a meeting with the UN about the Accords in thirty. He still wasn’t used to not being able to take a suit to the next item on his schedule.

“I gotta go, but I’m gonna give you my number, kid. You need some advice, or want to talk shop, you can text.” Tony scribbled down his number on a sheet of paper and gave it to the wide-eyed boy, before his brain could catch up with his words and interrogate his behavior. Self reflection was to be avoided at all costs. Pepper would tell him that he was projecting onto the kid, like she had with Harley, but Pepper wasn’t here. He had accepted that James wasn’t anywhere, not in his friends, not in similar kids- he knew better than anyone that his son was gone. “Don’t give it to anybody, but here ya go.”

“Wow! Thank you, Dr. Stark!”

“Too formal, kid. Call me Tony.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark!”

“Okay, I guess that’s a little bit better. I give up.” He turned to the door, suddenly unable to face warm brown eyes anymore. Not James, he reminded himself. Not James. James is on a hill across the country, forever almost six. He wished that he could pretend for even a moment that Peter was James, but Tony was a man of science, and he didn’t believe in ghosts. He had seen the casket close over freckled cheeks. Tony raised a casual hand in farewell as he strode out of the classroom.

“See ya, kid.”

“Bye! Nice to meet you, Mr. Stark!”

Notes:

scientific mumbo jumbo is one thing i cannot write so please excuse me skipping over peter's project lol.

was anyone surprised that tony and peter met this quickly? it was actually goign to be far later, but i got impatient.

Chapter 13: the talk of the (mid)town

Notes:

This chapter is a bit silly, and not in my usual style, so I'd love to hear what you think. It's not angst, so I'm kinda shocked at myself

Chapter Text

Betty Brant did not know what to think of Midtown’s three newest students.

Ned Leeds, Peter Parker, Michelle Jones. The talk of the whole school since they had shown up in September. Her peers may share her curiosity, awe, jealousy, confusion, but she seemed to be the only one who was suspicious of the three non-related kids who came out of the blue with a paper-thin story and extremely odd behavior. But no, when she brought it up in concern to Cindy, all she got for her trouble was a rolled eye, ‘you’re so paranoid, Betty,’ and a suggestion that they were just raised very religious, like those Mormons from the TLC documentary they’d watched at a sleepover last week. Well, technically Flash Thompson also shared her suspicion, but she was pretty sure that was because he was a jerk and wanted a reason to pick on Peter.

Whatever. She’s sure that people thought Woodward and Bernstein were crazy when they first started investigating Watergate. She wanted to be—was a journalist, and would get to the bottom of this.

Also, this was a far better story than whether or not Jackson’s mouth sores were aggressive acne, actual herpes, or from eating too many sour warheads.

Betty gathered her trusty flip up notebook she had gotten for Christmas, a gel pen, and got to sleuthing, before immediately putting down her stationary to hunch over her laptop, because that was where most investigating was done these days. The results were sickenly normal. She found foster care paperwork filed for all three of them- apparently entered into the system years ago. Shit, that checked out. She had hoped that it would have all been created six months ago, like CIA spies in the Cold War or something. No social media or other online presence at all for any of them, however. The closest thing to Leeds (Ha! Leads on Leeds!) she found was an article in a small town newspaper about some kids named Edward and Sam who died years ago with their parents in a deadly car accident.(Not as funny as her Leeds/Leads joke)

Exhausting the internet route, she decided to compile her notes from her observation of them.

Ned seemed the most normal, which wasn’t saying much.

He was bubbly and kind, and did most of the talking for his little group. She had never seen a more talented programmer- that kid breathed code. He shut down if anyone tried to ask him about his family, but other than that, he was open. Ned did display a concerning knowledge of information on how to commit crimes- both cyber and real life- and a casualness when discussing how he would hypothetically hack into global corporations that Betty had a sneaking suspicion that maybe he had before. Once she intercepted a note Ned was passing to Michelle, but when she opened it, It looked like it had been encrypted with a cipher. When she asked him about it, Ned sheepishly admitted that he was just having some fun with cryptography. Trying something out doesn’t mean encoding something without a book, decoder, or written algorithm (what, so she knows a little about cryptography- she had to keep her notes safe from her little brother, but she ended up going with a lock on her door instead), but okay Ned. Ned might ramble about Star Wars, and wasn’t weirdly muscular like his friends, but one only had to look at his hand to know he wasn’t exactly normal. The kid had a metal hand- not only that, but it was far more advanced than any prosthetic she had ever seen, in person and on livestreams of tech expos. She often found herself wondering how a foster kid in rural Nevada could get his hands on tech like that.

What little questions she had been able to ask (she would never ask any of them with MJ around, that girl could see right through her, and the trio was almost always attached at the hip), she had asked Ned. She’d never really gotten a satisfactory answer. Ned had a way of talking around a question, leaving you walking away 20 minutes later with a smile, and it was only when you turned the corner did you realize he never really told you anything. The only time his circuitous rambling failed him was when she asked what happened to his hand. He blanched, eyes widening in a display of discomfort that she had never seen from him. What was worse, Peter and Ned spoke at the exact same time, and gave two different answers.

“Farming incident.” Ned snapped.

“Shark took it.” Peter blurted, reddening further when Betty stared at him with her practiced ‘go on’ stare, ignoring Ned’s skyward glance. “Uh, Ned has a shark enemy, like that ship captain and the whale in that book with the penises and metaphors and stuff. ‘Cept, Ned’s isn’t a metaphor. Shark just hates him. Had a blood feud with his parents. We had to move from Nevada so that the shark wouldn’t find us.”

Yeah, Peter was definently the oddest person she had ever met.

Her first impressions of him weren’t anything to write home about. He was small and built like a twig and nervous, and her first thought was “man, Flash is gonna eat that kid alive, and you’re fooling no one with the fancy science words. We’re at Midtown, we’re all smart.” But she was wrong. Peter was smart like nothing she had seen before, and she’d been in advanced programs her whole life. It only took a few glances into his notebooks, which were filled with equations she couldn’t begin to comprehend, watching him build a working machine in minutes with scraps, and listening to him correcting their calculus teacher.

He might know his way around an engineering textbook, but the kid was hopeless with people. He didn’t understand the most basic of social cues, or any pop culture references. It was insane, and for a while, one of her theories (just below ‘they’re aliens’) was that he had been raised in like, a cult compound or something. Peter did not talk much, and when he did it was usually just to Ned and Michelle in some foreign language. After eavesdropping at a few lunches, she had heard them using French, Russian, ASL- but the one they used the most was Tagalog. It took her so long to identify, and she now cursed the fact that she had gotten into that fight with Rebecca Santos at her pool party in 8th grade. That was her only contact that could speak any Tagolog, and she had burned that bridge by revealing to everyone that Rebecca had been dating two separate, taken men. It wasn’t worth it. No, wait, it was her best scoop at the time and the look on Rebecca’s face as Addison chucked a capri-sun (not as dramatic as a champagne glass, but it still worked) at her was legendary.

Peter also- well, sometimes he seemed sad. The three of them all did, but Peter especially. He would often get lost somewhere, his face melting like candlewax until it reformed into a porcelain mask that scared Betty for some reason, and he would just stare into the distance, his frame ram-rod still, marred by the occasional tremor. Ned would notice and would drag him out of it most times, but it still freaked her out, and she wondered what had happened for him to look like that. Peter also didn’t like to be touched. One kid, a pimply faced junior on the football team, who tried to sling his arm around Peter, presumably to try to threaten him or something, learned that the hard way. She hadn’t seen what happened- only that one second the boy’s hand was on Peter’s shoulder, and the next he was on the ground, clutching his wrist and howling in pain, and Peter was sprinting out, a concerned Michelle following him. Ned and Michelle were really the only people Peter let touch him.

Michelle was so goddamn intimidating.

Betty was pretty sure even some of the teachers were scared of the girl, which honestly, she could understand why. Getting even a brief exposure to her “don’t fuck with me” glare was like being dunked into a bucket of ice water. Michelle- not MJ to you- had the others’ unique brand of “absurd genius paired with almost no social skills”. She always had a book in her hands, and flipped the pages at a speed that made Betty’s head spin. Michelle didn’t know who Ariana Grande was, but once she listed the most effective ways to kill someone with only the items found in a hotel room.

But the scariest interaction Betty had with Michelle wasn’t when she witnessed her somehow remove a frog’s spleen, fully intact, with her fingernails in Bio, but in the decathlon meeting a week after the trio’s arrival. Michelle swept in like a whirlwind, flanked closely by Peter and Ned behind her, like a little entourage. Harrison made a meek little effort to say that the team was already set and that they could try next year, but MJ raised her eye brow at him, and he was changing his tune faster than her lips could form the word ‘foster’.

It was then that Betty realized that MJ had to be an alien or something. She knew the answer to every. single. question. For the literature questions, she could get each quote verbatim, for history she knew down to the barest minutia, and for science and math, she could do the equations in her head (though not quite as quickly as Peter). The meeting quickly devolved from regular practice into all of them trying to catch MJ off guard. They come through the decathlon practice books, scanned obscure Wikipedia articles- nothing worked. The lunch bell rang, and she had defeated all of them.

“Dude, how long have you been training for decathlon?” Abe moaned from his position on the floor, surrounded by the bodies of his unsuccessful quiz books.

“About 24 minutes. To tell you the truth, I didn’t really know what decathlon was until I walked in,” Michelle shrugged as she began to make her way out with Peter and Ned. “This was just the only extracurricular we all wanted to do.”

Betty wished she had a camera to take a photo of all of her classmates’ faces.

She looked over her notebook, and groaned, putting her head in her hands. She had nothing, and they were still a mystery. Betty mused over her next steps, contemplating several riskier, perhaps illegal, tactics that could net her the information she desired.

This was so frustrating, Betty knew there was something not right, but then again-

Ned was pretty cute, Peter seemed to be doing better the more time he spent here, and MJ gave them the best shot of going to nationals for decathalon.

Betty, for the first time in her life, decided that some things just weren’t worth looking into, finding out.

She shut her laptop with a sigh, and went back to her flash cards.

Chapter 14: larb

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The scruffy cat purred as it weaved its way through Peter’s legs, rubbing its cheek on the calf of his jeans. He bent down to scratch behind its one remaining ear, before busying himself investigating the dented soup cans on the bottom shelf.

Number 38- pet a cat, and number 297- visit a bodega could now both be crossed off the list.

It had been a busy couple of weeks, but Peter had never felt happier. He was starting to get the hang of school, even though he didn’t understand half of what they were talking about (binge watching Glee could only get him so far). He was healthier, moving through the list, gaining weight, and learning more about the world around him. Occasionally he texted back and forth with Dr. Stark, and the man remained one of the only things that he didn’t tell Ned or MJ about- for some reason, he just wanted to keep the scientist to himself.

So of course, like everything else in Peter’s short life, that’s when everything went to shit.

The little bell rang as someone walked in, and Peter froze in his crouch, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. The whole shop had gone silent. He rose, and turned. A man in a ski-mask, nothing visible but grey eyes and sneering thin lips, loitered at the entrance, a semi-automatic handgun by his right side. Oh, a robbery.

Peter stood in the middle of the aisle, frozen stiff, a can of tomato soup dropping to the floor from his stiff fingers and the bodega cat hiding behind his legs with a raised scruff. At the sound of the can denting on the old tile, the thief turns from the cashier, turning his gun onto Peter.

SIG SAUER P365. Definently stolen. Stance is sloppy, but he has the confidence of someone who’s done this before. He has another clip in his left pocket, Peter found himself analyzing. His hands aren’t shaking. They aren’t shaking, and at this range, he could easily get a kill shot on anyone here. He could kill me. His hands aren’t shaking.

He sized up the thief, eleven different ways of disarming him coming to him as easily as breathing. But he couldn’t reveal himself. It could get back to HYDRA, MJ and Ned could be hurt and killed, he would have to be around Wescott again, they could put him back into the dark place- He was frozen. For a moment, he was in that storage closet again, listening to Ben’s weakening breaths, his small body pressed up against a corpse, everything smelling of copper and piss and iron and formaldehyde and blood.

His ‘space-out’ (as MJ called them) lasted long enough for everything to get worse. The man took a step forward, leering at Peter with an expression that reminded him of- no, Peter, stay focused.

“Hey, you, skinny kid.” The guy’s light tone made Peter more worried. Any motives other than money or a specific target made an enemy unpredicatable, more dangerous. “That’s a nice phone you got there.”

Peter found himself glancing down. He hadn’t even thought about his phone. He couldn’t give it over though- Dr. Stark had entrusted him with his phone number. Before he could open his mouth to respond, a woman with long brown hair and a fierce expression stepped forward.

“Look, buddy. Leave the kid alone. Take the money in the cash and skedaddle.” She crossed her arms, and Peter’s chest couldn’t help but fill with warmth when looking at her. The woman was fearless and beautiful and brave and a little bit scary if he was being perfectly honest. She reminded him a little of MJ. She shifted to stand in front of Peter, in front of the man with the gun and that’s when Peter truly started to freak out. He wanted to scream at her, tell her to run and go away, that the guy would shoot her without hesitation, that he wasn’t worth it. But he couldn’t risk startling the thief.

“Move.” The man intoned, his voice turning to gunmetal. Peter’s vision was kalidoscoping, his vision fixed on the barrel of the sig, his mind filled with fractured images of jackboots, agents, blood, the lab, scalpels, blood, and guns and gunshots and gun wounds and death.

“He’s just a kid. He’ll hand over his stuff, just put down the gun. He’s just-“ She did not finish her sentence.

Peter realized for the first time that his hearing had gotten better with his improved diet when he listened to the sound of a bullet shattering a rib bone and tearing through an inch of lung tissue.

There was a dim throb in his thigh- the bullet had gone straight through and at least part of the projectile must have gotten imbedded in his leg. The sirens were getting closer, and the man dashed out with a curse, but Peter wasn’t paying attention to anything but the slumping body of the woman who had stood in front of him. He ignored basic HYDRA mission procedure (first priority was always eliminate assailants) and moved faster than he ever had before to catch her.

It was just like when Ben died. It was nothing like when Ben died.

He laid her down gently, finding the entry wound and putting as much pressure on it as he dared. It was bad, it was so bad, and Peter shoved everything he knew about how fatal this wound was to the back of his mind.

“You’re okay, you’re okay.” He gasped out, trying to channel some of Ned’s calming energy. “The cops are coming, you’re going to be okay, ma’am.”

“Ha.” The woman chuckled out, and with the exhale, red blood spotted her lips and white teeth. “What a- polite young man. What’s your name?”

“Peter. Peter Parker. Don’t talk too much, please. Don’t strain yourself.”

“Parker, huh? That’s” She coughed again, but she still had that strange smile on her face. “That’s funny. Wonder if we’re related. I’m May.”

“Hi May, It’s very nice to meet you. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey, don’t be sorry kid. And don’t cry.” May scolded. Peter was crying? He hadn’t noticed. “Not your fault. Regret is for old people, like me.”

“You’re not old! You look super young.” Peter found himself saying. She laughed again, and pinched his cheek in a motherly gesture that made Peter feel like he was the one who had been shot in the chest.

“A real charmer, you. I wish I had a kid as polite as you.” Her smile looked a little more sad, and Peter grew more desperate. “Hasn’t been in the cards for years. I’m glad- I’m glad I’m not- alone right now, though.”

“I’m right here. I’m right here with you May. Stay with me, okay? We’re okay.” His mind was spinning, trying to figure out what to say like it would somehow keep her here longer. God, what had he even been doing before this? Picking up Thai food for MJ and Ned- “Do you like Thai food?”

“I larb Thai food.” Peter could hear her pulse starting to weaken, and he was more terrified than he had ever been.

“I’ll take you out to Thai then, we were going to get it tonight but I’ll wait for you. But you have to stay awake, okay, you have to- Someone, I need an ambulance, please!” Peter’s voice cracked, spinning his head wildly around, before his attention was snapped back to the body in front of him when May’s breath started to hiss.

“I- larb-“ May’s eyes were unfocused, confusion, hazy like a cataract, blossoming in them.

“May? May? Please stay awake. Just- Just wake up and talk to me please. May!”

Her heart stopped, and Peter had never hated himself more than this moment. He was not sure how long he sat there, sobbing over the form of a woman he barely knew, his hands numbed from keeping pressure to her wound even after he knew it was too late.

Some of the blood on him had already dried by the time the paramedics arrived. He couldn’t hear them, didn’t know what they were saying, too focused on the red marring May’s orange tank top. They were pulling him away, and he couldn’t find the energy to move his limbs. Peter wanted to stay with her, he wanted to sit by her side and make sure she wasn’t alone and tell her about Thai food and his friends and school and- but one of them tried to lay him on a gurney and he could not go to a hospital, with its white walls and lap coats and sharp metal, not now, not ever, especially with May’s blood still drying under his nails.

He ducked down an alley when the EMT’s back was turned, and somehow made his way back to the apartment, sticking to the shadows. He wasn’t sure if anyone saw him- it was like one second he ran from the ambulance, and the next he was stepping through the door frame of the apartment.

He didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. He was pretty sure Ned and MJ were saying something to him, but none of what they were saying made sense. He was too focused on a stain in the carpet, his vision tunneling into one point.

MJ touched him. He started to shake.

“Not my blood.” He managed to gasp out, attempting some sort of mission report. “At least most of it. 9mm round in left thigh. Not a problem. It’s not my blood.”

MJ nodded, her eyes wild and searching, trembling in resonance with Peter. Peter watched Ned say something to her quietly, and MJ went and grabbed the med kit and towels.

“I’m sorry, I- I can’t” she said, before disappearing. Retching could be heard from the bathroom by the time that Ned started to work on Peter.

Peter’s attention flickered in and out as his friend methodically worked. In one second he could feel everything- the rasp of the wet washcloth on his skin, the blood bubbling out of his wound, and in the next second he was so far away, so out of body that he thought he might never found his way back. He wasn’t sure when or where he was- visions and details of May’s death and Ben’s death mixing together, the hurt compounded by duplicity. When he dazed off too long, Ned brought him back by singing the lines of the Italian lullaby softly.

Ned pulled the bullet out and made to throw it away, before Peter initiated his first physical contact of the night by grabbing his wrist.

“No. I want to keep it. As a reminder.”

Ned looked at him, with those unwaveringly understanding eyes. His head tilted a little, in an expression Peter recognized as his I-don’t-agree-with-that/that’s-not-healthy-but-i’ll-let-it-go-for-now face. The bullet dropped into a little Altoid tin with a clink. Ned pulled a blanket around Peter’s shoulders, and then fluidly crossed the room to stand next to the bathroom wall.

Done. No more blood. Come whenever feel comfortable.’ He tapped out in morse code to MJ.

She slunk out within a few minutes, and they all sat in silence in the living room. Peter was huddled into the couch, his eyes unseeing. MJ, her face wan and drawn, perched on a kitchen counter. Ned glanced back and forth between them both, shifting uneasily in his comfy arm chair.

“She got shot. It was like Ben, but worse, I guess because I’ve already seen what happened and I couldn’t stop seeing him there too.” Peter began suddenly. Someone inhaled sharply. “I was in the bodega. A guy came in. Sig Sauer P365. Registration numbers were scratched off. I didn’t know what to do. I could have- I could have taken him out, but it was it was-“

He took several deep shuddering breaths. Ned scooted closer to him and MJ leaned in.

“It’s okay, Peter, we understand.” Ned said, gentle, too gentle.

“We were in the bodega. He pointed the gun at me, and I freaked out. I spaced out, yknow, and for a second I was back in the Lab, Ben was dying, dead, and they were hurting me and I was back there.” MJ was shaking, staring at the ground in a manner very similar to Peter’s. “This woman- her name is-was- May, she stepped in front of me. I have no idea why. She tried to get him to back off, but he shot her, point blank, and I could hear the bullet killing her. I- I we talked. She pinched my cheek. She had a nice smile. Her name was May and we were going to get larb. She’s dead.”

No one said anything.

“I tried so hard, I put pressure on her wound, I did everything. About a minute after her heart stopped, I think I broke another rib with how hard I was keeping pressure. She just wouldn’t stop bleeding. They tried to take me away, and I left her alone. She didn’t want to be left alone but I left her there, on the floor of the bodega, bleeding.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Peter.” MJ was speaking in a monotone that while sincere, betrayed none of her true emotions. It was the only way she could really talk about stuff like this. “You had no choice. Even if you did attack him, he could have shot more people trying to hit you. The fault is on the person who ordered the shot, and the person who pulled the trigger. You know this. And May was already gone when you left. She had been gone. She wasn’t alone when she went away.”

“It was still my fault. I have this power to do something, and I didn’t do anything with it. Her blood, her blood is on my hands,” Anguish began to creep into Peter’s voice, and he stared at a fleck of red-brown on the half-moon cuticle of his index finger. “It was my responsibility, and she’s dead because I was too much of a coward. I could have stopped him from pulling the trigger.”

“You’re wrong, both logically and on an emotional level, but I am too emotionally compromised to debate this with you right now.” MJ said, wrapping her arms around herself. Her voice was low, haunted. “When it comes to pulling triggers, I can’t make judgement calls.”

Peter winced in reminder of the Doctor’s headshot, a vision of a fleck of scalp landing on Michelle’s cheekbone flashing on the back of his eyelids. Silence fell again, and Ned got up to make everyone Mexican hot chocolates, which Peter and MJ held for warmth, but did not have the stomach to touch otherwise.

“I want to do something.” Peter started, when his tears had dried like old blood on his cheeks. “I want to use my powers to help people, like that Daredevil guy you were telling me about, Ned. Beat up the bad guys, save people. Are you guys in?”

“I can’t,” MJ said, after a long moment. “I’m sorry, Peter, but I can’t. I’m- I’m still fucked up from shooting the doctor. I don’t regret it, but I can never pick up a gun again.

“You wouldn’t have to use a gun-“

“No, I wouldn’t. But I can’t be a weapon, I can’t let myself fall into how easy it would be for me to use violence for all the problems in the world. I would never stop. I would become something… I can’t go into battle. You’re different, Peter, you’re good, and I know you can do good. I’m too fucked up. You know about the nightmares. I never want to be in a fight again. I don’t wanna be the person they made me into, and if I have to stare down another man with a weapon, I will become that person.”

“Okay.” He gave her a sad smile. While he wanted her at his side, he understood, and was proud of her. “Thanks, MJ.”

“Peter… I think it’s a super cool idea, you’d be like, an Avenger, man!” Ned attempted some of the lightness that had been absent all night, before staring down at the joints in his metal hand. “But I can’t be out there either. No guns for me, and if I let another kid like Sam die in front of me- point is, my strength isn’t even In field stuff. I’ll be right up here, your back up, your guy in the chair!”

Ned was smiling at him, albeit a little nervously. MJ’s shoulders lost some of their tension upon hearing that Ned would be looking after Peter.


“I’ll consult, I guess. You couldn’t afford me normally, but I’ll give you a discount. I can plan routes, research the heavy hitters in the city, help you design your gear. You’ll obviously need a mask, and…” MJ trailed off as she ran different plans and schemes in her head.

“That sounds great.” Peter gave each one a hug, hoping that the squeeze of his arms could convey the thousands of emotions he had towards them. “Thank you guys.”

“OO! OO! You need a name! A persona!” Ned bounced up and down on the couch in excitement. “Hmm, Iron Man, Captain America, Daredevil. What kinda name… Justice Boy!”

“Absolutely not.” MJ vetoed, but Ned’s enthusiasm was not undeterred.

“Uhhh, what’s your ‘thing’ gonna be then, Peter? We have to tie the name to that.”

“Well, I figured to get around I could synthesize a compound similar to my original spinnerets to swing my way around the skyscrapers.”

“Oh that’s so cool! Uhh, Hangman! Elasta-Legend! White Knight!”

“No, no, and hell no.” MJ drawled. Ned threw a cushion at her.

Peter drummed his fingers on the couch, before an idea hit him.

“What do you guys think about Spider-Man?”

Notes:

yeah so i killed both may and ben in front of peter in a shooting, bc im mean and gross.

I read the transcript for mays death in no way home (still haven’t watched it yet lol) for inspirations and to make allusions to, so if some of the lines seem familiar that’s why.

a lot of this chapter is based on my personal experience with trauma. two tramatic events that had eerily similar details to eachother happened within a year, and it really threw me for a loop and made the whole thing worse.

I wanted to explore different reactions to trauma as well. Peter can separate himself from it to a functionable extent with a mask, but MJ knows that while she could push everything down and be skilled, it would hurt her in the long run. Ned can compartmentalize, interact with danger behind the safety of a screen, but knows that being in the thick of it would also be bad for him.

thanks so much for sticking with the story, and I hope you have a great day! that's my birthday demand for you all.

Chapter 15: stark men

Notes:

u guys…. You are not gonna believe this…. But I have yet another chapter for y’all. 3 chapters in like three days I am going ape shit

Thank you for all the birthday wishes!! :))

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The Spider-Man suit felt like Peter’s second skin at this point. It was a far cry from the Kevlar monstrosity that MJ had put together for him. He switched to a thrift store sweatsuit pretty quickly, because he could barely waddle in the army surplus store body armour, let alone swing. The goggles and his web shooters were good too, albeit far more rudimentary than he would like, but now he’s working out of a highschool lab, not a secret agency one. What he wouldn’t give for some quality metals, a fabricator, and some gold plated circuit boards.

Peter loved being Spider-Man. With each new person he saved, the guilt of his time at HYDRA sloughed off him like dirt in a rainstorm. He got to explore New York, interact with people in bite size, manageable doses, be behind a mask. No, he wasn’t a big deal like that Avengers group Ned was always rambling about, but he protected Queens, and that was enough for him. Plus, he was starting to get recognized, and there was even a Spidey Watch Twitter that had a rather impressive following (Peter was touched, even though their most popular post was a video of him swinging right into a lamp post).

The feeling of pure, unadulterated freedom was his favorite part. He could chose where he went next, save lives instead of ending them, sit on a roof tops and be visible to no one. The best part was the moment he jumped, and swung. Flying through the air, weightless, relying on his own engineering and calculations to keep him aloft, freer than anyone confined to the streets below.

He was mid swing when he got the text from Mister Stark.

Kid- my CEO says I have to get an intern. You in? Opportunity of a lifetime.

Attached to the message was some paper work, but Peter was too taken aback to look through it now. It would be better to go over it with Ned and MJ anyway. Putting his phone away, he was home in a few anxious swings.

He peered in to the apartment, unlatching the kitchen window. MJ was throwing knives into the wall lazily while she read a Dostoevsky novel. She didn’t like violence, but she did like keeping her skills in top shape. Ned was playing some video game and eating cheese puffs, the bag of which he half spilled with a curse when Peter somersaulted in through the window.

“Jesus, Peter, what have we said about doors?“ Ned groaned.


“Use them?”

“Yes!” He then looked mournfully at his snack. “My poor cheesy puffs.”

“Forget about your cheesy puffs-“ Peter began.

“Never!” Ned cut him off with an exaggerated gasp, mock offense on his face and his hand splayed across his chest.

“Forget about your cheesy puffs,” Peter continued, ignoring his friend’s theatrics. “I need your advice. I got offered an internship by this scientist I met, and I’m wondering whether or not I should take it.”

“Where did you meet this scientist?” MJ ignored both of them for the most part, used to their shenanigans. She turned the page of her book, and threw another knife without looking up, this one thudding into the drywall right next to the one before it. Yikes, there was no way they were getting their security deposit back.

“Midtown! It was during that assembly on our first day.”

“Alright, what’s the dudes name?” Ned swiveled to his laptop, popped a cheese puff in his mouth, his fingers hovering over the keys, already in research mode. “I’ll look him up, see if there’s any info about him.”

“Okay, It’s Dr. Tony Stark.”

Ned stopped typing, and turned around with a roll of his eyes.

“Ha, Ha, very funny Peter. I’m proud of how far you’ve come with pranks, but next time pick someone a little more believable than Tony Stark.”

“You know him too? I don’t understand why it’s funny.” Peter tilted his head in confusion. “Maybe he’s more well known then I thought? He seemed surprised I didn’t recognize him.”

“You’re expecting us to believe that you met Tony Stark, creator of Iron Man and former weapons dealer, he hung out with you and offered you, a high school student, an interview?” MJ drawled, eyes still glued to her book.

“Well, I didn’t know about the weapons, and I don’t know what Iron man is, but yes?”

Ned looked more incredulous. “You have to know who Iron Man is. Super hero, savior of New York, Famously Tony Stark?”

“No I don’t. I don’t know if you remember, Ned, but I was raised in a HYDRA compound. The only superhero I learned about was Captain America and how much he apparently sucked. Are you guys pulling a prank on me?” Peter crossed his arms with a huff of exasperation. “Dr. Stark was just a normal guy. A normal guy who is a genius in engineering, but a normal guy other than that. Here, look, a picture of us.”

He pulled up a photo of that he accidentally took when fumbling with his phone to give it to Mr. Stark for his number. It showed Peter’s awkward, confused face squinting at the camera and a nonplussed Tony Stark peering over his shoulder.

Ned’s jaw dropped, and he expressed a noise that sounded like air escaping from a latex balloon.

“Holy shit. Holy shit. That’s Tony Stark. Oh my gosh, you were telling the truth.” Ned breathed. MJ looked up for the first time and even she appeared a little surprised.

“Uh, yeah, that’s what I’m trying to tell you, I don’t know why you guys didn’t believe me, or about any of this other stuff you were telling me about.”

“Peter.” Ned stared at him, then turned around to type ’t’ into the search bar.

Tony Stark was one of the first queries to be suggested, and Peter’s confusion compounded. Ned pressed ‘enter’, and Peter’s eye widened at the number of hits- billions. Ned pointed a shaking figure at Tony’s wikipedia picture- him smiling in an expensive suit, with the Iron Man armor lurking just behind him.

“Tony Stark is one of the most famous people in the world.”

“Oh.”

“You didn’t recognize him instantly? Not even when he told you his name? There’s a picture of him on the wall in Mrs. Gonzales’s room, Peter!”

“I don’t have Gonzales. And you know I don’t know a lot of news or culture stuff. I’ve only gotten caught up on Avatar, Glee, and Antiques Roadshow.” Peter said, a little defensive. “ Plus, I thought he was a teacher.”

“You thought Tony Stark was a high school teacher.”

“That, or a janitor. He was cool about it when I asked.” Peter shrugged.

“You-you-“ Ned gaped like a fish, and Peter was starting to worry about his oxygen levels.

“Hmn.” MJ confiscated Peter’s phone, scanning the internship paperwork. “Ned, Stark isn’t technically Iron Man any more. And out of any of the superheros, he’s the last one on my shit list, which I never thought I would say. He at least is taking responsibility after Sokovia, signed the accords, financially cleaning up his messes. I don’t like the guy, but I think that it’s a good idea for you to learn. Midtown is far too easy for you. Plus, you’ll almost definently be working in one of the big intern labs. You probably won’t run into Stark at all.”

“Peter, if you don’t take this offer, I will kill you.” Ned had recovered from his wheezing fit, and stared at Peter with a worrying solemnity.

“Alright, alright, I’ll do it.” He yanked his phone back from MJ, and typed up a reply.

Hey Mr. Stark! I would love to do an internship!

Also, I told my family about it, and they freaked out and didn’t believe me at first! You didn’t tell me you were famous! Sorry for thinking that you were a teacher/janitor. I’m excited to do science! When do I start?

***

When she walked past Tony’s lab and didn’t hear AC/DC blaring, Pepper knew something had to be wrong.

It had been a week since Tony had responded to any of her emails and reminders about the internship program, and she was starting to get frustrated. As she was in town for a leadership summit, she figured it may be benifical for several reasons to stop by the tower. Getting Tony to finally get his head out of his ass and hurry up with internships and the new StarkPhone blueprints, making sure the penthouse wasn’t full of liquor, having an excuse to see her husband for the first time in months.

God, they were fucked up. Pepper Potts, CEO extraordinaire and paragon of compitency, was about three wrong turns from falling apart at any moment.
Not that the world would ever know that. Not that Tony would ever know that.

The lack of loud rock had her heels clicking just a bit faster on the floor. Was he passed out again? No, no, FRIDAY would have told her. But-

The lab wasn’t silent. She heard Tony’s laugh. His real one, not the boring dinner party laugh, or bad late night show joke laugh, or hysterical self loathing at three am laugh, but his real one. Pepper had forgotten how much she missed it.

Mr. Starkkkk!” an unfamiliar voice pouted. “You can’t laugh at me!”

A child’s voice. What the fuck.

Pepper moved forward, FRIDAY unlocking it in a second for her. Tony looked up in surprise at the sound of her heels, joy, confusion, pain, and a hundred other things flickering through his eyes. He never tried to put up his mask with her, he knew she would see right through. Usually it was one of the things she was most proud of, but right now it ached to be the one putting all those emotions in Tony’s eyes.

“Pepper! I uh, didn’t know you were in town. This is Peter,” She did not wince. She’s practiced in that. Everything reminded her of James, so she had gotten used to not wincing at the world. “Newest intern. It’s the kid’s first day, so go easy on ‘em.”

Pepper gave him her “we will talk about this later, Anthony” glare that she had perfected over the years, before softening her gaze and looking at the boy who was cowering half behind Tony. They had obviously been working on something together, two mugs and two open packets of Swiss miss on the workbench (Tony drinking something other than coffee?), spare parts all over the table, two differentscrawls on the whiteboard. Had Tony ever let someone into his space like this? And the hot chocolate, God. Seeing him act a little like a father again hit her like a freight train, and she almost crumbled.

It didn’t help, of course, that the kid looked so much like James. The curly brown hair, the big eyes. Her fingers twitched for a moment, wanting to bring her hand to his cheek to see if she had any dimples. He looked so young, just about how old James would be if-

She stared at Tony. Tony and the boy who could have been her son.

Pepper never really had the opportunity to fall apart.

She was the one who kept everything going, who dried her tears and stepped into boardrooms, decimated the competition. Cleaned up the mess of her husband’s liquor binges and the mess of Avengers level controversies. She was Pepper Potts, and she was the strong one. Had to be.

The work helped, though. Kept her from dwelling on it. She kept her life so regimented, so scheduled. She couldn’t spend the rest of the day in a stupor of grief, she had a meeting with the leader of Malaysia about a water crisis. There was no room to breathe, so there was no time to cry.

She had come close to falling apart before- in the first Christmas without her son, when Tony was gone in Afghanistan, paladium poisoning. When she passed by the kids clothes section in Target and saw a little shirt with a science pun on it and wanted to see James in it, alive, so badly that her fingernails dug red crescents into her palms. There was a reason she had her assistant do all the shopping after that.

Pepper did not have the luxury of regret, of grieving. Her feelings about her son were buried in a box deep in her mind, a box she never dared to open, not even in August. She would take it out when she retired, and probably sob and sob and sob till the sun burned out.

“Hello, Peter.” Pepper smiled at him. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“H-hello ma’am. Um, what’s your name?”

“I’m Pepper, Pepper Potts-Stark.” She ignored the slight upturn of Tony’s lips when she gave her full last name. “I’m the CEO of Stark Industries.”

She wasn’t used to introducing herself, how odd.

“You’re not secretly a superhero, are you?” He said, scrunching up his nose adorably. See, this was why Pepper avoided kids at all costs.

“Nah, kid, she’s cooler than that.” Tony smirked, smiling down at Peter. Pepper gave them both a look of confusion, another thing she wasn’t used to.

“Oh, um, when I first met Mr.Stark I didn’t know who he was, and then I thought he was just good at science because I’ve read some of his papers which are really good, but it turns out he’s like super famous and made a robot suit or something? I dunno Ned yelled at me a while because of it.”

There was a sparkle in Tony’s eye that she hadn’t seen in a while, and he nodded at her to confirm the story.

“I thought he was a teacher, or yknow, a janitor.”

“What?!” Tony screeched.

“Oh that’s brilliant.” Pepper started to giggle. “I have to say though, Peter, I thought everyone your age knew everything about the Avengers.”

“I grew up in rural Nevada, we had like, super strict rules, were homeschooled, and couldn’t use the internet or anything so this is all super new to me.” He shrugged nonchalantly, like that was a perfectly normal experience. “Plus, I care way more about Mr. Stark’s work in molecular physics than Iron Guy,”

There was a fragility in Tony’s expression, like he was ready to take out his arc reactor and place it in Peter’s hand and curl the boys small fingers around it. That expression was dangerous, and he could get hurt. He had given her that look, and she had hurt him. But looking at the boy’s so honest smile made her want to dosomething stupid too.

“Or his “most bangable businessman” award, whatever the heck that means,” Peter continued, Pepper snapping out of her reverie to glare at her husband who was already putting his hands up in surrender.

“I didn’t say anything to the kid about that! I swear! It’s just one of the first things on my Wikipedia page!” He said. She narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m keeping it kid friendly. Watching my language and shit- sorry, shoot.”

“So you’re new to New York?” She returned her attention to Peter. He nodded. “What about your mom and dad?”

Tony lost his mirth and his eyes widened inalarm, sending her a desperate look as if begging with her not to ask. Holy shit, did this kid’s parents really not agree to the internship? She was going to kill him.

“Peter, are your mom and dad okay with you being here?” She asked again, a little more deliberate. The boy cast his eyes to the floor and shuffled his feet.

“I don’t have a mom and dad. And uh, my foster parent thinks it’s a good idea and is totally on board.” Peter mumbled. Tony shot her a ‘nice one, Potts’ look that had her even more deflated. God, what had happened to the boy to make him look so meek? She couldn’t ever imagine someone wanting to give a kid this sweet up, or, god forbid, hurting him-

Well then again, she never thought that someone would hurt James.

“Oh. I’m sorry about that.” She cleared her throat awkwardly. Why was it so hard to talk to children? “I’m glad to hear that your guardian knows where you are. We’re happy to have you here.”

“Thank you, Ms. Pottstark.” He met her gaze for a quick second with a blush. A tense moment, and then a little alarm went off.

“Shoot, Pete. 9 o’clock. Time for you to head home kid. Head down the elevator, FRIDAY will take you to happy. Sorry I can’t help walk you down, I’ve gotta stay and talk to the missus for a quick sec.” Tony jumped up from where he had been leaning against the workbench, rubbing his hands together in the way he always did when he was nervous.

With a whirlwind of shoving papers into his backpack and a chorus of excited chatter, Peter was out the door and bounding down the hall, gone as soon as he came.

“Tony.” Pepper sighed, and pinched her nose with her fingers. It had been a very, very long day and she just wanted to go to sleep. “What on earth.”

“No hello? How are you? Really? You wound me, Potts.”

“I’m sorry, I was a little distracted by the fact that you have a literal child in your lab now. He’s not a toy, Tony. You can’t pick him up and then get bored of him, and-“

“I know that! You were the one who told me to get an intern!”

“And you picked a highschooler?”

“He’s smart! Smart as hell! He didn’t know who I was, but he could understand my articles in the Scientific American!”

“Oh and you were so annoyed at not being instantly recognised that you decided you had to remedy that in the easiest way possible?” Pepper wasn’t sure why she was lashing out. Routine, predictability, were the some of only things she could lean on, that kept her upright. And Tony letting a boy, a boy with James’s coloring and smarts and- fuck, she needed a drink - in his lab? Neither predicable or routine.

“Oh don’t throw that at me, Pepper. We may be separated,” He spit out the word like a curse, and she suddenly couldn’t look at him any more. “But you know me well enough to know I don’t want to be Tony Fucking Stark all the time.”

“You’re right. You’re right. I’m sorry. Not you, I’ve got a bad headache, flight was long and- doesn’t matter. Sorry.” She murmured, wrapping her arms around herself. There was a moment of silence before he spoke again.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’ve got some Advil if you want it?” He weakly offered. Pepper shook her head. She still couldn’t look at him. All she wanted, more than almost anything, was to look at him. But she wouldn’t.

“I don’t want to fight, Pep.” He said, sounding as exhausted as she feels. “I feel like every time we talk these days, we fight. I don’t want that, I-“

“I don’t want to either, Tony. It’s just- that kid looks so much like James and James’s middle name was Peter, and you used to read-“ Tony stiffened as she brought up what they were both thinking, and she stopped, sighed. She chose her next words carefully, speaking them as softly as possible. “Are you sure you aren’t trying to-“

“Trying to do what, Pepper? Replace my dead kid? Project onto a stranger? I know that Peter isn’t James, believe me. Peter is older than he would be, he’s not allergic to hazelnuts, he’s not our son, and more than anything, he’s alive. I buried our son, I saw his body, Pepper, and-“

She stepped forward, placing her hands above his trembling ones. Pepper wished she could hold all of him, wrap herself around him like his armor and protect him from the world and make him understand how much she loved him.

“I know, love. I know.” Her words made his eyes, fearful but no longer quite as distant, snap to hers. “But I just don’t want to see you or Peter get hurt.”

His jaw clenched and he looked away again, letting out a little hollow chuckle. “Yeah, because Tony Stark destroys everything he touches.”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Tony,” She hated when he got like this, self destructive and wounded.

“I broke us, didn’t I?”

“The person who took James from us is the one who broke us.” She snapped, displaying a raw anguish she never let him see. “Not you, never you, Tony Stark. You fix things, you don’t break them. And even if we can’t be together, I will always love you. That’s never changed, even with the very sky opening up over our heads.”

She was tearing up, and Tony brought a callused thumb to brush away a fallen tear, the gesture so familiar that she leaned into the touch.

“Me too, Potts.” He said simply.

They stood there for a few minutes, the automatic lighting in the lab clicking off after a while with no movement. She was secretly glad for it. It was easier to be close like this in the dark, with no one watching, no awareness of their surroundings. They held each other and did not back away.

“I’m not going to mess the kid up.” Tony was the first to retreat, stepping back. The lights snapped back on immediately, and Pepper readjusted her blazer, not looking at her husband. “I’m just teaching him some math tricks, he’s helping me with the fiddly bits of some smaller projects. I’ll write him a recommendation letter for college, he’ll send a Christmas card, and we won’t see each other again. I’m not getting attached to him? He’s just-tolerable. You know me, when has Tony Stark gotten attached to some kid? Stark men are made of Iron, remember?”

She said nothing.

“Now can you shoo? I need to finish this coupling unit.” His normal carefree mask of a persona was on again, but when he turned his back to her, his tight, hunched shoulder blades revealed his tension. If it was years ago, before Iron Man and despair entered their life, she would go to him, rub the knots out of his back, listen to him tell her about all of his wonderful ideas, hold him close. But they were older now, and she could not touch him like that any more.

“As you wish, Mr. Stark.”

As the door to the lab shut behind her, Pepper found herself in the common ritual of cursing Howard Stark. Stark men are made of iron? What a joke. Stark men are made of glass, shattered and glued back together over and over again until one day the pieces are too small to gather up again.

She didn’t know if she would be able to put Tony back together if he broke again.

Notes:

Peter: mmm cheese puffs :)
pepper: I am despondent, and will never forget the pain as a mother who lost her child

Thank you guys so much for 400 kudos, that is absolutely insane.

Chapter 16: get grandslammed, man

Notes:

hi guys! Took a break for a couple days but I’m back.

V silly chapter today. Not very weighty. A few ppl said they liked decathalon team bonding so have some of that. Its a little repetitive, but I just needed to get Something out bc I was really stuck in a rut.

Also I had written the first little rollerskating scene before they had even escaped hydra lol I just really wanted to have them skate :)

Please let me know what you think! Comments are so so helpful!

CW: guns, mention of police brutality

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

70s music blared as Peter failed valiantly to rise to his wheeled feet once more.

After Midtown’s AcaDec team was led to crushing victory in their first three matches by MJ, Mr Harrington proposed his first popular idea- a team celebration. Fights broke out over where it would be, until Cindy Moon’s mother shared her Groupon for group rollerskating, and the plan was solidified, leading to their small, uncoordinated group of nerds haunting the cavernous space of a roller rink at 10:30 AM on a Tuesday.

Peter was pretty sure he wasn’t doing it right, but he was having a blast anyway. He had gotten to ride on a school bus (!!) for the first time, listened to ABBA, lost a claw machine game, and fallen on his face about 6 times. At least he had gotten past the stage where he kept accidentally sticking himself to the floor.

“This is stupid, Ned.” MJ was uncharacteristically wobbly just ahead of Peter. “Sure, you might have more speed at some points, but running would be much more efficient and effective.”

“Okay, but is running fun?” Ned asked with a laugh, gracefully skating in a circle around his struggling friends. Ned hadn’t let slip why he was so good at skating, only that he used to take Sam to their local rink. “Cmon, relax a bit, if you fall, I’ll pull ya up again. Bend your knees, shift your weight a bit forward- there you go!”

Peter whooped from his position on the floor as MJ began to move a bit more successfully, her lip quirking up a bit as she managed to push her foot back and gain more speed.

“WOOHOO! Let’s go Jones!” Ned executed a victory twirl that made Peter dizzy.

In a bit of daring, MJ made a sharp turn, skating sideways until she leveled out, finishing with a skid in front of her friends once more.

“Nice moves,” A pretty girl with an Afro a few years older than them smiled at MJ as she skated over to her bag. She gave a little wave just before she kicked off her skates, slung them over one shoulder, and left.

MJ went bright red, something Peter had never seen on her face before. Was she alright- could she be getting sick? But before he could ask, peals of laughter interrupted him.

“OOooO! MJ has a crushhhhh!” Ned teased, dodging her attempts to put her hand over his mouth.

“Stop! No I do not, Ned!”

“Uhhuh. You should have seen your faceee~”

“Need I remind you who broke our instructor’s arm in thirty seconds?” MJ hissed, and then raised her voice as he continued to laugh. “I’m going to kill you, Leeds!”

“You’d have to catch me first, MJ!” Unperturbed by her threats, Ned zipped away, at one point skating backwards and sticking his tounge out at a growling MJ.


Peter smiled at his friends, getting up to join before slipping into the splits again. He sighed, and decided that rollerskating just wasn’t for him. Resolving to scoot on his butt across the empty rink, he went in search of more snacks.

***

“There’s no way there isn’t something going on there.” An exasperated Flash was pointing from the other side of the roller rink, gesturing at the two students racing at breakneck speeds, and the other one scooting on the ground.

“Ugh, give it a rest, Flash.” Liz rolled her eyes, frowning at her empty slushee cup.

“I can’t believe you guys don’t see it! They show up in out of nowhere, they have all these freaky skills- we need to tell like, an authority figure or something about them!” Everyone groaned.

“Flash, I’m an authority figure, and just because your classmates might be a bit different from you doesn’t mean that-“ Mr. Harrington attempted from his distant seat.

“I mean like, an actual authority figure.” Nobody objected to Flash’s classification of Harrington, not even the man himself. “And I don’t mean different, I mean like, I saw Michelle throw a plastic cafeteria knife at a garter snake and kill it without really even looking at it.”

“That’s just because she’s cool. A girl boss, if you will.” Liz said, examining a nail.

“Yeah, and I don’t care if MJ is a drug kingpin.” Cindy crossed her arms, defiant. “That girl is decathlon Moses, and she is leading us out of the desert and into the promised land of finals.”

“This is the best shot Midtown has stood in years.” Betty added. “Last game, MJ gave us an excellent speech-“

“She talked about smelling fear, and how to crush our enemies skulls!” Flash protested, his voice getting a little screechy.

“Yeah, and it was a great speech! The boy from Luther peed his pants a little! Plus, Peter absolutely destroyed in science, and Ned got that final question. We need them!” Cindy gesticulated.

“They’re staying.” Abe crossed his arms. “You’re just jealous because with Peter here, you’re an alternate now.”

“N-No!” He stammered. “I mean, I’m not the only one who thinks it’s weird, Betty also-“

“Nope, Flash. No scoop there.” She didn’t look up at the flabbergasted boy.

“Betty Brant, not snooping?” Cindy turned to her with a raised eyebrow. “Guess you really like-“

“Ah! Nope! There really is no story!” Betty cut her friend off hurriedly. Her uncharacteristic lack of concern had absolutely nothing to do with the big fat crush on Ned Leeds she definitely did not have. Nothing to do with the “B+N” hearts that were not scribbled in her chem notebook or the “HIS SMILE BDHDJE!!” texts she totally did not text Cindy at three in the morning. And it absolutely had nothing to do with hours spent daydreaming about perhaps becoming Betty Leeds in a big white dress (definitely a sweetheart neckline), living in a cute apartment with Ned and hosting an investigative journalism show called “The Leads with Leeds”.

“So what do you guys think of Spider-Man?” Betty brought herself back from her derailed Ned daydream as the group groaned at Abe’s mistake of bringing up the Queens Hero, Flash perking up immediately.

“Well, he’s the best superhero ever.” He began, puffing up in his polo shirt.

“Captain America is better.” Cindy argued, swinging her legs back and forth in her chair. “He has like, comics written about him. Spider-Man has Twitter fan blogs.”

“As an admin of three different SpiderFan accounts, I object to that, but whatever. Spider-Man doesn’t need comics or a museum. He’s a man of the people, just like me.”

“A man of the people? Flash, you get driven to school every day in a BMW, driven by a chauffeur?” Abe could barely hide his incredulity, and the rest of the team giggled.

“Hey guys!” Ned slid into the little wall in front of them, plopping into the chair next to Betty’s. MJ followed seconds later, preferring to lean against a pillar, and both of them shucked off their skates. “What are we laughing about?”

Before anyone could answer, MJ stiffened and grabbed Ned’s wrist, her head jerking towards the main rink. Betty followed her gaze, curious as to what in the nearly-empty building could have caught her attention.

Walking closer to them was a man. He was wearing a simple brown suit and tie, with a matching fedora. His poor fashion would not have been noteworthy if not for his strange black suit that covered his entire face and extended to his hands. The only detail to his face were angular, harsh white lines. The decathlon team fell quiet, aware that this felt like more than usual New York City shenanigans.

“Knife tucked into his left sleeve.” Ned said to MJ, so quiet that Betty didn’t even know if she had heard him correctly. She noticed that both of them held themselves taught as bowstrings, as if ready to move at any moment.

“I see it. He’s got a 6 inch blade strapped on his right ankle.” MJ said, utterly emotionless. Betty couldn’t interrogate whatever their knowledge of weapons meant- she was too busy starting to panic as the masked man grew ever closer.

“Shit. Glock 19 in the jacket.” Had she ever heard Ned swear? Weird that that’s what she was fixated on- wait, he had a gun. Betty started to hyperventilate.

“It’s gonna be okay, Betty. Don’t worry.” Ned turned to her, sending her fear. He squeezed her hand and offered her a kind smile. She attempted a nod in return.

“Hello, children.” It was eerie, hearing the man’s voice but not seeing any movement. He was far too close now, and Betty could feel the others leer back beside her. “I was hoping for a larger audience but it looks like we’ll have to have a change of venue.”

He took something out from behind his back- Ned was right, he did have a gun- and pointed it at them. Someone screamed, Betty thought it might have been her.

“Who are you?” Ned blurted out. He shifted himself to stand more in front of Betty. Was he insane? No- she could see his flesh hand trembling ever so slightly. So he was scared too.

“I am Crime Master,” the man said with a dramatic flourish of his arm that Betty might have laughed at if there wasn’t a gun pointed at her. “And though this establishment may not have the cash I’m looking for, I’m sure the wealthy parents of students of the prestigious Midtown will have it. You all are coming with me.”

Betty let her dry eyes take inventory of the situation. Mr. Harrington looked to be in some sort of standing coma. Liz seemed terrified out of her mind but was doing a commendable job of keeping it together. Cindy murmured something about a ‘secondary location’, and MJ sent her an impressed look.

“Well? I don’t have all day, little hostages.” He barked.

“Fine! We’ll go with you!” Ned cried out, stepping closer to the man. He made a strange symbol with his fingers and tapped them three times behind his back. MJ eyes took in the movement, clicked her tounge, and then covered Flashes mouth as he opened it to make an affronted noise.

“But we have some questions first!” Ned turned his scared surrender pose into one of friendly nonchalance. Huh, maybe he really was crazy. “We’ve gotta talk about that name, buddy. Crime Master? You have to tell me about that.”


“What? I don’t have to explain myself to you.” CrimeMaster looked just as confused as Betty felt.


“Well, we aren’t going anywhere and you should maybe workshop a bit before your first media appearance.” Ned said with a little laugh, like the armed man was being the silly one. Betty couldn’t see Crime Master’s face, but she was pretty sure his jaw had gone slack.


“So, the name. I think we can do better. It’s just not unique enough, it doesn’t have an oomf to me. What do we think, people, he turns to face the team who were also staring at him in shock, tapping his chin contemplatively. Mr. Harrington remained unresponsive.


After a moment of silent, Abe, hesitant, rang the little debate bell

“Abe, you don’t have to use the bell. This is an informal round table, you can just speak up. Love the enthusiasm, though.” Ned chided with a dismissive hand wave.

“Oh, uh, right. I mean, it seems a little prescriptive? And redundant? Like, we get it, you’re doing crime, we could already see that, so is every other “villain” in New York.” Abe said, growing a bit louder with each word.

“I felt the same way, Abe! Great comment.” Abe beamed back at Ned. “Yeah, to piggyback off of that, it’s really not specific. When I hear Crime Master, I think” he spread his arms dramatically “ Oh, is he like a hero who stops crime? Is more powerful than it? Which obviously, we don’t want, and the next thing I think is- okay, Master of All crime? Like, does he do every crime? Cause that’s a lot to unpack there, because literally so many things are illegal.”

“Yeah, I mean,” Cindy chimed in. “That would include like, Tax Fraud, which is boring as hell and not a cool thing to put in your persona. That’s a crime that like, Flash’s dad commits.

“Hey! The IRS couldn’t prove shit!” Flash objected, forgetting his fear for a moment to talk about his father. “Wait, child molestation is also a crime. Ew! Oh my god! Are you a pervert! That’s so gross, dude!”

With a chorus of ewws, they theatrically inched away from Crime Master, who looked as flustered as someone in a black mask could.

“What! No! Of course not! Ugh- why would you even go there? W-“

“Whatever you say, Pedo Master” Flash said, harnessing his power of mean nicknames for good. The rest of the team nodded in agreement.

“SILENCE! It’s CRIME Master! Thievery, arson, Hostage situations, outsmarting New York’s Finest and making heaps of money along the way.” The criminal attempted intimidation, but ended up just looking silly.

“Why are you the “master” though. anyone can do crime. It’s literally so easy.” MJ said, with the ease and sureness of someone who has committed many crimes very easily. “And outsmarting the NYPD? The police department that has a budget larger than several entire states, has dudes in spandex doing half their job for them and yet still manage to do absolutely nothing? Big whoop.”

“Okay, can we talk about this outfit though?” Betty managed to choke out, sounding a lot braver than she felt.

“Thank you for bringing it up,” Liz Allen exclaimed, turning to Betty like they were talking about someone at a party. “Like I was going tooo, but I was worried that it was just me being weird.”

“It’s definitely not just you. I mean, what looks like a spandex indie underneath a like 70s brown suit. Don’t double suit. Pick one or the other.” Cindy paired her words with a wrinkled nose.

“Someone doesn’t have the body for spandexxxx.” Liz muttered, a bit singsong

“Listen, my guy, as an occasional enjoyer of fedoras and other fine hats, it takes a certain level of masculinity to pull off a hat like that. And you, friend, definitely don’t have it.” Flash said, tipping his own fedora at the gunman.

“Also dude, you do realize that wearing a black mask makes you like, way more likely to get shot by the cops?” Cindy and Betty hummed in agreement with Abe’s point.


“Forget the cops! Spider-Man will defeat him in two seconds flat!” Flash said with a triumphant fist raise. MJ’s eyes widened as she took in everyone’s body language, and leaned just a bit further in. Shit, had Flash gone too far?

“Spider man!” The man stopped fumbling for his point in the tumultuous ocean of teenage conversation. He regained his aggression and confidence with a ferocity that made them all silence abruptly and take a step back. “Spider-Man?! Don’t make me laugh. I will get rid of all of you sniveling twerps, then squash that bug below my feet-“

Halfway through his triumphant monologue, Betty began to register a blur of movement in her periphery, accompanied by Peter’s frantic voice

shitahhhowdoIStOP?!”

“And New York will forever,” Crime Master continued, and none of them could do anything to change what happened next, “remember the name of-“

With a crash, the blur of speed that was Peter Parker crashed into him, knocking the villain ass-over-teakettle as they both slid a few feet down the floor.

“Omigosh, I am so so sorry! Are you alright?” Peter dizzily picked himself off the floor, oblivious of his entire team staring at him. “I didn’t see you there, and I just couldn’t stop myself-“

“Peter.” Ned managed to cut him off.

“Oh, hey guys!” Peter gave a little wave “Sorry, they were out of popcorn. Did I miss anything?”

MJ eyed Crime Master’s unconscious form, and the police lights beginning to gather just around the corner.

“Nope. We’re just all going to go to Denny’s.” Michelle replied.

“Cool!” Peter grinned as he was dragged off to their bags by Ned, the rest of the decathalon team still unsure of what to say.

“Aww, but I hate Denny’s!” Flash finally whined.

“Flash, After church lunches, traumatic experiences, and youth theater performances, you simply have to go to Denny’s.” Betty said, sollumenly.

“Nothing makes you forget a night of flubbed lines or the fact that you’ll never see your beloved Aunt again like a Grandslam.” Liz said.

“There’s one like two blocks from here. We should probably leave a note with Mr. Harrington. I think he fainted.” MJ said, before stepping over to the Crime Master and taking something out of his pocket. She then grabbed a piece of Cindy’s Sanrio stationary, scrawled a quick note, and placed it on their teacher’s chest.

The whole team followed Ned and Peter out the door, leaving behind a bad guy they were already starting to forget the name of, several confused beat cops, and one extremely stressed teacher.

That afternoon, the Midtown Academic Decathalon team enjoyed several hundred dollars worth of Denny’s all paid for by a wallet Betty was 90% sure Michelle stole from the unconscious criminal. All in all, a pretty successful team building party.

***

Harrington,

The threat has been neutralized. It would have been a hassle and more of a danger to us to wait for you to rise. Plus, you provided nothing of importance to the mission.

We are all fine. We are going to the “Denny’s” restaurant two streets over. I understand this is against school protocol. However, if you attempt to inform any officials of this, I will tell them about your conduct today, Las Vegas ‘07, last summer in New Jersey, and Darla Johnson.

Cross me, and I will burn you, Harrington. You are a weak man, and it is only by my mercy that you remain.

Rodger read the rest of the note on his chest, and decided to just keep lying on the floor of the roller rink a little while longer.

Notes:

Crime Master is actually a real Spider-Man villain in the comics. I didn’t find any real background on him, other than
1) he’s a criminal w. no powers
2) he has a dumb outfit
3) his name is crime master
so, extremely lame villain.

alternative title for this chapter- the one where the teens bully & annoy the villain into submission

next chapter has pepper and tony & some revelations!

pspspsps a comment please :))

Chapter 17: no shoes on the ceiling

Notes:

500 kudos??? holy shit?????

edit 5/20/23: user bbjooon helped me with the tagalog in this chapter so it should now be more accurate! thank you again :D

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“You still haven’t met his guardian yet?”

Tony put down his wrench with a sigh, knowing without looking up that Pepper was leveling him with an unimpressed stare.

She had been coming over more often in the past few weeks, often sitting on the edge of his workbench and asking an enthusiastic Peter about school. It’d been like a dream, and Tony hadn’t felt this good in years. He relished every minute he spent with Pepper and Peter, except this exact conversation: Pepper’s increasingly recurring demand to know more about Peter’s home life.

“Tony, you spend multiple days a week with him.”

“Why are you so curious about ‘just an intern’?” He quirked an eyebrow at her.

“Just- liability-“ She blushed.

“Liability my ass.” He rolled his eyes. “You have like, a fleet of lawyers for that. Admit it, you like the kid. You’re worried about him.”

She gave his teasing grin an extremely unconvincing scowl, but before she could open her mouth to reply, Peter burst back into the room.

“Mr. Stark! I found the hex pins! I had left them on the couch when we all watched a movie last week!” Peter skidded in, slightly breathless and with a beaming smile.

“Nice work, kid. But we’ve gotta get you home, it’s almost 8. Head on down, Happy’ll drive you.”

“What he means,” Pepper cut in. “Is Happy will drive us. You were saying earlier that your foster mom is always home when you get back?”

“Uh, yeah.” Peter’s grin immediately vanished, replaced with a growing trepidation.

“Excellent. I’d love to meet her.” Pepper said, already striding towards the elevator. Peter shot Tony a look of alarm.

“Sorry, kid.” Tony shrugged, following her out. “Once she makes her mind up, it’s best just to go with her way.”

When they reached the car- a nondescript black one with bench seating in the tinted exterior- Happy didn’t seem too surprised. Evidentially Pepper had warned him. The man couldn’t resist giving Tony a raised eyebrow on his way in, however.

Inside, Pepper was primly perched on the bench seat opposite a very nervous Peter, her high heels crossed delicately to the side. He took a seat next to her, deciding to give the kid some space and was rewarded by Pepper giving him a small smile. Damn, why did that smile still give him butterflies after all of these years?

“Uh, take us to Peter’s, Hap.” He cleared his throat after realizing he had lingered a little too long on her face. Happy gave his affirmative grunt and they were off.

There was a moment of silence, punctuated only by the noise of the road and Peter’s nervous shifting on the leather seat.

“Um, could I call home? Just to uh, tell them we’re coming?” The boy eventually asked.

“Of course, Peter.” Pepper smiled at him, and he seemed to lose a bit of nervous energy.

Peter only had to wait through two rings before his call was picked up. What surprised Tony was the fact that the kid then began to speak in a foreign language. By the second sentence, Tony had narrowed it down to an Asiatic language. Damn, he wished he knew more than just Italian, French, Japanese, Mandarin, and Arabic. His father had been right- he should have been more dedicated to his linguistic studies- it was a weakness.

Beside him, Pepper’s eyes narrowed at Peter’s words, her suspicion seeming to deepen at whatever he was saying. So it was a language that she spoke, Tony thought, and for the millionth time thanked God for Pepper Potts.

Pepper waited until Peter hung up to strike.

Hindi ko alam na marunong ka pala magtagalog. Ginagamit mo ba ito kapag kausap mo ang iyong pamilya?” she said, smiling pleasantly as Peter froze. Tagalog, that’s what it was! Pepper had picked it up a few years ago.

“Uh- um-“

“We’re here.” Happy’s gruff voice saved Peter from Pepper’s line of questioning. For now.

Tony got out first, opening the door for Pepper and absentmindedly holding out an arm for her to grab as he busied himself with looking around at his surroundings. It was… not the greatest area. Granted, he was likely completely out of touch with what was an acceptable level of neighborhood color, but by the time Pepper took his proffered arm to carefully step onto the cracked pavement in her heels, he had counted several boarded up windows, lots of broken glass, and a few extremely suspicious unidentified stains. He made eye contact with a druggie- heroin most likely, Tony thought, based on the guy’s general countenance. He didn’t judge- if Tony didn’t have Pepper and money, he’d probably be in the same boat.

Peter held open the scratched door of an apartment building, still looking a little nervous. “Um, we just have to go up the elevator and then we’ll be there.”

Pepper gave him a dazzling smile like she was being invited into the White House and the kid seemed to become a little less nervous. The three of them piled into the rickety elevator- Jesus, the thing was prehistoric- and waited in awkward silence. Tony couldn’t help but muse over what a strange scene this was. A skinny freshman, Pepper Potts dressed to the nines, and Tony Stark, all crowded into the shittiest elevator Tony had ever ridden in. He was glad too, that he and Pepper had never revealed James’s existence to the press- not only did it mean that it wasn’t thrown back in their faces constantly, it meant a photograph of them in Peter wouldn’t be front page news with the headline “Starks Moving On? Couple Replacing Dead Son Already?” Pepper’s therapist would find that line of thinking paranoid. He would tell her that it’s common sense after being in the papers since birth.

The elevator came to a groaning halt, and the three of them stepped out into a dimly lit carpeted hallway. Past a few dingy doors, and then they were there. Peter unlocked the door and Tony got his first view of his intern’s apartment. It was much better than the hallway, and seemed homey enough. From the door frame he could see a light on in the kitchen, and a couple of mismatched couches in the darkened living area. Some kids backpacks thrown about, but it was generally pretty neat. A chubby kid in a “kiss the cook” apron was humming over a pot at the stove. Tony had almost placed the hauntingly familiar tune when Peter cut the boy off with a cough.

“Oh hey Peter. MJ said something about us having people over later? You know what’s up with that?” The boy remained fixated on his cooking, bringing a wooden spoon up to his lips and scrunching up his face at the taste. “Needs more cumin.”

With that observation, he finally looked up and saw them. The kid’s face was very expressive, and Tony may have slightly enjoyed seeing the shock bloom across his expression. The spoon dropped to the ground, forgotten.

OhMyGoshWhat-“ he squeaked, sounding a bit like air escaping from a teakettle. “MJ!”

“Yeah?” Tony turned at the sound to see a a poofy haired girl on a couch in the dark corner of the apartment lazily taking out one earbud.

“Am I crazy or are TONYFREAKINGSTARK and PEPPERPOTTS standing in my KITCHEN right now?”

“You’re crazy, and they’re in the kitchen right now.” She said, deadpan.

“Oh my god, Didyouknowabout this? Why didn’t you tell me?” He hissed.

“Because I knew you would react this way.” The girl replied, and the boy let out an offended squawk. Tony decided now might be the time to step in.

“Hi, I’m Tony Stark.” He casually sauntered to the kid and shook his ungloved- weird, why was he wearing a black glove in his own kitchen?- hand. “And this is my much better half Pepper. What’s your name?”

“N-Ned.”

Tony, ever the showman, spun around to the girl, who had a scowl that rivaled Pepper’s. “And you must be MJ!”

“Michelle to you.” She examined her nails. Completely unimpressed with him, another thing she shared with Pep, who giggled at the comment. Well, at least Ted or whatever reacted appropriately.

“It’s nice to meet you both. Now that we know each other, I think it’s time we all had a talk. Where is your guardian?” The three kids stiffened under Pepper’s press-conference smile. Peter opened his mouth to respond, but Pep cut him off. “And before you say out, I’m looking around at this apartment and there is absolutely no sign of any adult living here. Not a stray shoe or picture or anything. Unless an adult walks into this room right now, we have a serious problem. So I’ll ask one more time, where are your guardians?”

“We don’t have any!” Ned blurted.

“And we don’t need any.” Michelle said, crossing her arms with a countenance that hardened with frost.

“You need parents! This is insane, what were you even thinking? We need to get you-“ Pepper’s voice was beginning to lose her careful composure.

“No! You can’t report us. They’ll- they’ll separate us.”

“You don’t know that for sure.” Tony said, deciding that he should probably step in to back up his wife at this point. “And besides, you need an adult looking after you.”

“This is not a negotiation. I’m going to call a contact down at child services and then-“

I’m enhanced!

The entire kitchen went quiet at Peter’s exclamation. Michelle had gone sheet white, Ned looked terrified, and Tony’s attention was glued on Peter.

“I’m enhanced, and when our old foster mom found out, she kicked me out and- and Ned and MJ went with me.” He continued, shaking a little. “We came here because it was as far from Nevada as we could get, and we could disappear in the big city. It’s not their fault, please. You can do whatever you want to me, but please, don’t take MJ and Ned.”

Before Tony could reply to the terrified teen he was now realizing he knew almost nothing about, the chubby kid cut in, stepping up and trying to look brave in a kitschy apron.

“Nuh uh, Peter. We’re not playing the martyr game, dumbass.” Ned crossed his arms, and Michelle gave Peter a playful shove.

“Both of us are enhanced as well.” The girl looked at them defiantly, but she also took a huge gulp of air and he could tell she was scared. Tony didn’t know that Pepper could look this shocked, but she managed to look even more taken aback at Michelle’s words. “And we’ve seen the current accords drafts.”

“How-“ Pepper tried to regain some control of the conversation.

“Doesn’t matter, but we know what they want to do to enhanced people.” Tony could feel the girl’s stare burning into him. “I’d rather die than become a weapon.”

“Yeah.” Tony sighed and rubbed his face. “It’s been hell trying to get that one away from Ross. But kids, we’ll protect you, even if it did go through. What kinda enhancements are we talking about?”

“I uh- used to be magic.” Ned started off, shuffling his feet a little. “I’ve also got a robot hand? And we’re all geniuses, if that counts?”

“I can remember everything.” Michelle said, short and clipped, before Tony can demand to see the robot hand or ask what “used to be magic” means. “There’s other stuff too, but you don’t need to know that information.”

“Um, and I uh- oh dear, I’m not quite sure how to say it.” Peter thought for a moment and then crossed to a wall. “I’ll just show you, I guess.”

And then, his intern walked up the walls and onto the ceiling. Someone made a ‘meep’ of surprise, and he wasn’t not sure whether it was him or Pepper. For a moment, it was just awestruck silence until Ned grabbed a broom and began to poke Peter’s crouched form- on the ceiling, his intern can sit on the ceiling??

“What have we said about shoes on the ceiling, Parker? Stop getting footprints all over my white walls! You shouldn’t have them inside, let alone on the walls, ano ba ang iniisip mo?”

As Peter began to sheepishly dismount, Tony had a startling thought.

“Wait a second- kid, are you that Spider-Guy?”

“Okay, well it’s Spider-Man, Mr. Stark,” Peter rolled his eyes and then seemed to remember himself. “And, uh, yes?”

“Absolutely not. You- you can’t just be a fourteen year old swinging around and-“ Tony was beginning to acquire some of Pepper’s earlier frantic tone.

“But Mr. Stark! I love being Spider-Man! I get to help people, and- and-“ Peter turned his best puppy dog eyes on Pepper and Tony, “The suit’s a part of me now. I could never give it up. No matter what you do, I’m always going to be Spider-Man.”

He seemed to find his confidence towards the end of his little speech and his jaw was clamped firmly shut. Tony was sputtering in shock, but Pepper merely let out a long, weary sigh.

“Fine.” She said.

“WHAT? Pep, you can’t be serious-“

“Let’s just say, I’ve heard the ‘suit is me’ speech a few too many times.” She cut Tony off with a very sharp glare. “Against my better judgement, I will not be calling anyone. I hate this, but I can see how it’s the best situation.”

Peter, Ned, and even Michelle seemed to swell with hope at Pepper’s words, though she was currently massaging the bridge of her nose with pinched fingers.

“But! There are going to be ground rules. You are letting us put better security on this apartment. All school emails will be forwarded to me, we are your new emergency contacts, and you will update us weekly about how everything is going. I don’t know how on earth you’re paying for stuff now- don’t tell me, I want deniability- but we’re paying for that now. We’re also doing more vegetables, and-“

“Thank you, miz-pottstark!! You’re the best!” Peter was beaming at her with a joy that could probably make Nick Fury smile.

“Don’t thank me yet, young man, I’m not done yet! I know that you already have an internship, but the other two of you.” She whirled to face Ned and MJ, who both snapped to attention like soldiers. “Michelle, you’ll be interning for me. It will be challenging, but you’re a smart girl and you’ll do well. Ned, I’m going to put you with the Head of Software at SI.”

ohmyGOSH.” Ned began, before MJ clamped her hand over his mouth, stopping a tidal wave of words from sprouting out of him. She too appeared excited, a tiny flush of red on her cheekbones.

“You, um, can call me MJ, ma’am.” MJ murmured, and Tony gaped at the unfairness of it all.

“Excellent. You’ll be doing your internships at the Tower at the same time Peter is. And Peter.” She turned back to Peter, who gulped. “You are not going to do Spiderman until we get you a better suit. I’m not letting you swing around getting shot at-“

“Oh, don’t worry Ms. Potts, I don’t just get threatened with guns as Spider-Man, it’s happened with school before! So really, I’m quite good at at!” He grinned at Pepper. Tony thought that this conversation may have worsened the arc-reactor's relationship with his heart.

“Peter!” Pepper did not seem to know what to say.

“It was like, almost a week ago. I’m so over it.” Peter babbled with a carefree wave, and Tony could feel his blood pressure rising. “We were at the roller rink, this guy came over, had like some knives and a gun, whatever, then we went to Denny’s. Ooh! I tried a grand slam, Mr. Stark, and it was so good! Have you tried the banana chocolate chip pancakes? They..”

As Peter began to ramble on about the specifics of the Denny’s menu, Tony turned to Pepper with a weary expression. “Are we allowed to microchip children? Can I do that?”

***

Later, after Pepper had finished setting up her strict guidelines for the three terrors, and Tony had set up some security at their apartment- he had wanted to fix all of the appliances, but Peter had already beaten him to it, the two of them rode back to the tower in the car. He couldn’t remember the last time they had spent so much time with each other without having a massive argument, and he had to admit he and Pep made a pretty great team in there.

“I have to say, I’m surprised you let up with still letting them live there.” He said, popping a blueberry in his mouth and staring up through the sunroof at the city lights above. “I could tell you weren’t satisfied with that.”

“Of course I wasn’t satisfied with that! Those kids need an adult around, and-“ She cut herself before she could get too riled up, sighing and smoothing down her skirt. “Point is, those kids are like stray cats. I’ve got to start slow, get them acclimated to the idea.”

“I should have known.” Tony laughed, and delighted in how Pepper’s eyes crinkled with laughter lines as she blushed. “Pepper Potts always gets what she wants in the end.”

He knew that they should probably talk about what all of this mean, question if they were making a mistake with letting three strange children live in the middle of New York on their own, how willing they were willing to get to these kids, but that could be another day. For now, Tony just sat in the back of the car with a warmth in his chest that had nothing to do with with alcohol and everything to do with Peter’s grin and the weight of Pepper’s head on his shoulder.

Notes:

okay so some of the Tagalog is google translate so it's likely extremely incorrect, sorry about that folks

“Hindi ko alam na marunong ka pala magtagalog. Ginagamit mo ba ito kapag kausap mo ang iyong pamilya?” - I didn't know you could speak Tagalog. Do you speak it with your family?

ano ba ang iniisip mo?- what are you thinking?!

__

woof, i got it out! i should hopefully be back on a slightly more regular grinf.

pepper and tony now know a couple of the many many secrets out there! at first i was planning the spider man thing to come out later, and then i was like, no god there's going to be so many chapters already of them just realizing shit i've gotta condense a little.

as for what's coming up....

some angst. yeah you know it. civil war events are going to come into motion soon, and more. as for how pepper and tony find out that the kids were in hydra, all i'll say is that natasha is involved, and there will also be a very dramatic reunion of bucky and peter. ;)

leave me a comment with what you liked/what you want to see/theories/jokes/commentary/whatever! again, i really appreciate all of the support, i'm bad at sticking to projects and y'all have really helped me.

Chapter 18: good days/bad days

Notes:

hi! so if you already read what was chapter 18 before, don't fret! this is chapter 18, but combined with another chapter I wrote for better flow and stuff.

the theme of this work is wildly oscillating tones, and boy howdy, this chapter certainly fits with that. I experimented with it a bit, but I'm on a roll now and hopefully will keep the update grind going.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The month following Pepper’s intervention was one of the best in Tony’s recent memory.

The three teens had gone from spending two days a week at the tower, to three, to almost every night bothering Tony. Peter spent the most time at the tower, but Ned and MJ were there almost as much, and the trio even stayed over for a weekend or two. Pepper too had pretty much moved back into the tower. Tony didn’t mention it to her, avoiding any acknowledgement of the situation, just like they both skated around the fact that they were now caring for three teenagers. He got to see Pepper with her hair messed up making coffee when he came down in the morning, and he wasn’t going to look too hard at it, for fear of it shattering.

He and Peter spent hours in his lab- and it was better than college, better than working with Bruce, better than everything. The feeling he got when he watched Peter figure out something, gush over a creation- it was indescribable. They finished building a new Spider-Man suit, and the only thing that kept Tony from becoming a nervous wreck when Peter swung out the first time were the aggressive safety features he installed and the hug Peter had crushed him in upon seeing it. Pepper found his fear of Peter going out in the suit hilarious, the traitor.

Peter’s friends, Ned and MJ were thriving as well. Michelle had an almost frightening level of competence, and Tony had never seen anyone as close to Pepper’s level of power. Michelle took her internship under his wife with a ferocity that had board members sweating, and it was fun to watch her grow more confident with each task she knocked out of the park. Ned was as bubbly as ever, and had finally started to lose the hero worship after a few days of watching Peter prank Tony or Pepper throw random food items at him. He’d given the kid and Peter some better materials- one day he’d get the story behind that metal hand, but until then he was just gonna make sure Ned had top of the line equipment. Ned too loved his internship- the frazzled head of IT came to Pepper a few days in and demanded to know where she had found the ‘monster’, and told her that they were back to the drawing board on the newest StarkPhone because Ned had found so many holes in it.

So somehow, his state of the art tower had become home to three rowdy teenagers and he was having to help them with their homework, go to bed at a reasonable time, and provide healthy foods. It was the height of insanity. But goddamn, he was having some pretty good days.

________

There were good days, and there were bad days.

Days where Peter would slink through the window, not let MJ or Ned see him, clean his suit, his body and watch everything run red, red red.

new york bleeds and peter bleeds new york bleeds and Peter-

Sometimes he wasn’t sure where the suit ended and the fabric of the city began. Sometimes he would let go of one strand and hand suspended in free fall over New York, his consciousness half-dissolved amid the noise of the people below, giving up his stolen identity to run into the city’s throbbing heart and feel free for just a moment.


Sometimes he glided on water tension, stretched high above the city on a tightrope formed of himself. He didn’t belong here. That was alright. He had always known that. He wasn’t sure he belonged anywhere.

________

“I swear to god, you guys. I saw Peter texting Tony Stark. The internship he’s mentioned a couple times, it’s got to be at Stark Tower with Tony Stark.” Flash hissed at the clustered Academic Decathlon Team, minus Ned, MJ, and Peter, who had all left early a few minutes ago.

“Flash, dude really? That’s insane.” Abe yawned, slumped into his copy of the practice questions.

“We know they’re like, secret agents or something, but there’s no way that Peter knows Tony Stark. That’s preposterous.” Liz rolled her eyes.

“No! I know I’m right. What about that one time where Peter got picked up in that fancy car? Or- or-!” Flash waved his hands around, becoming more and more agitated.

“You’re crazy. They obviously ran away from a tragic past and now live alone,” Becky began, with her teammates nodding around her. The general story they had arrived at P.D (post-Denny’s) was that the three of them were in SHIELD or the circus or something, and ran away to New York. Also, there was no way in hell they had actual foster parents- Peter was a really bad liar, and they all had crazy levels of independence. Becky wished her parents had mysteriously disappeared. It would be way easier to sneak out to Cindy’s to drink wine coolers that way.

Mr. Harrison, ignored as usual, coughed at Becky’s words.

“Oh, sorry Mr. Harrison, allegedly live alone, but anyway, them knowing Stark is just too farfetched. Stick to more believable conspiracies Flash, like the one that Lunch Lady Pauleen was the second shooter on the grassy knoll.”

“Okay but she definitely was though you guys, if you look at her hairnet-“

Everyone groaned as Flash continued on another one of his insane theories, and Betty shook her head. No, there was no way that Tony Stark knew who Peter Parker really was

________

Thanksgiving brought Rhodey and cold air sweeping through New York. The change in temperature affected Peter the most, who was extremely confused by everything related to the cold. Tony had to remind himself several times that Peter had lived in Nevada or other warm climates his whole life apparently, as the kid poked icicles with wonder and had to ask Pepper how to wear a scarf.

He hadn’t briefed Rhodey much on the situation at the tower as much as he probably should have, so Tony forgave his friend for his facial expression when the man stepped in. Instead of being met with a drunk or grouchy Tony, Pepper was swirling through the kitchen with a smile while an Asian kid in an apron gave her directions about the turkey, Tony was not nursing a drink or a hangover, a Black teenager was reading a book and stirring the cranberry sauce, and a boy who looked a lot like James might have was too busy hanging a leaf garland while standing on the celling. Yeah, he probably should have warned Rhodey.

“Rhodes! Good to see ya.” He pulled his stunned friend into the warm room and clapped him on the back a little harder than necessary. “Full house this year. Uh, Pep’s here. Kid in the kitchen is Ned, his cooking rivals Mama Rhodes, I swear. He’s uh, an intern here and the other two kids are too. Um, the surly one is Michelle”

Michelle answered his comment by flipping him the bird, continuing to stare at her book but Tony could see the corner of her mouth twitching into a smirk.

“Michelle, make sure you call her that, apparently only people she knows really well get to call her MJ-“

“Colonel Rhodes can call me MJ.” She looked up to grin at the two of them now.

“W-what?!” Tony spluttered, and Rhodey couldn’t help but crack up at his friend’s indignation. “B-but you just met him! Why?!”

“The difference is, Stark, I respect Ms. Pepper and Colonel Rhodes. That’s why they get to call me MJ.” Michelle attempted to keep the smirk off of her face, but loses it when Tony let out another gasp of indignation.

“Oh I like her.” Rhodey chuckled, and glanced skyward for a moment, before doing a double take. Ah, so he hadn’t seen Peter yet. “What the F-“

“Language!” Tony quipped, ignoring the small twinge of discomfort that came with the familiar joke. Rhodey turned his most unimpressed look on him, and he figured it was probably time to explain. “Hop down here a sec, Peter.”

Rhodey raised an eyebrow at the name, and a second eyebrow when he saw Peter’s face.

“This is Peter, he’s my intern.” Tony explained, ignoring the fact that Rhodes was currently staring at him like he was going mad. “Kid’s really good with math, but he’s also enhanced. He’s uh, the Spider-Man on the news. And before you say anything, I tried my best to get him to stop with the suit, but he was just too stubborn.”

Pepper looked up at Tony’s last comment, made weary eye contact with Rhodey, and the two of them burst into laughter.

“Hey! You’re all ganging up on me! Point is, we invited them over for Thanksgiving, so be on your best behavior around the kids, alright? Except around Jones, she can look out for herself.” He said with a careless hand wave, hoping he disguised how badly he needed this to go well.

“Damn right! Peter, you’re helping me set the plates. Ned stopped doing his annoying nervous pacing, so the potatoes and the lumpia are probably done.” She dragged Peter off to the table, as Ned complained about the accurate depiction of his behavior from the kitchen. Tony turned to his best and oldest friend, and waited for his response with bated breath.

“Well, it smells delicious. I can’t wait to settle in. Let’s go help with the table.” Rhodes said with a smile, and Tony found himself returning it as they sat down to eat.

________

There were days when he saved no one.

Sometimes Peter woke up and wasn’t sure if he had escaped or not.

(sometimes it feels like he never did escape- like he brings the cell with him wherever he goes- like oh god, if he opens up his eyes he’ll be back in the chair-)

On those days, he would trace his scars and shake and try to ignore how the bracelets hiding his barcodes felt like manacles.

_________

After an extremely miscellaneous but delicious meal, composed of American favorites, Filipino classics, Maria’s carpaccio, some green beans Rhodey brought, and a dish that Peter had made more marshmallow than sweet potato, Rhodey pulled Tony aside and asked to talk to him.

Glancing at the couch to verify that yes, super-hearing Peter Parker was asleep (curled up in between also sleeping Ned and Pepper), and MJ was otherwise occupied with the huge book Tony had snuck into her backpack, he stepped into the corner with Rhodes. Rhodey also looked over the living room, and something in Tony’s chest clenched. This was what he was waiting for- god, what was Rhodes going to say? Was he going to berate him for taking in three strangers? For being a bad role model to those strange kids? For-

“I can tell you’re doing that thing where you overthink everything I’m going to say.” Rhodey said, cutting off Tony’s train of thought. Tony rolled his eyes, but didn’t attempt to play it off. “I just wanted to say, I’m happy for you man. It’s uh, I’m just glad that you’re healing, from James and everything.”

Tony said nothing for a while, and Rhodey just gripped his shoulder for a while. He had thought about James often around the interns, and for a while he was worried that he was replacing his son, or something else stupid. But James was the sweetest kid in the world, and Tony knew he would have loved these three bright, smart kids.

“I don’t think the injury is any smaller. I still- it still hurts and I don’t think anything will ever fill that hole.” He looked down, clenching and unclenching his fist in an effort to get the words out. In the other room, MJ turned the page for the first time in a while. “But I think- I think I’m getting bigger around it. Losing a kid, you don’t heal from that. Peter isn’t my kid, but he’s a good one, and I dunno- these kids need someone to look out for them, especially Peter. I have no idea what happened to them, but it wasn’t good. I’ve had a shitty, shitty couple of years, and damn Rhodey I don’t want Peter to have to deal with anything like that. So I’ve just been, going with it, I guess, and somehow it’s gotten a little easier to get out of bed in the morning.”

Tony felt a sob hiccup out of his chest, and as Rhodey pulled him into a tight hug, he looked over his friend’s shoulder out at his strange little… family. Ned and Peter, looking so much younger in sleep, Pepper’s lips curved up into a smile. And Michelle, who looked lost in a wistful memory, but met his gaze and gave him a small, soft smile.

_____

Peter had always known he was living on borrowed time, known that since A-6- the metal arm squeezing, squeezing, squeezing, his vision blackening and his lungs screaming for air-. But it felt like everything here wanted to remind him of that fact. Sitting on the bathroom sink sewing up a gunshot wound, responding to a name that wasn’t really his, a name ripped from a story book, wondering what train ride home with his family was going to be his last. He didn’t know how long he would live even if he always dodged in time. Before Michelle, he saw other experiments be healthy one day and die the next. He was good at biology. He knew that the human body wasn’t meant to be made like this.

He also knew that HYDRA would find him one day. It was almost as certain as a sunrise. They created him, forged him, knew him better than he knew himself. They would find him one day, and Peter was terrified. For his friends, for himself.

______

“You guys have to believe me.” Flash’s voice had a level of desperation Betty hadn’t heard from him before. They had just violently triumphed over everyone at the State Championship (one team actually forfeited immediately after watching them trounce their first match), and were now sitting at a Denny’s (of course), enjoying a meal on Mr. Harrington’s dime. “Tony Stark and Pepper Potts were there.”

“Flash, when are you going to give this up? Why would two of the most powerful people in the world be at a Decathlon state championship?” Cindy groaned.

“They were there! They were wearing the most ridiculous, obvious outfits, how did you all not see? Abe, I pointed them out to you!”

“The weird couple in the back row none of us recognized but still cheered for us?”

“Yes!” Flash cried, his eyes lighting up in triumph.

“Oh, yeah. I thought they were like, random old people or something, I dunno.” Abe shrugged. “Certainly not the Starks, though.”

“Noooo!” Flash wilted, and Betty took the opportunity to steal some of his bacon.

__________

The longer he spent in the outside world, the more Peter realized he was missing.

On the bad days, he couldn’t talk to people- he would open his mouth and nothing would come out. He couldn’t sit still, or watch a teacher move without flinching. He locked himself in the bathroom and hyperventilated for a period and got frustrated when he just didn’t understand what all of their faces and jokes and expressions meant. There was a wall, as solid and real as the concrete ones he grew up behind, that separated him from everything out here- people, experiences, the whole world.

Peter was a freak. Maybe that was why he let Flash call him names. He was a freak who couldn’t understand people or how to shop in a grocery store or how to function. He was a freak who stuck to walls and had made other people bleed. Other kids had parents. He had Doctor, who was not a father in any way. Even Ned and MJ didn’t understand- they at least had at one point, a foundation of love and family.

Peter was alone

alone alone, always alone alone alone

_________

“I didn’t know you had a kid.”

It was two days after Thanksgiving, and Michelle had crept up on him while he was sleeplessly fiddling with a project. He froze, and said nothing.

“I’m sorry that you lost him.” She said, unperturbed by his silence. “You would have been a good dad.”

That startled a laugh out of him- an incredulous, hysterical thing.


“You would have.” She still said, in that entirely certain way of hers, and Tony wanted to cry. “And even if you weren’t, Ms. Pepper’s cool enough that she would have made up for it.”

Tony found himself giving her a small, but real smile. “Thank you, Michelle.”

She nodded, and moved to the door, before turning to look at him one last time.

“And it’s MJ, idiot,” and she strode out of his lab like she hadn’t just turned his heart inside out.

_________

It was a simple thing that made Peter believe he might be losing his mind.

He remembered the ocean.

With school and being Spider-Man, he hadn’t had the time to catch up on most stuff. He was used to not have a clue what his classmates were talking about, be it what the desert looked like or whoever Harry Potter was. They were in chemistry class and Abe had been excitedly talking about his family’s trip to San Diego, when he turned to Peter and asked-

“What’s your favorite beach, Peter?”

Michelle immediately cut in and said- “Oh, he’s actually never seen the ocean before.”

But he had.

He could remember it, with a certainty he didn’t know he could possess. He remembered the smell of salt- saltwater! The ocean was salty- the feeling of sand warm in between his toes, a breeze on his forehead. The tide sent gentle caresses to the wet sand one moment, and crashed against the rocks in an exclamation of water the next. It was blue, blue, blue and the foam was white and he was laughing and the sun was infant of him, sparkling off the waves in front of him, and there was something behind him- something important but he didn’t know what it was.

Peter threw up.

Michelle had managed to grab a trashcan right before it happened, and was currently escorting him out, but he could barely hear her quiet words. His ears were still filled with the sound of waves.

Had the chair messed with his mind? Was he going crazy? Was this all a dream? No, he could feel the blood thrumming around his skull with an almost painful intensity. The feeling was about the only thing keeping him from dissociating until he was a thousand miles away.

Had they taken one last thing from him- his mind, or had he- had he been someone before HYDRA?

He wasn’t sure what option was scarier.

But MJ was still staring at him worried, and he broke himself out of his panic to wave off her attention, insisting he was fine and even giving a little light laugh. He tried to shove the vision of the ocean deep, tried to focus on his splitting headache instead.

But now, in the quiet spaces, in the in-betweens, water swept into his ears and he swore he could smell salt.

Peter didn’t know anything. But he did know the sea.

________

It was one of the best months of Tony’s life.

Which of course, meant that it had to end, and end with a bang.

December 3rd. Lagos. The beginning of the end.

Notes:

WOO HOO BOYS WE"RE GOIN INTERNATIONAL! civil war begins!

tony: having a good time, I'm building good coping measures
rhodes: damn okay tony managed to find a kid that looks exactly like his dead son but he's not drinking so I'm not gonna say anything about it
debate team: hahah funny dennys antics
peter: every step may be my last, is my mind even my own

okay so a Lot happened in this chapter. some good bonding moments, peter's goin thru it, oh, and he remembered something! (or did he?)

any questions? I went kinda experimental with the format so I know some things may be confusing.

please let me know what you liked, what you'd like to see, or anything else of that nature! <333

Chapter 19: stars we can't see/nighttime in new york city

Notes:

IF YOU READ CHAPTER 18 YESTERDAY- go back and make sure that you've read all of it! I deleted it and added more content and republished it under the same chapter title. sorry about the confusion!

that's right, baby, i'm continuing the labor day savings event and bringing you the third chapter in three days.

this chapter is going to include mention of events from civil war. i have not seen the film, and i changed the details, so it may be a little confusing.

okay uhh this one is pretty Angsty, so buckle up cowboys.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It was two weeks before Christmas, and Tony was ready for the year to be over. Spending time around the holidays was delightful in a way it never had been before for some reason, but the Avengers managed to double the amount of gray hairs he had within days. First, the Lagos disaster, the other Avengers refusing to, even though Tony was the face of it and was going to get the bureaucrats to amend it. Apparently that wasn’t enough law breaking and crisis-causing for them, because then Rodger’s old war buddy blew up the goddamn Accords and a bunch of extremely important global figures. Instead of pleading the Winter Soldier’s innocence, Captain Fucking America then went on a rampage through a major city, caused still-unknown amounts of damage, and helped a wanted man escape justice. Something was fishy about the bomb situation, but dear god, proving Ross’s shitty point that enhanced people were dangerous and out of control to the entire world was absolutely not the way to fix things. And now, as with everything, it was up to Tony to clean up the Avengers’ messes. He was retired, goddamnit, but he had cleaned up many messes that were not entirely his fault before, so he guessed he would do this one too. Captain Rogers and the rest of the Avengers were likely to find some issue with his conduct no matter what he did.

Pepper and he had had their first argument in a while over it- ending in Tony sulking in his lab and Pepper eviscerating expense reports. She kept talking about the optics and reputation and stocks, and he just didn’t understand why she cared so much. Until Peter interceded, that was.

“She’s just worried about you.” Peter said matter-of-factly. It was after school, the day after the argument, and Tony was sulking in his lab, allowing only Peter to enter. The kid was sitting on the edge of a workbench- Tony had long ago lost the battle where it came to Peter not sitting on the tables- and swinging his legs in the air as he fiddled with a web shooter. “She cares about you, and she thinks that they don’t, and that they treat you badly. So she doesn’t want you to go to all of this effort for people who are just using you, and she doesn’t want you to get hurt.”

“Damn, kid.” Tony covered up his genuine introspection by throwing an oil rag at Peter, who giggled and caught it easily. “When did you get so wise?”

“Well, I was thinking about the first season of Glee, when Kurt joins the football team for his father, and thinks that his dad doesn’t-“ Peter began to ramble, and Tony chuckled, turning back to his work and letting Peter’s ramble- a mix of the Glee plot summary, a catalogue of pets he had seen as Spiderman, the antics of the decathlon team, and advanced molecular physics concepts- wash over him.

(He and Pepper bumped into each other later, and were summarily locked in a guest room together when Peter created a ruse and enlisted Ned’s help to hack Jarvis. The little terror gave them a thumbs up, and wouldn’t let them out until they talked to each other. And what do you know, communication is a powerful thing, and they both emerged an hour later with wrinkled clothes and the argument forgotten.)

But yeah, the Avengers. Wilson, Rodgers were involved in the clusterfuck in Europe. Rhodes couldn’t (and shouldn’t) get involved, Clint was retired (but they didn’t bother him!), Thor and Bruce helped destroy Tony just a little bit more and then disappeared, the combination of Jarvis’s voice and Wanda Maximoff (no way in hell was he going near her any time soon) kept him away from the compound and Vision. Fury was ‘dead’, Coulson was dead, and Romanoff had decided to fix the rot problem within SHEILD by firebombing it. So, he was pretty much on his own.

Well, technically, he had Natasha, who was very competent and also completely untrustworthy most of the time. He respected her, considered her a friend, but he wasn’t sure that she felt the same about him. She was extremely hard to get a hold of, however, always doing her stupid mysterious spy shit and saying that she would find hi or whatever and then disappearing. But the clock was ticking down, and if they didn’t find the Rogues, it was going to get a whole lot worse.

So he was sitting, frowning in his empty living room at the documents from Ross and trying to figure out how to solve this problem. Machines were always so much easier than politics and people. That was always Pepper’s strength, but he was enjoying his time outside of the doghouse and did not want to end up on the couch by asking her to help him fix the screwups of people she heavily disapproved of, right before Christmas no less. He would solve this problem alone.

“We need to talk.” Natasha Romanoff, as if hearing his thoughts (which was definitely a possibility), dropped from the air vent above and landed in an artful crouch. Tony choked on his coffee for a moment while she looked at him with an unimpressed expression.

“I have heart problems, Natashalie! And what is it with you people and air vents? Use the door like a normal person and stop breaking my shit.”

“I don’t plan on giving Ross any more intel that he has already.” She crossed her arms and smirked. “Plus, it was funny.”

“Ugh.” He had to admit, he had missed the bickering, the team, the Avengers, his friends, just a little bit. “Fine. Spit it out, Romanoff. I’ve got non-work plans later.”

She let a flicker of surprise cross her face at the fact that he wasn’t just drinking or tinkering or both, and Tony wanted to grumble at her for it, but he really did want this to go quickly. He and Peter were going to watch some stupid movie. “We need to be the ones to take them in,”

“Tell me something I don’t know. I’m not a spy, but I’m also not an idiot. What do you think I’ve been doing this whole time? I’ve been attending every goddamn stupid meeting these people have-“

Tony’s rant was cut off by MJ entering with a sandwich on a plate.

“Stark, sorry to bother you but Ms. Pepper wanted you to eat and knows that I’m the one that will force you to-“ MJ saw Natasha standing by Tony, and froze. He felt a little bit of triumph at the fact that there was at least one superhero that elicited the proper awestruck response from MJ’s angsty teen aura.

“Who’s the girl?” Natasha said, and if Tony hadn’t known her for years, he would have thought it was just a casual question. But he had fought alongside Black Widow, and he could hear the razor-wire under her words. Tony didn’t know what the fuck that was about, and he unconsciously shifted himself so he was a little more in between Natasha and MJ.

“One of my interns. She works with Pep.” He answers, with an exaggerated yawn and a careless hand wave. He also was not in the habit of revealing his weaknesses to Natasha, because god knew she already knew enough of them. He was so glad that Peter was not here, because he knew she would see straight through him the second Tony looked at that kid. He prepared himself for whatever comment she was about to make- shocked that anyone wanted to work with him, that he was tolerating an intern, or whatever else she was shocked about. But that wasn’t what Natasha said.

“You have a habit of making EX-HYDRA interns?” It took a moment for Tony to process the ridiculous statement, and he almost laughed until he saw Natasha’s completely serious face and the fact that MJ wasn’t confused- she was scared, glancing around like a cornered animal looking for an escape. His blood ran cold.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Tony was aiming for his usual joking tone, but the words come out harsh and demanding. “SHe’s a kid.”

“Please,” And now, Natasha rolled her eyes, like it was oh-so-obvious a conclusion, and bared her teeth in a shark-smile, “Going by the knife she just pulled out of her left boot, the way she sized me and the room up, her stance, her movements- everything points to her being either HYDRA or SHIELD, and I don’t recognize her.”

“She’s good, I’ll give her that.” Natasha offered after a moment of silence, her eyes still locked with Michelle’s wide brown ones. “I probably wouldn’t have noticed if I were someone else. But I’m the best, не так ли?

The Russian was sharp and hostile, Natasha took a step forward towards Tony, and before he could open his mouth to argue, or even blink, Michelle left her statuesque post by the door and went for Romanoff. There was a blur of frenetic movement, and in the back of Tony’s brain he registered that he hadn’t seen many people without combat enhancements stand up to Natasha this long, but it was over quickly. The spy had MJ in a headlock, her head pulled back, exposing a knife pressed into her jugular. The girl’s eyes were wild, and she was breathing heavily. A stalemate, as Tony tried to figure out what the hell was going on and what to do.

“Let go of her, right this moment, Romanoff.” Pepper strode into the room, and Tony was relieved, until he saw that her balled fists were smoking. Shit. Pepper had had a few flareups since Extremis- it wasn’t harmful to her in any way, but when she was truly angry, it reactivated and she got rather glow-y and hot. Well, she was always hot, smoking really, but the last time he made a joke about that while she was in this state, she punched a hole through his workbench. But Extremis in this situation was volatile, and there were too many unknown variables.

“She’s-“ Natasha began, looking a little less confident in the face of Pepper’s wrath.

“I heard you, and I don’t care. That is a child, and you will put her down right this instant.” Pepper ground out her words with ferocity, and the hardwood floors began to crack and char under her feet. MJ looked shocked- not at Nat letting her go, or at Pepper’s sudden fire powers, but at his wife’s defense of her. Pepper pulled MJ away, taking care to singe her hoodie and not her skin. She gently asked the girl something, to which MJ only nodded.

Peter and Ned chose that moment to enter- great, more variables in this fucked up equation- and the two of them tugged MJ to the back wall. Natasha’s eyes snapped to them as well, and Tony’s stomach twisted again.

“And who are they?” Natasha didn’t even attempt a veneer of civility this time, half hissing the words.

“Those are my other interns, and-“

“Also HYDRA.” Natasha actually sounded surprised. Tony started to protest, but she cut him off in a scoff. “You didn’t know, Stark? You’re retired, but that’s no reason to get sloppy. How did you end up with three HYDRA-trained interns? I can deal with your little pest infestation problem-“

“We’re not HYDRA.” MJ finally spoke up, sounding frustrated. “Not anymore.”

Tony’s heart dropped. There was no way, there was no way, what the Fuck was happening. A part of him wondered if this was just yet another betrayal, albeit one that might destroy him as much as Obadiah did.

“We would never, ever chose to be in Hydra. Please, Mr. Stark, you have to believe us.“ Peter pleaded, his face earnest, and Tony decided to let himself believe, even if just for a moment, that the kid was telling the truth.

“Wait- stop everything.” Pepper had regained control, and the traces of orange were gone from her pale skin. Her voice was careful, her face immaculately composed, and there was no way to tell what she was thinking. “Are you telling me that she’s right? You three were in HYDRA?!”

They nodded.

“Okay, start from the beginning. Let’s let everyone say their piece before we throw needless accusations at people.” Pepper shot a pointed glare at Natasha, who didn’t twitch. God, that woman was scary. Pepper looked at the three interns, before pointing at MJ. “Alright, MJ why don’t you tell us how three teenagers ended up in HYDRA.”

“We weren’t teenagers.” MJ was standing to attention, staring off into the middle distance like a soldier. She delivered each sentence matter-of-factly, like she was giving a mission report. It was disturbing. “I was ten, Ned was twelve. Peter doesn’t remember anything other than HYDRA and had been there for years when I got there.”

“And did they offer you something- why did you join?” Natasha asked, when MJ paused for a moment.

“You think we joined?” Ned, on the other hand, was showing a completely uncharacteristic anger, his clenched fists both shaking. Tony could tell there was fear there, too. “It took years for us to get an opportunity to escape. They shot my whole family in front of me. They threw us into a cell. They-“

Ned’s eyes were brimming with tears, and he stopped speaking.

“It’s alright, Ned. So what I’m hearing is that you guys were taken against your will? We understand, you’re not in trouble. You were- babies-“ At the last word, Pepper’s carefully gentle tone cracked with her fury, before she swallowed and regained her composure.

“Did they have you on missions? What training did you three get?” Natasha asked bluntly, making eye contact with MJ. Pepper looked like she wanted to clobber the spy with her Louboutins.

“They were training me to be- be a handler.” Natasha nodded, as if that was perfectly understandable. “So I got combat, arms training, tactics, languages. Ned’s good with computers, so they had him on tech. Peter- Peter was going to be- was trained to be an asset.”

“Why did they chose you?” He hated that they were letting Natasha barrel through this conversation with, oh my god, traumatized children, but Tony didn’t know where to start with any of this, and Romanoff at least understood the spy stuff.

“I have an enhanced memory, probably an enhanced mind as well. And I was an easy target. No one would ask if I was gone.”

“But you were a kid, what about your parents-“ Pepper was losing some of her careful composure.

“Not all kids have parents who want them.” MJ shot back.

“I never had parents at all.” Peter said, his eyes skyward as if he were praying. There was no expression on his face. “There was never anyone looking for me. I was in the dark, I was alone, and I didn’t have a name. There was never anyone who wanted me.”

Tony looked at the boy he would move heaven and earth for after knowing him for only a few months, and wanted to scream, wanted to hold him tight and never let go.

“You asked us, why they picked us. They uh, saw me doing magic, or- or something.” Ned broke the silence after Peter’s comment with a murmur, staring at his shaking metal hand. “And before you ask, I don’t know what it was really. When I got to the base, they- uh- they uh- cut off my hand and now I can’t do it anymore so it doesn’t really matter.”

Pepper made a small wounded noise and covered her mouth with her hands. He wanted to comfort her, but he was frozen in horror.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t always enhanced. They made me like this. I don’t know what did it- there were so many experiments, I don’t think they even knew what finally did it.” Peter finally spoke up, and Tony felt like he was the one with Extremis running through his veins with how hot his anger burned. How dare they do that to his kid-

“Where were you trained? What kind of missions did you go on? Do you remember who led the facility?” Romanoff was fully in her Black Widow persona, and ignored the kids’ flinches and Peter’s shallow breaths.

“That’s enough, Natasha.” Pepper turned to the spy and crossed her arms. “We will have this conversation later. Leave, and come back tomorrow.”

“They have valuable information, and I need to talk to Tony about-“

“They, are children and you have done enough damage here today. You can talk to Tony about bailing out your little terrorist friends later. Get out of my house.” Pepper’s voice was unflinching, and Tony was once again in awe of his wife as she managed to stare down the most powerful spy on the planet. Natasha gritted her teeth, but gave a sharp assenting nod and was gone as soon as she came.

There was a long moment of silence as Tony stared at the kids he realized he didn’t know as well as he thought he did, and he made nervous eye contact with Pepper.

“We’ll go.” MJ, back ramrod straight, was still staring at the floor.

“We’re so sorry, we didn’t mean any harm, and we wanted to tell you but-“ Ned was wringing his wrists.

“It was so hard to find the right words, and, and I really liked it here,” Peter continued, sounding more miserable than ever.

“Kids,” Pepper began, and the three of them immediately stopped talking, staring at her with watery eyes, and shit, Tony felt like he might need to go back to his cardiologist. “You don’t have to say yes, but can I give you a hug?”

The three of them, including the eternally-imperturbable MJ, look shocked. Ned was the first to pick his jaw off the floor, and gave her a small nod, and Peter tugged MJ into it as well. Tony hated how awkward it seemed to be for them- at their age, he certainly wouldn’t have had a hug from his father, but he had received some when his mother was around.

“You’re- you’re not mad?” Peter spoke up after they broke away, glancing back and forth between Tony and Pepper nervously.

“Oh, I’m furious,” Tony said, causing the three kids to lose their momentary calm again and Pepper to shoot him a glare. “Ah f- sorry, not at you, of course. At HYDRA. I’m furious at HYDRA. I’m just glad you’re safe.”

He shuffled his feet, shoved his hands in his pockets, and swallowed a lump in his throat. Look, he wasn’t good at the touchy-feely stuff, alright? Peter seemed to understand him though, and gave him a small, watery smile that made Tony want to cry.

“So- so we don’t have to leave?” Peter’s voice bloomed with a fragile hope.

“Leave? Oh no, young man. I am not letting the three of you out of my sight for the next year. I’m sending Happy to get your stuff from the apartment and you guys are moving in here.” Pepper gave a breathy laugh and crossed her arms. “Absolutely no objections, this is the safest place for you.”

“Yeah, have pity on me. I’ve got heart problems!” Tony let out a weak chuckle, but was surprised to see no objection from the very independent interns. Okay, they were moving into his house, he should probably stop calling them interns. Pepper and he should probably talk about this, right?

“Oh my god, when was the last time any of you went to the doctor?” Pepper suddenly exclaimed, bringing her hand to her forehead.

“Uhhh…” Ned said, which was enough of an answer.

“I made sure we didn’t get refeeding syndrome and I made us all take a bunch of multivitamins.” MJ muttered, defensively crossing her arms. The fact that they had to worry about refeeding syndrome made Tony want to shove them at a buffet and then faint, but he was sure his wife was probably the best one to handle this.

“And you did a great job, MJ,” Pepper said soothingly. “But you need to see a doctor, and a dentist, and make sure you have all your vaccinations.”

“And if you’re worried about paperwork and enhancements,” Tony added when he saw MJ worrying at her lip, “I’m rich. I can get the best doctors who won’t say anything to come to the tower tomorrow, and I have Helen Cho on retainer.”

“Oh my gosh! Dr. Helen Cho? She’s amazing, I love her work!” Peter, that absolute nerd, squealed. "If I let her do doctor stuff, do you think she'll sign my copy of her doctoral thesis?"

“We’ll deal with all of that tomorrow. We do need to have one more talk today, though.” Pepper was back to her gentlest tone as she waved them in the direction of the couches in the living room. “You three… I can’t even begin to imagine what you went through. And you don’t have to say or share anything you don’t want to, but Tony and I are always here if you want to talk about anything, alright? At some point, you should consider talking to someone about some of it. It can be really helpful. I know that I talk about it with my therapist, and it helps me.”

MJ blinked in recognition at Pepper, and there was a moment of tense silence before Pepper nudged him in the ribs, before shooting him a look that said ‘now’s your time to be an adult and give good advice’.

“Uh, what she said.” He managed, and was rewarded with another flat look from his wife. “Uh, Pepper’s sorta, the good cop on this one and I’m the bad one? You ever read Goofus and Gallant, she’s- wait, you guys are way too young for that. You can talk about your issues, or you can push them deep down and throw all of your energy into obsessively overworking yourself?”

“I pick that option.” MJ nodded at him in respect, and Ned and Peter also looked interested in his proposal. Pepper held her face in her hands and groaned.

“Er- I mean, it’s not great, and sometimes, y’know, you build a murder robot,” He tried.

“Cool! I love murder robots!” Ned cheered.

“Talking and feelings are weakness and a waste of time, repression and overworking are where its at, got it, Mr. Stark.” Peter jotted down his words on a notepad he had pulled from nowhere.

“No!” He cried desperately, trying to get control of the conversation again. “What I’m trying to say, is that therapy is good and if you can’t talk to a stranger yet, you can talk to a uh- um

Three teens stared back at him, for once actually listening to him.

“A um- mentorrr?” And, flubbed the landing. MJ raised an eyebrow at him, seeing right through his struggle. “But yeah, if there’s anything you want us to know or anything that you need, let us know.”

There was a long moment of silence, and Tony watched Peter absentmindedly play with the bracelets he always wore around his wrists.

“Um, well we have enough bedrooms for you each to have one, and nice beds-“ Pepper began, before the teens whipped up their heads, the tension back in their shoulders again.

“You- you can’t make us sleep in separate rooms.” MJ furiously shook her head as he shot Pepper a concerned glance. “And I’m not going to sleep in a bed. You can’t separate us.”

“Okay, let’s talk about this.” Pepper, lovely, gentle Pepper, said ever-so-carefully. “Why no to different rooms?”

“We were in Cell for a long time. And when they took one of us, they took us to hurt, and we didn’t know- if they would come back.” Peter whispered, his voice far off, disjointed. It scared the fuck out of Tony. He had scrunched his body up and his eyes were utterly glassy where he stared at the floor. Was the kid, remembering something? “I don’t want to be alone in the dark anymore. I- hated it. It was so dark before Ned and MJ…”

“We were in a twelve by twelve concrete cell with no lights and a single bare mattress in it, and it was still preferable to us.” MJ stared at them, daring them to question her, but as she continued, her voice grew less and less sure. “They used to take Peter all the time, to do their experiments, and he would come back and I would clean the blood off of him and when Ned was gone, they took his hand, and we weren’t there to protect him. When we got our barcodes, we were alone too. There were plenty of times were we waited in the dark and wondered if the person in the other room was still breathing.”

She took a steadying breath, and Ned slung his arm around Peter’s small shoulders.


“I have to be there. To protect them. If I’m not, they- they could get hurt.”

Tony didn’t know how to process any of the information that had come out of the fourteen- christ, these kids were barely fourteen- year old’s mouth. He had a numbness in his limbs that mirrored his experiences with shock, and knew that he would collapse later and probably lose it. If they weren’t in the house, he would be about halfway through a bottle of whiskey right now. He had known terror, he had known grief multiple times over, and he would have given anything for Peter not to have experienced that pain. He blinked, and found that he had been tearing up, and cleared his throat to speak.

“Yeah, yeah you guys can share a room. That’s okay. Um, it’s been a long day. Do you want to keep talking, or do you guys want to head to bed?” Pepper was frozen besides him, so when they nodded assent to going to bed, he pulled some blankets and led them to the biggest spare room. He wished them goodnight, and then shut the door behind him. They probably had all of those paranoid spy nighttime rituals that Clint and Natasha had, and it was best to leave them alone for now.

He walked back to the couch, paused a moment, and then wrapped Pepper in a hug that she wept into. It was a wild before she was able to catch her breath enough in between sobs enough to speak.

“I just, Tony, those poor kids. They’re babies, and- how could anyone do that? How could they?” She was wildly oscillating between despair and rage, and he felt her skin begin to heat up under his touch.

“Shh, love. I know. I- hate it too. But they’re safe now. They got out.”

“But what are we going to do, Tony? How can we help them- we’re certainly not the poster child of stable adulthood.” She let out a bitter little laugh. “We- we haven’t been parents in years.”


“I know. I don’t know what I’m doing either. But they need someone, and we’re there, and- we’re better than nothing.”

“God, what did they do to Peter? I wish I could kill every single one of them, I wish I could have found him when he was small and taken him away from there. God, he’s so small even now, I-, What if they took him like someone took James, and- If James had gone through something like that I-“ She choked, and balled her fists in his t-shirt.

“Don’t torture yourself, Pep.” Tony stared at the tile and wanted a drink. “James- they didn’t have him long enough to make him scared like that. He was always a brave boy, remember? Rhodey tried to be the fun uncle and scare him with stories of the monsters under the bed, and James just wanted to make friends with them.”

Another wet laugh from Pepper, and Tony found his lips twitching up in a smile.

“Yeah, god, what a beautiful, brave boy. I uh, listened to the report remember? And they said he was drugged, he- he didn’t feel any of it- the cops said it was like he had just gone to sleep, remember?”

“Yeah. Yeah. Like going to sleep. He wasn’t scared at the end.” Pepper repeated, like a mantra, like a prayer. Tony was familiar with it- that fact was about the only thing that let him close his eyes at the end of the day- the idea that James didn’t feel it, that he had just fallen asleep in the end. They sat on the couch for- Tony didn’t know how long it was, an hour, two? Or maybe they had been sitting here for the last seven years. He wasn’t sure, only that the digital clock on the oven was blurring in front of his vision.

“We should get to the bed. We’ve got three teens to whip into shape in the morning, after all.” Pepper said with false cheer, and Tony assented, barely noticing in his tired fog, that for the first time in a long time, the left side of the bed was once again filled by his wife.

James, James, James, he found himself silently pleading with the universe, please tell me it was like falling asleep. I only ever wanted you to see the stars, never the darkness. Tell me you just fell asleep, bambino.

And on the other side of the tower, Peter Parker found himself murmuring a lullaby he never remembered learning, but always managed to send him to sleep.

Ma tu suonn d'ate cose

E chissa se t'arricuord

Che tra a luna e mieze e stelle

Lo t'aspette a braccia aperte

___

(but you dream of something else

and who knows if you remember

that among the moon and the stars

i wait for you with open arms)

Notes:

the lullaby is the same one he sang in the cell :)
THEY GOT A HUG FROM AN ADULT! wooHOOO

so pepper and tony know a little bit more! knowing about 10% of it made them keep the interns home a few days from school and move in permanently, and they also fell apart a little. I wonder what knowing more of it, and knowing that it wasnt as easy as falling asleep for James will do to them. :)

our first avenger being here physically! i haven't seen natasha in anything since i watched the first avengers movie years ago, so i have absolutley no idea if this is an accurate depiction of her. i don't think shes cruel/bad here, i think she's understanably anxious about hydra/betrayal and sees an opportunity to gain important insight, and she sees the trio more as agents then normal children. And it is true- they aren't normal children.

peter: no one ever looked for me
tony: unconsciously looks for his dead son in everything

mj,ned,peter: they found out, they're going to kick us out or put us in jail
pepper, sobbing: im Putting you in bubble wrap
tony: don't know how to describe my feelings but boy howdy do i not feel good.

i truly know nothing about bucky barnes or captain america. my exposure to marvel is just spiderman homecoming and the first avengers movie and angsty tony & peter fanfics. sorry if i beefed any of it!

did you guys like the chapter? this one is a little stressful, because I'm dealing with characters learning a lot of emotionally charged info that the audience already knows, and the international events of a movie i have not seen and a wikipedia page i have barely skimmed.

leave a comment! leave a joke/question/limerik/what you want to see/what you liked/complaints/feelings/reactions! i can't explain how much each comment means to me. I read every one, and i try to reply to every one, but it gets hard with life, and I'm trying to focus on pumpin out the story.

Chapter 20: december 16th

Notes:

yeah, i'm back. the fourth straight day. i believe i'm having a manic episode so I'm making the most of it let's goooooo

Okay! this chapter is short because I wanted it to be as easily skippable as possible, because dear lord is it Dark.
There will be a summary at the beginning of the next chapter, and please skip it if you think it may be harmful to you.

I would like to stress again, this chapter upset me as I was writing it, please take care. You won't miss anything if you skip it.

some of this dialogue does not belong to me! some of it I borrowed or tweaked from the transcript of civil war!

CONTENT WARNINGS- (scroll past if you want to avoid spoilers!!!) the siberia fight, description of two adults being murdered, but the big thing is that there is the description of a video of a child being murdered, and a parent reacting to that.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Tony grimaced as he began to rocket towards what little of the concrete he could see beneath the snow It had been less than twelve hours since he, Vision, Rhodey, and Natasha went to Germany and helped destroy an airport. The Rogues had all escaped, the UN were losing their minds, Peter was mad Tony didn’t let him come help, and he hadn’t gotten any sleep.

Tony didn’t care as much about being knocked on his ass by former friends in front of the entire world (okay, he maybe wasn’t too happy about that), but with every time Roger’s little merry band broke the law, new laws restricting enhanced people got added to the accords, and Peter’s future got just a little more precarious. So yeah, they had stolen Tony’s tech, not worked with him on any of the accords, ignored the plea deals he spent several sleepless nights arranging, and generally been the largest pains in the ass he had ever met. Also, Wilson broke Rhodey’s leg, and Wanda broke Vision’s heart (?), so he was not inclined to forgive them any time soon.


But he had turned on the tracker in the SHIELD, and set a course for Siberia immediately, because Steve was right (ugh, he hoped no one ever knew that he had thought that), and Barnes didn’t blow up the Accords.

His body hurt, he had a headache, and something in his suit was jangling. He was getting too damn old for this.

***

“If it’s any comfort, they all died in their sleep,” Zemo’s accented voice crackled over the speakers.

Tony shivered. Even this deep into the lab, he could feel the chill of the cold in his bones. Zemo continued to monologue, but Tony’s attention phased in and out. He was so, so tired.

“I’m here because I made a promise.” Tony jolted back into focus. Here because of a promise. How many times had he seen another sunrise because he promised Pepper to get JARVIS to cut him off? How many times had he promised Rhodes to be more careful, promised Happy he’d come back? But there were other promises, that he’d broken. He told James he would always be there, hadn’t he?

“I lost everything.” Zemo continued. That, Tony knew too. “And so will you.”

“An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again. But one which crumples from within? That's dead forever.“ His metaphors didn’t make sense, and neither did the lack of gunfire and attacks and missiles Tony had come to expect from the end of villainous threats. What was the game here?

He could hear machinery whirring, and feet from where he, Barnes, and Steve were standing a screen flickers to life. He almost made a quip, but he then saw the date. And then he saw the road. The pit in his stomach formed before the connection in his mind.

DECEMBER 16th, 1996

“I know that road. What is this?”

What the fuck was Zemo playing at? Was Tony going to have to watch Howard’s drunken driving, watch the impact of metal that took his mother away? Steve recognized it too, judging by the way that he was nervously glancing at him in Tony’s peripheral vision. But he wouldn’t take his eyes off of the screen for a moment.

The car crashes and Tony winced. It happened faster than he was expecting- he thought the event would have slowed the air down around it with the weight of it. But there was a flash, and then the car was crumpled around a tree.

And that’s when Tony saw him. Howard, and the Winter Soldier.

“My- my wife.” Tony was used to flinching at his father’s voice, but never because of how weak it sounded. “Help her. Please.”

The Winter soldier grabbed Howard by the hair, and the street was dark and the camera was shitty but Tony could still see the streaks of blood running down his face.

“Bucky- Bucky Barnes?” Howard sounded confused, smaller than Tony had ever seen him. His father was pleading. Tony could barely recognize him, and he hated it more than all of the roaring arguments combined.

“Howard!” Maria screamed. No, no, no, she saw this?

Barnes gave no indication that he had heard her. The Winter Soldier punched Howard in the face, once, twice, and Tony knew what breaking bone sounds like, knew because of Howard and that night just before MIT, and that punch shattered something. Howard was dragged by his hair, his limbs utterly lifeless. His father was unrecognizable. Barnes put him in the front seat and laid his head down on the wall- like he’d fallen asleep at the wheel, like he’d just fallen asleep-

Maria screamed.

Barnes moved to her, then, and Tony wanted to close his eyes more than anything. Her face was bloody too but the first thing he thought when the camera focused on her was how much he missed her. She didn’t scream again, not even as the hand gripped her throat, a freezing-fear in her eyes Tony knew well.

It took a while for his mother to stop breathing. He watched her face pale, spittle leave her lips, her body jerk uncontrollably. It took so long that he was glad, glad when the light left her eyes and Barnes finally put her down.

A gunshot on the screen, but Tony wasn’t watching anymore. The only thing keeping him upright was the inflexibility of the armor. His face was wet. He didn’t remember when he started crying.

“Tony-“ Steve was trying to say something to him, before the hiss of the intercom interrupted him. Good. Tony didn’t want to talk to Captain America. Where was Captain America, when Barnes was murdering Howard Stark? He was angry, he realized. He wanted Barnes to hurt, he wanted-

“We’re not done yet gentlemen.” Tony had expected to Zemo to sound gleeful, executing whatever insane plan this was, torturing him in a way that even Afghanistan didn’t. But he didn’t. His voice was devoid of emotion and it just made everything seem that much more senseless. “That wasn’t the only generation of Starks killed by Sgt. Barnes.”

Tony didn’t understand what he was saying. It was very uncommon for Tony Stark to not get something, but in this bunker, he didn’t understand anything. The screen clicked to a new video, much more recent based on how much better the picture quality was, and his heart stopped beating when he saw what was being filmed.

“Wh-“ Tony wheezed “That’s- that’s my house. What- I-

And that was his son. James, alive again for one more glorious moment (he had seen every piece of video with his son so many times that he had them memorized, and this one was new). James, outside in the fading twilight, was fiddling with a telescope Tony had gotten him for Christmas. Tony had forgotten about that telescope.

James’s little face went from delight to terror as Barnes stepped out of the shadows, placed a metal hand over the boy’s mouth, and took Tony’s son away.

No, no no no no no please god no,

The screen went black, and all Tony could hear in the empty bunker are his own harsh breaths. It was the worst thing he had ever seen- the fear on James’s face. And god, the monster was right there. His metal arm- that same dammed arm-

Before Tony could move, the screen turned back on and the static was like the sound of a guillotine dropping. Inside now, Barnes’s shadow was magnified in the low light so that it took up the entire wall of whatever facility they were in. In front of Barnes was his son- bleeding from a cut on his forehead, bruises mottling his freckled skin. His baby, his baby, why wasn’t he there- Barnes moved a step forward and Tony had the revelation that he was going to watch his son’s eyes close for the last time.

“Stop.” He managed to whisper. His lips felt numb. “Stop.”

Someone barked out something in Russian, and the Winter Soldier grabbed his son-

“Stop, please, I’m begging you, stop.” Tony sounded like Howard, at the end. He sounded like his father.

The Winter Soldier picked up James by the throat and held him in the air. It wasn’t like with Maria- James’s legs couldn’t touch the ground so they kicked feebly- he was wearing those little light up sneakers, the same ones they buried him in- and Barnes still had his hand around his kid’s throat and Tony’s beautiful, chatterbox son couldn’t speak and-

It went on a long time. Tony didn’t know where he was or how long it had been. His baby was dying in front of him and there was nothing he could do. It took a long time to choke a child to death. just like falling asleep, like falling asleep, but he felt it and felt it and felt it. Tony wanted to close his eyes but couldn’t.

James stopped moving towards the end, so Tony didn’t realize it had already happened until Barnes let him fall to the floor.

He had thought that the worst thing in the world would be watching his son’s eyes close for the last time. The worst thing in the world was realizing that his son’s eyes never closed, even as Barnes stepped away and he lay there unmoving.

Barnes didn’t shoot the camera out this time. The picture lingered, and Tony stared at his son’s face and couldn’t pretend that James just fell asleep.

Tony finally turned away. He shut his eyes, but the vision of the body, his son’s half closed eyes, floated in his vision like light spots after looking at the sun for too long. He wanted to never shut his eyes again. He wanted to shut his eyes forever. There was more to the video, but he’s throwing up, falling to his knees and retching bile onto the floor. Steve raised a hand as if to touch him but hesitated. There was an awful noise, a wordless scream that crackled with anguish like he had never heard before. When he bit his tongue and the iron of blood filled his mouth, he stopped hearing it.

His suit pulled him upright. The room was spinning, and Rogers’ lips were moving but Tony couldn’t understand anything he was saying. He felt like he was going to die. He didn’t care.

He saw the arm, just ahead of him, saw the last thing his son did, and wants to destroy it.

Rogers has pulled him back before he can reach Barnes.

“Tony, Tony.” Rodgers was murmuring. The suit was beeping at him too, telling him to calm down. He charged again.

“This won’t change anything”

“I don’t care. He killed my mom. He killed my baby.” Tony was screaming by the end of it. James, James, my baby I’m so sorry

“It wasn’t him, Tony. HYDRA had control of his mind!”

“Move.”

“It wasn’t his fault! Nat told me about those kids- they were hydra too, you should understand. ” Steve Rogers was looking at him with those too-earnest blue eyes and Tony hated him. “It wouldn’t be— what was his name- Peter’s fault if HYDRA forced him to kill someone.”

“Don’t you ever, ever talk about Peter to me. He’s a kid. And none of your business.” It struck Tony that this was a very preplanned, thought out argument, and his blood went icy. He turned to Steve with a lurch.

“Did you know?” He asked, and god, was it silent.

“I didn’t know it was him.”

“Don’t fucking bullshit me, Rogers! Did you know?” Tony screamed. did you know, steve? did you know that James didn’t go to sleep and that his eyes never closed and it wasn’t Howard’s fault at all and his mom had died like his son and stark men are made of iron and his father is dead and his mother is dead and his child was taken and he has spent years at the edge of a cliff in Malibu mourning and he wakes up with grave dirt in his eyes and maybe he should have jumped. Did you know, Steve Rogers? did you know that the man you screwed the world over to save took everything from me.

“Yes.” Captain America said.

The world goes white.

Notes:

yeaaahhhhh uhhhhhmmm.
sooooo.........

what did you think? 👉👈

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don't worry, next chapter picks up with tony. i don't like, leave you hanging and then go " hmm beach episode with the decathalon kids" (oh actually maybe i should do that as a chapter someday), or "the decathalon kids make a queer-eye for supervillians and their first makeover is crime master"

--

sorry if this seems rushed at all! i'm the kind of person where if I don't write/ publish things when i have a modicum of motivation (which doesn't happen often), it will never happen. I may read this tomorrow and freshen it up a bit

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i don't have any jokes about this chapter i think this might be the most upsetting thing i've ever written and the, like, 4th chapter had a twelve year old lose his hand.

--

i hope you all are well! leave a comment with what you think! thanks for sticking with me!

Chapter 21: the last and first snowfall

Notes:

helllooo!

short chapter for today, a bit fragmented but i think it works for what's happening.

leave me a comment with your thoughts! i hope i balanced the emotions of this situation competently.

summary of the last chapter- The normal bunker scene, but after the clip of Tony's parents, it plays a video of Bucky kidnapping James, and Tony watches Bucky kill his son in the same way he killed his mother.
When Tony finds out that Steve knew, he whites out, and the chapter ends.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Tony realized that he was going to die after about an hour of lying in the snow.

He wasn’t sure what tipped him over the edge- was it when his toes lost feeling? His fingers? For a moment, the old Tony came back and he thought about what he could do to fix the suit- but the wind howled and stole his warmth and his mind with each biting caress of cold. He tried to remember what he needed to fix the suit- copper… and iron? There was copper and iron in his mouth, but not enough, not enough.

He had turned off his tracker. He told no one where he was going. His suit was damaged beyond repair. He couldn’t sit up with the weight of iron pressing him down, even if he wanted to. Barnes and Rogers had left him to the long death.

Tony had thought that the cold would have numbed his pain, eased the aches and sent him off to a gentle sleep- eyes open never closing, but he was wrong. Tony’s sternum still painfully protested every wheezing breath, his injuries still almost as loud as the wind, and his heart- his heart-

“Fri? What day is it?”

“You flew through the night and arrived in Siberia at 4:32 Am, December 16th, sir. It is now 6:45 Am, December 16th.”

For a moment, he was seventeen again, crying into Obie’s shoulder, stuck in freefall, cursing his father’s name and calling out for it at night. The vision of the crash washed over him- the man who wasn’t Howard, couldn’t have been Howard, and his mother, Maria dead all over again.

But it didn’t matter. What day it was wouldn’t have changed anything. His parents were still dead. James was still dead.

Regardless of the number on the calendar, this was the day he would die.

“He’s my friend.”

“So was I.”

He had never wished for Stark men to be made of iron more than now. He couldn’t begin to organize his thoughts- each one disappearing in a blizzard of agony. Steve Rogers had wrenched apart Tony’s ribcage and pulled out his guts.

he knew he knew he knew he knew.

Tony Stark was a man of facts, and they were- Steve Rogers, his father’s greatest creation, knew that his parents and son had been murdered, and did not tell him. Steve Rogers let him blame Howard, a man who loved Rogers more than life itself, for a few more years, and used Tony’s money to shield the man who killed his child.


Steve Rogers had brought his shield down on Tony’s heart and left him shattered, to die.

“That shield doesn’t belong to you.”

“Daddy look I’m Captain America!” James, carrying a cardboard shield and wearing a blanket cape and a baby-teeth smile, “I’m the bravest man anddd I protect my friends and my country and I never tell a lie and I beat up all the bad guys!”

“You don’t deserve it.”

His father, slumped over ocean maps, attempts at recreating the shield, one hand supporting his head and the other running a finger along the frame of a young Steven Rodgers

“My father made that shield!” A plea, a damnation, a prayer, a curse.

When Steve dropped the shield, Tony expected it to echo, to shake the foundations of the concrete. It was the thing that took his childhood from him, his father from him, will soon take his life from him. But it barely made a sound.

Steve still left. Like everyone. And the shield has long since stopped wobbling, but Tony swore he he could still hear it trembling in Steve’s retreating footsteps.

my baby my baby my baby is dead oh god oh god didn’t fall asleep his eyes never closed god god why wasn’t I there why didn’t I protect him he was scared he screamed he was so scared and in so much pain my baby my baby he killed my baby

—-

Tony had never understood why the color of death was black. He’d always thought white was the better choice.

White like a bloodless face. White like the hand-chosen lacquer of torpedos and missiles and weapons. White like bone. White like the powder that once constituted the walls of Sokovian homes. White like a bleached tile. White like the sheet draped over his son’s face. White like baby teeth.

White like snow.

“It’s so pretty, Mr. Stark,” Peter had said, staring up with a rapture and wonderment that made Tony dizzy. They had been on a walk in Central Park, and it had started to snow. “I’ve never- I- it’s snowing! It’s snowing! I’m alive and here and it’s snowing!”

He had giggled, and continued to spin as his lashes clotted with flakes. Tony hadn’t known then, Peter’s past, and attributed the kid’s glee to being from warm weather and just never seeing the snow before. Still, even then, watching Peter, his curls dusted in white, a smile that could split clouds on his face, made Tony tear up, and he was glad Peter was too focused on running his fingers in fascination through the snow at his feet.

They were alive, and it was snowing. It was one of Tony’s favorite memories.

He wished he had gotten to show James the snow. They had always said they would take him, but life got in the way. Tony wondered if his son could see that first snow of the year, in Central Park with Peter, from wherever he was. He wondered if a part of James lingered in one of the billions of spiraling flakes, and he wanted to cup his hands and catch them all and hold them close, but he was too warm and the delicate specks melted on contact with him.


The living were too warm, and too alive for snow, for white. He would never be able to hold snowflakes with him, never be able to make that moment with Peter last forever, never show his son the way that it seemed the very air danced in a snowstorm.

At some point, he knew he broke Barnes’s arm. He hated it more than he had hated anything, and he had annihilated, and he felt nothing.

He stared at the remnants of the limb next to the shield and felt nothing.

“Sir, would you like me to send video feed of today to Ms Potts? It is the only way for you to be located before your body reaches-“

“No.” He managed to gasp out, instead of ignoring this question like he has all of FRIDAY’s others. She can’t see- she can’t see this. Never, never. She couldn’t hear it- Tony wanted his eardrums to shatter, become irreparable, so that he wouldn’t hear his son screaming anymore. He wanted his eyes to cloud over, he would blind himself if he could move his arm, so that he didn’t see his son’s final moments anymore. Pepper could never see it.

Pepper, Pepper. Even thinking about her filled him with warmth. He was so, so hot, like fire was searing his way across his skin. He wanted to take the suit off, take everything off and not feel this.

“Fri, fri I gotta- it’s too hot-“ He panted, but no matter how much he strained, the suit wouldn’t budge.

“Please stop moving sir. I believe you are suffering from paradoxical undressing, which is a symptom of severe frost-“ Friday’s voice cut off with a fizzle, dead. After a while, the fever burned out, and he was left with cold once more.

He was alone. But Tony Stark knew loneliness almost as well as he knew death.

It smelled like vomit and blood and injured metal.

Tony couldn’t feel anything anymore, not even cold. It was soon, he knew.

All that was left was for Death to come for her merchant.

As he lost what remained of his consciousness, he wondered if they’d let him out of hell, if only for a moment, to see James one last time.

“Do you remember them?”

“I remember all of them.”

I dont want to remember I cant do this I cant remember please god let me stop seeing it please god let me forget afghanistan and the crash and the sound of Howard’s bones breaking and mom’s scream and new york and death, death, death and the battles and that he didn’t fall asleep and the cliff in malibu I can’t breathe for an instant with these memories

Can he? with the memories sitting on his chest? can barnes breathe?

“That’s… that's the end game. How were you guys planning on beating that?”

“Together”

“We’ll lose.”

“Then we’ll do it together.” liar

There was a bright light, shapes swirling, a figure leaning forward, the snow catching the yellow light and magnifying it in a halo.

“James?” He managed. A last word, a last prayer.

“Who’s James?” A voice- Peter- said, and Tony slipped into the white-black of unconsciousness once more.

Notes:

phewf! we are out of siberia!

thanks for sticking with me through some extraordinarily depressing chapters.

Now it's recovery/comfort/fluff time baby

Also, I just wanted to say how much I love seeing the same people coming back to comment on each chapter, I love it, and seeing your users pop up puts a smile on my face!!

you know the drill- leave a comment! what did you think of this version of events? any predictions? :D

Chapter 22: macaroni art

Notes:

this is the christmas special

okay so this one is silly and fluffy bc it's been a lot of oof chapters. (and the next one is Dramatic so I decided to give you guys a treat)

people loved the decathalon team, so they're making an appearance here! I tried a text message section for the first time and damn those are hard. i hate formatting and trying to write in a gazillion different voices.

cws- none needed except i think i mention an animal head at some point??

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

It was a few days before Christmas, and Mr. Stark still hadn’t woken up.

The tower floated uncomfortably between moods- he could tell that Ms. Pepper was trying to keep their spirits up, forcing them to eat big dinners together and decorate the tree (Peter had gotten to put the star on the top!), but he could tell even she was devastated by her husband’s condition. What had become their home was full of light and warmth and holiday spirit, but Mr. Stark hadn’t woken up, and Peter hated it.

He was so excited to have his first ever Christmas, but it wouldn’t be Christmas if Mr. Stark wasn’t there.

So he sat by Mr. Stark’s bedside, unpacking decorations for Pepper, working on last minute presents, and trying to forget having to carry the broken and bloody form of his-

It was so close. If he hadn’t begged Ned to hack into Mr. Stark’s systems, if he hadn’t told Pepper as soon as they tracked down his location, if he hadn’t been able to carry Mr Stark into the medbay- Tony would have died. Even now, they didn’t know if he would wake up. He was pretty sure the others were trying to forget too, in their own little ways.

Ned stress built, stress baked, and stress coded- resulting in several completed lego sets, a kitchen full of Mr. Stark’s favorite cookies, and him finishing all of Mr. Stark’s to-do code for the newest line of Stark products. Pepper refused to be more than a few rooms away from Tony, but was furiously throwing herself into her duties as CEO and trying to clean up the Accords mess. And MJ-

A day after they found him, MJ asked Peter to reassemble the remnants of the armor they had pulled off of Tony. Peter took one look at the crumpled metal, the copper smell of blood still pungent despite all of the metal, and told her frankly that not even Tony Stark could put that back together. But she soothed him, and told him that she only needed the suit’s computer and AI back online. It took him awhile, and as soon as FRIDAY chirped back into consciousness, he fled the lab that felt so empty and wrong, not bothering to ask MJ why on earth she had needed to do that.

He probably should have, because she came out of that room with anger he had only seen at the lab before.

“Peter.” She said, and her voice was indistinguishable from monotone of the lab too. “I’m going to be out- may take a few hours to a few days. Look after Stark.”

Her jaw clenched for a moment, and then she continued. “Make sure you, Ms. Pepper, and Ned stay in the Tower, and don’t let anyone in but Rhodes or Hogan. Oh, and no one is to look at any of the Iron Man data, or go in the lab. I’ll be back soon.”

She was gone before Peter could argue, but he would just have to trust that she knew what she was doing. And she did, because four hours later she slid back into the tower just as Ms. Pepper strode out of her office with wild eyes.

“MJ. Why did I just wake up to the news that Stark Industries is temporarily halting funds to the Avengers Initiative?” Pepper demanded, but MJ just stared at the floor. “Why did I call my lawyers about the Rogues only to have them very confused and tell me that I had already told them to halt a legal defense? Did you do something?”

“I- I couldn’t let them get away with it.”

“Get away with what?” Pepper’s eyebrows furrowed. None of them had any idea of what had happened in Siberia, and FRIDAY kept claiming that the information was unknown or sealed. Peter knew that Ms. Pepper, like MJ, hated not knowing things and desperately wanted to know what had happened to Tony.

Guys-“ Ned interrupted, his eyes wide and frightened. He pointed to the large TV, which was on a breaking news screen, before sliding to the story-

TONY STARK IN CRITICAL CONDITION/ FOOTAGE LEAKED

“W-“ But Pepper’s words were cut off by the video.

A silent clip, of Mr. Stark lying in a sparking suit in the cold, of Captain America bringing his shield down again and again onto Tony’s chest- Peter whimpered, and Pepper grabbed his hand- the clip cut, and then there was footage of Iron Man laying in the snow, in his broken armor, with Steve walking away.

The news cut back to two news anchors to discuss the footage, but Pepper waved a shaky hand.

“That’s enough. Jar- FRIDAY, turn it off.” She said wearily, blinking back tears. “Michelle, why?”

“They were smearing him in the news, and he was in bed and looked like that, and we don’t even know if he’s going to wake up again” MJ spat out, clenching her hands in fists, before she took a deep breath and finally looked up from the floor to make fierce eye contact with Pepper. “So I fixed the problem. I didn’t give them the whole info, just made them stop saying stupid shit.”

“Okay, MJ.” Pepper finally said after a tense silence. She looked even more tired, and tentatively wrapped his arms around her, surprised when she reciprocated the hug. “But no more spy stuff, or news, or hacking into things or threatening people-“

“I didn’t threaten that many people that much,” protested MJ.

“Is it really hacking if their security is that bad?” Ned tried, and Pepper merely laughed.

“No threatening, no hacking, you two.” She wagged her finger. “It’s Christmas, and we’re going to make hot chocolate and watch movies. Which holiday movie are we watching? Oh, you can each pick one and we’ll make a marathon of it.”

She plopped onto the couch, Ned cheering and diving into a bean bag Peter had broken at least three times, while MJ perched on an armchair.

“Elf, obviously!” Ned crowed. “My family used to watch it every Christmas, and it’s the best one!”

“You’re incorrect, idiot. The best Christmas movie is Die Hard.” MJ crossed her arms at Ned’s affronted protests. “John McClane could easily terminate the Elf guy.”

“That’s not what Christmas movies are really-“ Pepper tried.

“WRONG! Elf has Christmas magic and SANTA on his side! McClane is a gonerrr!” Ned shot back, and Pepper sighed as they continued to bicker.

“What movie do you want to watch, Peter?” Ms. Pepper turned to him with a soft smile that made him feel like his heart was made of sunlight.

“Um, I don’t really know any, but uh- I’d love to watch your favorite!” He was tentative, but was rewarded by her face losing the last bit of tension she was trying to hide, her eyes crinkling up in the corner.

“Well,” She said tentatively. “Every year at Christmas, we did watch Miracle on 34th Street. It was Ja- his favorite.”

(Was she about to say James? He still wasn’t sure who James was. Mr Stark mumbled it a few times in his sleep. He knew Mr. Rhodey’s first name was James, but Mr. Stark never called him that. He was going to ask Pepper about it, but MJ shot him a warning look before he could.)

Her eyes looked sad and far off, so Peter took her hand and squeezed. Pepper blinked and returned to attention. “Yeah, I haven’t seen it in a while. Let’s watch it, shall we?”

Even though Ms. Pepper laughed at Elf, cheered at Die Hard, and had that small soft smile for the final movie, she still had that same sad look in her eyes. By the halfway mark, Ned was snoring softly and MJ had disappeared to finish a book- and Peter dared to snuggle at her side. She roped her long freckled arm around him, and he had never felt safer.

“I believe… I believe… It’s silly but I believe.” The little girl in the movie was saying, and as Peter drifted off into sleep he could feel Pepper’s body against him silently shaking with sobs.

***

AC/DC CHAOS SERVERR

DEC 24, 8:21 PM

lizallenn1: hey, did one of you leave a weird package at my doorstep??

ding.its.abe: MERRY CHRISTMAS!! 🎄🎁

sin_d_moon: you got one too liz?

bettybrant: Sorry guys, I can’t practice right now. Someone gave me proof that the police captain of our precinct is corrupt and this story is going to make my career!

ding.its.abe: ☃️🎅

lizallenn1: abe, emoji later. Did one of you leave a package with an $1800 dress that’s no longer made on my doorstep?

lizallenn1: (image: a poorly wrapped sequined gown)

Lizallenn1: whoever it is tell me because my dad thinks some guy sent me it and he’s super overprotective

sin_d_moon: maybe the same person that got you that got me this

sin_d_moon: (image: of a scruffy cardboard box, in front of it, two heavily warning labeled canisters, and some knitting needles and yarn off to the side)

bettybrant: ???

sin_d_moon: thats a canister of pure sodium and ammonium nitrate.

ding.its.abe: 💥🤯💣

sin_d_moon:awesome- I can do that experiment I wanted to do

sin_d_moon: not awesome- my parents are taking away my twitter because they think I joined a terrorist group :/

sin_d_moon: the yarn and stuff was sweet though. I’ve always wanted to try it

bettybrant: Cindy both of those chemicals are sooo illegal if you don’t have a license. I can name like, 50 bombings with ammonium nitrate explosives alone.

sin_d_moon: I know! That’s why it’s been so hard to get!

lizallenn1: DID you join a terrorist group?? I’m pretty sure they don’t let you go to nationals if you’re a terrorist, Cindy!

lizallenn1: you can do terrorism or whatever after the season, but not until then!

sin_d_moon: No!! I keep trying to tell my mom that army twitter is a kpop thing, not a violent militia thing, but she won’t listen 😭

lizallenn1: and I thought my gift was weird. Wait Betty how did you get the proof??

bettybrant: A flash drive in a package disguised as a Christmas present! Very smart. Obviously someone recognized my journalistic ability and knew that I would be able to do justice to the story.

Ding.its.abe: just the flash🔦 drive? 🧐

bettybrant: Okay, also my favorite gummy bears but that was probably to help with the gift ruse.

Ding.its.abe: speaking of flash📸 where is he 🔎

lizallenn1: he’s always the first to respond

theflashthompson: sorry guys. cant talk right now. i cant talk about it.

lizallenn1: Okay.

sin_d_moon: ugH flash is being a drammaaa queen again! What gives, I thought you would have come up with like, 4 different conspiracies theories again.

Theflashthompson: Ha. Maybe the old Flash would have done so- but, but now I’m different. Older. I wish I could go back to before, but everything’s changed. None of you even understand the real world, the harsh world.

ding.its.abe: @mj flash is monologuing in the group chat again, come yell at him!!! 🦹🏾‍♀️

lizallenn1: flash you better not have given me this dress to ask me out or some weird shit. I’ll take it but I’m not going any where near your car when you call it the sexmobile

Theflashthompson: I understand- you guys don’t understand. And how could you? You’re normal, blissfully ignorant of what lies right in front of you. But I can’t say anything more about what I received, what I was chosen for- it would put you all in danger. I shouldn’t even be saying this right now, but I feel like you should know the truth before I disappear.

bettybrant: oh god we’ve reached maximum tin foil fedora.

theflashthompson: I’ll just say- I was chosen, chosen for a destiny. Did I want it? No, I just wanted to be a normal guy- but sometimes fate just picks you and it’s something you have to do, to protect what you love.

theflashthompson: also “the tinfoil fedora” is my conspiracy YouTube account, you guys should really subscribe I’m doing something special when I reach 100 subs.

bettybrant: Flash you talk constantly about how you would do anything for superpowers

lizallenn1: and we’re not looking at your vlogs.

theflashthompson: They’re highly researched video essays, Elizabeth! And also- you guys can’t tell anyone- but I was given proof that alien life exists

ding.its.abe: we live in New York dude. Alien life destroyed my living room. My mom thinks she saw Thor at her pilates studio once.

theflashthompson: Someone high up gave me an alien artifact, probably a weapon of prophecy, and a classified document that the CIA has killed over, based on the BLOOD on the file

theflashthompson: (image: a bodega grocery bag with a thick CLASSIFIED file with red dots on it, next to a glowing stone)

lizallenn1: Oh no

sin_d_moon: uhhh should we call someone? Flash is like, literally the worst person to have an alien artifact.

theflashthompson: No! The government is in on it! I was Chosen for this burden!

nedinthechair- hey sry what’s happening? MJ’s finishing throwing knives so she told me to check the gc

nedinthechair- making dinner, not throwing knives. Sorry, stupid autocorrect

nedinthechair- also the red dots in that picture aren’t blood. Blood doesn’t dry like that, and the texture is wrong too. If I had to guess I’d go marinara sauce.

lizallenn1- we all got really weird packages and we’re trying to figure out who tf sent them.

nedinthechair: …

nedinthechair:…

nedinthechair: @peter.nomiddle.parker

ding.its.abe: mine wasn’t that weird. I got an ungodly amount of fortnite vbucks and a new pet :)

theflashthompson: I’m the chosen one… none of you can get too close to me…

bettybrant: What kind of pet, Abe?

ding.its.abe: Normal! Why so curious?

sin_d_moon: I saw you hug a rat once

ding.its.abe: the rats here are like two feet long! That’s basically a small dog!

lizallenn1: Abe we’ve had this discussion before. Just because a rat is huge does not make it a dog.

bettybrant: Don’t let him dodge the question- what kind of pet it is?

ding.its.abe: It’s a raccoon! 🦝 He’s absolutely huge, and he’s only got one eye, but he’s super sweet.

ding.its.abe: (video: an extremely large one eyed raccoon is hissing and chasing Abe’s mom around the kitchen. Abe laughs and the creature hops into his lap)

bettybrant: that’s 100% rabid

ding.its.abe: he’s not! He bit me once and I’m fine so we’re good! :)

nedinthechair: that’s not how rabies- nevermind.

theflashthompson: WAIT! That’s the Evil Raccoon of West Queens!

sin_d_moon: the what

ding.its.abe: he’s not evil!

theflashthompson: SPIDER-MAN’S GREATEST RIVAL!

nedinthechair: LOL @peter.nomiddle.parker do you agree?

theflashthompson: (image: screenshot of a tweet from a Spider-man fan account. it reads-

Spider-man’s most deadly enemies- which has he lost to the most times?

3. The Rhino/3 Losses

2. Tombstone/4 losses

1. The Evil Raccoon of West Queens/14 losses

A picture below shows Spiderman attempting to rip the same large, one eyed raccoon off of his face)

sin_d_moon: Spiderman was beaten by a raccoon? Told you Cap was better

bettybrant: nooo he’s problematic now. Have you seen twitter??? He’s like, almost cancelled. I no longer stan

sin_d_moon: see I would have known that if my stupid parents didn’t think I was a stupid terrorist

nedinthechair: it’s Spider-Man

theflashthompson: It’s spelled Spider-man, and this is no regular raccoon. Spider-Man has given him to the authorities at least 17 times, but he gets out every time! Grandma’s can’t leave their pies on the window anymore! People leave their trashcans outside in the hopes the Raccoon won’t strike them! He did his biggest crime yet a week ago when he stole the entire Christmas ham from a church charity meal!

lizallenn1: Okay we get it it’s an evil raccoon. We’re still no closer to figuring out what this is about!

ding.its.abe: he’s not evil! Just misunderstood :( don’t be mean to him 😔

mj: I am back from violence.

nedinthechair: she meant cooking! haha phones r so weird! Anyway mj go make Peter check his phone

peter.nomiddle.parker: Hey guys!!! Merry Christmas Eve!!! It’s Late!!!! You should be in bed or Santa won’t come!!!!!!

theflashthompson: Peter, buddy, you Can’t make it this easy.

mj: Silence, Eugene.

(ding.its.abe pinned a message)

sin_d_moon: wait MJ how did you even get that username? I thought they had to be three characters and there’s no way that wasn’t taken anyway.

llizallenn1: do you even have to ask

bettybrant: we all know what it’s going to be

ding.its.abe: WAIT I WANNA SAY IT

mj: Crime.

ding.its.abe: CRIME

ding.its.abe: damn I wasn’t fast enough

nedinthechair: anyway, MJ and I didn’t get a package, which is strange. What about you, Peter, did you get a package?

peter.nomiddle.parker: hahah no. and maybe you’ll get your gift later!!!!!!

peter.nomiddle.parker: Also Abe, that raccoon is more powerful than the NYPD lockup and I think you might be the only one able to handle him!!!!

civilian acdc

DEC 24, 9:05

sin_d_moon:so we’re like, 90% sure that it was one or all of them, right

lizallenn1- oh absolutely.

bettybrant:my money is on Peter.

bettybrant: MJ would get us, like knives or nothing

ding.its.abe: TRUE

bettybrant:Ned is too socially aware

bettybrant: but this reeks of Peter’s strangely endearing insanity

sin_d_moon:okay but HOW did he get all of this stuff?

lizallenn1:I’ve just decided to not question it.

lizallenn1: it’s easier that way.

lizallenn1: Otherwise you’ll end up like flash

lizallenn1:and none of us can pull off a fedora

theflashthompson: I accept that they gave you guys your packages, but there’s no way Peter gave me this powerful artifact and documents

theflashthompson:and also this slightly melted candy bar

ding.its.abe: and I love my raccoon 🦝 :)

ACDC CHAOS SERVERR

DEC 24, 9:10 PM

bettybrant: So are we to believe that you didn’t give these gifts, Peter?

peter.nomiddle.parker:No! It was probably Santa dropping stuff off early!!!!

nedinthechair: so you didn’t give anything to mr. Harrington?

peter.nomiddle.parker: okay I gave One thing to Harrington

nedinthechair: uh huh

peter.nomiddle.parker: I didn’t want him to feel left out!! and remember when he was saying that he wished we still did the pig head dissection in bio but it was too hard to source?

lizallenn1: oh no

peter.nomiddle.parker: well he was right!!!! It was hard and super gross!!!! I found one though, and he left his door unlocked so I just put it in his living room with an anonymous red Christmassy message above it!!!

ding.its.abe: BRUH

mj: let me sum this up

mj: you left a pig head- unfrozen or frozen?

peter.nomiddle.parker- unfrozen, he said that freezing it affected the chemical processes he wanted to study. Plus the butcher had like, just cut it off and I didn’t want to wait any more

mj- Okay, so unfrozen pig head, actively bleeding, on the floor of his apartment, with a message written in blood-red

ding.its.abe: 💀💀

peter.nomiddle.parker: It’s a Christmas color!

nedinthechair: and it was signed by no one?

peter.nomiddle.parker: I wanted him to think that Santa gave it to him because he seems sad all the time

mj: this seems reasonable to me

ding.its.abe: Oh btw guys I’m renaming ERWQ to Terrance 🦝

nedinthechair: I can deal with a pig head, but that’s ridiculous

ding.its.abe: Ter-bear for short! ❤️

***

In the week following Siberia, Peter spent the most time in one room since the cell. He refused to leave Mr. Stark for more than a few hours- the only time he left the tower was to deliver presents to his school friends- and was always within running distance, spending most of his time curled up in an armchair besides the bed they had him in.

Ms. Pepper told him that talking to people in comas could help bring them back, so Peter had been talking till his throat was sore. It kept him from crying, at least. It started out with the usual stuff he would banter back and forth with Mr. Stark with, but it felt wrong without Mr. Stark ruffling his hair or snarking. Peter eventually just landed on thanking the man, talking about how much Mr. Stark meant to him.

He talked about how much he loved everything they did together- from investigating rare elements to burning pasta in the kitchen. He talked about how he’d never felt more safe than when he was at the tower. He talked about how Ms. Pepper was so brave and even though she was really sad she was still taking care of them. He talked about how his favorite new thing outside of the cell- not ice cream, not Spider-Man- was Tony Stark.

There were things he didn’t say, however. A few nights in, it started to snow and he felt his mine torn in-between those two emotions- joy and devastation. The cold reminded him of the way they found Mr. Stark, that horrifying moment where Peter thought he was dead and the world fell apart, reminded Peter of the smell of blood and the frostbite that threatened to take the inventors fingers and all he could think was that he had never held Mr. Stark’s hand.

But it also reminded him of that day in Central Park, when it was just him and Mr. Stark exploring, and he had seen snow for the first time. And it was incredible and he had never felt more alive- but it was something else on that day that he held more dear. When Mr. Stark sat down on a bench, Peter ran over and bought a hot chocolate. The kind woman at the cart told him to take one for his dad too, and Peter just nodded at her with wide eyes. Your dad, your dad. It had happened a couple times- people mistaking them for father and son, and Peter savored every moment. He’d never had parents, HYDRA experiments don’t deserve parents, but- for a moment, he could almost pretend that he had them in Tony and Pepper- and they were the best in the world, so he was lucky in that aspect. He clutched the memories of curling into Ms. Pepper’s arms, laughing with Mr. Stark, all of it, so gently and close to his chest, like he was holding a baby bird. He wanted all of that feeling of being wanted and loved, wanted every drop of it, but he was afraid of pushing it too far- of making Pepper and Mr. Stark realize that he was bad bad bad, and a nobody, not even human.

It had been a week, however, and Peter was desperate. The doctors were starting to have whispered conversations that Peter couldn’t help but overhear, and Mr. Stark’s chances got worse with each day he stayed in the coma. Peter padded into the kitchen to escape the medbay, but he was greeted with the site of Ms. Pepper’s curtain of beautiful red hair as she hid her face in her hands, leaning into the countertop like she couldn’t keep herself upright. She didn’t even notice him as he quietly left.

“Um, Mr. Stark? I haven’t really done the whole Christmas thing before, so I don’t know if I’m doing it wrong, but, could you come back for Christmas? It’s my first one and you promised to celebrate it with me. It won’t be Christmas if you aren’t there.” He swallowed around the painful lump growing in his throat. “I really, really miss you. So do Ned and MJ even though she won’t admit it and Ms. Pepper really misses you. And I’m trying to look after DUM-E and U but they miss you too. I- You have to come back. Please Mr. Stark. You’ve already given me so much, I don’t really want anything, not even the biggest lego set in the world. Just for- for you to be okay. So come back, please? I- I don’t know what I’ll do if you don’t. You have to come home for Christmas.”

He rubbed the MIT sweatshirt (he’d grabbed it off a workbench, and loved it because it smelled like motor oil and it was just the right size of too-big) across his face and got up to leave, pausing in the doorway for a moment.

“I love you, Mr. Stark.” Peter said, so softly that even if the man was awake, he may not hear it. Then the boy turned and went to dream of Christmas morning.

***

They’d opened up most of the gifts, and Peter was in the kitchen helping to clean up the remnants of Ned’s ambitious breakfast project. Peter was happy, he was very happy! Opening gifts with his family-he had a family, and even thinking of that word made him tear up- was amazing, and he was proud that Pepper had liked his gift. He’d gotten her a photo album filled with pictures he’d taken with the old beaten up camera he fixed his first week in New York and screenshots from the blackmail folder FRIDAY (who liked Peter more than anyone else) kept. He’d frantically second guessed himself after finishing the album, and googled “what do you get your respected older figure who isn’t your mom but she gives great hugs and you live with her and you’d like her to be your mom but also you’re a former assassin and you don’t know if she’d want you or not”, and the answer seemed to be macaroni art. So there was also a large, hyper realistic replica made entirely of dry pasta of the painting he saw her staring at when she took them to the MET a few weeks ago.


But Mr. Stark wasn’t there. It was Christmas, but how could it be Christmas when Mr. Stark was laying in a bed with horrible injuries and he wouldn’t wake up.

Peter broke the plate he had been scrubbing a little too viciously. He should probably go check in on the living room again- see if Ms. Pepper wanted another cup of coffee. He padded out in his Christmas pajamas- paired with the MIT hoodie that had made Ms. Pepper do that sad little smile again- into the living room.

Pepper was hugging someone. Pepper was hugging Mr. Stark. Peter stood in shock for a moment, watching them break apart while quietly saying something, wondering if he was still dreaming. But then Mr. Stark laughed, and Peter found himself rushing forward.

With a thump, Peter curled himself around Mr. Stark’s torso, and the man let out a little oof and ruffled his hair and Peter tried to keep himself from crying but he couldn’t help but tear up.

“Woof, buddy, watch the ribs,” he said, sounding amused.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Peter dropped his iron grip in favor of pressing his sniffling face into Mr. Stark’s side.

“It’s okay. Aw- Kid, why are you crying? Don’t cry”

“I missed you and you wouldn’t wake up and-“ Peter hiccoughed, unable to finish his sentence. Pepper and Tony exchanged a look. Mr. Stark bent down so that his eyeliner was level with Peter’s, and Peter couldn’t help but scrutinize every line of his face, memorize it and verify that Mr. Stark was Here and alright.

“I’m okay, bambino. I’m right here. Pep told me that you’d been keeping me company. Thanks for that.” He offered a soft smile. “I’m sorry I missed your first Christmas, Pete.”

“You didn’t miss it!” Peter blurted, “Ned is gonna make dinner! And you have to open up my present.”

“You got me a present?” Mr. Stark cocked an eyebrow, and relief washed over Peter at the familiarity of the gesture. “Is it more frighteningly realistic macaroni art? I’m actually kinda worried about how accurate that is actually-“

“No, no It’s um- well I couldn’t really wrap it, because it’s not done yet and it’s not really physical,” He mumbled. Mr. Stark’s eyebrow rose further. “You um, mention Jarvis a lot, and I knew how much he meant to you, so I met with vision and Friday and they helped me extract his base code, and I looked at it and I know I can get him back together again. I’m working on the code and I’m going to fix him! It’ll take a while, but, but I’m going to bring him back. Uh- sorry I hope that’s alright.”

Mr. Stark’s lips were slightly open- the man who could talk his way out of anything suddenly speechless. Peter worried that he had screwed it up somehow, that he’d done the wrong thing and ruined everything, but he was cut off by Mr. Stark sweeping him up in the best hug he thought he’d ever had.

And as the snow fell outside, Peter Parker had his first Christmas with his family.

Notes:

this was just the chapter of my love language is gift giving huh

peter's love language: leaving shiny objects and dead things at your door like an overzealous kitten
mj's love language: taking out your enemies and threatening people
ned's love language: baking

abe fucking loves emojis. the decathalon team has a separate groupchat without M/N/P to analyse the insane spy shit.

pepper is Straight Up Not Having a good Time

and if you're like "oh wow tony's okay after that" don't worry he's absolutely not. he and pepper are masters at this point at suffering internally and putting on a good show. Did he tell pepper what happened? absolutely not.

Right now the only people who know that 1. Tony had a son. 2. Bucky Barnes killed that son. 3. Steve Rogers knew 4. Tony had to watch and that's what they fought over , are Tony and MJ.

mj: i'll watch this clip so i can track down the rougues and beat them up
mj after watching it: oh i am out of my league and i don't know how to handle this

if you guys want to know other gifts given in the Stark household or peter's reasoning for any of the gifts he gave/how he got them, let me know in the comments.

Let me know what you thought of this chapter. It was hard to do abn emotional scene with two people when one of them isn't talking and the other one is an emotionally undeveloped child. i'm also jsut not good at peter's pov and I like outside perspectives more. next chapter is gonna have a Ned POV section!

Chapter 23: маленький паук

Notes:

okay sooooo its an oof chapter today, and a huge one at that. i think it's between 6k-7k words?

i'm tired and I haven't proofread this so I'll probably fix up any little mistakes tommorow-- i jsut wanted to get it out tonight.

CW (spoilers): it could be construed as suicidal ideation?/ extremely vague, undetailed reference to possible sexual assualt.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Ned knew that there was more about Siberia that Mr. Stark wasn’t telling them.

The man was paranoid, flighty, and it was by the grace of everyone else in the tower being familiar with trauma responses that there weren’t any big flare ups. Peter had wisely hidden the Iron Man armor and the shield - Captain America’s SHIELD, and Ned got to TOUCH it!- from sight, and they didn’t ask Tony about anything that happened after the first day when, after a single light question, he had a panic attack and all he managed to get out between gasps was “fight. I threw the first punch”.

So they didn’t ask after that, and tried to ignore the way Mr. Stark kept rubbing his chest and turning up the temperature to a sweltering level.

Overall, Ned supposed it wasn’t that bad, but if Mr. Stark was struggling in the controlled, safe environment of the tower, how would he deal with- nope, they were going to take this one day at a time.

A week after Christmas, the controlled environment of the Tower became not so controlled when two Avengers dropped out of the ceiling vent when Ned, MJ, Peter, and Mr. Stark were playing Uno. (The last resort, after Ned used his hand to cheat at poker, and MJ wanted to use a knife in Rat Slap)

Ned's first thought had been-Oh my gosh that's Captain America!!! and Black Widow!!!!!. He knew he shouldn’t still be amazed in their presence, but Ned was a teenage boy and there were two AVENGERS! In the room with him! He seemed to be the only one even slightly excited to see them, and Mr. Stark had even gone catatonic, his whole body stiffening and his eyes glazed over, like a dead man walking. Ned immediately sobered and schooled his expression to match the frowns MJ and Peter were wearing.

“Tony,” Captain America said. Mr. Stark didn’t even look at him. “We need to talk.”

In the silence, there was a thump and two more bodies fell out of the air vent, landing crumpled in a heap.

“Sam, what the hell man?” The smaller man groaned, rubbing his back beneath his quiver- it was Hawkeye!

“Look, I flew planes. I don’t know how to do this circus shit. No room to spread out in there,” The Falcon grumbled back. Black Widow’s eyelid twitched in irritation.

The noise seemed to jolt Tony out of his spaceout, and he while he remained still, his eyes darted furiously around the group of Avengers. “Oh, so you brought the whole family, huh? Where’s your little pet witch, and-“

Tony gulped, seemingly unable to finish his sentence. Captain America hastily took over, adding “The others are… not here.”

Strangely, that made the billionaire seem to relax, if only a tiny bit. Ned wondered who the others were. Scarlet Witch and… Ant-Man? Did Mr. Stark have beef with Ant-Man? Flash would know. There was silence for a moment, the other Avengers waiting for Tony to say something, and Tony refusing to say another word. Man, Ned did not like when Mr. Stark wasn’t his usual snarky, chatty self. It felt like a tomb in here, Tony a ghost of himself.

Ned surreptitiously checked his phone, thinking that this was perhaps one of the Bad Situations he was supposed to contact Pepper for. To his dismay, it looked like the Rogues had somehow shut down everything in the Tower but the power, and were running some sort of software to block wireless access to the internet. Ned could get past it, obviously, but not without possibly attracting attention. Glancing towards the windows, he also noted that the steel alloy plating that covered all access points to the penthouse had activated. They were locked in. No wonder MJ was so jumpy besides him.

“We need to talk to you, Tony.” Captain America tried again, scooting closer to Tony, who jolted at the proximity. MJ pulled a .40 cal Glock from somewhere in her clothing- when and why and where the FUCK did she get that- and pointed it squarely at the American hero’s head.

“You get any closer, and I shoot.” She said, her voice remarkably calm for how much Ned knew she must be freaking out. Shit, what had set her off enough for her to carry a weapon again? “Serum won’t fix a bullet in the brain. And I don’t miss.”

“She really doesn’t.” Ned added, to be helpful. Steve Rogers stepped back. Ned couldn’t help but sigh in relief.

“Wise move.” Black Widow muttered, and MJ lowered the gun to her side, never taking her eyes off of Captain America. Ned knew she could raise it and fire in under a second- MJ with a gun was dangerous even if she wasn’t currently pointing it at you.MJ period was dangerous, to be honest.

Ned took the opportunity to send a distress call. He wouldn’t be able to get a message outside of the Tower, but if he cracked the firewall just a bit, he could get it out of the penthouse and to Pepper, who was working downstairs. He hid his phone just below the couch in between him and the Avengers After breezing through a few lines of code (updating the security system for Mr. Stark in the last week meant he was now very familiar with the system), he was in. Unfortunately, he could feel Black Widow looking at him funny, so he casually slid his phone into his back pocket. It would be hard to do behind his back, but it was the only way forward. His fingers hopefully picked out Pepper’s contact and tapped out “rouges here need help”- well, he hoped that’s what he typed, because he didn’t look. He’d become a master of one-handed texting, because when Peter had to fix his hand or when his stump aches, he could only use one hand.

“You need to leave. Right now.” Mr. Stark finally stuttered out. “Right now. I’m not joking. I’ll- I’ll call Ross. I’ll do it.”

“Actually, Stark, you won’t.” Hawkeye played with his bow string, utterly nonchalant. “Lockdown. Nothing in, nothing out. So you kinda don’t get a choice in whether we talk or not.”

“Clint, don’t make this harder than it has to be.” The other spy murmured.

“Woah, wait are those kids??” The Falcon suddenly broke in, peering at each of them in turn. Mr. Stark stepped in front of Peter with a shudder. “Jesus, did you kidnap them?”

“Blink twice if he’s holding you hostage,” Hawkeye said dryly. Ned cocked his head in confusion.

No! Mr. Stark didn’t do anything like that! He’s the best, and he told you to leave so you need to go!” Peter interrupted, rage crackling from his tiny form. The Avengers, except for Black Widow, who probably never showed any emotion, all seemed confused and taken aback by Peter’s outburst.

“Damn, kid looks exactly like Stark. How long have you had a secret kid, huh-“ Falcon laughed, but was cut off by Hawkeye stepping on his foot and everyone but Peter, Sam Wilson, and Ned wincing.

“You want to finish that sentence, Wilson?” Tony said, with a monotone that spoke of coming violence. Honestly, Tony looked more like MJ in that moment than Peter. “Finish the fucking sentence, I dare you, and see what happens.”

“Ooookay, well you three need to leave anyway. It’s time for the grown ups to talk. Chop Chop.” Hawkeye said, waving a mocking hand at them.

“You may have been HYDRA once, but you are still children.” Black Widow said impassively, while understanding dawned in Steve Roger’s eyes and the other two gaped at her in incredulity.

“Ah, so this is Peter.” Captain America said softly. Tony literally snarled at him.

“You do not talk to him, you do not look at him.” Mr. Stark spit out. “You want to talk? Fine, we’ll talk. Leave them out of it.”

“But-“ Roger’s words were cut off by banging on the steel plating that blocked off the passage from the penthouse to some of the upper offices.

“We got company?” Hawkeye asked nervously.

“No. Barrier will be up for another thirty minutes at least, and you’d need an Iron Man laser to break in.” Black Widow replied, her words terse and short. However, as soon as she finished her thought, the reinforced metal began to warp and bubble under some kind of pressure. Ned’s first thought was admittedly aliens or something from Flash's youtube account, but his hopes soared as he watched a fiery-hot Pepper stride through the new hole, Vision behind her.

“You will get the fuck out of my house right this instant and I will consider not legislatively burying you.” Pepper growled, and Vision merely floated behind her, avoiding the burning floor in her wake.

“Pep,” Mr. Stark rubbed his face, looking like a man sentenced to the firing squad. “They’re not going to listen. They never do.”

“Um, Pepper, hello,-“ Captain America stood up a little straighter, like he was greeting a dame at a 1940’s ball. It made Ned giggle a little bit, especially when Pepper shot him a glare that could curdle milk. “The point is, we have important Avengers business to attend to, and we need to talk to Tony in private-“

“No way! The last time we left you alone with him, you beat him up!” Ned expected Pepper to speak first, but it was Peter who yelled back, close to tears.

“He’s perfectly fine,” Captain America, the tone of his voice and his glances over at Tony making it seem like he was trying to convince himself of that, “but regardless, I can’t let HYDRA agents privy to-“

“Oh that’s real rich,” Tony gave a hollow, hysterical laugh that send shivers down Ned’s spine. “Yet your little boyfriend is fine?”

“You know it wasn’t his fault, he was brainwashed! He had no control.” He protested, waving his arms in the direction of the kids. “They weren’t brainwashed.”

“You know who else wasn’t brainwashed? Your witchy friend. And unlike her, they didn’t volunteer for a Nazi organization and they are actual children and not in their late twenties. God, I knew you were blind, Rogers, but this is ridiculous.” Tony had lost some of his fear, shaking his head ruefully.

“How can you trust them?” Captain America blurted. “They were just in the organization that killed you-“

“Do not.” Mr. Stark’s voice goes ice cold. “Say one word about my son, Rogers. You don’t deserve to say his name. I didn’t think you’d stoop that low, but I was wrong before. Try that shit again, and this time I’ll shoot to kill.”

“Tony, what is he talking about?” Pepper’s voice was nervous now, glancing back and forth between them.

“You didn’t tell her about- about Siberia?” Steve Rogers’ brows knit together, and he shifted his weight back and forth. Over his shoulder, Falcon shot Hawkeye a confused look and the other hero merely shrugged back. Tony was starting to breath more frantically.

“Tell me what, Tony?” Pepper was looking only at her husband now, her eyes wide. When Tony only stared at the floor, she whirled around to Captain America. “What the fuck happened?”

“It isn’t relevant, I-“

“I think I deserve to know why my husband spent a week in a coma.” Pepper was burning up with Extremis, but her words were pure ice.

“I’m not going to say anything.” Captain America tightened his jaw. Black Widow was staring at him with a curious expression.

“Ms. Potts,” Vision cut in. “FRIDAY would like me to inform you that you may see the events of December 15th and 16th if you so desire. She has spliced together footage from the security cameras and recordings from the Iron Man suit.”

“Show me,” she said.

“No! No! Vision, Stop!” Tony said, his words coming out in gasps.

“Oh wow, guess Stark doesn’t want anyone to see him being an ass and getting his ass kicked.” Hawkeye snipped.


“Pepper- Pepper, you can’t see it. You can’t- it’s bad.” Mr. Stark ignored the man’s jibe, staring only at his wife. His eyes were wide with a desperation that made Ned feel ill.

“I’ve already seen him bringing a shield down on your chest and what you looked like dying! I’ve seen bad!” Pepper’s eyes were full of tears.

“Vision. This is a really bad idea.” MJ warned.Her hand was clenching and unclenching around the Glock, like she was trying to figure out how to not use it, or how to use it.

“I will not.” Vision says simply. “My programming is to obey commands from Pepper Potts, and I believe that the truth should be known. To everyone.”

“Vision, this isn’t necessary. Stop it, soldier.”

“I am not one of your men, Captain, and I do not need to listen to your orders.”

On the huge TV in the living room, a video started to play. Ned guessed it was Siberia. The footage zoomed in on a smaller screen- it bore a date- DECEMBER 16th, 1991. Pepper gasped.

I know that road, what is this?” The Tony Stark on the recording said. Ned glanced over at the real-life Tony and was horrified to see the man comatose, his whole body shaking and his eyes unfocused.

The room watched the murder of Maria and Howard Stark in painful silence, broken only by Pepper’s occasional tears, and a soft curse from either Hawkeye or Falcon. When the video went black, Ned wondered if that was how the fight started- if Mr. Stark attacked the Winter Soldier after watching his parents die. Ned had seen his parents die, and if he had a suit of armor- well, he wasn’t sure what he would do.

But the video kept playing, opening on a shot of the side of a coastal mansion. It was innocent enough, but Ms. Pepper screamed when she saw it, and Mr. Stark fell onto the couch and hid his head in his hands. What had the weird European guy said? Two generations of Starks? Oh god. Ned didn’t know if his assumption was right, but he didn’t want to risk it. He moved to Pepper, cursing when he was too small to completely obstruct her view, and Ned could hear the sound of the little boy being dragged on the grass. But he couldn’t let her watch her family die- it was the worst thing he had ever experienced, worse than losing a limb.

He didn’t know what he was doing, he just placed his hands in front of her eyes and thought- don’t let her see this don’t let her hear this don’t let her see this. There was a funny feeling in his limbs, like electricity surging under his skin, and a bubble rose up in his stomach. Pepper turned her head in confusion, and when Ned looked at her, her eyes were cloudy, the color of his brother’s favorite marble. Ned didn’t have much time to process it, and by the time the video of whatever little kid that was getting hurt (Jesus Christ), he felt his stomach jolt again and Pepper’s eyes cleared, in time to see her husband lunge at Barnes for the first time. She was shaking her head, as if denying everything in front of her, but when Mr. Stark screamed “he killed my baby”, she started to sob.

Ned was grateful that he no longer had a flesh hand for the first time. Anything other than metal, and he wouldn’t have been able to hold her red-hot hand to comfort her and keep her steady.

Iron Man and Captain America screamed at each other, each blow loud and jarring. It ended with the image of Mr. Stark coughing up blood, left behind in the snow.

There was silence.

His head was whirling. The Starks had a son? Who had been killed? He didn’t turn around, didn’t watch, but he could still hear the kid’s choked little gasps for air and the way Tony screamed. Ned couldn’t bring himself to look at the other Avengers’ reactions. Those people used to be his heroes, and now he might hate them just a little. He knew that Mr. Stark attacked, but Captain America had lied to him, and he had to watch his family die. Ned had watched his family die, and he wasn’t sure what he would do if he had to experience it again. Ned knew, from his many comic books in his youth, that Bucky and Steve were close, and if he thought about it, he could imagine himself searching for MJ or Peter for that long and trying to get them cleared, no matter what they did. Ned didn’t think Rogers was an evil man or was trying to be hurtful, but he did think that he made a terrible, stupid choice, and that Captain America had been a bad friend.

“Ms. Pepper. Um-“ Ned stepped back a little from Pepper Potts. He didn’t know what to say. What did you say to a woman who just watched a clip of her husband being beat up because he attacked the person who murdered their child?

“Later, later, I will break later,” She seemed to be mumbling to herself.

“Tony, Tony-“ She looked up in a panic “Where’s Tony?”

“Sorry” He murmured, leaning on the wall like he couldn’t stand on his own, “I knew we said no secrets but ah- didn’t want you to see that.”

“I know. I’m sorry.” She said. “I’m sorry. We’ll talk later. We’ll cry later.”

Pepper stepped closer to Captain America. She lurched in her heels, unstable- she looked drunk on despair.

“You knew? You knew that- that he took everything from us and you used us to find him? To bring him home when he destroyed ours?” Steve Rogers said nothing. “My child is- is”

She couldn’t bring herself to finish the sentence, and despite her resolution to not cry until later, tears were streaming down her face until they evaporated from the heat.

“Steve- Bucky killed James? And you didn’t tell him?” The Black Widow spoke up in Pepper’s silence, looking at a loss for words.

“Bucky didn’t kill him! HYDRA did! And look, I was right, Tony couldn’t handle it, I-“

“It doesn’t matter, Steve. It doesn’t matter when there’s a kid involved.” The spy sounded slightly disgusted.

The Rogues were arguing among themselves and Ned took the opportunity to glance around to check on Peter. His friend was staring at the tv, his eyes fixated on the spot that the Winter Soldier had been last seen. He was pale, even his lips bloodless. Peter slowly turned his head, his eyes showing little recognition of Ned.

Am I dreaming, Peter signed. Uh oh. Not good.Something is familiar. Am I dreaming

Ned didn’t get the chance to respond before a long haired man- The Winter Soldier, holy moly- ducked through the hole in the living room.

“We don’t have much time left, Steve-“ Barnes started to say.

“Youbrought him here, TO MY HOME?” Pepper screamed. He could feel her fury like it was in the marrow of his own bones. The side wall caught fire.Oh man, he was gonna have to replace half the stuff in the kitchen.

“They’re looking for him everywhere! I didn’t bring him inside-“

Pepper threw a wave of hot fire directly at Barnes, who only just managed to avoid it. FRIDAY started to beep out something, and Vision stabbed something into Pepper’s arm, who snarled at him and went from oh-my-gosh-she’s-completely-on-fire to only-a-little-molten.

“Apologies, Ms. Potts. I had to stabilize you, as you were close to the Extremis combustion point.” Vision said, calmly, as if he wasn’t at least 30% of the reason they were in this mess to begin with. Ned backed up from the ticking time bomb of a conversation and bumped into who he thought might be Peter.

“M’head hurts, Ned.” Peter mumbled. Ned glanced at him- and gosh, Peter really didn’t look good.

“Shoot buddy- uh I’ll make you some soup when we’re done with this? Just hang on.” Ned grasped Peter’s- jeez, incredibly sweaty hand and attempted to squeeze it in solidarity, all while continuing to stare down the Avengers.

“Ned, Ned, I feel like, I know him.” Peter gasped and ripped his hand from Ned’s to put it to his forehead. “He makes me want to throw up, my head’s splitting in two-“

With a thump, Peter fell, and Ned whipped around. His friend was kneeling on the floor, his whole frame shaking. His eyes glassier then Ned had ever seen him and god, was that blood dripping from his nose?

“Peter-“ Pepper yelled, but before she could say anything, Peter’s head snapped up again. He rose to his feet, the entire room gone silent, and he swayed like he was drunk. But- but his eyes still looked so different. There was something wrong with Peter. Ned made eye contact with MJ, seeing his own fearful conclusion reflected in her eyes.

In an instant, Peter struck, and within a blink, his forearm was pressing the Winter Soldier into the wall, the concrete buckling under their combined force. There was an uproar, but Tony was the loudest.

Peter! Get the fuck away from him!” Ned had never heard Tony sound like that. The man tried to take a step forward, before Black Widow grabbed his wrist. “Peter!”

“Surprised, soldat?” Peter ignored all of them, and his voice was- strange. Older, and soaked in a hysteric absurdity. “Herr Doctor would be so disappointed with how slow you’ve gotten. What? No response? Yeah, I got stronger. Stronger than you.”

The last words were hissed out through clenched teeth, and Peter’s arm cut into the man’s neck further when he still didn’t respond. “Or is it the arm? I should have known you were nothing without it!”

“Peter!” Pepper tried. He didn’t seem to hear her. All Ned could hear in Peter’s voice was fierce, violent rage, but he could also see that Peter’s cheeks were streaked with tears as he pushed the man down with a force that was bending the steel in the walls.

“That is enough, young man,” Captain America roared, his face incandescent as he charged at the threat to Barnes, but Peter didn’t even look at him as he grabbed him and threw him - Captain America sailed through an entire wall and lay dazed on the floor for a minute.

“Oh? Did you forget me again,” and Ned winced at the amount of rage that escaped Peter at the word forget.

“маленький паук” Barnes murmured, almost reflexively. Little spider.

“Don’t call me that!” Peter spat out, and shook his head as if to clear it, before beginning again. This time, however, he spoke in quick, angry Russian and only those trained at HYDRA or SHEILD knew what Peter was saying. “Yknow, first I was upset that you tried to kill me.”

Barnes still showed no response. “You were the first- the first to talk to me, and you promised to protect me, you taught me what the fucking word meant. I didn’t know, I didn’t know before you how bad it was, how much I was missing. And then you showed me, you showed me I was a person, that I was alive- and then you took it away!

Peter screamed in fury, and then began to sob.

You just- you threw yourself at me and punched me in the jaw, and it never fucking healed quite right and I can’t even say it was an order because the Doctor was screaming at you to stop. You wouldn’t defy them to protect me,” Peter hiccuped, collected himself with a shuddering breath, and spoke more quietly. “but you would defy them to hurt me more than they had. It was cruel, to give me the knowledge, to teach me I was a person, and then take it away. It was fucking cruel!”

Then, I hated that you left me. I hated that you left me alone in that place.” His friend’s voice ratcheted up again, lined with a kind of agony that cut Ned to the core. “Do you know what they did to me? Do know what they made me do? Do you know what they did to my body? There were nights that I would have taken you beating the shit out of me if it meant I wasn’t alone. They took everything from me, and you just stood there. You let them do it, let them take everything.

Peter was whispering by the end, and he sagged a little bit, the fight draining out of him. He took his forearm off of Bucky’s throat, looking as if he was going to finally step back for a moment before he grabbed Barnes’s wrist with white knuckles.

And then, then I hated that you didn’t just kill me. You should have finished the job, Winter Soldier.” Peter’s face split into a sickening smirk, and he forced Bucky’s hand up, both of them straining until Peter forced Bucky’s palm onto his neck. Tony screamed again, and Nat grabbed both of his arms, having to physically restrain him. “You should have kept squeezing my throat even after I blacked out. You should have realized I was still conscious when my head hit the concrete. You should have snapped my neck like you were going to. Nice clean kill, just how you like them.

Barnes’s nostrils were flaring, and his eyes were wide. Peter’s tone had grown almost mocking, and it scared Ned. Everything about this scared Ned.

If that was too hard, you should have shot me in the fucking skull. You should have grabbed the gun and shot me in the fucking skull. It would have been far more merciful than leaving me there. What stopped you, Winter Soldier? Was it the fact that I was a child, that my legs didn’t even touch the ground when you held me by my throat? That never stopped you from letting them cut into me. And apparently, you’ve killed children before. What stopped you, A-6? Why didn’t you just fucking kill me?!”

“I don’t know,” Barnes’s whisper seemed even quieter after the shouting. Peter’s angry expression slid off of his face, his features slipping into an unfocused neutrality. “I don’t know.”

Peter said nothing, just released Barnes’s wrist and stepped back, not even looking at the ex-hydra assassin anymore. Ned could see the warning signs of a bad dissociative episode, and before Tony could wiggle out of Black Widow’s grasp or anyone else could intervene and make this nightmare worse, Ned pulled his friend to the corner, standing in front of him to shield Peter’s shallowly breathing form from the rest of the room.

“What the fuck was that?” Tony was the first to break the silence, vibrating with a barely constrained rage and fear. “What did he say? What did you do to him?”

MJ repeated all of Peter’s words exactly, translating them into English and speaking with the monotone that Ned knew hid her terror. Tony, somehow, got paler with each word out of her mouth. Before any of them could ask Peter any questions, the boy curled into the fetal position and began to talk to himself.

“SX-24 has always been here- SX-24 had always been here. There is only cell- hall-“

MJ made a wounded noise, and the Avengers look even more taken aback.

“What’s wrong with him? Someone tell me what’s wrong with him, right now.” Mr. Stark was frantic.

“That’s a number, what’s your name?” MJ kneeled next to Peter, her words stilted, like she was rehearsing lines from a script

“SX-24 is an experiment. Designation?” Whatever MJ was doing, Peter was now making eye contact with her.

“My name is Michelle.” She said, her voice soft and small and heavy with meaning. “What did your family call you before you were in here?”

“SX-24 is an experiment. Don’t have a family or a name. Michelle”

“You said it right this time-“ Michelle looked close to breaking down, but when Peter looked at her with no recognition she tried a new tactic.

“SX-24 is the only one beside Michelle now. The others failed. They failed, failed, failed, failed.” Peter was rocking back and forth until Michelle grabbed his wrist


“What does failed mean-“ Someone- maybe Falcon?- whispered.


“Died, terminated, died, burning place, they left they’re out and they left SX-24 behind. It’s dark in here, Michelle. Later, he’ll take SX-24 out of cell. Not the burning place. But to-“

Peter retched and threw up.

There was an out-roar from the adults, and MJ’s eyes left Peter for a second to glare at those assembled behind her.

“Shut up and let me get him back.” She said, and then turned around and schooled her expression into a more neutral one. “Do you want me to tell you a story- may-maybe a Wrinkle in Time, Peter Pan-“

“Yes- Peter”

“Let’s have that be your name. Peter.” MJ started to cry.

“Peter, Peter almost name - tell me about the pirates- sea water- there’s someone behind me on the beach I can hear there’s wind and a cliff-"

“Peter, what do you mean? Did you have a name before?”

“SX-24 is an experiment. Peter is- The other name- SX-24 can’t remember. Peter can’t remember. They took it in the bright room, in the chair. A-6 squeezed too hard. Doctor yelled. SX-24 doesn’t remember what they took."

“What was your name? Do you remember anyone before the chair?”

He said nothing.

“Peter?”

“Skip’s coming, he’s coming and I have to make sure he doesn’t hurt MJ. We’ll have new crayons and it’ll be fine and colored pencils and ill learn all the colors i'll know them and the tile is white and blood is red and it's dark in the other place, темно там, где он прикасается ко мне, so I can't see the colors but I don't want to go back. SX-24 doesn’t like it hates it- SX-24-“

MJ’s face drained completely of blood, and with a desperation edging her tone, she quit pushing and tried one more time.

“That’s a number, what’s your name?” There was a pause, a horrible pause, and then he spoke.

“P-peter.” He said, stumbling through the word like he was remembering it halfway through. “My name is Peter.”

Ned almost sighed in relief, but then Peter started to scream, clutching his skull like it was going to break. He moved one of the hands from his head to catch himself as he fell to the floor, and Ned saw that Peter’s palm was streaked with red and blood dripped from his uncovered ear. His friend seized uncontrollably for two tiny moments, and then went still.

Ned stared in horror, ignoring Tony’s argument with Nat, and took a step closer, only to be surprised with Peter sleepily sitting up again, looking far more like himself.

“Ned?” Peter asked, his voice confused, but not scared. “What’s goin on? Did I fall asleep out here or something?”

He turned around, his eyebrows reaching his hairline when he looked over at the assembled group in their kitchen. “AH! The Avengers are here! Why are the Avengers here?”

Ned watched him carefully, cataloguing the sudden return to normalcy and the fact that Peter’s bright eyes lingered on everyone but Bucky, his attention gliding over the assassin unconsciously.

“And geez, Mr. Stark, what happened to the living room? Did the Rogues make a mess again?” He crossed his arms and scowled at the shocked former Avengers in an extremely unthreatening way. “What are you staring at? I live here, and you don’t!”

“Kid,” Tony seemed to regain his speech for a moment. “What do you remember?”

“What? Remember what? Where Ned left the last piece for the star destroyer? Because that’s what I was looking for before-“ Peter was rolling his eyes playfully, but then stopped himself short, a growing concern washing over his face. “Wait- h-how did I get here? I don’t- I- oh my gosh, is that blood?”

Peter’s eyebrows furrowed, and Ned found himself mirroring the gesture. They had finished that set two days ago- Peter couldn’t remember anything past that? Ned looked to MJ helplessly, who was more scared than he had probably ever seen her. The whole room was tense, Captain America even opening his mouth as if to say something.

“Yeah kid, you hit your head pretty hard.” Tony said quickly, jumping in and shooting all of them a shut-the-fuck-up glare. “We’ll get FRIDAY to scan ya, and you’re probably fine, but you’re going to bed. C’mon, up ya get.”

“Mr. Starkkkkk,” Peter complained.

“Nooope! If we leave in the next two seconds, I won’t make you stay in the medbay.” Mr Stark was maintaining his practiced easy air, but he was looking at the rogues out of the corner of his eye. Peter dropped his playful stalling and hopped to his feet, peeling out the door.

“Goodnight, Ms. Pepper. Night Ned and MJ!” He called with his usual cheerful ness, turning over his shoulder to wave. “Goodnight Vision. Goodnight Ms. Black Widow. And Goodnight to the mean criminal Avengers, I guess.”

Peter stuck his tongue out at Captain America, and then disappeared down the hall.

“I’m going to keep an eye on him.” Tony said. He turned to Barnes next. “Go near him ever again, and I won’t hold back like I did before.”

No one said anything. Tony left and they were left in the silence of the half destroyed living room.

“We can’t just let the kid skip out like that! We need some answers about whatever the hell that was.” The Falcon was the first to move, striding towards the hallway.

“It happened a few times- him forgetting“ MJ’s eyes were red rimmed and watery, and her gaze was locked onto Ned like he was a lifeline. “Before you got there, Ned. He didn’t remember that it happened and I wanted to keep it that way. He’d wake up and forget and be whatever it was that I met and it was terrifying. When he refused to speak, I couldn’t do anything, but when he finally talked, he’d say one of the things he said to me on the first day, we’d get to ‘ that’s a number, what’s your name’- and he would always say Peter and then fall asleep and he would wake up and it would be fine. But it never- it never went on that long, and- and he never screamed like that. Or bled.”

“Michelle,” Natasha Romanoff cut in, her words measured, but gentle. “Do you know what he was talking about?”

“No,” MJ shook her head furiously, like she was trying to clear water from her ears. “He doesn’t talk a lot about before I got there, and I don’t know if he even remembers all of it. Apparently they’ve already wiped him once. I’ve never, ever seen him react like that. Never heard him speak like that. Never seen him angry.”

“Some of his behavior is analogous with victims of childhood sexual assault. Do you believe that to be accurate Miss. Jones?” Vision calmly asks. There were several sharp gasps of shock around the room, and Ned tensed as well, staring right at his friend.

MJ froze, and Ned didn’t need to be a mind reader to know what was going through her head. They’d talked about it, when Peter was doing his internship and wouldn’t overhear. They’d gotten back from freshman health at midtown, and he had turned to MJ and asked her he wasn’t sure he wanted the answer to- and while he didn’t have her memory, he remembered her words perfectly. He wondered if she’d say the same thing here,

say: “I think something happened, and I don’t know how to fix it

say: “Some of the guards tried to touch me in there. Tried. My power always kept them off, which was one of the reasons why I never used it to exhaustion. I was an idiot- I thought- I thought it would only be me.”

scream”“I tried so hard I tried so hard to protect him nut sometimes I just couldn’t and he’d put himself in danger to protect me, because that’s just who he is, but sometimes I’d see how scared and in pain he was and I hated it. I didn’t know what to do! I still don’t!”.

whisper: “Some nights he wouldn’t even let me touch him and it felt like he was dying right in front of me. Sometimes he wouldn’t let me touch him and I thought we were both already dead.

But MJ didn’t say any of those things- those words belonged to the dark places that created them. Instead, she hissed. “Shut. the. fuck. up. You don’t know Peter. You don’t deserve to know Peter.”

No one said anything, Hawkeye and Falcon looking pained and out of place, Black Widow carefully masked, Captain America blinking in shock. It was, surprisingly, the Winter Soldier who broke the silence.

“I remember him, I think.”

“If you hurt that child-“ The temperature of the room rose several degrees as Pepper squared her shoulders, her throat raw as she attempted to speak for the first time in awhile.

“He was young, small. They were trying to make him like me. SX-24. That’s what they called him.” Barnes’s voice was soft and far away.

“Jesus Christ, what the hell happened to that kid? We’ve gotta ask h-“ Hawkeye broke in.

“What the hell didn’t happen to him?” MJ rose to her feet, her fingers curled into claws. “I don’t even know the full extent of it and I was there from the age of ten! I had to clean blood off of him most nights and it took everything in me to keep the both of us alive. They branded us, experimented on us, starved us, and kept us in the dark. But we got ourselves out, to the city, a new life, and we are doing fine, and we don’t need any of your input. The only adults who have ever not hurt me are Pepper and Tony. Leave Peter alone. If he doesn’t want to talk about it he doesn’t have to. Shut up.”

“Listen, kid-“

“I’ve looked into someone’s eyes and shot them, and no one but me gave the order.” MJ said, with a horrifying calm. “I’m not a child.”

No one said anything for a moment.

“You people need to leave.” Ned finally managed to say. “You hurt Mr. Stark really badly and left him behind. That’s not what heroes do. That’s what HYDRA does. I would know. Leave.”

Cap for a second looked like he’s going to say something, but he just grit his teeth and a moment later most of the Rogues were moving towards the elevator. Natasha Romanoff, however, sent one last glance at Tony, and headed towards the staircase.

“Nat?” Rogers said.

“I think it would be better if we parted ways for a while.” The spy said cooly, and she was gone in the next instant. Rogers sighed and their team made their way out the door.

For a long, long minute, the three of them just stand there, surrounded by the broken shards of memory and emotion, unsure of what to do in this new harsh space. Pepper looked around the room, and then turned her red rimmed eyes to Ned.

“Well.” She said in an unstable voice. “I’m going to get this place cleaned up a little. And then we’re going to eat the leftover pizza and sit in the living room.”

And then, she fainted.

Notes:

ill add one of my hideously long endnotes l8r

til then, leave me a comment/what did you like/what are you excited for/i love u thank you for reading

Chapter 24: pull the fire alarm

Notes:

heyyyy
okay so I’d really wanted to post this before the new year so I could make that “I haven’t posted in a year” dad joke, but that doesn’t work when a new chapter hasn’t been for like three months.

real quick, I just want to thank each and every one of you. I kinda lost interest in marvel, but what pushed me to write again were all of your kind words. I’m now motivated to finish, but it’s thanks to you guys that this work is continuing!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Michelle caught Pepper before she hit the ground, quickly depositing her on the one remaining couch that was not tipped over and/or on fire. The extremis still pulsed orange and vermillion in the delicate veins of Pepper’s neck, but it was slowing enough to where Ned thought it would be safe to leave her alone for the moment, and he took the chance to survey the penthouse.

“Oh my gosh,” Ned said, eyes wide, both hands raised to his head, as he stared around at the destroyed, still flaming room around them, “Putang-ina.”

His mom and his Lola would have both scolded him for using such language, but he figured he deserved a curse or two after a day like today.

“Fuck, indeed.” MJ did not allow herself a moment of shock beyond that, however, and swiftly composed herself and turned to Vision. She looked more like the general than she had in months, and Ned’s stomach churned with a confusing mixture of nostalgia and nausea. “Vision. Go downstairs and make sure the Rogues leave, and that they don’t come back.”

“Should I not wait up here-“

“I think you’ve done enough for one day.” The statement, rather than loaded with anger and fear as it should have been, was delivered in a monotone that made Ned wince. Vision too, seemed at a loss for words and merely floated back through the metal panels. A fraction of the tension in MJ’s shoulders left with him, now that it was just them and the Starks in the penthouse. “Ned, can you-“

“Comb through the files and make sure they haven’t left any other presents in the system? It might take me a bit, but-“

“Actually, I was going to ask if you knew how to get the sprinklers to come on. That seemed a little more time sensitive.” Ned looked up from his coding daydream and blinked at her.

“Oh! Yeah, um, no fire would be good, uh-“ He rushed over to a side wall, wincing as his slippers (he was sooo glad he had treated himself to these for Christmas) skittered on the broken glass. Opening up a control panel, he absentmindedly flicked a few switches, hoping that one was just a very minimalistic fire alarm.

“Don’t tell me Stark did something absolutely fucking idiotic like having the sprinklers connected to the servers?”

“Well, I mean, normally that would be the optimal- If you think about it, this is really the most updated system, and normally integrated systems are awesome and work perfectly-“ Ned rambled, wanting to defend Tony and smart home technology. If everything he had connected to the internet, he would be a happy man. MJ was just a book snob who didn’t understand the true beauty of tech.

“The living room is smoldering and all you’ve managed to do is turn the espresso machine on, which for some reason has its own backup generator.” Sure enough, the now-dented machine made an unhappy whirring sound.

“I guess Mr. Stark just found that to be the most important! And hold on, I’ve almost disabled the block they put on the servers- honestly, this thing is so crude. No finesse at all, you should see-“ He babbled.

“Ned.”

“Right, later. Okay, here we go.” With one last keystroke, he did a quiet whoop of victory. Instantly, the kitchen light gave a halfhearted flicker, and they were all instantly soaked with water. “Oops.”

MJ did not react to the bombardment of water past her lips perhaps pursing a little further.

“Well, at least the whole fire issue is cleared up now?” Ned said with fake cheer, moving his hair from where it was running water into his eyes. He bent over to collect shards of broken glass in his prosthetic palm— he was finding all sorts of uses for a metal hand today, now wasn’t he? “The Avengers sure know how to destroy a place, huh? I mean, I’m starting to understand how New York looked like that after the Chitari, although now I’m not sure if the damage was all the aliens’ fault.”

Perhaps stirred into consciousness by the literal bucket of cold water dumped on her, Pepper sat up with a gasp, her strawberry hair plastered to her face as she looked around the room with wild, frightened eyes.

“You’re okay, Pepper.” Ned said, taking a few gentle steps forward. “The Rogues are gone, Peter and Tony are safe, we’re just cleaning up some of the mess.”

Her face relaxed just a little, and she sunk back into the couch with the exhaustion of several years on her skinny frame. As if remembering what had happened, however, within a moment she was trying to sit back up again.

“Upbububup!” Ned scolded, wagging a finger at her. “Nope! You are sitting down and relaxing.”

“But- but I need to make sure the SI-“

“MJ’s got the business stuff. And you just fainted.” Dimly, somewhere in his fanboy mind, Ned registered that he was currently telling Pepper Potts what to do, but he’d deal with that later. “I swear, you’re almost as bad as Peter. You are relaxing. R-E-L-A…”

“Do you have any injuries that need medical attention.” MJ broke into Ned’s spirited commands with a question so stilted it sounded more like a statement.

“I’m- I’m alright.” Pepper said with a swallow, and Ned didn’t need his genius to know that that was a lie. “Did either of you see what happened? I- I saw that man grab my, ah, son, but after that- it was just dark and I didn’t even realize what had happened until Tony said that- that- Barnes killed Jamie.”

“That’s good.” Ned breathed, relieved. “You not seeing that- I uh, did that? With my magic, I think?”

It was a testament to the kind of day they’d had that Pepper’s only response to that were a few surprised blinks.

“Your son- it was quick. He wasn’t aware of it at all. There was no pain.” MJ lied. Ned didn’t need to see if the few tells only he and Peter could see were there to know it. He tried to block it out, but he could remember the sounds and how long they continued, the haunted look in Tony Stark’s eyes. Ned said nothing, because, despite what his dad and mom used to say, sometimes lies were better than the truth. “He didn’t suffer.”

Pepper sagged like someone had cut the marionette stings keeping her upright. Not with relief, but something close to it. An ugly, darker relative, perhaps. “Good, god- I just- thank you.”

“Get some rest, Pepper.” Ned said, gentle as he could. She nodded, appearing woozy with the affects of whatever had been jabbed into her arm- he should really figure out what that was, and what the whole deal with the fire powers was- but there were more pressing concerns.

Ned continued his deep clean of the servers, and MJ stood at attention, her only movement the occasional flicker of her irises under her eyelids. She was planning something, he knew, or perhaps analyising the scene in her memory. Once he was sure Pepper was asleep, he spoke.

“You know we need to talk about Peter, right?”

She said nothing, and the only thing betraying that she had heard him was the further tightening of her limbs.

“I mean this confirms some of our suspicions.” He continued.

“We aren’t talking about this.” She snapped, the countertop creaking under her white-knuckled grip, before abandoning her mind scape and whirling around to glare at him. “That place is over, it’s gone. You saw what happened to Peter when it got brought up. Stop trying to bring it back again, Ned.”

“But we need to know more about his past.” MJ’s voice had been rising with anger, which Ned knew was just disguised fear, but he kept his words steady and level. “It’s not just about helping him with the trauma, or finding out who he really is, but it’s- it’s medical too. We need to know what they did to him.”

“I”m scared, okay?!” She burst out, before glancing at Pepper’s sleeping form and lowering her voice. “I’m scared of what we’ll find.”

Silence between them. With the metal panels covering the windows, it felt a bit like they were in the cell again. Claustrophobia itched its way over Ned’s skin.

“He was doing fine, we’re all doing fine.” MJ’s hands were shaking where she clenched them at her sides. “We’re not there anymore, Ned! Why do you keep bringing this up, why do you want to- to go back? It’s over! We got out! We got out. It’s over.”

She sounded more like she was trying to convince herself of the things she was saying. He merely responded, “It doesn’t work like that, MJ.”

“I don’t want to know about all the things I couldn’t protect him from.“

“But we can protect him now. Peter said something about being wiped before. We need to find out what else they took, if an episode like that was going to happen again. I know that you don’t like using your powers or the skills they gave you, but we may have to.”

MJ said nothing, leaning against the counter and staring ahead with dull eyes. It was a while before she spoke again. “It was terrifying, it was like he didn’t who we were—“

“And we didn’t know who he was either,” Ned finished. He sighed and collected himself, and continued, “But he’s Peter. He loves legos and thinks that fireflies are magic and he still smiles despite it all. I believe he’ll be okay. I believe we’re all gonna be okay.”

MJ laughed and rubbed her face with her palms. Ned hated the sound.

“We need to go back to the lab.” He finally said outright. “We cut off one head, I suppose we should see whether two heads grew back.”

“Fine.” MJ said after a while, before returning herself to her planning pose. “But this time, we’re burning the stumps.”

***

Big man in a suit of armor, take that away and what are you?

Desperate. Scared. Grieving. Broken.

Tony didn’t have a suit of armor anymore. Even with one, though, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to protect any of them. From the past, or from whatever the hell came next. But he wasn’t going to lay down and let it take him.

He refocused his attention on the small sleeping body in the corner. On their way out of the disasterous interaction with the Avengers, Peter had demanded to see a project they’d been working on in the lab, declaring that there was no way he could sleep at all without adding one last thing. Tony, no stranger to bursts of consuming inspiration, and wanting the most secure place in the tower to observe Peter to make sure he was okay, complied with the request. Peter had barely attached the last circuit board before he was nodding off on the couch in the corner of the room, fast asleep. Tony tucked a blanket around him, told FRIDAY to monitor the kid’s vitals before remembering that the Avengers had shut off the power, and went back to his workbench.

Though the lab had the most security, as it had once housed his suits, he couldn’t relax for even a second, even with a wrench and metal in his hands. Seeing that again- well, he already hadn’t been sleeping. It had already been playing on the backs of his eyelids for days and days. What was one more time really?

But Pepper- had Pepper seen it? He dropped the bits of scrap with a clatter, and began to pace. He needed to check on his wife, make sure she was safe, but he couldn’t leave Peter alone and-

“Yo,” MJ’s voice hissed over Friday’s speakers. “Ned just got most of the systems back. The living room is no longer smoking. Pepper is fine, Ned kept her from seeing or hearing… what happened with your son. I uh- lied. Told her it was quick. And painless.”

He almost collapsed in relief, glad again that Pepper hadn’t seen that. Knowing she too would have to bear that would break him. “Thank you, MJ.”

“But anyway, Rogues are gone, Vision’s guarding the tower, and Ned is cleaning the code. Just- Stay with Peter. I may send Pepper to you in a while.”

“I should-“

“Thank you.” He said, trying to say a million more things with just those two words. “I’ll come and help-“

“No. You’re compromised, idiot. Just look after Peter. We don’t need your help, old man. Just go to sleep, loser.” With a click, she was gone, but unspoken between them was permission to fall apart.

Tony stared at nothing for at least 37 seconds, feeling like an animal that had been cornered for far too long.

“Fri?” He called out with a rather unbecoming tremble in his voice.

“Hello- boss.-“ Her cheery voice was only slightly marred by some crackle in the speakers.

He’d been opened up, flayed alive, and while the wound had barely begun to heal, he’d been ripped apart again for all the rogues to see. He felt exposed and miserable. It was another moment before he could speak again.

“Friday. I can’t afford to fall apart. How do I not fall apart- wait, don’t answer that. I just want— maybe- Jarvis” He said in a small voice, sounding very much like a young child in that moment. “I don’t get to keep things. The only thing keeping me upright is-“ Pepper’s smile, Pepper’s hair on the pillow next to him, Rolling her eyes in amusement, the fading memory of James’s high giggles, Peter’s wonderment at everything around him, wonder at things Tony had taken for granted but now was seeing in a whole new way through Peter’s eyes- Fuck.”

Tony buried his face in his hands. He was alive right now, in this moment, more than he had been in a long time and he was terrified.

“Everything I make turns to dust. I used to think, like Midas, everything I touched turned to gold. Then I thought everything I touched turned to cold iron, hard steel— bombs and- and armor and a fucked up marriage. Now now I know, that everything I touch just turns to fucking dust in my hands.”

Tony slid down his workbench to lower himself to the ground, his legs suddenly too weak to hold him. He reflected on the fact that the only reason he hadn’t beaten his hands bloody on the glass was the sleeping child he didn’t want to wake up, who’d seen enough blood already.

Tony had seen enough blood already too— the metal hand around Howard’s neck/ the metal hand around his neck/ the metal hand around James’s neck/ the metal hand around Peter’s neck —and now there was another little boy relying on him and he was going to lose this one and-.

“Friday, create a file on Peter Parker. Start combing the SHEILD leaks for any relevant details, especially on brainwashing or experimentation.”

He’d get to the bottom of this. Hell, maybe there was a better guardian than Tony for Peter at the end of this.

(He ignored the fact that letting Peter go would be like tearing off his own limb, like losing a child again).

“And add a note to the James Stark file.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “I couldn’t save him, so I’ll damn well avenge him.”

***

At the end of the world, there are no words. No promises left to break.

That night, Tony and Pepper, in the dark of their room and grief that rose around then like the sea, did not speak. It was an agony that could not be expressed by an eternity of eulogies, conversations, or wails, so it could not be expressed at all.

They lay like that, time indeterminate, with only the warmth of skin on skinto prove they were there.


Natasha had known Michelle was there since she first slipped through the loose window on the second floor, but it was only when the spy heard the click of the gun’s hammer that she reacted.

“I thought it would have taken you longer to find me.” Natasha said with a smirk, leaning against the concrete wall like they were in a house, not a drafty abandoned warehouse a gull’s cry away from the harbor.

She knew her goal of getting the girl to react had worked when her left eye twitched slightly in irritation. “I’m not an amateur. Some of your little —hints— you left me were almost insulting, черная вдова.”

“So have you come to try to cross me off? To question me about my involvement in SHEILD, or Siberia? You seem rather… vengeful.” Natasha played with her fingernail. She knew the girl wouldn’t go for the kill shot, but it would be interesting to gage her reaction to the suggestion. “I assume you were the one that leaked the footage to the press?”

Michelle inclined her head, half out of pride, half out of confusion. “I’m not vengeful. Ijust remove threats. I know that Barnes was brainwashed. I won’t go after him unless he gets close to my— my people.”

“So I’m not a threat?” Natasha raised an eyebrow.

“All of us are threats. You’re just not a threat to me right now. You’re an asset.” Asset. Interesting word choice. “There’s no good or bad. Only people who help you and people who don’t.”

“That sounds like HYDRA thinking.” Natasha crossed her arms and watched Michelle’s eyes narrow in response.

“That’s soldier thinking.” The girl shot back. “Maybe I do sound like HYDRA. They made me after all.”

“No, they didn’t.” Now the small head tilt was purely confusion. Natasha could feel herself losing her cool a bit, but here was this young girl in front of her- smart, brave, protective of her loved ones- and she could see all of the things this kid could become. “You have a gun but you don’t want to use it. You’re out. You go to high school and read classic novels and do extracurricular activities. Hydra didn’t do any of that, Michelle Jones. You did that. Don’t give them credit for the best parts of you.”

“But- You define yourself by being a spy.” Michelle’s eyes were wide, and for the first time in their conversation retreated back a half step, the gun loose in her grip.

“That’s true. But I also make my own decisions. I don’t let anyone, not even the people who armed me, force me into something if I can help it. I make the choices I think are right, no matter the fallout. Sometimes, I fuck it up. Sometimes, there was nothing I could do in the first place. Sometimes, people get hurt.” Natasha’s voice felt hoarse. She’d talked openly like this with Clint when they got drunk after Fury’s suicide missions, but never anyone else. And she’d been alone for a while, ignoring Steve’s texts and calls for days. “But I keep going because, like you, I was trained for this, but unlike you, I don’t know if there was anything other than this for me. I am my work. I can’t change that, so I make sure that my work saves as much good in the world as I can.”

“Why did you go with Rogers, then, and not Tony? They fucked him up, they-“ Michelle’s fiercely protective streak was flaring once more. It was good to see Tony had someone like that around.

“I did not know about the Winter Soldier killing Tony’s son. To lose a child…” Natasha’s face creased with pain and she wrapped her arms around her middle. “I thought Bucky deserved a shot, after all of that, at something different. I got my second chance. He deserved one too.”

”More than anything,” She continued after clearing her throat and Michelle’s flared temper seemed to have eased. “I was focused on the team as a whole. The world needs the Avengers, and by god, does it need Tony Stark. They’ll need to at least be able to work together one day.”

“That’s a load of bullshit.” Michelle said petulantly, but it almost made Natasha grin because it was the most teenage expression she’d ever seen the girl make. In Michelle’s silence, Natasha returned to her task of picking at her fingernails, waiting until the girl became uncomfortable enough for the words to start spilling out.

“I never understood why you did it.” She blurted suddenly, shifting back and forth on her heels. “Why you revealed yourself, made yourself that vulnerable when you were supposed to be the best, put you and everyone around you in danger-“

“There are somedays where I don’t understand it either.” Natasha said with a sigh, wishing for the single cigarette she allowed herself after a successful mission or a comrade’s funeral. “But sometimes, Michelle, it’s what’s needed to protect more than just you.”

Natasha moved from her wall to stare out one of the leaded glass plane at the city around them. New York. She’d always admired it. “Why am I, of all people, an Avenger? When you don’t have combat enhancements or a multimillion dollar company, It takes sacrifice to win in this world. They think of me as unfeeling, and perhaps it’s true, but I’m the one who is willing to sacrifice. That’s why I win.”

“What if one day it’s not worth it?” MJ whispered. Natasha ran her hand along the glass, ignoring the dust on her fingers, to stare more clearly out at the world.

“I don’t think anything I could give would ever be too much for the world. When all you are is a weapon, it’s hard to do much good. I have only what I can give up to give.” Natasha looked away, with a small pang of regret, from the window and back to the girl, who had lowered her gun long ago. “If you’re going after HYDRA, let me know if you need a hand. I’m sure you can find me.”

MJ gave her a guarded nod, and turned to leave. She’d walked only a few feet away when she spun around.

“I don’t think Tony would be happy if you sacrificed yourself, you know.” She blurted.

“Tough shit.” Natasha said with a smile that was more pleasant surprise than a smirk, for once. “Sometimes you don’t get what you want.”

***

Peter was really tired of all of these headaches.

It had been a few days since everyone started acting oddly, since he’d forgotten something and woken up to the Avengers in his houseMr. Stark’s house. Since then, Mr. Stark and MJ had been watching Peter like a hawk, Ned shoving baked goods at him like he always did when he was nervous, and Pepper had been detached and shaky.

He’d done a lot of Spidermanning, just to get outand about. Crime was nice and distracting, but in the meantime, in the silent swings through the cold winter air, he had time to think.

They’d told himthat the rogue avengers showed up, and that he got upset and then he had some sort of- of break and screamed a lot. It didn’t sound like him but then again he didn’t really know who he was in the first place. The one thing he did know is that all of them, all of the people he loved, looked scared.

The snow was turning into grey slush below, grimy and unpleasant instead of fluffy and inviting, which was perhaps why he saw it.

Under a spray painted red star, the sight of which sent a spike of pain through his head, was a small metal box.

He slung himself down to it, the cold of the roof metal and the frost below like needles through his suit. With a trembling hand, he opened it. Inside was a note.

Spider,

HYDRA in the city. Be careful

-A-6

His head hurts and he doesn’t understand the words before him but he knows who that is he knows he knows he- The rush of blood in his ears sounded like waves crashing. He’s cold he’s cold but he’s at the beach and his toes are in the sand and-

He sat on the ground and stared up at the grey, grey sky.

My name is Peter.

I love MJ, Ned, Ms. Pepper, and Mr. Stark.

Ben Parker and May died for me.

I’m Spider-Man.

My name is Peter-

He chanted through the lines mentally and in mumbles, until the world stopped spinning around him.

HYDRA was in his city. Peter could put his own issues aside to defend it.

Notes:

hello hello.

So this chapter is rough and an awkward one. I’m more excited for the upcoming chapters (midtown kids! Worlds collide! Spy shenanigans!), but we needed a transition to those ones.
God no more talking next chapter is just action if I have to write one more dialogue tag I stg!

So Natasha pov! How was it? I know almost nothing about her character so I hope I did alright! I thought it would be interesting to have her be a sort of mirror for MJ.

aLSO HOLY SHIT 1000 KUDOS?? inSANE! Thank you!

what are you guys excited for! What relationships do you want to see explored? do you have any comments or questions? Please let me know!

Thank you again :)

Chapter 25: operation bts

Notes:

heeelo!

you asked for decathlon kids and I answered. This one is not as funny or lighthearted as the other ones because I made it plot relevant, so be aware of that.
as always, unedited, wanted to get something out there.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Betty had never wished she was on a date more than right now.

Oh what a wonderful twelve seconds it had been, when she thought Ned had just asked her out. It was, though they didn’t know it, the last day at school (the next Sunday, Rhino got some sort of power up and destroyed most of the district and reduced Midtown high to rubble before Spider-Man saved the day, so they were now on an extended vacation from school), and she was working up the courage to ask Ned if he maybe wanted to go to yogurtland or another teenage date location. He’d walked over to her with a smile, furtively glanced around and leaned in, and asked her in a whisper if she wouldn’t mind meeting him outside school. She promptly almost fainting, already composing both a text to Cindy and her marriage vows, when that one shining moment was shattered as Ned turned and asked Flash Thompson the same question.

No, Betty wasn’t bitter. It was just a Decathalon team thing. She’d even gotten Flash the expresso he’d been whining about in the groupchat.

So now she was standing in a shady ass area of town in front of a shady ass warehouse with Cindy still bemoaning her lack of a twitter as Flash bragged about his SpiderFan account snd Abe’s stupid raccoon hissing as he cooed at it.

and Ned hasn’t asked her on a date.

Betty supposed she should have been used to circumstances like these by now. Since Harrington took his leave of absence (following his nervous breakdown at the end of December), Michelle was now the official team leader instead of just the éminence grise of decathlon. She picked the practice times and locations, and as someone who said a recognizable routine was a way to “get a bullet in the head”, they were never in the same spot or at logical hours. So far, they’d had practice at two AM in a 50s themed diner (the shakes were good but the clientele was sketchy), on the G train during rush hour (only stopping to switch to the M line), and in another school’s decathlon classroom, during that class’s practice time. Betty didn’t know how MJ had even known their schedule, or how she had gotten the other team leader to apologize for walking in on Midtown in their own school.

Several of them were about to protest three stops into the second practice on the train, but Ned did brightly add the fact that the change in locale would help them be comfortable in any competition setting, and they really were on top of their game now.

Looking at the warehouse, however, Betty did wonder if this time was a little too much.

MJ appeared at an upper window like she was a mysterious wealthy man in his empty manor, and called down to them. “Yo, losers. Door’s open.”

Betty exchanged a wary look with Cindy, and pushed open the door. Liz was already inside, texting on her phone oblivious to Ned pacing nervously in front of her. They all gathered, MJ looking on from behind Ned with her arms crossed in front of her chest. It was awhile before he spoke.

“There’s something we need to tell you guys. We haven’t been telling the truth.” Ned began, and hunched his shoulders as if he was expecting them to yell at him for dishonestly. “First of all, we’re not really from Nevada.”

“Well, yeah, duh.” Liz said, completely nonplussed. Betty wished she’d been a little more sensitive about a subject with which seemed to mean so much to Ned, but she could admit she wanted to say the exact same thing.

“Wh-“ Ned’s lips parted in shock.

“I asked Peter if he’d ever been to Las Vegas and he said “Las what?” Abe chimed in. MJ buried her face in the palms of her hands at that.

“So if it wasn’t Nevada, where are you really from?” Even though this was Ned, the boy she had a frankly embarrassingly large crush on, Betty was a journalist first and foremost and she was determined to get to the bottom of this.

“Please say you guys are really aliens, I have a lot of money riding on this,” Flash whined, flipping through a little black book.

“I told you, it was totally the circus! Michelle and Peter are so dexterous and the life of a carnie is a detached one,” said Abe triumphantly, holding a finger up in the air to underline his point.

“Doesn’t explain Ned. Can I make one last change to my bet?” Liz said. “I’m switching my guess from mutants to CIA.”

“Aliens!” Flash crooned again.

MJ started to laugh, and they all stopped talking and stared at her. “Ha, that would have been good. No, we were in HYDRA.”

Silence— Flash actually stumbled a half step back and the movement made Ned visibly wince.

“Like, Nazi-Hydra? Very publicly defeated and wiped out a year ago Hydra?”

“They haven’t been wiped out, they just went further into hiding, like the rats they are.” MJ said with venom in her voice. Betty refused to let herself flinch. “They’re still around, and that’s just part of the problem.”


“We weren’t with them by choice!” Ned blurted, making eye contact with Betty, and it hurt, the way his eyes were full of pleading to believe him.

“Ned, are you kidding me, of course you didn’t join hYDRA,” Betty was the first to speak, almost exasperated. “You’re like, a human ray of sunshine.”

She waved her hand dismissively to underline her point, and his resulting flush was quickly added to Betty’s list of top 21 favorite Ned expressions.

“MJ is too cool to join a bunch of fascists.” Cindy added, and everyone made little noises of agreement. “And Peter has too much of a ‘helping people’ vibe to ever sign up for murderous organizations.”

“Uh- thank you guys. Yeah, uh we were kidnapped, and then trained in this facility in upstate New York. We only escaped in-“ He turned to MJ. “When was it?”

“Late June.”

“Yeah, June, Anyway, aw, heck this is hard to talk about.” He slumped against the edge of the old desk.

“You may now ask questions.” MJ broke the silence. “You get five minutes.”

“MJ! We said at least an hour for them to talk about it with us.”

“Fine, thirty, maybe.” MJ grumbled.

“We can’t tell you everything, because some of it isn’t our story to tell, and some of it-“ Ned continued, still wringing his hands.

“We don’t want to talk about.” MJ frowned and crossed her arms.

“We get it, we haven’t unlocked your full tragic backstory yet.” Liz said.

“That’s like, the DLC and we’re playing the main game.” Flash reasoned out, nodding to himself. “So did you get sent on missions? Oh, did you have to kill anyone? What kinda guns did you use? Was it alien tech-“

Liz beat Betty to stepping on Flash’s foot. “Flash, completely not chill. Read the room man.”

He shrugged her off with a scowl, and continued in a less giddy tone, which Betty supposed was an upgrade. “How do we know this is true, and not another story to throw us off the true tale?” Never mind, not an upgrade. Flash was narrowing his eyes at Michelle and Ned like this was another video from TheTinfoilFedora (what, Betty had checked his channel out- the videos, though batshit, were compelling!).

“Flash!” Cindy punched him in the arm. MJ or Ned didn’t look offended, however.

“I understand your desire for visual proof.” MJ walked over to him, looking him dead in the eyes and removing the bracelet she wore. And Holy Jesus and Ida Wells above, was that a brand ? A barcode and several numbers stood out on the skin of her wrist. “This was my identification. X-23. I think they would have given me the designation of “General” in a few years.”

Even Flash couldn’t miss that atom bomb of a vibe check. Nothing was said for a while. Betty wished they’d had a class in talking to your friends delicately about their extremely traumatic lives without causing further harm- it seemed like it would be more useful than health class. Most of the boys in her class wouldn’t be in a situation that needed a condom for years anyway.

Abe, in a manner that was very out of character from his outspoken and cheerful persona, had been quiet since the HYDRA revelation. “Dude, what the fuck.” Betty had never heard Abe curse before, or sound so serious. “How old were you?”

“I was uh- 12, 13? MJ was 11ish. Peter- well, that’s part of the problem. We don’t know. Maybe his whole life? He doesn’t remember anything else.”

A lot of things were starting to click into place for Betty, and by the matching looks of horror on the others’ faces, it was clicking for them as well.

“Why- why did they take you guys?” She finally asked, pulling herself up by her journalistic muckraking bootstraps.

“Well,” Ned and MJ exchanged a nervous look. They did that thing where it looked like they were having a conversation with just their eyes, and it seemed a conclusion was reached as Ned turned back to the group. MJ looked more nervous than Betty had ever seen her, in that she could actually see an emotion on the girl’s face. Her jaw was clenched and she was toying with the edge of her boot- Betty would bet all her beanie babies that there was a knife or something there. “We were all, really smart kids. We did some tests, there weren’t many people who would have missed us if we disappeared, and um, I- Imaybealittlemagicorsomething?”

The last words became a squeak. “You may be what, Ned?” Cindy prodded. In response, he waved a hand and a glistening orange portal shimmered into light before him, his face momentarily illuminated as if from some sort of otherworldly bonfire. He looked breathtaking, and Betty bit one of her knuckles in an attempt not to scream. Cute, nice boy also has a tragic backstory and freaking magic powers? This was not fair. Cindy took a second from freaking out about magic being real, to shoot her a knowing look.

“Uh, magic? I thought I didn’t have it anymore, because… reasons… but recently it reappeared and I gotta find out whatever I can about it.”

“What happen-“ Abe began.

“One more question. I’m getting a headache.” Michelle barked, sounding like a general- no, like something far more important and powerful- a teenage academic decathlon captain.

“Why are you telling us this now?” Liz spoke.

“Well, I wanted to tell you guys, because I mean, we’re a team! We’re friends, right?” Betty gave him an encouraging nod, and the smile Ned sent back reignited the treacherous butterflies in her stomach.

“Duh,” Liz said, rolling her eyes, in a gesture that was very reminiscent of MJ.

“Hell yeah!” Abe grinned, and Abe’s enthusiasm was so infectious that Betty saw even MJ’s lips twitch upwards.

“Also, we need your help.” Ned said, more seriously. “I told you we don’t know where Peter came from, right? Well, we’re trying to do a couple things. Find out whatever we can about magic, because maybe we can figure out how it’s connected to HYDRA, figure out who Peter is, and-“ He paused, a muscle jumping in his jaw, eyes unfocused.

“The last thing?” Betty gently asked, Ned blinking in response.

“Yeah. The last thing is we’re going to find out where HYDRA is hiding so they can be taken out once and for all.”

“Operation Burn the Stumps,” MJ smirked and crossed her arms.

“MJ’s working with her mentor-“ MJ squawked in offense and tried to slap at Ned, who laughed and ducked out of the way, “sorry, dangerous and distant accomplice, to take out what we do find. Peter- uh, he’s doing some other stuff, this is, really hard for him. Anyway, we’ve had a hard time locating stuff. SHEILD is gone, and even so we don’t know who to trust. But you guys are smart, and, and we trust you.”

Betty felt like she’d just been handed a baby bird to cup in her hands and keep safe from the world- and though she was terrified of fucking it up, she wasn’t sure she’d ever gotten a better gift. Her teammates seemed similarly touched and taken aback, even the usual effortlessly cool Liz looking ruffled.

“Hmm, I can’t put this on my college applications, but I have room for an extracurricular since I quit ballet.” Liz had adjusted herself and regained a normal composed demeanor. Now, it looked as if she was already rearranging her schedule, planning which color to use for writing in “ Extrajudicial Removal of International Terrorist Cells” in her 2PM slot on Tuesdays . Betty was planning to use her sparkly orange gel pen, personally. “That, and Midtown is more crater than school right now, so I guess I could call this experimental learning.”

“Are you kidding me,” Flash looked to be literally vibrating. “This is everything I’ve waited my entire life for. A quest? Mystery? Powers beyond comprehension? AhHHhH!”

Abe put a hand on his shoulder to keep him from jumping into the air. She was really regretting being nice and giving Flash coffee earlier. Abe’s nightmare raccoon, which had been quiet (somehow reading the room better than Flash) chittered and raised its paw in a salute like gesture.

“I think that means we’re in.” Abe said, no one questioning the fact that the raccoon appeared to have human levels of cognition (and spite). Whatever, New York was a weird place. There were probably rats doing Shakespeare and differential calculus in the sewers somewhere. If she saw one, she’d probably just ask for help with her homework.

Ned was looking at her. She jolted out of her rat-based reverie and masterfully suppressed her meep of surprise. “Of course! You know I can never resist a scoop, also, y’know, whatever you need Ned. Me, helping? It’s a date, well, not a date, hahah, just-”

“Ooookay. Well, what she meant is, We’re all helping. We’re the Midtown Acadec team. We bully criminals, go to Denny’s, and we’ll take down some murderous organizations too.” Cindy, blessed Cindy, saved her from her rambling.

MJ blinked, and Betty couldn’t ever remember seeing such a vulnerable expression on her face. “T-thank you guys.” She murmured, and steeled herself. “Don’t think this gets you out of practice, though. We’ve got State coming in 8 weeks, and we are going to crush all of their bones, and eat the dust of their skeleton-“

Betty smiled, tuning out MJ’s gloriously murderous speech and looking at the strange little family (complete with a raccoon that was currently pickpocketing Flash) around her. Yeah, they were gonna crush some HYDRA bones. For MJ, Peter, and Ned. They deserved a family, and they were going to get one.

Notes:

bonus:

“Wait… Operation Burn the Stumps? BTS! Oh my gosh we gotta change the name, my mom is gonna think I’ve joined a dangerous milita again, like when I was big on army twitter, but this time she’ll be right” Cindy moaned.

—————

another chpater done and it didn’t even take me multiple months boo yeah!

Chapter 26: revenge is a dish best served...

Notes:

hiihihihih

okay so I absolutely Hate this chapter, but I have been staring at the notes app for an actual month, so I'm putting Something out.

Thank you guys for your patience and for continuing to stick with me <333

this one is kinda angsty, just as a warning

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Pepper had almost broken, in the silence that fell after that damned video played. There was just so much to grieve, and she wasn’t sure how much more she had left.

She’d watched the moment she almost lost her husband (In the week after they both pretended

he wasn’t awake when she held his wrist at night, just to feel his pulse against her fingertips) She’d watched the last moments before her son’s death.

Her therapist had told her that motherhood lingers even after a child is gone. Pepper felt like whatever remained of her motherhood was scraped out of her with a jagged metal spoon when Barnes led James to his death.

But there were still young ones in the penthouse, and her husband was beside her, and she had to keep moving. So she did. She dragged herself out of bed on the third day and went to three different business meetings, hollow on the inside but her normal polished self to anyone else. It helped too, that there was no longer any alcohol in the house.

If there’s anything Pepper had learned in the last hellish years, it’s that life continues. Tony was kidnapped and somehow the world didn’t stop spinning. New York was rebuilt. And life continued after international criminals break into her house and tear everything apart.

The kids were out of school because the villain of the week’s destructive path included Midtown, but they were all keeping busy. Ned seemed the most okay out of the three, spending time on his hobbies or redoing the entire security system until it was “as strong as Fort Knox! Well, stronger than that, Ms. Pepper, because HYDRA had me crack into that one when I was like, 12, and it was worryingly insecure.” MJ plotted out decathlon meetings and strategies on an actual war table she’d intimidated Rhodey into giving her. Pepper wasn’t an idiot, however, and she’d seen that MJ had been furtively disappearing to meet up with someone, and returning more calm and content. Pepper had realized it was most likely Romanoff, who apparently got her head out of her ass enough to stop following Steve around like a puppy. Good. Pepper may not particularly like the spy right now, but she’d much rather have her as anything other than an enemy- even a tentative, shady ally was better. Natasha may not have Steve’s super strength, but Pepper knew who the more dangerous individual was, and it certainly wasn’t Stars and Stripes.

Peter… was doing as best as could be expected. The brain scans and checkups Pepper had forced him into revealed nothing other than the anomalies of being an enhanced former hydra trainee, and even Helen Cho was baffled by the description of his attack and subsequent loss of memory. She and Tony played a balancing act of keeping a close eye on him while still letting him go out as Spider-Man, which was starting to be worryingly often. The three of them had taken to sitting or working together, most often in silence, but still in each others’ company. It was the only part of Pepper’s day where she could breathe easily, and she suspected it was the same for Tony.

She walked through the penthouse, her steps so much quieter than usual in bare feet. It was silent, MJ and Ned having left earlier murmuring about magic and conspiracies, but Tony and Peter were supposed to be working on Jarvis in the workshop. She strayed closer to the door, and just like the first time she’d seen Peter and Tony in the workshop together, a few months that felt like forever, the first thing she felt upon hearing a child’s voice was worry. Well, this time, she had a far better reason to be worried, as Peter was sitting on the floor, hunched under the workbench with his head in his hands, with Tony hovering nervously a foot or two away.

“HYDRA... they’ve moved into New York, Mr. Stark.” Peter was saying, sniffly with unshed tears. “They’re- they’re setting up operations and I’ve busted a few trucks but, I don’t know where the rest of them are and I cant- I can’t do this. They’re going to find me and Ned and MJ and they’re going to- I just, I know that they’re going to get us one day and they’ll hurt you and Ms. Pepper and I-.” “

“Pete, let the grownups handle this one-” Tony’s voice had the hair-trigger line of exhausted desperation only Pepper could really hear. They evidently had been having this conversation for a while.

“No, Mr. Stark. They can’t. They gave me these stupid powers, Ben and MJ and Ned and you and Ms. Pepper saved me, and all I’ve done is put more people in danger. I have to stop them. I have to.” He gulped, his torrent of words starting to quicken to the point where he was barely breathing inbetween. “ I’m trying so hard. I’m looking for answers, but I can’t find any, and I’m so tired and I don’t know what to do. I can’t do this alone but I can’t- I won’t- ask Ned or MJ or any of you to get involved.”

This time, Tony didn’t say a word, merely sat down under the table with Peter and held him close. She could see the terrible, anguished hesitation on his face, the fear of a problem even his brain couldn’t solve.

Peter shuddered, seemed to calm slightly in her husband’s arms. He finally spoke after a moment, his voice a hushed whisper. “I can’t go back to the lab, Mr. Stark, and they’re going to kill us and I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to go, Mr. Stark. I don’t wanna go.

Pepper put her hand over her mouth to keep herself from letting out a sob and spun away from the door, her fast walk more like a sprint at this point. Hardly aware of where she was going, her heart thundered as she collapsed into a chair in her office. Powerless. Helpless. Emotions she only felt when it came to her family, it seemed. She opened the drawer with nervous hands and pulled out the ziplock bag that held James’s baby blanket. Pressing the once-soft fabric into her face with shaking fingers, she tried to pull herself together. The blanket had long since lost the smell and warmth of her son, but when she was alone, she would hold it close and pretend that the mass of it balled up still moved with breath. She wished she still had that little rabbit.

The amount of time Pepper would allow herself to hold it passed– in the first few months, she held it constantly, and when it stopped smelling like him, when an edge tore, it felt like she lost him all over again, so now she’s strict about it. A few minutes every once in a while, to grieve, just to herself. She sealed it in the bag and went to put it back in the drawer, stopping once she was confronted with the orange of a file. That package Rogers had left for Tony when he broke into their home with the goddamn murderer—. She calmed herself quickly- if the blanket burned she wasn’t sure what she would do. But she’d found a package on the least-destroyed coffee table, opened it to see a flip phone, and guessed Rogers planned to leave it for Tony to call him. Pepper would do anything to keep supersoldiers from hurting her family again, so she’d shoved it in her office drawer, thinking she;d only ever use it in an effort to bring Rogers and Barnes to justice, to track them down .

She pressed the only pre-programmed number and let it ring up against her cheek, all while staring at the baby blanket in its creased ziplock bag.

“Tony?” Rogers voice over the tinny speaker sounded almost hopeful, damn him. Pepper gripped the edge of the desk, the edges of the wood blackening under her touch.

“No.” She forced out, and steamrolled through the beginning of whatever bullshit he was about to speak. “I need a… favor.”

“Well-“ Hesitant. Steve was a bleeding heart, but not that much of a bleeding heart. She’d been on enough business calls to know he wasn’t going to bite, not with things as they were. If she wanted his help, she’d have to give him something. Did she even have anything left to give?

“Rogers. Do not misunderstand. I hate you, and I will never allow you anywhere near Tony again, but there’s something you need to help with. No excuses.” Hating the words before she spoke them, she continued after a breath. “HYDRA’s active, and they’re in New York City.” No indication of surprise from the other line. He already knew, or had gotten better at lying. Well, she supposed he’d had a lot of practice recently. “Tony doesn’t have his suits, and the Avengers are scattered. I don’t have another choice but to ask for your… help.”

Steve sighed, and she could picture him rubbing his face against his palm in exhaustion on the other end. “I won’t let Bucky get that close to hydra again. And again, the authorities are looking for us anyway. No way we can risk it. Sorry.” A bit pointed, because she was pretty sure he thought that she was responsible for that, and not MJ. An opening too, for her to make an offer. One more thing to give up.

“I- I will. If you do this, if you take out HYDRA so that they’re all safe,” Pepper was gripping the phone with both hands now, the words traitorously leaving her tongue. One more thing to give up. She looked at the blanket and sent a silent apology to her son. Could she really let the small wisp of justice she might get after half a decade of hell slip through her fingers, shake hands with the devil? “I’ll see if I can get the charges dropped.”

She could. Now, there was a beat of surprise on the other end, but she was too focused on not melting the phone to concentrate on it. “For me or for…” Rogers started to ask, and Pepper’s stomach clenched in a confusing mixture of relief and self-hatred.

“For- for him too. If you make sure that Peter and my husband are safe,” I’m so sorry Jamie, I’m so sorry, I have to protect your father and the other kids. I promise, I promise I’ll make it right but hydra must pay and I’m not powerful enough to do it alone. Pepper squeezed her eyes shut, her tears evaporating the second they rolled down the too-hot surface of her cheek. “I’ll do what I can for him.”

“We’ll do it.” He had that puppy-like hope in his voice, and though she could barely hear it over the ringing in her ears, it made her want to vomit. “Thank you, Ms.-”

“Stop.” Pepper meant for the authority and strength she normally carried to come out, but it sounded more like the exhausted husk of a person she really felt like. “Just- Just don’t. Take out HYDRA, then we’ll talk.”

She hung up with what would have been a decisive click of the phone snapping shut, but it was ruined as the frame started to melt together. Pretty soon, it was a twisted mess of iron and plastic in the heat of her hand. Pepper staggered into her office chair, feeling like she’d just had ten rounds in the ring.

She glanced at the blanket and wanted nothing more than to hold it close. But she couldn’t. Maybe it was the fear of the extremis in her blood making her burn too hot, maybe it was the melted plastic of that phone call still clinging to her, maybe it was the grief of years on her shoulders, maybe it was the decision she just made, to throw away her last chance at any restitution, but she couldn’t bring herself to open up the bag again. James and his warmth was gone, and right now, she didn’t deserve even the ghost of it.

Notes:

alosososo I just wanted to address something that I couldn't fit in this chapter, but wanted to mention. I've gotten a lot of questions about how could Pepper/tony not consider that peter is totally their son? my reasoning is that it's been a while, they literally saw (and in tony's case, held) a 'body' that looked exactly like their child. They've had years to accept it and likely have gone through therapy to accept the fact that their son is dead.

I promise, though, that the reveal is coming. It's in three chapters, I believe.

This was orignally going to have three sections (titled in my notes app as Pepper not having a good time, Peter and Bucky share a milkshake, and Decathalon Team conspiracy board), but again, I just had to get something out because the writers block is clinical at this rate. most of the next chapter is already written, so you should be seeing that shortly.

***
this months marks a year of me reading/writing fanfic, which is Insane. thank you all for being there at any point of it, everyone has been welcoming and amazing and wonderful.

Chapter 27: …with a milkshake and a side of fries

Notes:

héllò. it is so late at night but ! chapter done. enjoy, hopefully

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Peter didn’t feel like he deserved to wear Spider-Man’s suit these days, not since he had a breakdown in front of Mr. Stark. He hadn’t gone out in red since.

Every night he dreamt of the sea. Sometimes through a window on a day where it rained, watching white foam crest the tops of gray waves and gray sky. Sometimes at sunset, where fire burst from water but everything was alright. But always, he could sense that presence by him, and they would call him by his name, the name that was his name but he couldn’t quite remember anything about except the fact that it used to be his. And he’d turn, his heart full of a particular warmth he can’t remember, but before he saw the faces he’d wake up and New York would never be so cold.

It was like he was scraped raw and clean but he waves each day, and it was like the salt water was eroding his very essence. He didn’t feel like Spider-Man, but he didn’t feel like Peter Parker either. These days, these days he just felt like SX-24.

So honestly, tracking down the hydra leads the decathlon team had scrounged up was a welcome distraction, and he was soon using the black suit— so nice black, with the fact that it didn’t show blood.

This wasn’t going well. Peter’s been… anxious, and when he was anxious he was desperate, and when he was desperate he “fought stupid” as MJ said. “Reckless and without regard for your safety” would probably be how Ms. Pepper would put it.

Asking the one-armed super soldier with a scowl you could see through his half-mask to grab a bite to eat after you re-met him while fighting HYDRA was maybe at the top of Peter’s reckless behaviors, but hey, the night was still young, and he’d saved Peter’s life twice, so he figured he owed him a (non alcoholic) drink.

(And if the sight of the his too-familiar form made the place where Peter’s spine met his head buzz with unpleasant resonance, if Peter felt like he was on the beach again whenever he saw the stranger, looking out into a vast ocean of memories he couldn’t reach, well, he’d keep that to himself.)

“C’mon, this place is great,” Peter called back to his massive shadow, stuffing his mask into his back pocket. He hid the nausea building up in his gut under a veneer of fake cheer. The door to the little diner swung open with a tinkle of a bell, and Peter sighed with relief as he stepped into the much warmer interior. He slid into the hightop in the corner- his favorite- and waved A-6- James Buchanan Barnes- Winter Soldier- the man over. He resolved to just call him Barnes.

The two of them made an odd pair at the table. Barnes barely fit in the seat, his inhuman amounts of muscle and heavy body armor making him into a hulk of a man. Peter was so small and slight his feet didn’t touch the laminate floor below.

A big clock above the bar read 2:47 am. Other than the light pencil scratches of the waitress in the corner doing sudoku, and the faint noise of someone frying something in the back, there was silence. They were alone.

“We are… exposed?” Barnes managed to get out, turning it into a question at the end, one hand on a concealed firearm, glancing around the diner until his eyes landed on Gladys, an older waitress with a surly disposition and at least a pound of eyeshadow. He squinted at her, as if calculating how long it would take to leap over the bar and snap her neck, which would have been unnerving if Peter didn’t live with MJ.

“Nah dude, no one comes here at this time. We had a decathlon practice here even later last week, and it was just us and Gladys. Speaking of…” He raised his voice and hand to the disgruntled woman who had moved onto a crossword. “Hi Gladys!”

“Oh, it’s you again.” She squinted back at Peter with a suspicion that rivaled Bucky’s.

“Aww, Gladys, don’t be like that, I promise not to solve all of your puzzles in minutes this time!” She grunted in response, but seemed to loosen considerably, even deigning to slap two laminated menus on their sticky table. Barnes still looked like he was expecting someone to come out of the walls and shoot him, so Peter just winked at him, whispered ‘watch this’ and continued to speak, “Anyway, I’m too busy tonight. We’re actually dangerous, highly trained secret agents. The stain on his chin is definitely blood.” Barnes took a moment from gaping at him to surreptitiously wipe the red splotch off his face. “ We’re secret agents with deadly skills on a secret mission.”

“That’s nice, dear.’” The waitress said, not looking up from her book. Barnes turned to Peter with a quizzical eyebrow.

“It’s New York.” Peter shrugged. “People have always seen weirder.”

“Too young?” Barnes said, in that short, stilted way of his. Peter knew it well. He’d spoken just like that until he’d been around a chatterbox and a super-reader. He’d always attributed it to the isolation, but he was starting to wonder, in between flashes of memory of nights in the cell where A-6 told him stories of half remembered dreams, if it had more to do with the man in front of him now.

“It’s not that late! I’m not too young!” Peter squawked, kicking his feet forward off of the bar of stool and letting them swing in mid air. Peter’s slowly growing social skills told him that perhaps this was a time for Playful Ribbing or Friendly Banter, but his next sentence was cut off when he saw Barnes’s face. He was staring at Peter’s dangling chucks, his knuckles going white on the edge of the table, and his face tensing even further. What was-

A-6 had come back early and his arms were reaching for SX-24 and for one glorious moment, SX-24 thought he would be hugged again and then.

The cool metal against his throat. His legs kicking out for any sort of surface but he was too small. Someone was yelling at A-6 to stop and-


Oh. not great.

Peter rubbed the heel of his palm into his forehead as the fluorescent lights of the diner swam, staring down into the tabletop.

“So you left that note for me.” Peter said, a little quieter as two furrowed-brow Barneses swam in his vision.

“Yes.” Barnes was about as forthcoming as a brick wall.

“Why?”

“Because. I wanted… Well, I-“

“So are you going to order anything or what?” Gladys interrupted, ignoring Barnes’s instinctive jolt towards the very obvious weapon at his hip.

“I’ll get a kid’s waffle meal, a strawberry milkshake, and fries!!” Peter chirped.

“You want toppings on that?” Gladys asked somewhat distractibly, staring at Barnes’s upper arms.

“Yes!”

“Which ones?” Gladys, growing more annoyed as her ogling was interrupted.

“All of them!” He grinned, Gladys sighed. She scribbled a few things down irritably, then both she and Peter turned to Barnes expectantly.

He said nothing.

“You at least have to try the french fries!” Peter said with only slightly forced enthusiasm. He wondered if this was how Ned felt, trying to coax him into eating something on hard days. Bucky just raised an eyebrow, but Peter’s exposure to multiple super spies could read the multiple statements in that gesture, the question of “they can’t be that good.” It was also the most emotion the man had shown, so he knew he needed to jump on it.

“The fries have absolutely no flavor, I love them. Don’t look at me like that Gladys, you know it’s true. Anyway, they remind me of when we got lucky and had double ration bars.“ A slight flinch from the larger man. Another reaction, Peter cataloged. The expression was there and gone in a moment, and he turned and nodded to Gladys.

“Get him a milkshake too, please!” Peter added, but Gladys seemed to be ignoring him.

“Are you sure there’s nothing else we can get you sugar?” She purred, and Peter hadn’t thought it possible, but Barnes became even more stiff, unwelcoming, and threatening with her advance. He almost laughed, but another memory hit him like a bullet.

You need to eat. Take it.” A-6, silloetted by the skylight of the cell, leaned down to SX-24’s huddled form. In his iron hand, his serving of daily rations. SX-24 was weak with hunger, but no one had ever given him their own food.

“You could have told me he was a fruit before I flirted with him.” Gladys’s muttered complaint to Peter snapped him back into the present. She stalked off and the conversation went with her.

“I could eat a lot more,” Peter blurted, nervously playing with a paper straw wrapper. Anything to avoid Barnes’s heavy gaze or the pounding headache and strange visions in his skull. “I just. Well, I never had the kids' meals before so I like to have them as much as I can. Plus, Ms. Pepper always makes sure to save some of Ned’s dinner for me.”

“My.. friend did that- does that for me sometimes.” Barnes said slowly, like he was still figuring out the details himself.

“Saves dinner for you to come home to?”

“Yeah. Home, I guess.” Barnes looked out the blurry window, streaked with pouring rain and neon light pollution alike.

Bad days. A-6 won’t talk to him. In training he seems to hit extra hard. It’s like living with a wild animal. Good days. A-6 looks him in the eye and sees him. There is someone to brave the night with. SX-24 doesn’t deserve friends, but he might have one.

Peter blinked away the spots of light, happy that Barnes was preoccupied with the window. This was the longest memory yet. They were accelerating. That had to be a bad sign.

“Here you go.” Gladys was bustling in a moment later, dropping their food off with a huff. She was back in her crossword corner before Peter could squeak out a thank you.

Peter waited until Barnes was engrossed in his milkshake (MJ would have been proud of his devious thinking) and then struck.

“So we used to know eachother, back then, in HYDRA.”

Barnes froze. “So you remember then.”

“Only a little. Pieces. But enough.” Peter worried his lip between his teeth, the vinyl below him creaking as he sqirmed in his seat. “Do you know how I got there? Please, I’m trying to-

Hey! You have to bring me back! My [STATIC],, they’ll be looking for me!” He was screaming at the man in the corner of the cell, the man who had ripped him from everything he’d ever known, but it turned into a whimper as his voice ran out. “Please, My name is [STATIC]. I’m really scared.”

His knuckles were white around his Captain America figurine- his favorite- that he held in front of his chest like a shield, the lights of his light up sneakers swimming in his vision.

“James?” A man in a long white coat said. And then there were arms reaching for him and-

Peter came to with his waffle threatening to make a reappearance, and he swallowed down bile with an audible gulp.

The last flash of memory felt the most vivid, most real, but so much was missing, like Peter had been swimming in a sea tuned to a dead channel.

“Drink something cold. It’s grounding.” Barnes looked at him, and Peter could pretend that it was with concern. “Flashbacks?”

“Yeah.” Barnes just grunted in response. Peter sipped from his gummy worm-oreo cookie-sprinkle-nuts-chocolate chips-and bananas strawberry shake. He had to admit, it did help.

James. James? Where he had he heard that name? Had Ms. Pepper and Mr Stark’s son been in there with him? Or no, Barnes’s first name was James, Peter remembered from Ned’s history lessons/fan boy rants.

Something wet ran from Peter’s nose into his strawberry milkshake. He looked down. A spot of red in the pink: blood. He wiped iit with one of the brown paper napkins and took another cautious sip of his drink.

“I’m sorry.” Barnes said.

When they asked A-6 if he wanted to leave, he took it.

SX-24’s first night alone in the darkness was spent huddled in the corner, and it wasn’t all of the things that could befall him that haunted his mind, but the image of A-6 turning one last time-

“For- for everything that happened in there. I don’t remember it all, but I do remember leaving you behind, and- hurting you.”

Peter pushed his milkshake aside and stared at the man across from him. It was silent for a moment, except for the rain pouring down into the New York city streets. It was so different from where they’d been all those years ago.

“Let’s start over.” Peter squared his jaw and thrust his hand forward. Ms. Pepper had taught him how to make a good introduction. “I’m Peter, what’s your name?”

Barnes’s eyes were wide, blinking like he wasn’t quite sure this was real. He looked down at his one remaining palm like it wasn’t his own. Peter could understand that feeling.

“I- I don’t know.” Barnes whispered, still not meeting Peter’s eyes.

“Well, your name is just what the people that are important to you call you. What’s your favorite name you’ve been called? Or, if you don’t have any, you can just make one up! That’s what I did.”

“I like-“ He swallowed. “Bucky.”

“Bucky? Cool.” Peter let a smile- a real one- bloom on his face. “I’m Peter.”

They shook hands, somewhat awkwardly, but Peter supposed it was good for two ex-hydra experiments.

“And hey, I made an awesome robot hand for my friend. Maybe I can make you a new arm.”

“But- aren’t you worried I’ll hurt you with an arm like that?” Bucky’s head shot up, his eyes wild at the possibility, leaning forward till the vinyl seat cracked.

“I don’t think you will. I think I’m going to trust that you won’t. After all, I forgive you. For all of it.”

Bucky leaned back again, and they spent the rest of the time before the rain let up sitting in a comfortable silence.

When the downpour subsided into a drizzle, Peter yawned and stretched, hopping down off of his seat.

“Well, I better get home now that I won’t be soaked.”

“Here, I’ll pay.” Bucky said gruffly, before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a handful of change and putting it on the tabletop.

“Dude, I appreciate it, but that’s like, two dollars and thirty six cents in change. Uhhh, I think this should?” Peter pulled out a hundred dollar bill and placed it next to Bucky’s pile of coins. “Alright, well, I’ll see you around?”

Peter gave him a two fingered salute while trying to walk backwards, promptly knocking over a decorative fake plant. Gladys looked up for the first time in a half hour to glare.

“I’d better go. That lady’s scarier than half the hydra trainers.” Peter stage whispered to Bucky, before leaving the diner with a wave and a jingle of the bell overhead.

***

“After all, I forgive you.”

Bucky went- well, Bucky went home , to Steve in a small apartment in New York and it was like it was the fourties’ again. He felt alive for the first time since the fourties’.

As he watched the rain start up again, pouring down like a baptism, he sat across from Steve at the little table and thought of something other than the scattered terrifying memories in his head. He thought of absolution, of new beginnings. Peter Parker had achieved the impossible— he’d made Bucky feel like maybe, just maybe, he could be saved

Notes:

bucky and peter both have no idea how modern currency works, and honestly? good for them

I’d just like to thank each and every one of you. I’ve been having a really difficult time in my life, and went through a sensationally terrible breakup last week, and this story has been fighting me. Every time I almost gave up on writing it, I got some lovely comment telling me they were excited for more, and I felt new determination. Thank you guys for your patience :)

These chapters are getting split up more than I had in my outline, so it’s changed a few things.
Next chapter will likely include: decathlon kids, a certain marvel character who has not yet made an appearance, angst, and the beginning of the end.


I’m not super happy with this chapter, but I’m sorta adopting the “just post it anyway” stratagey.

Chapter 28: we at the hotel, motel, holiday inn

Notes:

i bring you the last crack chapter of the fic. I wanted to start on the Actual end and lead up to the reveal, but the angst juices weren’t flowing and I wanted to get something out.

ye ol hasn’t been edited, will edit later.

placeholder title lol

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Mj rolled out a big map of New York, and the Midtown decathalon team stared at it like it was a war table.

“Oh shoot! I forgot to bring pushpins!” Ned groaned, before accidentally facepalming with his metal hand.

The second the words were out of his mouth, Flash slammed his backpack on the table with a dramatic flourish and removed a plastic bag filled with what looked like string, highlighters, and other assorted office supplies. “I’m ALWAYS ready to make conspiracy boards. The need could strike at ANY MOMENT! CONSTANT VIGILANCE, LEEDS!”

Ned just scowled as he rubbed the now sore spot on his forehead, but he did take Flash’s pushpins and place them at the hydra nests the decathlon team had already located.

“Uh, so do we need to still worry about those?” Abe piped up, gesturing at the locations. Right, the team didn’t know about Spider-Man. All of them had been invaluable as they triangulated data- and MJ almost felt bad keeping the truth from them. But Peter, though he’d attended a few of their sessions, still didn’t feel comfortable telling the midtown kids.

“Taken care of. And so have the few we missed.” MJ said shortly.

Abe nodded, wide eyed.

“Hey! You can’t just move on!” Flash complained, his fists balled at his sides like a small child throwing a tantrum.

Liz who pulled him back down. Liz, “Plausible deniability, Flash. If they can’t prove that we knew what was happening, they can’t hold us liable. “

“Right well, let’s get back in to it.” Ned said with a sigh, straightening up and leaning away from the table.

“Before we do anything else, we’ve got to talk.” Liz broke in. “We can’t practice here anymore, it’s the worst! If it’s not the rusty nails, it’s the fact that it’s frickin freezing!”

“Also, there’s definitely exposed asbestos in the insulation,” Cindy piped up, shifting nervously under Mj’s gaze. “And barrels of chemicals that have been banned by the FDA and EPA for decades. I should know, I’ve been trying to get some for like, years.”

MJ turned to Flash last, because out of everyone, he was strangely the one who understood the need for secret places the most.

“It pains me to say this, but I agree.” Flash said mournfully, grimacing like Mj had just asked him to forsake his first born. “I didn’t know a place so aesthetic could be so cold. Also a rat ate a chunk of my Louis Vuitton shoes.”

“That was Terrance actually.” Abe muttered, patting the raccoon on the head.

“Fine,” MJ said, allowing her lips to show a quirk of displeasure. She supposed it was safe enough to find a new location, and she estimated that the team would be at least thirty percent more productive in a more hospitable environment. “We’ll find some where else.”

“Yesss! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Cindy grinned, and MJ really couldn’t feel too badly about the increased risk, now could she?

“Plus, we can kill two birds with one stone. Some of the old articles I’ve dug up mention a library somewhere near Bleecker Street.” Betty, perhaps sensing MJ’s remaining traces of hesitation, sweetened the pot. “We could study there, and see if we can find any more clues.”

And so that’s how they ended up in front of an ornate building on a Tuesday morning, the heavy oak door standing up the the gauntlet of Abe jiggling the lock and Flash’s skinny shoulders thrown into it. They were about to say fuck it and head to a nearby Starbucks (MJ voted against it, but everyone else wanted coffee), when Ned narrowed his eyes at the door and knocked twice right in the middle.

The door swung open silently, and they were greeted with a spacious and fascinating library. MJ gave the space nothing more than a cursory look over before setting her bag down on a big empty table by a window. There would be time for a perimeter check later.

“If nothing else, this is a dope ass library to work.” Ned said brightly.

They’d just gotten their pens and other supplies spread out on the massive table, Flash and Betty bickering over a supposed lead, when they were interrupted. An Asian man in traditional robes swept down the staircase, his extremely stoney expression faltering only when he saw the gaggle of teenagers before him.

“aH,” An almost highpitched squeak came out of him when he saw Flash put his feet on the table and he doubled his speed in approaching them. MJ, in an instant, crossed to stand by Ned so she’d be inbetween her friends and the threat. “What in the name of- how on earth did you get in here? Did you break in—“

“Uhh I knocked? My mom and my Lola raised me right, you know!” As the shock of the stranger’s arrival wore off, Ned’s voice grew more indignant.

“You knocked?” The man blinked in surprise, stopping his power walk and speaking slowly. “And it just.. let you in?”

“Yes?” Ned offered.

“STRANGE!” Wong bellowed, and at first MJ thought he was commenting on the events, but then a white man in a rather silly outfit (bright colours and a cape, no thank you, very impractical) rounded the corner.

“Did you finally find out what all that infernal noise was? I swear, if I have to deal with those bat creatures from that screams dimension again-” The bearded guy was pinching his nose between two long fingers, before also stopping when he saw the decathalon team. “Ew, why are there children in here?”

“I have no idea.” Wong said faintly.

“Again, the door was open! We thought this was just a like, public library!” Ned seemed to be working himself up to a full rant, but his energy was redirected. “Wait, did your cape just move by ITSELF? That is SO COOL can I-“

Ned took a half step forward, before beard guy moved a shaking (interesting- MJ catalogued it for later) hand and a large glowing shield was erected between them and the two men.

“I’m not running a daycare here kids, now shoo-“ the man in the cape drawled, before being cut off by the resulting explosion of excitement of the teenagers who had just been shown magic. Even MJ couldn’t help herself from rasing an eyebrow.

“YOU HAVE MAGIC?!” Flash yelled the loudest.

“Maybe you guys can help me,” Ned said, a lot softer, but the enthusiasm was shining bright in his eyes, and he was rocking back and forth on his feet.

At Ned’s comment, the Asian guy narrowed his eyes and drew a circle in front of his face, studying Ned through a ripple of multicoloured light. Nothing changed externally, but she guessed by the man’s widening eyes that something had changed for him.

“Strange,” he said. “That boy has magic radiating off of him.”

“You a Zealot, kid? I don’t know if you’ve heard, but Dormammu, is gone and not coming back this time. And the Sanctum is protected, so” Strange took a careful step forward, like a cat stalking its prey, and MJ fingered the knife in her back pocket.

“Dude I have no idea what the heck any of that means,” Ned gaped at him.

“And we’re not giving you any information until you tell us who the hell you are.” MJ glared, putting as much steel into her expression as possible.

“Yeah, you- you weirdos! Why are you asking all a bunch of kids all of these personal questions!” Ah, MJ loved Flash’s bluster and tendency to lash out when he was uncomfortable.

“I am Steven Strange.” He said with a smirk, pulling himself up straighter, his cape artfully billowing behind him.

“The neurologist?” Betty asked, incredulous. “No way.”

“Oh god, even children are affirming his massive ego.” The other man groaned.

“We go to a STEM school. I had to read one of your articles in bio last year.” Liz said, not looking impressed at all by the display.

Strange smirked again and raised an eyebrow. “Ah, I’m sure it was hard for you to understand. What were your thoughts?”

“That you liked to hear yourself talk too much.” Liz deadpanned, not even bothering to look up and instead studying her manicure. The other man gave a choked off laugh, and when Strange glared, he swiftly moved into an introduction.

“I’m Wong.” He said gruffly, and explained nothing else.

“Anyway, you’re in the Sanctum Santorum, the Center of New York’s defence against mystical threats.”

“Isn’t that the Avengers though?” Cindy asked.

Strange’s eye twitched. “No. We deal with threats beyond those of one mere cosmos.”

“Okay but like, I’ve heard of avengers and never you saving us or anything…” Flash, ready to ride or die for his favourite superheros even in front of a literal magic man.

“That doesn’t mean we haven’t done anything!” Strange threw up his hands in exasperation and then pinched the bridge of his nose. “We study and train, reading and meditation to learn the mystic arts and employ them against the forces that seek to destroy our existence. I am the Sorceror Supreme and-”

“No way.” Strange looked at Flash’s interruption with open mouthed annoyance, but before he could continue, flash had more to say. “You’re totally not a sorcerer.”

“Okay right?” Betty added, turning away from the two men to talk to Flash. “I mean, study? Meditation? A far cry from the innate ability of a sorcerer.”

“So what type of caster do you think he is?” Ned asked, taken away from life-changing information specific to him by his greater calling of being a nerd.

“Oh, he’s textbook wizard,” Betty continued, and Cindy gave an appraising nod.

“Maybe like, monk subclass?” Cindy suggested. “Just with all the meditating and stuff.”

“No way, have you seen how weak that guy is?” Flash scoffed. “He couldn’t punch anything.”

“You’re totally right. I could see sage background or something like that.” Abe added.

“I am the sorcerer supreme.” Strange tried again, sounding almost petulant.

“Wizard.” Cindy and Flash said in unison.

“He’s about as charismatic as a wet sock. Literal negative modifier, this guy. Definitely an intelligence caster.”

“Nothing about that outfit is wise.” Flash sniffed, tilting his fedora to get a closer look at strange’s robes.

“Enough!” Strange bellowed. Wong looked like he was using every muscle in his body not to burst out laughing.

“Sorry, sorry!” Ned said, and offered a sheepish smile that even managed to temper strange’s anger a bit. “I’m Ned, behind me are my friends. We’re- aw hell, you’re magic people you can probably smell lies or something. I showed signs of magic, or whatever this is” he waved both hands, and an orange portal spit itself into life. “From an early age, and uhhh HYDRA kidnapped me because of that, but they cut off my hand to see if i could still do magic after, and surprise, I couldn’t, and I thought that was the last of it until a few months ago. So they’ve been trying to help me find more about it. Also we’re trying to take them down but that’s not really relevant here.”

Strange and Wong just stared at Ned for a few moments, wearing expressions MJ found very similar to the one Flash and Abe made when Strange made his fancy barrier. Eventually, Wong cleared his throat and elbowed Strange in the side.

“Yes, well, I suppose we can offer guidance on using your magic on a trial basis.” Strange began, sounding very awkward. “We shalll… see how things go.

“Oh my gosh! Thank you thank you thank you!” Ned grinned, and in his excitement, ran straight through strange’s barrier and barrelled into the thin man, wrapping his arms around him in a bear hug.

Ah, now that’s what total shock looked like on his face. MJ couldn’t help but enjoy it, especially as though the man was unmoving, his cape folded over Ned in a hug of its own.

“Sorry,” Ned grinned. “ I just got excited. I’ll do whatever training you want me to!”

“H-how did you?” Strange began, then glared down at his cloak. “You’re supposed to- traitor.”

“This is not an easy task. It is difficult and not something to be taken lightly.” Wong said, trying to put some level of decorum back into his voice after holding back laugher for so long.”

“whatever you have coming my way, I’ve got it.” Ned stepped back with a confident grin.

“You may experience ego death, loss of anchors, all manner of hardships.” Wong continued.

“Been there, done that.” Ned waved it off with his metal hand.

You must live for some time with no possessions, go through intense physical trials,” Strange narrowed his eyes and attempted to fix his posture.

“Sir, I am not Mr. 305, and certainly not Mr. Worldwide, but I shall repeat, been there done that.”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re saying.” Strange sounded almost bewildered.

“You don’t know Pitbull?” Ned asked, rather incredulously for someone who only discovered Pitbull post hydra. He sang a line- “You know I’m on that sticky, icky icky icky icky”

“Dear lord.” Strange pinched the bridge of his nose, rubbing circles into his skin like he was anticipating future headaches. “Don’t make me regret this.I will need your full attention and effort”

“Me not working hard? Yeah right, Picture that with a Kodak.”

“Wong. Aren’t there any interplanetary threats for me to fight? Someone I need to die against repeatedly?” Strange asked with an air of desperation.

“Nope.” Wong popped the P with a satisfied smirk.

“Everyday above ground is a great day, remember that.” Ned added, like it was a piece of solemn wisdom.

“Okay, everyone out. Field trip is over.” Strange irritably flicked a hand, and the doors flew open. With some grumbling and excited chatter (and Abe bribing Terrance with beef jerky to drop the magical artifact the raccoon was chewing on) the decathlon team was packed up and out the door.

MJ hung back for a moment, staring at Strange once more. “You have to come with Ned and I.”

“You have some magical issue to dispatch?” Strange said with a sigh.

“What? No. I need a neurologist, idiot.”

Notes:

I don’t even like pitbull I was just thinking about how funny some of his lyrics are

I promise we’ll be getting into real stuff soon! I just really couldn’t write anything of substance these last few weeks.

and again, thank you guys for your support. Every time I’m about to give up (embarrassingly often) I go and look at your comments and they fuel me forward!

next chapter- Peter learns more about his memories/lack thereof. MJ plans. & more

Chapter 29: генерал

Notes:

posting this b4 ao3 goes down again ahhhhh

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The look on Tony’s face when MJ dragged a man in a red cape into the tower was priceless. It was almost worth having to put up with strange for an extended period of time. Almost.

“Uh, kid? Why is there a comic-con reject in my house?”

“He’s a neurosurgeon.” MJ cut in over Strange’s first offended noise. Now was not the time for the ego shitstorm that would become. “I’m going to make him take a look at Peter. Plus, he’s” she took a pause to narrow her eyes at him “not-not enhanced, so he’ll be more likely to keep a secret. Also, I know where he lives and I will destroy him if crossed.”

Strange stared at her in an expression of confusion he likely did not wear often, then snapped his parted mouth shut, and blinked rapidly. “Well, how charming. Children are such a delight.”

“MJayyyyy!” Ned grinned. “There’s no reason to be silly. Mr. Strange-“

“Doctor”

“Right, doctor! He knows not to break Patient confidentiality! Why, he could be public ally disgraced for that! Plus we’re gonna be friends! Mr. Stark, he’s gonna be my magical mentor!! Like Dumbledore or Yoda or something.”

“I simply said that I would show you a few things to keep you from blowing up a significant portion of New York.” The doctor drawled. “I did not sign up to be some sort of elderly guardian.”

“Why not?” Ned cocked his head, not at all put off by Strange’s frostiness. “You’re old.”

“Mr. Stark! I got JARVIS to turn on! But he’s only talking in jibberish…” Peter threw open the lab doors, his excited run only stopped by the vision of a man in a cape currently attempting to glare Ned into submission. “Uh, am I interrupting something?”

“Nope.” MJ decided to to get this show on the road before Strange or Stark had a coronary. “Found someone to look at your dumb head.”

She ruffled his hair aggressively, so that they could both pretend his apprehension was noogie-related.

“Yes, I charge by the hour and my patience is rapidly waning. I don’t have all day.” Strange snarked.

They all went into the medical wing of the tower. Mj had been avoiding it, only visiting it once when Tony had been hurt. Peter hopped up onto the table and MJ tried to control her rabbit heartbeat as Strange affixed electrodes to his forehead. Peter winced, and she she could understand why- those things were always so cold, always so shocking, always hurt-

“MJ?” Ned said gently, stepping in front of her and blocking her view of Peter.

“I uh- gotta go-“ she said, her combat boots slipping on the slick flooring as she teetered back.

Ned pursed his lips, looking worried, but didn’t say anything other than. “Alright. I’ll hold down the fort here- and be back for dinner!”

She pulled herself together enough for a nod, and slid out an open window, not able to risk the confinement of the elevator. She’d apologize to pepper for cutting open the screen and leaping down the fire escapes and window stills later.

***

“маленький генерал?” Romanoff paused from the documents she was pouring over, but didn’t look up at all to greet her. Shit, MJ was getting sloppy.

“да.” MJ, who had practically run here from the tower, came to a sudden, awkward stop, not really sure why she had come to the black widow’s preferred block of supposibly abandoned warehouses.

“Well, hi.” Romanoff said, finally turning around and offering an attempt at a smile.“I thought you-“

“Would be at the tower? So did I.” Mj took her eyes off the spy and looked at her hands, nervously pacing. “But I dunno- I just, can’t”

The words were spilling out of MJ’s mouth, and it was a weakness but she couldn’t get it to stop and she was aware of the fact that she hadn’t even grabbed her gun before she left-. She started to pace, drumming her fingers against her thighs in an effort to calm down. MJ’s had a lot of things in her life to be terrified of- so why was the terror coming now? When there was almost no danger, almost no threat? Why was she cracking now?

Natasha had crossed to an opposing wall, leaning against it in a faux-casual manner, the space and openness of the position no doubt a calculated move to make MJ feel less threatened. It was nice. MJ was starting to learn that though Romanoff knew exactly where to twist the knife, she didn’t act on it unless she absolutely had to.

“What happened?” Natasha said, blunt. That was another thing Mj liked sometimes. Romanoff too lacked the gentleness that seemed to come naturally to people like Peter and Pepper. She didn’t have to pretend to be anything she wasn’t here- anything other than a broken weapon.

“Nothing.” Michelle forced out through gritted teeth. She didn’t need to turn around to know that Natasha was raising an eyebrow.

A beat of silence. Michelle was stupid, the Black widow was an interrogator even hydra could begrudgingly respect, of course she could get feelings out of a teenage girl. “I just- we needed someone to look at Peter, because he’s had more of those… episodes- we needed a neurologist we could somewhat trust so I found someone familiar with the enhanced world and who I could blackmail,” Romanov hummed in approval.

But that’s not why you’re upset.” Romanoff asked, tilting her head as if it were a question, and not a statement.

“I’m not upset!” Mj yelled, and shut down her emotions before Nat could do more than raise her other eyebrow.

Natasha studied her for a moment. “Let’s spar.”

“Really?” MJ could feel her face perking up a bit. “Peter never wants to anymore and Ned’s never been good at it.” She rocked back and forth on her heels, itching to fight again.

Romanoff chuckled, and lashed out without warning. MJ barely dodged, stumbling back before regaining her footing in time to send a targeted strike to Romanoff’s ribcage, grumbling when the spy artfully arched out of the way.

“Cmon, маленький генерал.” Natasha taunted. “Don’t hold back on me.”

MJ merely grunted in response, and the next time Romanoff’s powerful leg came soaring towards her face, she blocked it with her forearm, earning a “Good” from Natasha. Then, they lost themselves to the fight.

It was just as MJ was beginning to tire when Natasha went for her real goal.

“So, why did you run?” She asked casually, as she swept MJ’s legs out from underneath her.

“I didn’t run! I made- a tactical retreat!” MJ scrambled to her feet with a glare.

“Oh, is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Natasha laughed again, and MJ’s glare deepened.

“ How the hell would I know?” She mumbled. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter— it’s stupid.”

“You’re angry.”

I’m a lot of things.” She didn’t like it when people could see through her. She felt itchy and exposed and vulnerable.

Natasha narrowed her eyes at MJ, and abruptly stopped her assault, which felt more ominous than if she had suddenly pulled out a knife. Without warning, the spy changed her stance, and MJ prepared to go on the defensive.

“You know, if you’re that worried about Peter being looked over, maybe that neurosurgeon can check you out too, maybe help you realise the full extent of your powers-“ Romanoff said, all too casually, with the bike building up in MJ’s throat, she couldn’t bear to hear anymore.

“No!” MJ screamed- and something snapped. She couldn’t say what, maybe it was the day, maybe it was the scalpels still glinting in her memory, but something snapped.

Natasha went flying across the room, pushed by some invisible force. The look of surprise on her face only made MJ feel more nauseous. Fuck, fuck not again.

“MJ… what was that?” Her voice was carefully controlled as she waited from a safe distance.

“It was nothing! You saw nothing!” MJ wasn’t sure how she looked right now- probably half crazed, but she was too busy trying to reign in her power, making sure that she didn’t put any honeyed commands into her words. MJ ran her hands through her hair again and again, humming the little song Peter always sang for her- it wasn’t the same without him here, but it helped. Natasha still said nothing. “I was scared.”

Natasha opened her mouth, but MJ’s word vomit beat her to it. “At the tower. I was scared. I see the gloves and I see medical rooms and everything reminds me of that stupid place, but I can’t even access my powers, a part of myself, because they took that from me, and I don’t know how to get it back or if I even want to! I don’t know why they can do it, because I just can’t.”

“Who can do what, Michelle?” Natasha asked.

“Peter, and Ned! Moving on! How can Peter swing around as Spider-Man when they destroyed him to give him those powers? How can Ned jump into magic when they cut off his fucking hand? I mean, right now Ned is just exploring his powers with this man we barely know, use them to the point where they’re flashy, where they can find us again-“ MJ cut her rant off with a shuddering breath, the room swimming amidst her panic.

“Everybody reacts to things differently. You need to trust-“

“You know as well as I that I can’t.” MJ gritted her teeth and sent the spy a murderous glare. “And I can’t- I won’t- look into my powers, test them. And I’m scared Peter and Ned are gonna leave me behind because I can’t move on, but I’m scared they’re going to get hurt even more.”

***

By the time MJ got back to the tower, brain quiet for once in exhaustion, the scrapes on her knuckles had stopped stinging as much and the sun was setting in the sky.

MJ!” Peter said, and she stiffened, seeing the crumpled napkins in his hand spotted with red. She knew she shouldn’t have trusted strange she should have— “I’m okay!”

“What?”

“I can get some of my memories back! The blood is just from the stress of my brain healing! But I don’t need to avoid it anymore, and I’m eating enough now to where my body is healing itself!” Peter was grinning and MJ could only blink in shock- this one last vestige of HYDRA’s control over them, Peter’s mind, could it really be alright?

“It is interesting,” Strange began, taking a latex glove off slowly, ignoring MJ’s glare. “Because only someone with enhanced healing could survive this level of traumatic brain injury, because that is what it is, no matter how medical they get with it.” Strange paused for a moment to look absolutely disgusted, and MJ found she could agree with him. “But eventually, given enough stimulus, the connections to those memories will heal. So it can only be done to someone with enhanced healing, but the healing that allowed it in the first place will undo it.”

“So he’s- he’s going to be okay? Remembering won’t cause, his like, brain to melt out of his ears?” MJ stammered.

“It will likely be painful, and there may be some side effects, but no, Peter will not suffer lasting harm, lose his mind, or die.”

Ned and Peter high fived after a congratulatory whoop, while Tony looked nauseous.

“Wait, we thought that could happen-“ He began, but MJ cut off his question by running and tackling Peter with enough force for him to let out an “oof”.

“We’re really gonna be okay, huh?” MJ said, her voice young with wonder. In response, Ned just put a hand on her shoulder and grinned.

“Yeah, yeah MJ, I think we are.” Peter said, and MJ couldn’t keep herself from letting out a bright peal of laughter, clear as a bell.

***

Of course, that’s when everything fell apart.

One week later, Peter sat in an abandoned warehouse in Queens, facing down a threat, a promise, and a ringing phone.

Notes:

next chapter is halfway written so should be up sooner! also the start of the reveal! I hope ao3 works today!

Chapter 30: honor

Notes:

oKay! Really short chapter this time because I really wanna keep this momentum!

I also would like to remind everybody of the angst with a happy ending tag!

this one is offensively messy/unedited, so be warned

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

There were hands around his neck there was water in his ears

They’ve found him. HYDRA had found him.

“Time to come in, SX-24.” An altered voice crooned over the speakers in the phone. His phone. Oh god, how had they found his number? How did they know ?

“No-“ he croaked, unsure himself if it was an answer or just a denial of the situation.

“Deny me again and Pepper Potts dies. Do it a second time and your little friends are next.”

“You won’t- you can’t- we’ll stop you! And Mr. stark-“

“Is retired. By the time help arrives, it will be too late.”

“Don’t touch her, don’t you dare,” Peter begged, not knowing why he did so (it had never done anything to help him before), but unable to stop himself.“she doesn’t deserve any of this, please—“

“I’ll make you a deal, SX-24. Come willingly to the Oscorp building across the water, and if you do, we’ll… leave her alone.”

“You can’t touch Ned and MJ either,” Peter gripped the phone with sweat slick palms, making a deal with the devil but a deal all the same. He’d cling to anything, with Pepper’s life on the line.

“Fine.” The man sounded bored now, like whether Peter’s family lived was of no consequence to their plans. “But you will come in, and you will obey.”

“Yes,” Peter’s voice hovering on the knife’s edge between relief and despondency.

“Tell no one. And because I am generous, I’ll give you twelve hours to say goodbye.”

Peter said nothing, using all of his energy to avoid blacking out in terror.

“You forget your manners. What do you say?”

“Thank you,” he whispered, and signed the first piece of himself away. The piece of him that maybe had never gotten away in the first place.

***

He didn’t say goodbye to Ned and MJ. They, his first and closest friends, knew that he loved them. And if either of them looked at him right now, they’d know what was happening. All that was keeping him upright was the knowledge that at least they wouldn’t be walking into a cage— he couldn’t stand sending either of them back.

He didn’t face himself in the mirror either.

***

He made his last day with Tony like any other.

Wrist deep in the tangled wires of Mr. Stark’s Iron Man armor, which they were anchoring JARVIS to.

terpperaekr skesj atrasi” Jarvis’s British voice was muddled and incomprehensible. Peter frowned. He was sad he wouldn’t be able to finish it. He hoped Jarvis would get better- he didn’t want Mr. Stark to get lonely in the lab when Peter was gone.

He checked out for a while, thinking of days spent in Central Park, and laughter, and a million things he’d never thought he’d have, all while staring at Mr. Stark’s clever fingers recoding JARVIS, humming as he worked.

There was one moment with Tony that he didn’t have a memory of. He didn’t remember a lot of things, but it hurt to not remember whether or not Tony’d already said I love you. Had Peter ever told him, in words?

It was enough to risk tipping him off, enough to risk it all falling apart in Peter’s hands.

“I love you.” He said, out loud, for what felt like the very first time, even though the words were in every smile he gave Tony.

“I love you too, kid.” A rare expression of surprise flickered across Tony’s face, but it was real and sincere and his lips were quirking up into a grin. Peter let himself bask in it, for just a moment more. “You okay?”

Yes, Peter lied, turning around so Mr.Stark couldn’t see his face. “Just got some dust in my eye.”

Mr Stark hummed a tune and it sounded like waves.

***

He kept hearing the ocean, the ocean he’s never lived but the somehow still remembers, feeling the cold hand around his throat that he lived but didn’t remember.

***

“You wanna eat dinner together?” Pepper smiled at him, a little impish and crooked, like they were sharing some secret and it felt precious.

Peter just nodded and slid his chair closer to her. It was with that smile alone that he knew this was all worth it, and sitting and making pasta with her and laughing and asking her about her childhood made it doubly so.

It made it worth it, but it still wasn’t enough.

And worse, as he listened to Pepper, his mind started dreaming up false memories. Like warmth and red hair softly backlit. Being small and fragile but not being afraid because there was a woman with the warmth of a thousand summers standing between him and the world. A woman who held his hand and walked with him into the water. He felt disgusting- that was somebody else’s mother, not his.

He watched as Pepper mentioned James, wiping a tear from her cheek, and he felt an irrational flare of rage sweep through him. How dare he disappear, leave her all alone. How dare he make Pepper cry. But no- it was Peter that was the problem here. Peter that was the cuckoo in the nest.

“I’m sorry, that I’m- I— I’m sorry about your son.” He stuttered out. “I’m sorry that. That I made it out and he didn’t.”

Peter clenched his hands in his lap and refused to look at her, unwilling to see her reaction, but was surprised as she enveloped him in a squeezing hug. When she finally broke it, she held his face in her hands, and smiled at him .

“No, Peter. Never apologize for being here. It’s alright. I love you and I love Jamie, and that’s okay.”

She gave him a kiss on the forehead, wished him goodnight, and Peter let himself long, one last time, for another sunrise with her.

He was glad HYDRA let him come back.

***

There were hands around his neck there was water in his ears

Spider-Man would do it, would give himself up to save people.

But more importantly, Peter would.

He left as Spider-Man anyway, both because it gave him more courage and he wanted to swing through New York one last time.

He tooktwo things in a moment of weakness- Mr.Stark’s MIT hoody, because maybe, if hydra let him keep it, it would make the cell a little warmer. In the pocket of the hoody was his stuffed rabbit. He drew comfort from the fact that the rabbit’s name was so close to Ms. peppers.

He hoped hydra would let him keep them.

He hoped they’ll just put a bullet in his head.

He hoped it was quick, he hoped it never happened at all.

New York, he tells the neighbourhoods and the sky scrapers and the parks and the people, it was an honor to defend you.

Notes:

hi guys bet you didn’t think you’d see me back so quick. >:)

Okay so next chapter should be out tomorrow or the next day, and then the chapter after that is the reveal! We’re coming up on the end.

Chapter 31: burn them all

Notes:

im back at you with another short & messy one.

a lil bit of levity in this one since in the next im going to be hitting you with the whump stick

CW: Staten Island slander (im sure it’s a fine place I just make fun of it in this chapter)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

"No, no, you don’t get it! The government can bring people back to life, SHEILD brought JFK back! Well, until he was killed again in 2007 at the National Hotdog Eating contest, but look you can really see the scar on his head in the back of this photo-“ Flash was trying to shove his conspiracy materials in Betty’s face while they were taking a short break from the war planning/study sesh/terrorism/teen hang out they were doing. She bit down on a baby carrot savagely, but Flash just kept going, only interrupted by Abe and Liz coming back into the room.

“I think we found where the main base could be!” Abe bounded up to MJ excitedly, and it was a testament to how much closer they got as a team these last few weeks that he didn’t falter under her intense gaze.

MJ simply tilted her head back and waved her hand in their direction. Her way of saying ‘go on’

“So, I know the city pretty well.” Liz started, sitting with her legs crossed at the ankles on a table next to the map. “My dad used to do cleanup after like, 2012, and there was a big area over here,” she tapped the map with one perfectly manicured nail, “that got obliterated . He was pissed though, because for some reason it was the only set of blocks that the government brought in some big private firm. Apparently someone in body armor roughed up one of his guys?”

Betty opened up her private messages and sent Cindy a message.

yo do we think liz’s dad does crime

100% have you seen her house? No city employee makes that much ” was the reply, and Betty couldn’t help but agree.

Ned was staring at the map and frowning, chewing at his lip a little. “MJ… I have a funny feeling about this.”

An eyebrow raise from MJ. That was her way of saying… well it could mean a lot of things. Betty hadn’t quite figured that one out yet.

“It’s a gut feeling, I know,” he said, and then turned oddly intense. Swoon. Cindy would be hearing a lot about this later. “Can you call Peter?”

MJ rolled her eyes but dialed. A ring, and then the call was denied. She tried again. She too started to frown, and Betty felt the room around them drop a few degrees in temperature.

“Ned, pull up the tracker.” MJ ordered, and Ned was typing furiously at his laptop before Betty could even blink.

“You guys put a tracker on him? What? How?” Cindy interrupted, incredulous.

“There’s one in all of his shoes.” MJ said, still staring at the screen of her phone. “And it was Ned’s idea.”

“What! He gets into trouble all the time! I’m just trying to look out for him, I’m his guy in the chair!" Ned gestured wildly. The computer beeped, and a map displayed on the screen, a red pulsating dot hovering around…

“That’s odd,” Liz said. “It looks like he’s in… the neighborhood we were just talking about.”

MJ started to freeze up. Ned got that intense look again. “Alright, looks like I’m hacking into Peter’s phone.” He cracked his knuckles and got to work. It took a while, but nowhere near as long as it should have. They’d all stopped questioning Ned on his computer prowess. If he said he could, he could.

Whatever Ned saw made him look as horrified as MJ.

“They threatened him. They threatened him. Oh my god, there’s a photo of Pep here with her eyes crossed out,” Ned said, his fingers threading through his hair to clutch at his head in horror. Ned, MJ, and Peter still hadn’t told them about anyone else close to them, but by Ned’s horrified reaction, she guessed whoever this "Pep" person was, they were important. “God, I think he’s going to turn himself in.”

“Ned, what’s happening?” Cindy asked, taking a deep breath.

“HYDRA threatened someone close to us,” Ned began. “This is so bad, oh man, oh man-“

“And of course, he does what he always tries to do, sacrifice himself,” MJ’s fear was manifesting as anger right now, her voice building in volume as she jerkily paced. “And he’s gonna be all alone in there.”

MJ made a strange sound in the back of her throat at that thought- almost a whimper - one Betty had never heard from her and never wanted to hear again.

The other members of the decathalon team also looked taken aback, and quickly the civilian portion of the team made eye contact and rapidly made the same conclusion.

“MJ, Ned. Go get him.” Abe said, unusually solemn. “Bring him back.”

“Peter is an important part of our Nationals strategy.” Liz said, feigning the same level of detachment she would if Peter was fine, because he was going to be fine, because they were going to save him. “I’m not letting him miss anymore practice. “

“You guys can do it. You’re smart and talented and bea -“ When Liz gently elbowed her in the side to remind her to say her inspiring words of encouragement, Betty ended up rambling, saved by Cindy stepping on her foot and taking over.

“And we’ll help how we can.” Putting on a face that was a lot braver than she felt, Cindy pulled a duct-taped parcel out of her bag. “Here, I made a bomb.”

MJ took it with the proper reverence and appreciation such a gift deserved as Cindy continued to explain. “It’s a high impact concentrated explosion. I made it with Peter’s Christmas gift stuff, and you can use it to blow open a door, or-or some other spy shit. Just don’t tell my mom, I don’t wanna lose social media again.”

“There are also a series of tunnels Robert Moses built near there that you can go pretty undetected through.” Flash said, “What, there are some really cool conspiracies about them! I can lead you down them.”

“Um, Flash buddy, it’s a little above your head-“ Ned started, only to be cut off by a- holy shit, was Flash crying?

“I know that! But, but he’s my friend! And I wanna help him. And I know it’s dangerous but he’d do the same for any of us because he’s Peter Parker! He made me realize I didn’t have to be perfect all the time and I’m trying to be more kind because-“ Flash started tearing up more, sniffling into his expensive shirt. MJ somehow looked more horrified than when she learned she would have to face HYDRA again and gave him an awkward pat on the shoulder.

“Listen Flash. I can’t tell you how much that means, but we need someone to stay back here and protect the others. And you’re the only one who can, alright!” Abe opened his mouth to disagree, and Ned shot him a warning look. Flash sniffled some more, and then pulled himself into a haughty pose again.

“Good call Ned. I’ll uh, wait here. Keep an eye out.” he said, attempting a extremely straight posture but also accepting a fist bump from Ned. “And kick their butts, because… I’m the only one allowed to bully Peter!”

MJ just rolled her eyes and slugged him in the shoulder at that because she, like Flash, didn’t know how to show affection.

“Thank you guys,” Ned said. “Hopefully… we’ll be back soon.”

And they turned to leave, and Betty saw Ned crossing towards the door and knew she had to act now because she may not get another chance.

"Ned!” Betty said. If Ned could be brave so could she. He turned, and before she could talk herself out of it, she leaned down a little and pecked him gently on the mouth. “Um, for luck.”

She’d like to say it was the best moment of her life but it was so quick and her heart was pumping so fast that she could barely remember what it felt like, only seconds later. Ned just opened and closed his mouth like a fish, a blush high on his cheeks, as MJ dragged him out by the sleeve.

Well, she had a new Ned expression to add to her favorites.


***

As soon as he heard Peter’s steps disappear down the hallway, Tony pulled up the file. An hour ago, he’d gotten an alert from FRIDAY that she had something, but he silenced it because he’d never been able to push Peter out.

"Boss, I believe I know where the group you were searching for is."

“Give me everything you got, Fri.” He said, quickly assembling the suit into some sort of working order.

“A lab, located in Staten Island-“

“Gross, double evil.” Tony paused for a moment to wrinkle his nose at the taste of terrorist organizations.

“I’ve tracked some suspicious purchases and internet chatter all to this location.”

“You’re the best, FRI. Send the coordinates for the suit.”

“But boss, the suit-“

“Still has Jarvis in it? Yeah, and he’s outta commission, but I gotta go. Pepper’s making that pasta I like and I wanna get back before spider-baby’s enhanced stomach eats it all.” Ugh, this suit was barely holding together. He needed to breath through his mouth and try not to remember that the last time he was wearing it, Steve Rogers had left him to die in the snow.

“May I remind you-“

“That I’m retired? Yeah, well, it’s for a good cause.” Fuck, Pep was going to kill him. He took another deep breath and put the helmet on, telling himself. The copper smell is from exposed wiring, not blood, the copper smell is from exposed wiring...He was fine, he was okay.

“Alright, let’s go take these assholes out and get some information.”

Not blood


***

Pepper hadn’t told her husband she’d been working with Barnes. It was the largest secret she had ever kept from him, besides the few nights where he was gone in Afghanistan, and James was gone too, and she’d wanted to die and only by sheer spite did she keep breathing. This time though, the secret was to keep him safe. So no, she wasn’t telling him that she was working with the man who killed his parents, child, and almost himself.

She hated it more than he would, she thought. Lord knew her skin itched with self hatred on a daily basis. But she needed to do this. For Jamie. For Peter.

“I thought you should know. The main lab for the sect that’s operating outta New York, it seems like the head’s gonna be there tonight.” Barnes got into the meat of the matter immediately, not wasting time with pleasantries. He understood her hatred. Sometimes she wasn’t sure why he helped her.

Pepper said nothing and waited for him to continue. It worked remarkably well with most people. Barnes was no exception.

“If you wanted to take him out, now would be… an okay time to do it. They don’t have nearly as much security there as they do at some of the more militarized locations, but uh, yeah, the guy who... ran uh, some of my ops, will be there,” They’d gotten very good at this ballet, her and Barnes, dancing around the “I killed your son” of it all.

“So where is it.” Pepper said, cutting the thought up before it could slither up her throat and cut off her air supply.

“Uh, lab in Staten Island.”

“In Staten Island? Why?” She asked, utterly affronted.

“I dunno, because no one wants to go there so it’s a good place for an evil base?” Barnes offered, and she let a little laugh escape her, without her permission.

“Do you have any other details about it?” Pepper got back on track, wondering how on earth she was going to get into a secure HYDRA building without involving anyone else.

“Ah, yeah it’s leased under this company called… Oscorp?”

Pepper thought of the multiple slightly-desperate emails in her junk folder from different Oscorp executives and thought gotcha .

“Thanks,” Pepper said shortly, more out of reflexive habit than anything else, her mind almost entirely on the mission.

“Oh, um, yeah.” Barnes stumbled, before pausing. “And- good luck. I hope you— I hope you succeed.”

Pepper made some sort of noise of ascent before hanging up, dropping the phone and gasping for breath for a few moments. Fuck, how had she even gotten here?

Right. To get the man responsible for kidnapping her son, and to protect Peter and the others. Focus,Potts.

A sharp dress, sleek ponytail, louboutins she could run in or possibly stab someone with. She was dressed very conspicuously for a stealth infiltration- but she wasn’t planning on stealth. She and Tony both shared a certain… level of showmanship. The name Pepper Potts opened up far more doors than she could try to pick open with a hair pin or whatever the hell it was SHIELD agents did besides being a pain in her ass.

Pepper packed the Beretta Natasha had gotten her within her purse. It was a “joke” gift, but Pepper had to admire the woman’s practicality. That, and the fuzzy socks Romanoff had added with it. She was planning to mostly use the powers given to her by extremis to fight— she had enough anger simmering within her to fuel a conflagration the size of the state— but it never hurt to have a back up plan.

Was Pepper really ready to do this? Kill someone, not just in self defence, but search them out to claim a life?

She thought of a cliff by the sea where the body of a little boy rested, and thought, yes. She was.

The extremis was pumping through her veins, hot and angry and desperate and Pepper knew-

She’d burn them all.

Notes:

they r so bad at communication it's extremely silly. family outing at the hydra lab

***

ngmmhhg I just slammed my finger in a door so I’m gonna keep this one short.

I really hope you guys like it!

Next chapter is the reveal, and it’ll be up in a few days!
I’m a little worried I’ll disappoint you all in some way, bc I know it’s been building for a whilleeee, but I’m really giving it my all & hoping for the best!

Let me know your thoughts :)

And hoLY BALLS MY FONGER HURTS

Chapter 32: dad

Notes:

this is part one of the reveal, as the chapter was getting far too long. P 2 is almost finished will be posted tomorrow.
i've been building to this for literally over a year and it's insane.
this took goddamn forever so pleaseee leave a comment telling me what you thought <3

it still is not edited tho lol.

okay content warnings! because this chapter has a lot of warnable content!

CW (spoilers):
description of violence against children, description of past grievous injury, HYDRA and all of their bullshit

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Peter was forced to kneel in the basement of the OSCORP building, shivering in the cold even with his suit and Tony’s hoodie. In front of him, a man wreathed in shadow and a white coat, bustled around with lab equipment and the sound was familiar enough to make him wince.

His knees hurt, he couldn’t stop staring at the scalpels, and he could sense several HYDRA men in the back of the room. This really couldn’t get much worse.

He really needed to stop thinking stuff like that, because of course, with his luck, it did. There was a clatter behind him (the exact sound an air vent cover makes when it hits a concrete lab floor), and the hair on the back of Peter’s neck rose, but not for himself. Because he heard the sound of the hand Peter had made scraping against metal, the oomf of MJ landing on her knees and rolling herself to her feet. He dared not turn around, hoping and praying he was wrong.

“Oh, well what do we have here?” The man in the white coat said, still lingering in the shadows.

“Let him go,” MJ’s voice said, and it was the first time Peter had ever hated hearing it.

“No,” he couldn’t help but gasp out. “No, no, MJ go back- go home, you guys can’t be here.” He turned around then, for one last look at them. There they were, his best friends, determined despite the tremor of terror he could see in their frames.

“We’re not leaving you behind, Peter.” Ned said, and his soot-stained cheeks lifted in a little smile for Peter.

Peter is right.” the man said, turning his name into a mocking insult. “You didn’t need to get involved. I promised SX-24 that we wouldn’t take you in if he came nicely back to us.” Peter was realizing that the voice wasn’t disguised before- no, it was like there was something that made it hard for the man to speak, that altered his words. “Now, were you naughty? Did you tell–”

“No!” Peter screamed. MJ and Ned couldn’t stay here, they had to be free.

“He didn’t, we found it on our own. And- and,” cried Ned.

“Enough of that.” The man waved a dismissive hand, and Ned clamped his mouth shut tightly. “How on earth did you brats even get in here?”

“Bomb.” MJ said, like she was giving a report.

“Huh, interesting. Well, I’ll never say no to more test subjects. Grab them,“ The HYDRA soldiers Peter had seen at the back stepped forward to grab MJ and Ned by the arm, two on each of them.

“What? No, no no you promised, you said- you said–” Peter was aware that he was begging, shaking with fear on his knees, that this wasn’t what a hero would do, but he didn’t care, didn’t care as long as it saved them.

“I can hardly say no if they show up on my doorstep.”

Peter fell over himself, his arms still locked behind him, rising from his knees to stand between the man and his friends.

He heard a protest from MJ behind him, but he didn’t get much farther, as in a much darker tone, the man in the white coat said-

“Move, SX-24, and I will kill them.”

Peter didn’t need enhanced hearing to notice the sound of guns being cocked and raised, or MJ’s little shaky gasp. He stopped moving.

“I can’t say I’m upset over this either, because I wanted to… see… you,Michelle Jones ,” The man’s attention now seemed to be on MJ, and Peter shuddered again.

“What,” she said, attempting bravado.

“I’m surprised you don’t recognize me. Then again, I suppose I look quite different.” The man laughed, an ugly sound, and then he finally stepped into the light.

There, face scarred and mangled by MJ’s bullet, his eye missing and his mouth pulled into a permanent gash by missing flesh, was the doctor. His face was skeletal like he really had been dead and buried and decomposing, wasting away this whole time. The doctor that branded MJ. The doctor that took Ned’s hand. The doctor that —--

“No, you’re dead! I shot you- I shot you twice, in the head!” MJ sounded like she was was going to throw up and Peter wished more than anything to hug her, to step in front of her so she couldn’t see the doctor, but if he moved she would die.

“There were pieces of your fucking scalp on the wall! You can’t come back from that,” the swear word from Ned somehow made everything more real.

“Yes you did quite a thorough job. Well, not thorough enough. A shame, I thought we trained you better, X-25.” The doctor said with a fake dismissiveness.

“I didn’t kill anyone then-” MJ’s voice quavered with a little tinge of hope, of relief, and Peter winced at her guilt.

“Oh no, you’re still a murderer.”

“Shut up!” Ned shouted in outrage as MJ started to cry.

“You still killed my lab assistant,” the doctor continued, as if Ned had never spoken. “Which thanks for that, it’s hard to find good lab assistants with appropriately flexible morals these days."

“You were dead. You were finally gone.” Peter whispered.

“And I have you to thank for not being so.” That hideous mouth leered down at Peter. “I had been injecting myself with a serum made from your blood for some time. That, and Hydra’s science, brought me back. It didn’t bring me all back though,” He gestured at his left side. “Oh no, as we speak this body is falling apart, which is one of the reasons I need you,” He grabbed Peter by the chin, and stared at him, but let him go and continued to walk. “One of hydra’s greatest scientists, brought down by mere children-”

“You’re not a scientist, you’re a butcher,” Ned’s voice had the kind of evenness that was only gained through white-hot anger.

“You will let us go, and-” Peter heard the tell tale hum of MJ attempting to use her power of persuasion, but the doctor made a swift hand motion and her words were suddenly cut off, turned into panicked murmurs behind fabric, like one of the guards had put a hand over her mouth.

“Ah, yes, that isn’t going to work this time. I had a lot of time to think, while I was recovering from the agony of a bullet tearing through my face, the agony of rebuilding skin and flesh, and I had a lot of time to rethink some of my past choices.” The doctor had never been like this before– he’d been predictable in how clinical he was but now, now he was mad, crazy, even more dangerous.

“I always knew your power was more than just an enhanced mind. Your friend has a little silver hand, but you’ve got a little silver tongue, don’t you? Try it again, and I’ll cut it out. You know how painful that wound was? I went half-mad with it. I’m going to make you all feel it tenfold.”

He was giggling and murderous at once, and it was terrifying. The doctor shifted his attention- likely to Ned. “I never would have spared him. Weak, sensitive, I found a way to contain his magic and he was nothing more than damaged goods. I wouldn’t have kept him, and that’s when I realized that a little bitch had been too persuasive for her own good.”

“Please, please let them go.” Peter begged, sniffling, stumbling to his knees again. “I’ll- I’ll do whatever you want, I-”

“No, and I grow tired of your whining.” The doctor walked closer, close enough to wear Peter could smell the harsh smell of formaldehyde emanating from the man. He was back to feigning indifference, folding his arms behind his back, looking for all the world like he was going for a stroll. “I think it’s time for something different.”

Red Sky.” Peter watched the words transform the man’s face as the gash of a mouth formed the letters, and he started to feel dizzy.

“Twenty-four. Jaundice.”

Everything was starting to feel muffled, like he was underwater, like the only thing he could sense was the weight of those words sitting on his chest and dragging him down to the depths. That, and MJ’s scream, muffled by a leather glove, and Ned’s anguished cry of “NO!”

“Iron…” His handler smirked at this word, like it was a private joke. “Mark”

“Bound. Six. Ocean.” Then the doctor crossed until he was standing over SX-24’s body, whispering the last words into his ear, just between them.

“Stark.” SX-24 insides felt like the doctor’s eyesocket- hollowed out, pockmarked, empty. “Undercurrent.”

“kstra Jmeas terpesirakerp” Jarvis said, and Tony swore.

“Jarvis,” he hissed through his teeth after checking around the corridor. “Really not the time, buddy. I’ll fix you when I get back to the tower, but a HYDRA lab really isn’t the place for this.”

Of course the day Tony actually needed his last shitty suit, is the day he integrated a faulty Jarvis into it. He’d done more with less, however, and he was Tony- motherfucking- Stark.

He stepped into the last large room, distracted for a moment by the eerie resemblance to the lab in Siberia. He shook it off, and was greeted by an even more unpleasant tableau. Two of the kids were held by four HYDRA goons— Ned’s wrists were jerked behind him, and MJ’s mouth was gagged by some meathead’s hand. Fuck. What was worse, was MJ was sobbing, and Ned was angrier than Tony had ever seen him, had ever thought he could be. Peter was kneeling in the center of the room, utterly still, and Tony could only see the back of his head and the MIT hoodie. There was some creep in a white coat leaning over him, far too close, whispering in Peter’s ear.

Fuck, absolutely fuck, where were the Avengers when you needed them.

The man stood up- away from Peter, thank christ– and turned towards Tony at his approach. And ughh, he’d had to deal with a lot of horrible people, but he thought this one would come last in the beauty contest.

“My goodness, Tony Stark!” The man said, clapping his hands together, the sound reverberating throughout the lab.

“Yeah, don’t care, save the villain monologue and give me the kids,” Ned and MJ turned their heads as best as they could towards him at the sound of his voice. He was a little touched to see that MJ sagged in relief a little at the sign of him and Ned gave a little nod, and god, he wanted to be worthy of that trust.

“The kids?” The doctor said, narrowing his eyes like he was trying to read Tony’s body language through the suit, like he was fishing for something, trying to see if Tony knew something. Tony really didn’t like it. “I would take this a little more seriously, Stark Sr.”

“Stark Sr. was my father,” Tony said casually, hiding the immediate bristle. Normally it would be at being compared to Howard, but this time it was for bringing up his father when HYDRA were the ones who had killed him. “You can call me, oh never again. Two-face did it better, you’re just a freak show, a footnote really.”

Siya ang doktor. Yung nanakit sa atin. ” Ned warned in Tagalog. Smart, probably the one language most likely for HYDRA not to know. Tony also caught only about a few of the words – ‘doctor’, and ‘hurt us’- but it was enough to draw the appropriate conclusions.

“Oh, I don’t know, I think I may have some interesting information for you.” The doctor continued, with a sick little grin.

“Yeah, I–” If this asshole knew what was good for him he would shut the fuck up, because right now the only thing keeping Tony from using whatever artillery was left in the suit was the Peter’s proximity.

“Do you want to know why I gave the order for your son to be taken?” The doctor’s voice was almost gentle, but it was so, so loud in the quiet room.

Tony froze, barely aware of his lungs beginning to hyperventilate. He disengaged the helmet, unable to breathe in the bloody armor.

“What,” he managed to choke out.

When he’d imagined the face of the person who took everything from him, he’d never pictured this man. Recently, the scowl of Bucky Barnes was on the back of his eyelids at night, but for years it’d been a faceless shadow, something huge and hulking and formless because he couldn’t even quantify that kind of evil. It had never been this- this slim, balding man in little wire rimmed glasses who would look completely ordinary if not for the wound on his face.

“Do you want to hear about how we experimented on him, and he kept crying out for mommy and daddy the whole time? He did it in his sleep too, when he passed out from the pain.”

Tony took stumbling steps forward, the reactor beam humming with a charge before he could even process it.

“I was the one who got to cut him open, you know. I was surprised to find that Stark men are not in fact made of iron. They’re made of flesh, and blood. And by the end, your son was little more than that.”

“Just– stop. Let Peter go, and we’ll-” He was barely able to speak past the bile in his throat, trying to focus on the fact that he needed to get the kid out of here and not on the fact that the one responsible for everything was right there.

“Peter, you’re here for Peter?” THe doctor started to cackle. His tone incredulous, gleeful. “Peter? You mean you don't know ? You’re here for him and you still don’t know? This is- priceless. Oh, I can’t breathe, this is too good. Genius Tony Stark, and he can’t even-”

“Shut the fuck up!” Tony yelled, his heart beating so loudly he couldn’t concentrate. “Shut up, what the hell are you talking about-”

The man ignored him, turning to Peter and putting one gloved hand on the boy’s shoulder, ignoring Tony’s outraged snarl. “Peter,” he said, mockingly, “well, no, that’s not your real name, is it? SX-24, I grow tired of this. Shut him up.”

Peter finally turned around, getting to his feet methodically, and this was one of the most fucked up days of Tony’s fucked up life, but that was when Tony knew something was really wrong. Peter was lifeless, as expressionless as he was when Barnes broke into the Tower. He walked robotically towards Tony, and Tony couldn’t look away from his kid, already checking his pale face for injuries. In the corner of his eye, he saw MJ squirming, trying to say something from behind the glove, Ned frozen in panic.

“Peter, buddy?” He said slowly, shifting his weight onto his back leg and lowering his voice like he was speaking to a cornered animal. “What’s going on? Talk to me, buddy-”

Peter just kept walking. Tony moved his hand to give Peter’s shoulder a comforting squeeze, and it was that fact alone that prevented Peter’s fist from smashing into his uncovered face.

--------------

He was underwater. He was standing on the beach. He was in the cell. He was in a bedroom with glow in the dark stars on the ceiling. He was outside of himself.

He was going to kill Mr. Stark. Oh god, he was going to kill Tony.

--------------

“kstJmera as rpteakerrpesi!” Jarvis’s gibberish felt so far away, but apparently his suit wasn’t totally fucked because the faceplate slid down and the back thrusters slid back on their own.

For a few moments, Tony was dodging and weaving out of the way, not hit once by Peter, and it seemed like he’d be able to get them out of this. But Peter was fighting, and Tony couldn't.

“C’mon Peter, snap out of it kid,” He faltered, just a moment, to plead, to look Peter in the eyes, “I know you can fight it, buddy.”

Peter’s hand around his neck seemed like an inevitability.

--------------

The man with the metal arm— the one who took him was choking him but— he fell to the ground, and the men in white coats crowded around him, and his vision still hadn’t come back but he could hear them murmuring—

“SX-24?” A rush of defiance, of pain, of fear, of longing.

“No! My name is Jamie Stark! My dad’s gonna come, you’ll see!” The boy rasped, but Peter’s lips were moving and he was the one that said that, it was his lungs struggling for breath and he was the boy–

“Ugh, this little incident has set us back–”

“We’re going to have to wipe him again–”

“Dad, daddy, daddy, please, dad,” He was screaming, until it was dark again.

--------------

“It’s okay kiddo, it’s okay.“ Tony looked up at Peter, smiling at him a little, wanting to see him before it was too late as he gasped for breath.

“It’s not your fault kid, this isn’t you.“ When the kids got out of this— and Tony refused to consider any other possibility— Peter would blame himself and Tony couldn’t bear it if Peter didn’t know he was the greatest kid on the goddamn planet. “Know you kid, this isn't you. Don’t blame yourself, ‘kay?

He could barely speak, and it looked like Tony Stark wasn’t going to talk his way out of this one, but Peter wasn’t increasing the pressure at all, and -

“See kid? I can see you fighting it, It’s– get MJ and Ned outta here, okay? Find Pep, she’ll keep you safe.” Tony grinned, and for once, it was a real smile. “Ugly won’t win. You don’t belong to him…”

“Stop it, Stark! Stop– I’ll kill every one of you, I’ll take everything from you Stark, again, I’ll do it again, you’re too stupid to see,” the doctor was howling in outrage, but Tony ignored him. “Why are you smiling?”

“Peter’s not yours, asshole.” Tony turned his head a little bit, and hoped there was blood on his teeth when he flashed a smile the doctor’s way.

“Enough of this,” the man hissed, and yeah, got under his skin, Tony’s still got that Stark charm, “Kill him, SX-24.”

It hurt, as Peter tightened his fingers around his neck, and all Tony could think about was whether this was what it was like for Jamie as he died.

Peter’s hand tightened around his neck, and seawater was roaring in his ears.

He was starting to black out, but he couldn’t bring himself to feel like fear that he should have. Tony was floating, and all he could think about was the cliff in Malibu, and James, Jamie, James, soon baby, I’ll see you soon, I’ll find you, and Peter, who pulled him out of the Siberian snow and the bottle and despair.

“Peter,” He croaked, using the last of air because Peter needed to know, “You’re a hero, don’t forget it. They can’t take… that away from you.

Something wet hit his face. Tony wasn’t sure if it was the blood dripping out of Peter’s nose or the tears from his brown eyes.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay, bambino.” He couldn’t breathe, fuck, he was starting to panic again and he still hadn’t said it–

“I love you, I love-”

There wasn’t any air left, and Tony was on the cliff again, about to fall into the sea below.

--------------

Daddy, daddy can we go to the beach and he’s held and he’s loved and-

He’s on the beach looking at the waves again, that same first memory, and there’s someone behind him like before and he turns around, and Tony is there because of course he is, he’s dad and he’ll always be there and-

Peter screamed, and the world broke.

His head was pounding, he’s fighting against every cell in his body for control, his whole body was on fire and all he could smell was iron and blood from his nose. But he’d rather burn, he’d rather die than do this.

Peter was in his mind and he could grab control again he could do something drastic, he could- he could be lost it but it was worth it to save Tony, Mr. Stark,

“Dad?” He said.

--------------

Tony blearily opened his eyes to see Peter white knuckling his own wrist, squeezing it so hard that he heard the snap of bone. Before Tony could do anything, Peter had wrenched his hand off of Tony’s neck, and there was another crack as Peter broke the other wrist. Tony thought the noise of anguish after that second break had been Peter’s but the boy’s mouth hadn’t moved at all, and Tony himself had made it.

Peter collapsed then, and all Tony could do was catch him and hold him close as Tony struggled to breathe, hacking and coughing. He thought Peter was trembling for a second, before he realized again that he was the one shaking and Peter was terribly still as Tony cradled him to his chest.

“Impossible.” The doctor was the first to speak, his eye wide and the gnarled skin pulled back in surprise. “That’s impossible, the memory wipe was complete, the conditioning was complete, there’s no way he could have–”

“You lied.” It hit him then. “They didn’t find any signs of- of experimentation” He spat the word out like a curse. “on his body. I went over every inch of the case-”

“Ah yes, well that wasn’t his body, so really, it didn’t show any of what we did to little Jamie. Barnes didn’t kill him, you know? Oh, he tried to, and got damn close, but he failed. Maybe he wanted to do what you couldn’t and save your brat from what was going to happen to him. He knew what the kid was going to go through and Barnes would have put him down, put out of his fucking misery. We turned that man’s brain into a fucking slushie, and he would have been more of a hero to your kid than you would have been. The body wasn’t even real, and you were too damn stupid, too blind to see it.”

“W-what?” The only thing keeping Tony from passing out or throwing up was the weight of Peter’s body in his lap.

“Are you not supposed to be a genius? Body was not real. We had him for years after that, Stark. And we made the most of them. You gave up on him, you drank and partied and did nothing, and Jamie spent every night crying out for you.”

“Stop, please, stop.” He didn’t care that he was begging, burying his face in Peter’s hair and wishing for it all to go away.

“I’m surprised he lasted as long as he did, the things we did to him– I don’t think that you would recognize your son’s body if it was right in front of you.”

And Tony was crying into Peter’s hair, a child he had failed almost as bad as he had failed James, and wished that he had never started breathing again.

Notes:

promised the reveal, but i just had to get something out & the chapter was way too long. But they are finding out tomorrow!

sometimes you love someone so much that you'd rather break your wrist than hurt them with your hands, and it jsut be like that
---
the doctor is such an insane dick, but technically he was telling the truth for most of it.

---
originally, iron man was going to be one of Peter's words, but then I realized that it kinda made no sense because Peter or James would not know who iron man was
also, the doctor was just going to die. um and then i realized i needed a villain and chekhov's gun means he has to get coulson'd. in my rewrite, i'm def going to go back to the beginning and make him more of a character.
---

once again, thank you so much for every single piece of feedback. i almost abandoned this story, and I'm really glad that i was motivated to finish it.

speaking of feedback, please please please let me know what you think! this is half of the climatic scene, and I'm very nervous about it being disappointing.

also thank u for all the well wishes abt my finger <3 i lost my acrylic but it was okay! and then the day after i fractured my toe lol.

Chapter 33: mom

Notes:

updated but i wanted to keep my promise of 'tomorrow' so here it is!

i'll see you in the comments

cw: same content warnings apply!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Pepper Potts was frozen, so frozen in grief and anguish that even the fire of her rage hadn’t been able to thaw it, and she’d only been able to listen as the murderer of her son taunted her husband over how much Jamie suffered.

God Jamie, god, baby I’m so sorry, I wanted you to have just fallen asleep, just closed your eyes, I’m sorry.

“You have perhaps half a working suit, while I have guns on the other brats. There’s no way out of this, Stark, and it’s over–”

She couldn’t cry. She could cry when she was dead, because she had four people in there that were depending on her and she would not let that man live for another sunset.

She had come here to kill the person responsible for scraping out her insides, and she would goddamn do it.

Pepper moved, and it was a testament to how much of a lunatic the man was, that it was only on the last click of her Louboutins that he noticed her entrance. He looked to her— good, got his eyes off of Tony and Peter— and gave her a sneer.

“Oh wow, the whole family is here,” He laughed, and she ignored the taunt, the fact that her son was not. “Shouldn’t have let your bitch come, Stark. Why, she’s oh, so vulnerable–”

“My name is Pepper Potts. Step away from my husband and our children.” Refusing to show a single emotion, she merely raised her beretta to point at his chest.

He looked at her incredulously, and couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “Oh, is this where you tell me that you won’t kill me if I let them go, or-”


“No. You’ll die today no matter what you do.” He’d been so truthful, why shouldn’t she?

The doctor straightened his coat to hide his momentary surprise. “Agents, get rid of-”

Pepper kept her beretta trained on the doctor, and only glanced back when she heard the first body hit the concrete. Her gamble had paid off. The HYDRA men had not even gotten the chance to raise their weapons– Ned’s magic had torn down one, and then the other, and then suddenly he and MJ were standing, cuffed and rumpled, but relatively free.

Suddenly MJ’s eyes widened- and Pepper saw him, a fifth agent in the shadows, and he was raising a pistol and–

MJ screamed, and he went flying with a thud, like he’d been thrown by some unseen force into the wall. His head hit it with a crack, and he did not move again. None of the men were moving, and if Pepper was in anything close to her right mind she would have been mentally scheduling therapy appointments for them both, but she was in front of her son’s killer, so she merely turned her full attention back forward.

“Oh, I am so pleased to have you two again,” He said, and instead of showing fear or any emotion that would be appropriate for suddenly being entirely outnumbered, he was gleeful with madness, mouth already contorting into that hideous attempt at a smile. “A telekinetic ability, I had wondered, and it looks like the magic returned, well maybe if I take the other h-”

“No.” Pepper said, stepping forward to better shield the kids from his feverish gaze. “I’m your enemy.” Another step forward. If she shot now, there was no way that she would not hit him at least once from this distance. She could easily see the white of his eye now, behind those stupid little glasses, shot through with burst red veins.

“Don’t you want to hear what really happened to your son? What little Jamie–” He wheedled, finally starting to show a sign of fear.

“You don’t get to say his name, you don’t fucking deserve to say it, shut up,” Shaking with seething anger, she fired a single shot, but it pinged off the far wall. One.

“Would your son want to see you to become a murderer?” And Pepper almost laughed, because she’d had all these conversations with herself, every night for the last seven years, and the answer as always—

“Jamie isn’t here, is he? He’s not here to see anything, And that’s your fucking fault!” Pepper was screaming now, but it didn’t matter did it? Her son was still dead. And she couldn’t see them, but the rest of her family was behind her. They would see her become a murderer. “You tortured three children. You tried to kill my husband. I won’t let you hurt any of us anymore.”

Desperately, she looked back at Tony, at her husband and the body of a child in his lap and she knew, like she always had, that she would burn the world down for them. She and Tony made brief eye contact, and Pepper felt wretched and saw her own wretchedness reflected back at her. “Tony, Tony, he’s responsible, responsible for all of it,” She explained, not able to stop herself from babbling.

“I know.” He whispered, his eyes open and wide and saying- do whatever you want just come back come home to me.

Ned had walked forward, was standing closer than even Peter, staring unrepentant at her. He was unusually solemn, unusually hard, and Pepper knew he was thinking of his parents, thinking of his family, his little brother, shot inside their own home at the orders of the man in the white coat. “Do it.”

“Did you kill my son?” She said, like an executioner asking for last words.

“Mayb-” He said, smirking, so sure her trembling hands won’t shoot, so sure she’ll let him finish but-

Pepper shot until long past the clip being empty, counting not by the pulls of her finger against the trigger, but of the clink of the shells against the concrete.

Two. Three. Four.

Red starts to spread through the lab coat.

Five.

Six. Seven.

The clip was empty and the body fell onto the ground. One shell for every year James had been gone. She wished every single bullet had hit him, but maybe that death would be too quick after all. She could still see that odious chest moving up and down.

There wasn’t a sound in the lab, except for the doctor gasping for air, and Pepper starting to breathe heavier and heavier, like she was the one who’d been shot in the lung.

Dropping the gun on the ground carelessly, she took a tottering step forwards- for once, not able to walk in her heels, and she kicked them off to continue.

“Mercy, mercy,” the man who killed James said, the blood filling his lungs making him gurgle the words. “I have information–”

“I will not spare you. I will not show you mercy you took my baby from me! ” Her throat was sore and she was so close, and she could do it now, the thing that she’d wanted, needed like blood in her veins, to do since they made that grave on the cliff in Malibu. “I won’t, I won’t,”

“Please,” he whimpered,

And she hadn’t made the decision until Peter croaked from Tony’s lap. “He never stopped, no matter how much I begged.”

The fire she’d somehow managed to keep from erupting from her body turned her palms white-hot, and she was looking at her hands as she held them close to his neck, close enough where she could smell his neck hair sizzling, close enough where she could squeeze and end him but—

She found herself thinking of a memory- of those days after Barnes had entered the tower, their home, where they were talking about Captain America and she told Tony she wanted to kill him with her own hands, and Tony took both of her hands and rubbed a thumb over her wrist and told her that–

He’s not good enough to be destroyed by you. He doesn’t deserve to have your hands touch him, even if it’s to hurt.

Pepper stepped back, and relished the tiny spark of hope in the doctor’s eye. “You know,” she mused. “You’re so much more pathetic than I ever thought you’d be.”

And with a dainty touch she set the lab coat on fire, and it was quick before the conflagration spread and the doctor started to scream.

She walked back towards her family. MJ hid her face in Ned’s shoulder, who watched solemnly with his arms crossed, the flames reflected in his dark eyes. Tony was crying, and Peter– Peter was staring at nothing, lost in some memory.

Tony offered her his hand, and without even thinking she took it. When she remembered that it must be burning, that she had just killed someone with this hand, and tried to slip away, Tony only held on tighter, their clasped hands like an oath fulfilled and a new vow made.

When the body stopped screaming she looked one last time. He was gone.

The next thing she was aware of, was MJ and Ned suddenly crashing into her, and it was half reflex when she curled her arms around them in the tightest hug she could manage.

“Are you kids okay?” Pepper said, for once not scanning them for injuries because she didn’t know if she could handle anything more.

“Ehh, could be worse,” Ned said weakly, “but, I kinda really want to get out of here as quickly as possible.

“We can talk once we leave.” MJ’s voice was still raspy from screaming. “He- left the computer open.”

“Oh! Um, I’m going to download the files from the computer, haha, we meant to do it last time…” Ned scurried off to a panel, where MJ had already walked robotically to start the process.

“Tony- ton-” Peter panted, and Pepper felt her first real emotion in minutes– a terrifying pulse of fear at how weak his voice sounded. She stumbled, wobbly in her bare feet, and kneeled down next to him and Tony. “there’s somethin- have to tell-”

“Shhhh, kiddo, later, just focus on breathing ok?” Tony said, his eyes rapidly scanning Peter’s face as he tried to use some of the excess fabric from the old MIT hoodie– and where had Peter found that– to wipe off some of the blood from under Peter’s nose.

“Pep, I’m gonna go make sure the hallway’s clear, maybe see if there’s enough reception to call Happy?” He said, and then quieter, “Are you going to be okay here for a minute?”

“Yes.” Pepper carefully shifted Peter so that he was laying in her lap, cradling him in her long freckled arms. “Be careful, Tony.”

“Always am.” he croaked with a twitch of his lips, attempting at humor to calm his shaking hands.

She couldn’t help but worry as Tony’s half-broken suit rounded the corner, but she distracted herself by running her hands through Peter’s hair. It was peaceful like that, before Peter moved and pawed at the front pocket with—wait were his wrists broken—but before she could stop him he’d taken some lump of fabric out.

“Peter- your wrists-” her alarmed words were cut off only when she saw what he was holding tightly to his chest. Pepper was only able to see one floppy ear and—

“Peter, what is that?” She wasn’t sure why she needed to know, he was barely conscious, and she needed to know right now, and—

“My rabbit,” He held it up with a weak smile, and she could see it. It was scruffier and missing an eye but that was the stuffed animal she’d been looking for for seven years, that was Jamie’s rabbit - how did Peter- “Her name’s Pep, actually, had her as long as I can remember.”

“Can I hold her?” Pepper could barely speak, her hands were trembling, a thousand incomprehensible things pounding in her skull.

Peter nodded shyly, limp and barely able to hold his eyes open but a touch of a smile still on his lips. “She protects me. She’s the bravest bunny around.”

And Pepper found her mouth moving along with his in that last sentence, all the nights she had told Jamie the same thing, when she tucked him into bed with that little rabbit to protect him. And she saw the things she hadn’t let herself see before, the bow of his lips, the cowlick he’d had as a baby still evident, and those eyes she should have recognized the first second she beheld him again, and she knew.

Pepper looked at Peter, and like a flash of lighting, like a miracle, she just knew.

She thought she might have screamed, or cried, or laughed, or shouted, or whimpered, and there were so many things Pepper wanted to say that she was saying nothing at all.

She was torn between holding him in her arms so she could look at him- her son, her beautiful son, and clutching him as tight to her chest as she could to hear his heartbeat.
Even her mind couldn't keep up, and all she knew was she loved him as Peter, she loved him as James and he was alive and here. She found him, she found the rabbit she found Jamie she found him.

My baby, my baby, you’ve come back to me. She’s saying. Baby

Pepper had promised herself she wouldn’t cry, couldn’t cry until the very end, but this might as well be heaven because he was here.

“Mom?”

And then she was sobbing, because she was holding her son, the one she thought she lost and fell in love with all over again.

***

“Alright Jarvis,” Tony’s voice, still lowered 40 feet down the empty corridor, was sharp with his agitation. “I could really use your help here.”

“Jmeas kstra si tpert rckepar”

“No, no no, come on. I’m just going to turn you off,” Tony groaned, looking for the switch.

“Jaesm tarks peter kparecr” Jarvis was somehow insistent despite the gibberish, and uh oh- the AI was refusing to turn off despite Tony running the deactivation sequence- but Tony’s attention was caught by something else.

“Wait- what did you say about Peter?”

“P– P–eter Parker is James S- S-tark.” Jarvis’s voice was still garbled and stuttery, but the sentence was ringing clear and loud as a bell in Tony’s head. “Sir, Peter Parker is James Stark.”

What?

It was like the world had fallen apart, for yet another time in Tony’s life.

He was already running when he heard Pepper shout- “Tony!”

He burst into the lab, somewhere in between sprinting and falling, and there was Pepper still, in whatever new reality they’d found themselves in. She was cradling Peter in her arms, pulling him in with one hand on the back of his head, clutching him close.

“Pep?” He said hoarsely, half testing if this was nothing more than a dream.

“James. He’s James.” She was crying, he realized dimly. “Tony you have to believe me.”

And he did. He believed it from the second he heard Jarvis’s voice tell him. He believed it in his wife's tear stained face. He believed it when, in front of him, MJ was gaping at the big screen where she had pulled up a hydra document that confirmed James Stark was SX-24. But it was only when Peter- James– his son , turned and looked at him and said “Did you used to sing a song about the ocean to me?”, that Tony went to him, that his body caught up with his brain and the suit melted off of him and he stumbled forward to hold his son.

Pepper was murmuring something but Tony was too shell-shocked to do anything more than hold his son close and listen to his heart beating.

Notes:

god they know now. holy shit guys it's literally been a year irl & they finally know.
----
I really wanted Jarvis, this thing that Tony and Peter worked on together, to be the one to tell him. I didn't want HYDRA to spoil that moment of joy any more-- I wanted the Starks to fully own that moment of coming together.

---
new spouse goal is someone who holds ur still-burning hand after you killed your worst enemy.
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i'm like too wired from finishing this to write a hideously long endnote so i'll be back later tomorrow.

please please please let me know what you think! I honestly can't believe we got here woooo!

of course, they're going to have to tlak about this, so the 'reveal' will technically last longer, but they know now!

***

mj and ned are just Witnessing this like "what the fuck" honestly that would literally b so awkward.

Chapter 34: through the desert again

Notes:

okay so i don't love this chapter. and by don't love i mean am very annoyed w.

but! I want to get this out before the end of september so I'm releasing this part now (and the words have started to swim on the page so there's no way i'm gonna be able to write more tonight), at like 1 am so that I'm too tired to second guess myself. as always, will be edited later

content warnings: more of me being mean to staten island for no reason. i don't know why. starting to think i should tag this with staten island bashing.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Tony was holding his son. Tony, for once, wasn’t really saying anything. At least, not out loud. He hadn’t even begun to dig through his memories, or calculate all the ways he should have known it, or analyze the situation at all. All he could think were four sentences over and over again: James is alive. James is Peter. Peter is James. My son is alive and right here.

“I’m- I’m confused,” His son said, voice small and weak. His eyes seemed to be focusing in and out, one moment fixated on Tony, the next fuzzing out into oblivion.

“It’s okay kiddo, It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.” He said, rubbing his thumb along Peter’s cheek.

“I had to tell you something before. Had to tell you– I think- I remember you. I remember the beach. I- You’re my dad.”

“Yeah. You’re our kid. Always were, even when we didn’t know.” Tony laughed, a breathless thing.

“Promise?” His eyes were so, so big and brown and open, like they were when he was just a baby and Tony felt like he was going to cry all over again.

“I promise.”

And Jamie gave a soft smile, even as his eyes fluttered back into sleep. Pepper squeezed his hand, and made terrified eye contact. Right. They couldn’t stayhere. He shifted their son more into her lap, and stood up. He was trembling a little. Yep, definitely in shock. Honestly, they need to get Peter back to the tower for medical, but Tony was probably going to need a cardiogram or two. His heart was not made for this.

Tony felt the exact same singularity of purpose he did in Afghanistan walking out of the terrorist cell. Keep moving forward, through the desert. Honestly, the last seven years have been a lot of moving through the desert. Just a little while longer. Just a little while longer. Then it was Get back to Pepper. Fix things . Now it was Get him home. Fix things.

Ned and MJ nervously approached, her eyes rapidly moving back and forth through the scene, and was looking at Tony like he was a cornered animal.

“I- um. I need to call Happy.” He finally managed after opening and closing his mouth a few times, like he needed to relearn how to speak in the new world they’ve found themselves in. MJ was looking at him with fear, and it almost made him lose a little bit more of his mind but then he realized it was fear for him.

“Tony, are you o-“ She began.

“Sorry kid, not now,” Tony said, hoping that she’d get that it was only because if he started talking about feelings he might explode. She just nodded, and he figured if anyone understood the need for emotional compartmentalism it would be Michelle. “I’m ah- going to, going to call Happy. Stay right here.”

You can fall apart later. He’s right there. He’s not going anywhere, Tony had to chant in his head in order to build up the strength to pull himself away for a moment, even if it was only to the corner of the lab. He grabbed an old burner phone out of his pocket- the suit was crackling with live electricity and was in multiple pieces, and he wasn’t really sure it was going to manage a call. But he could stand here in the corner, and make the call, and he wouldn’t be overheard but he could keep his eyes on his son, holy fuck, Jamie–

Happy picked up on the second ring.

“Tony, it’s one AM- why are you callin’ me?” Happy, gruff as ever, barked into the phone.

“I’m uh- out-” It was strange, talking to someone outside of this room, and somehow it made it more real and Tony had to take a few gasping breaths before he could continue.

“Out where?” Happy’s annoyance was mostly replaced with concern now– it seemed like Tony was not managing his goal of sounding like everything was okay.

“Uh— across the water?” Tony was having trouble piecing together the night himself. Yes- he’d flown over water to get here, and then Peter had–

“What the hell does that mean? How did you even get there?” Happy sounded a little annoyed at the idea that Tony might have, for whatever reason, chartered someone else for his transportation needs.

“I took a suit.” He said absentmindedly, preferring to focus on the figures on the other side of the room.

“You took a suit? What suit? Pepper’s gonna kill you.” Happy was really working himself into a tizzy.

“Uh,” Tony wracked his brain. It smelled like blood, hadn’t it? “the Siberia one.”

“The what ? You took that bucket of bolts–”

“Hey!” Tony felt the urge to defend himself, even as another piece of metal from whatever remains of his chestplate pinged against the ground.

“Across the fuckin water? Pepper is going to—”

“Mmm, somehow I think she’ll find it’s worth it.” Tony muttered, still watching her cling to Peter with white knuckles.

“Tony man, I thought you were doing better. The kids-” Happy said, the anger rushing out of him and making way for disappointment.

“I’m not drinking.”

Happy just scoffed, and any other day than this one Tony would have been offended.

“Happy, I haven’t relapsed-”

“Just tell me where you are, man. You’re lucky I’m out late tonight.”

“Staten Island.”

“God, it’s that bad? You went to Staten Island?” Happy said Staten Island with the same intonation people would say the moon, or murder dungeon. Even more panicked, his voice reaching a shrillness it hadn’t since the plutonium scare days. “Why the fuck are you in Staten Island!”

“I found Jamie.” Not the smartest thing to say out of nowhere, but Tony’s chest was bursting with it, his entire body singing it, and there was no way he could keep it in.

“Tony-” Happy now just sounded pained, wounded, and Tony found himself missing the panic.

“It’s not like the last time- I actually– It’s real this time.” He clutched the phone a little tighter to his face.

“Tony- fucking god don’t do this to yourself. Jesus,” he pleaded.

“I found him, Happy-”

Silence from the other end. It was alright. Happy didn't believe him, but he wouldn’t believe it either. Plus, Happy was around for a lot of drunken, drugged, delusional ramblings Tony had in those dark years after.

“Okay, okay, I’m coming to pick you up, just– just stay where you are.” Happy made his best attempt at soothing, which made Tony want to throw his phone at the wall.

“Just sent you the address.”

“Good, that’s actually close to where I am.” Happy's fingers angrily typed in GPS information. “I’m just glad you called me and not Pepper, “ he half murmured. “God, I think that would kill her,”

Tony ignored the pang to his gut and said “Oh, Pepper’s here with me.”

“What?--” Happy’s exclamation was cut off as Tony reached his limit on amount of time he could physically spend away from his son right now.

He walked back to the little clustered group, making sure that the HYDRA agents remained unmoving in his periphery. Tony was like a live wire here, completely overwhelmed, and he realized that as soon as the adrenaline left his body he’d fall apart, so he should probably make sure the kids were okay before that.

Peter was mostly out cold, exhausted beyond belief, his breath coming in little puffs against Pepper’s shoulder. What wounds he had were swiftly closing up, but Tony was jumpy with the need for a doctor to look the kid over. His kid. His son, holy shit.

“He’s asleep.” She whispered.

“Pep,” he said, in a shuddering breath.

“I know.” and she did. If anyone could give a name to the swirling maelstrom of whatever was happening right now, it would be her. “I know. Later, Tony,”

They only had to glance at each other to agree that they just needed to get everyone home and safe. They’d waited for seven years for this moment, they could wait just a little while longer, even if Tony felt like he might explode at any second.

The day Jamie was born had been the best day of his life. He now thought, judging by the lump in his throat and his heart soaring in his chest, this day might just beat it. (Could be the after effects of strangulation, but hey, nobody’s perfect.)

“Um,” Ned squeaked, breaking their eye contact and reverie. “Sorry to interrupt, but I’ve got all the info on my thumb drive. Maybe you guys take Peter back to the tower, and MJ and I stay behind to-”

“Absolutely not-”
“Hell no”

Tony and Pepper said at the same time, their vehemence startling both teens.

“I mean, we don’t want to interrupt…” MJ tried, her eyes as wide as saucers, somehow more taken off guard by this than she was at any of the day’s events.

“MJ! You’re too smart for that,” Pepper said, sounding slightly offended. “I am not letting either of you out of my sight and as soon as we get home we’re all going to medical. No arguments.”

“You’re Peter’s family. You’re our family.” Tony made urgent eye contact with them, trying to will them into understanding. Fuck, he doesn’t know how to explain this.

“Oh,” MJ blushed, looking pleased. “But still, what about– I mean, we got the info but someone needs to lock this place down.”

Before Pepper could give MJ the parental lecture about how two teenagers would not be allowed to stay in the nightmare human experimentation lab or Tony could blurt out something else incredibly emotionally revealing, there was a clink in the air vent. A few more metal sounds, and Natasha Romanoff elegantly rolled out of the same grate that the kids evidently went through.

“Ugh, I’m annoyed at how easy she made that look,” Ned muttered under his breath, while MJ, in an uncharacteristically open display, ran towards Natasha and gave her a quick hug. A warm, real smile came over Natasha’s face in that moment, one Tony couldn’t ever really remember seeing on the spy. It’s a good look for her.

“Hey kid.” Natasha took a ruffle MJ’s hair, who then immediately stepped back with a pout that did little to disguise her true affection. She walked closer, wrinkling her nose as she looked over the doctor’s corpse. “Woof. A bit overzealous on the kill there, little general.”

“She didn’t kill him. I did.” Pepper said from where she was sitting on the floor, still clutching Peter. She was utterly emotionless as she said it, staring directly into Natasha’s eyes in a way few ever dared to.

Natasha seemed to study her face a moment before speaking. “This the guy?”

“Was.”

“Hm. “ Natasha smiled. “Good work, Potts. Should’ve known you’d had it in you.”

“Anyway, you all run home.” She continued after a nod from Pepper. “I’ll take care of this one. Steve and–- and the others are on their way to help wrap it up.”

Tony shifted from foot to foot for a moment, wanting nothing more than to go home. But a small part of him was still Iron Man, and probably always would be.


“Tony, go home. We should have had your back before, but we’re watching it now. “ Natasha said, looking him in the eye. Tony felt another thing broken start to heal. “Go home with your family.“

He nodded at her. “Let me know how it goes. Give me- ah, a few days though, glancing back at Pepper.

“Take the time you need.” Her voice was uncharacteristically soft, and her eyes said I’m happy for you . “Look after the brats.”

“Of course, but I’m expecting some visits from Auntie Nat,”

A moment of pleased surprise flashed across her features, then her face resettled into a mask of offense as she flipped him off for the name. He could tell she was still pleased, after her lips quirked up with Ned’s cheer.

Be there in six minutes . The burner phone dinged with Happy’s message.

“Alright, c’mon, time to go. Happy’s out front.” He slid a hand under Peter’s back and one under his knees, and picked him up, Pepper hovering close enough where he could feel her still-elevated body temperature on his skin.

Leaving, even carrying another person with a tired and injured group of people, somehow went faster than coming in, and a black car screeched to a stop by the curb right as they exited the front doors. Happy’s mouth was open in shock the second he caught sight of then. He was undoubtedly bursting with questions but at the look on Pepper’s face, he wisely decided to be quiet.

Tony told Happy to punch it, and then they were there, in the back of the car and no longer in the lab, and HYDRA was dead or kept back by half of the Avengers, and Tony was caught somewhere between euphoria and terror.

“Holy fuck.” Ned said suddenly.

“Language.” Tony said weakly, more a reflex than anything else.

Notes:

someone give happy a pay raise.

this chapter was pretty short, and I do have more written, but I want to build up a momentum to post more frequently again :'

please let me know your thoughts/wants/needs/dreams/loves i'm going to go pass out

Chapter 35: i believe you would call it hope

Notes:

hiii
penultimate chapter! sorry it's been so long.
(unedited, may be edited later)

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Peter woke up.

He was warm, muzzily coming into consciousness in large, unfamiliar feeling bed. He took a moment to marvel at being alive. This was- this was more than he’d ever thought he would get.

He was alive, his family was alive. And- he turned his head. In the corner, Tony was typing on a tablet, and Peter just watched him for awhile, until Tony finally looked up and made eye contact.

“James!” Tony gasped. “Jarvis tell Pepper-”

But he was interrupted by Pepper sliding into the room, her hair down and her eyes expectant.

Peter just stared at them for a moment, opened and closed his mouth once or twice. Oh god, his parents, Tony and Pepper, Mom and Dad standing over him.

“Hey sweetheart,” Pepper said, her voice soft and watery. Tony beside her, opened his mouth to say something, and she shot him that look that said i-thought-we-agreed-i’m-doing-the-talking. “You got given the all-clear by Dr. Cho so we brought you up here to rest. Thought you’d like waking up in a bedroom rather than the med wing.”

They knew him well. Waking up in the medbay- with its florescent lights and stiff sheets— well, he may have thought he was still in the lab.

“Oh- okay.” he rasped a bit. “Ned and MJ? Are they okay?”

“Yeah,” Tony said, looking fond, “they’re good too.”

“Mr. Leeds and Miss Jones are both resting. Right now, I believe they are having a conversation with their decathlon teammates.” Peter almost jumped in surprise as Jarvis’s voice piped up, It was still a little warbled, but it sounded much better than before. He wondered if it had simply needed more reloading time, or if Mr. Stark tweaked the coding or if the processors were— right. Engineering later.

“How- uh, how long have I been out?” There, another question he would like answered that didn’t feel like ripping his kidney out.

“Two days”

“Thirty seven and a half hours”

Pepper and Tony speak at the same time, clamping their mouths shut. Tony looked like he wanted to say something,

“So, uh, kid, how much do you remember?”

“Of the lab, well I remember getting there, MJ and Ned coming through the vent, and then you— oh my god, I choked you” It was starting to all come back now, splotches of memories bleeding through his consciousness. He felt dizzier and dizzier as each new image hit him- the doctor grinning, holding Tony by the neck. Peter started to wheeze, thinking about what he did, what could have happened. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Peter, it’s not your fault. Shh, I’m completely fine.” Tony sat on the bed next to him, hesitated for a fraction of a second, like he wasn’t sure if Peter was really real in front of him, and then rubbed soothing circles into his back to calm him down. Peter wanted to yell at him, tell him that he shouldn’t get close, that Peter could hurt him, but he was weak deep down and he’d been craving this for so long. “Plus, I’m pretty sure that mind stuff is supposed to be unbreakable how did you–”

Peter took a shuddering breath, able to continue because they were both right there, and they were real and he had to tell them, had to figure out whether it was all just a mirage.

“I remembered the beach. By our old house. We had- we had a tire swing. And I remembered that you’re my dad. And later I remembered that Pepper’s my mom and-” Tony was crying, Peter registered dimly, but he was too busy pressing the heels of his hands to see much more. “Are you- are you guys mad at me? For- for me not remembering. Or disappointed in me that that I came back different. I mean, I have freaky spider powers now, and I don’t remember anything really, just a few things, and I have scars and I’m weird and sad and—”

“Kiddo. When you were gone— I was messed up. I got kidnapped, became Iron Man, but nothing compared to how much I was missing you. You were- I don’t know if I can explain how much I missed you.”

“I’m sorry I made you sad,” Peter said, upset by the rawness of his tone.

“This is one of the happiest days of my life,” Tony said with a laugh, cupping Peter’s face between his hands. “I- god, kid. I’m so happy. I’m so happy you’re here. This is the greatest miracle I’ve ever seen, and I’ve met gods. We got you back. You’re here.”

“You’re a miracle many times over.” Pepper said softly, sitting down on Peter’s other side.

“Did it say?” Peter finally got the courage to say, after they’d been sitting in companionable silence for a few minutes. “Did uh- did the files that MJ found say what they did to me?”

Tony pulled back a little, and Peter almost whined at the loss of his warmth. “Uh- yeah. Your mom and I- we couldn’t look at them first hand. And we didn’t want Ned or MJ looking at it either. After Cap secured the facility, Natasha looked through them for us. She uh, told us some of the pertinent details.” At the hissed mention of details, Pepper squeezed Peter’s hand tighter. Tony’s face was creased in worry. “Do you- do you remember it?”

“Not everything.” Peter swallowed, unable to look them in the eye for this. It was true, he just had flashes- terrifying flashes, but flashes nonetheless. “I remember being scared. Really, really scared. I remember that I’d never felt so cold. That I just wanted to go home and- and- we were getting ready for my birthday party?” Peter risked looking up for a second. Tony nodded, his face tight with pain. The memories- of A-6, the cell, the lab, all of it, was swimming in his vision, and he didn’t know how to quantify the kind of horror it was. “And they- they took everything from me. I mean, there’s still so many holes and- I can’t . They made me a freak.”

“Breathe, kiddo.” And Peter wasn’t even aware he wasn’t breathing until Tony said it.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I can’t- I can’t remember most of Malibu either and I’m- I can’t remember still,” He panted, urgently scanning their faces for anger, for disappointment. But they just looked at him, like, like parents do.

“We’re going to figure this out. It’s okay, it’s okay.” Pepper said softly. “We’ll just make new memories, how about that?”

“Okay.” He whispered, unable to disagree with her. “Um, did you make me your intern because I reminded you of him— me- crap.”

“I can’t lie and say you didn’t remind me, but everything reminds me of you,” Tony laughed, somewhere in between hysterical and hollow “I saw you everywhere, in the simplest things. Toy stores, beaches, the color red. But no, I picked you as my intern because I could see the potential you had.

“But still, I feel bad. I’m sorry, I feel so stupid. Like I should've known you at first sight but - We, we buried you, kid.”

“It’s- It’s not your fault dad,“ his throat felt extra raw around that word, extra sore with disuse. “I just. I don’t know if I’m that same kid anymore.”

“We were getting ready to adopt you,” Pepper began, and that was news to Peter, “because we loved you. I love you as Jamie, I love you as Peter, I love you as whoever you want to be now. You’re a miracle that keeps being given to me.”

Peter made an embarrassing little noise, unable to speak, and flung himself into her arms, Tony still rubbing circles into his back. An equally embarrassing amount of time of him just crying into Pepper’s shoulder passed before he was able to sit up again.

“So uh? Where do we go from here? What’s - what’s next?”

Tony and Pepper made amused eye contact and smiled at him. “Well, that depends on what you want, baby.”

“Obviously, therapy, that’s a must, for everyone in this family. I have a couple picked out I want you, Ned and MJ to look at.” Pepper began to rattle off, and Peter couldn’t help but smile at his mother’s tendency to plan.

“Uh, Steve gave me a call.” Tony added “There are some specialists in Wakanda that helped… Bucky. They’re an option.”

Something must have happened while Peter was asleep, because all that flashed on Pepper’s face at the mention of Barnes was contemplation, instead of murderous rage.

“And” Tony continued, suddenly using a tone Peter could only describe as ‘stern dad’ “We’re going to talk soon about the tendency to throw away your life like that. That is never going to happen again.”

Peter could only nod in agreement, a lump in his throat.

“I want to talk more but your friends will want to see you too.” Pepper smiled.

“Oh yeah, we better tell them you’re awake, before Jones does something violent, or worse, Ned pouts at me.” Tony grimaced. “Jarvis?”

“Unnecessary sir, as they have been waiting outside for the duration.”

“Yeah, not surprised. Are they listening?”

“I believe Miss. Jones wanted to, but young Mr. Leeds argued with her. My language centers have not yet been rebooted, so all I caught were the curse words.”

Pepper giggled, and Tony was unable to suppress a smile as well. Tony waved at the ceiling for Jarvis to unlock the door. It slid open, and two blobs crashed into Peter with reckless abandon. He just grinned and held them closer.

“We’re going to talk about your stupid martyr bullshit, Peter James Parker Stark, but right now i just want to hug you, you- you, “ MJ’s lip was quivering and peter hugged her tighter than he ever had before, ignoring her cloud of hair in his vision.He could see Ned waffling between concern, and desire to nerd out.

“I backtracked the HYDRA files. Cleared em out, deleted our stuff, sent the rest to SHEILD. The cells were pretty decentralized so outside of that doctor, no one else knew we were alive. We’re uh- we’re free. Safe.“ Bless Ned, who knew exactly what Peter needed to hear. He felt the last bit of tension leave his body as he gave Ned a fist bump and wrestled him into another hug.

“We really are safe, huh.” Peter said, marveling at it.

“They can’t get us anymore. And even if anyone could, I’m pretty sure your dad could beat him up oh my god Peter your dad is Iron MAN!” Ned squeaked.

“Ned, we’ve been living with Iron Man for months. You guys had a ‘coding sesh’ without the rest of us for like three hours last week.” MJ deadpanned.

“Um but still?? Like, literally related.”

“They’re going to adopt us. All of us,” Peter finally said, feeling like his heart was going to burst with joy watching his friends bicker. MJ just offered him a small smile in response- evidently they’d already been told. “And we’re safe. We’re safe. They can’t hurt us ever again.”

“Yeah,” MJ said, smiling wider. “We’re going to be okay.”

***

“JARVIS, how did you know- I mean- I didn’t even ask you to check,” Tony found himself asking, outside in the hall, hearing the faint excited shrieks from the kids’ room.

“Sir, I have finished referencing Friday’s data. Because you installed certain blockades on her programming in the wake of the ultron incident, she had no ability to independently elect to run or create systems.

“She had no way, or drive to elect to run any sort of testing.

“You tinkered with my programming a lot after Jamie went missing. I myself had a calculation of the probability of his continued existence. I should have ended that line of thinking when presented with the evidence, but I did it all the same.”

“Why- what made you–” Tony had a goddamn lump in his throat again, but he didn’t mind crying so much anymore.

“I believe you would call it hope, Sir.”

***

“Rhodey. I’m going to send you some files. I need you- I. Just, read them.”

“Okay- alright, Tones. I’ll look. You okay man, you sound-”

“I’m okay. I’m okay. Uh, heartbroken and scared and a million other things, but so damned happy more than anything. Just read the files.”

Silence.

“Tony. Holy shit. Tones, is this-”

“I found him. I found James.”

“Oh my god.”

***

The Stark-Leeds-Jones family were having late breakfast. Late in that it was seven PM, but Peter had awoken from his coma with a desire for pancakes, so breakfast for dinner it was.

Ned was portaling the sugar directly into the cabinets with a wave of his hand when Peter suddenly remembered the way his friends had taken out the HYDRA agents.

“Wait, wait- Ned, you’ve gotten so good at that!”

“Lessons with Dr. Strange.” Ned blushed. “Wong keeps getting annoyed at how fast I’m learning stuff.”

“Oh, and are we not going to talk about the fact that MJ is apparently telekinetic now?” They both turned to MJ, who shrugged and went back to reading.

“Guess it was a part of my natural ability or whatever. It’s been building up for a while, and they can’t control me anymore. Think I’m just going to use it to turn pages when I’m lazy though.”

Ned squawked in horror. “MJ! You have cool psychic powers and you’re going to use them for reading?”

“Yeah?”

“MJ, I’m on Ned’s side here. C’mon, at least practice them a little.” Peter gave her his best puppy eyes, and before long she shut her book with a sigh, the boys whooping in victory.

MJ glared at a croissant and all of them watched it move in the air like it had witnessed her gaze and spontaneously gained the power to levitate out of fear. Understandable.

She then sent it spiraling straight into the center of Peter’s forehead, and when Ned laughed, she hit him with a muffin.

“Oh it’s on now,” Ned grinned, putting down his spatula and quickly engaging in a game of telekinetic tacky sack with half the items in the kitchen, portaling items just above MJ’s head.

And Peter just laughed, and took in his friends antics, and his parents, who were standing in the doorway, watching with a grin like he was.

And he realized he got to have this. He got to keep this.

“Okay kids, put the beignets down.” Pepper said, as soon as she’d stopped laughing. She turned to Peter with a soft smile, “Question for you, sweetheart. Do you want to go by Jamie, or Peter, or...?”

The question surprised him, even though it really shouldn’t have. In the corner of his eye, MJ froze, and turned her head away. The answer came to him quickly, looking at his oldest friend.

“Peter,” He said. He was worried he would disappoint his parents, but this was the truth. “Because- because HYDRA did happen. I’m not- I’m not that kid anymore. Not just him. And going by Jamie would be like saying it didn’t happen. I’m Peter now. And uh, MJ gave me the name Peter. I like it.”

“I like it too, Peter,” Pepper just smiled at him. “Selfishly I’m glad for the distinction too. Those, uh, years of morning, everything me son- you- went through, they did still happen.”

Tony kissed his wife’s cheek, and she continued. “And we’d love you by any name.”

Notes:

woof.
so there's one chapter left. god damn. one and a half years.

pls let me know what you think! it helps so so much. comment also what you would like to see. I already have most of the last chapter outlined with what is happening/has happened, and i can't promise to include everything, but if there's anything specific you'd like addressed as we wrap up, let me know :).

Chapter 36: goodbye

Notes:

the final chapter.
thanks for coming along with me.

CW: mentions of everything that happened in the lab.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“So, how has it been since last we spoke?” Dr Ngozi asked. His therapist, a Wakandan woman with a shaved head and elegant glasses, was sitting in an armchair like he was- though she was only here via hologram. They had had a consultation appointment just after Staten Island, but Peter had been busy- and dragging his feet- and it was only now, months later that he’d finally relented and gone back.

“It’s been good. Really good.” The words, while hesitant at first, are completely true. “Life just seems to keep getting better and better. I’m not really getting headaches anymore, and Dr. Strange says the scarring on my brain looks way better. Dad makes me do my physical therapy with him, so that helps. I’m hanging out with MJ and Ned all the time too.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Dr. Ngozi smiled, and Peter couldn’t help but return it. Therapy was hard for him, but she was a kind, incredibly intelligent woman who’d learned that the best way to get him to talk was giving him the space to do so. “And how are your friends?”

Peter lit up further at the mention of his family. “Um well, Ned’s doing great! He’s still training to be the coolest sorcerer the world has ever seen! His new thing seems to be giving motivational pep talks to heroes with prosthetic or disabled limbs. He already got to Mr. Barnes when we designed him a new robot arm. I’m pretty sure I saw Dr. Strange cry once after Ned gave him this speech that was like ‘you are more than what your hands are able to do’ or something like that. Which, I totally get, Ned is great at speeches.

“MJ is really good too. She’s kinda slowed down on the whole training thing, she and Ms. Natasha talk about Russian literature more than they train, but I guess she still keeps her skills sharp.

“Are you training? I see news about Spiderman.”

“Yeah! Not as much. Spidermanning has been great, but it’s mostly been getting cats out of trees. My parents are happy about it, but it’s- boring.” He frowned in annoyance. “Not as many villains to catch, cause MJ threatened Liz’s dad into giving up crime in exchange for turning in his whole evil ring. And the Avengers are all back at the compound upstate now so they can get here suuuuper quick.”

“How is it, having the Avengers so close?” Dr. Ngozi raised an eyebrow with a knowing look.

“Well, we have dinner there sometimes. At the compound, with Mr. Captain America, and Mr. Bucky, and all the others. Sometimes Uncle Rhodey comes by too!” He brightened at the mention of his favorite uncle (he’d never say that out loud though, because he was pretty sure Happy would get mad) “It’s uh, super awkward, and I was mad at first because Captain America beat up my dad but he apologized to us and Dad said he wanted to try again. So we have dinner and Dad trains with them sometimes. It gets better day by day. Most things do.”

“Right.” Dr Ngozi said, evidently sensing more but deciding to let it lie for now. “How’s high school?”

“Oh! It’s really great. Normal high school stuff. We won nationals this year. My uh, parents keep showing up in increasingly elaborate disguises and only Flash noticed, which was hilarious. We went to Denny’s again, and we all try to hang out outside of school as much as possible. Umm, Flash got a bunch of Youtube followers, he’s up to 83 now. Don’t tell him, but Ned and I made some bot accounts to uh, pad the numbers a bit. I finally reached an armistice with Abe’s raccoon, Cindy blew up our chem lab right after it was finished being reconstructed and I think that’s what sent Mr. Harrington into nervous breakdown number two. I think Ned and Betty are dating? There’s a lot of-“ he narrowed his eyes in distrust “giggling.”

She smiled in acknowledgment, and then looked more serious. Uh oh. “Peter, you’ve shared a lot with me about your friends, but very little about yourself today.”

“Um,” He said, wide-eyed.

“I would like to know how you have been feeling.”

“Well, having parents. That’s been the big thing. And it’s amazing. I can hardly believe it most days. I don’t know if they can either. Mom and dad- they, they look at me like- I didn’t even know how to categorize it at first, but they look at me like something precious, like they can’t believe I’m here. We do a lot. We all have dinner together every night. And celebrations, and my Dad goes crazy at holidays. We try to- to make up for lost time. But-”

“But?”

“It doesn’t feel like enough. I’m grateful, don’t get me wrong, I’m so so happy, happier than I’ve ever been, but I’m still angry. Angry that I didn’t get to have this for the rest of the time. It feel like I’ve missed out on so much. I didn’t get a childhood.

“It’s okay to feel angry Peter.”

“But I’m being given so much. I’m their kid, I have them now, I shouldn’t want anything more.”

“Is it about not being publicly known as their child?”

“No, no it’s not that. I- it’s been so nice, these last few months. Not having to look over my shoulder, not having to hide from camera or strangers because HYDRA is out of commission now. I’m just not ready to be publicly known as a Stark yet” -- and boy, a part of Peter still hasn’t wrapped his head around that one and everything it meant “but maybe one day. My mom and dad say they want to do whatever I’m comfortable with, but I know deep down they want to claim me, I guess. For me, I mean, they’ve officially adopted the three of us. We know who we are to each other, that’s enough for now.”

“But you’re angry.”

“I just-” Peter bit his lip, feeling tears start to pool in his eyes. See, this is why he hated talking about this. He cleared his throat. “I know that it’s over. Ms. Natasha assured me, MJ assured me, I know that HYDRA is gone. But- I don’t know- it feels like. It feels like a part of myself is still in there. I’m still- sad. I’m still haunted, I guess you could say. MJ and Ned, they’re doing better, I can see it, but I’m- I can’t move on. I wonder sometimes if I’m just too messed up. If I’m never going to be able to get out of that place.”

“Part of that, Peter,” Dr. Ngozi said, after a moment of silence, gentle. He imagined she must be leaning forward in her chair, but he’d had to stare at the pattern of the carpet blurring before him to be able to get that out. “Is that they’ve talked to me, they’ve started that journey.”

He said nothing, still staring at the carpet. The words just wouldn’t come out of his mouth. Why did he have to? Why couldn’t he just forget it, push it deep, deep down until he didn’t have to look at it anymore.

“You know, in MJ’s session, and I asked her permission to share this, she brought up something about a Wescott—”

Peter went still, stiff, every part of his body frozen with tension. “I’m not talking about that. I don’t want to- I’m not talking about that. I won’t.”

He made frantic eye contact with her and saw no hate, no pity in her eyes. Just an open compassion.

“You’ll have to at some point, Peter. But we can wait until you’re ready to.” She said, settling back into her seat.

“I spent so much time, not knowing who I was or what I wanted or- I was there for so long, and I don’t want to remember the things I made myself forget. I’m scared.” He forced out the words in a tumble, shame curdling in his gut. What kind of hero was he, to be acting like this?

“But those things that happened, still happened, didn’t they. They’re still there.” She said. He nodded, looking down at his lap. “I think, Peter, that you haven’t forgiven yourself. I think you haven’t let yourself acknowledge what happened. Have you tried saying goodbye to the lab, to that part of yourself?”

“No,” He said. “Not yet.”

***

Peter, of course, took that very literally.

“Dad, there’s something I need help with.” He said, wringing a wrist with anxiety, but feeling resolute as he stared at Tony’s surprised face.

“Alright.” He said slowly. “Anything, kid.”

“There’s somewhere I need you to take us.”

***

“I would like to again say that I hate this idea.” Tony muttered under his breath.

“Your concern is noted, and disregarded.” MJ said, already looking at the ineffectual padlock on the side door of the lab. Peter had worried about it, about how she would react to his request, but she’d just squeezed his shoulder and softly agreed. She narrowed her eyes at the lock, and Peter could hear the internal mechanisms clicking as she used her telekinesis to jimmy it open.

Tony was staring into the empty hallway beyond with revulsion, keeping a very firm hand on Peter’s shoulder. “So uh, where do we go?” He began, as the three of them start making their way through the rubble.

“Don’t know. We were never out here.”

“Oh.” His father’s voice was quiet, pained. Peter allowed himself one single deep breath before moving onward. He checked the ceiling first. Most of the time they moved him with some sort of bag over his head, but there were a few times he left the laboratory rooms on a stretcher, times he was so in and out of consciousness that they didn’t bother with any sort of blindfold. Those times he would look at the ceiling tiles, could them until he was thrown into the merciful blackness of the cell. Merciful. He couldn’t believe he ever thought anything about this place was merciful.

They walked through the lab in silence. It was odd. The cleanup crew removed all of the bodies, but nothing else. It felt like a dollhouse version of his childhood, if Peter could even call it that.

“Um. I think we’re getting close.” Ned said softly.

“Yeah.” Peter agreed. “It’s just down there.”

Even with the soot and twisted metal and melted plastic covering everything, he’d know that door anywhere.

They’d reached it.

There was a part of him— Peter didn’t want Tony to see it. “Dad. Can you wait out here?”

He didn’t explain any more, he wasn’t sure if he could. Luckily, Tony seemed to understand, giving him a quick but crushing hug and attempting to hide the shakiness of his voice. “Sure kid. But if I don’t hear from you three in ten, I’m coming in.”

The door was stuck, but Peter yanked it open with his new-found strength. Almost annoying, how easy it was, to beat an obstacle that had seemed so insurmountable at one point. MJ, Ned and Peter entered the cell.

It was eerie, how little it had changed. All of their wall drawings, the flower fields, the list of names, doodles Peter had forgotten, were still there, if a little faded. MJ was already tracing the line of a petal with one shaking fingertip. The reinforced door must have acted like a hermetic seal to protect the cell from the fire.

The skylight was half open, bright light spilling into the room in a beam that illuminated all the previously-untouched dust moving through the air. Peter took a fumbling step forward. He couldn’t bring himself to get closer to the pile of blankets in the corner. Everything still smelled like old blood. He’d never noticed it before- how much it smelled like blood in here.

“It’s so- small.” Peter could remember when he thought this place was large. When he’d first been moved in here, with A6, when before he’d been in a cell only big enough for a small mattress. But now it was tiny, suffocating, incomprehensibly small.

“We got bigger.” MJ said tonelessly.

“No.” Ned said, sounding more like the young man he was becoming every day. “The world got bigger. This place was- was always too small.”

Silence stretched on between the three of them, as they sat and memories flickered through the air like dust.

Peter opened his mouth. He was going to do what he always did, make light, or find the good, fixate on one of MJ’s drawings. But he couldn’t anymore- he needed. He needed to talk. “It wasn’t right. It wasn’t right what they did to us.”

“No,” MJ said, her eyes full of tears. “It wasn’t.”

In her hands were the colored pencils, clenched tightly to the point of breaking. Peter stared at them.

“Wescott. The guard. When he took me out of here, he hurt me.” Peter managed to get out. “He-”

The smell of old blood and the nausea, the memories, send him lurching over to the corner. He threw up, shivering.

“I know, Peter.”

“I just felt so powerless. There was nothing I could do, I couldn’t escape I couldn’t. I was so weak. And we got out, and I just wanted to forget the feeling of his hands,” Peter was crying now, anchored to the present only by the feeling of Ned’s hands on his back. “But I couldn’t.”

“You aren’t that kid anymore, Peter. We don’t live here anymore.” Ned said slowly, carefully. “It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t. It’s okay, Peter.”

“I’m so sorry.” MJ now, holding his hand as he shut his eyes tight. “I’m so sorry that I couldn’t protect you.”

“It wasn’t your fault!” Peter laughed, hysterically. “It wasn’t. It- it was his. His and HYDRA. But-”

He looked around the room, at a place he hadn’t been in in over a year, at the hallway outside that had been abandoned, at his friends who were older and stronger and happier.

“They’re gone now. We made it out.” He said softly, like it was a discovery he was finally making. “We made it out.”

“It’s okay to take time to heal.” MJ looked him right in the eye. “But you will heal. We got out of this place. We have a whole life, a whole family now. You’re going to be okay one day.”

“And we’ll be with you even if you aren’t okay.”

Peter hugged them, his two greatest friends in the whole world.

“I don’t know what I was expecting, coming back here. Something… more, I suppose.” He began. “I felt like I would find a secret, a revelation. But it’s just. A small room. A small, sad room that we’re leaving behind.”

He looked at the skylight- and for once, didn’t feel like it was a ray of hope to cling to. No, he had so much more than that now.

“Let’s go, you guys. I’m ready to leave.” He said, and they stood with him, each taking one of his hands. He was ready to leave. This place- he was so much more than what had happened here, and talking- talking had helped. Getting closure, saying goodbye would even more.

Goodbye skylight, goodbye drawings, goodbye cell.

And then x-23, 24, 25 MJ, Peter, and Ned, left the room, hand in hand.

They never looked back.

Notes:

bro. it's JOEVERRR!
actually can't believe that almost a year and a half later, here we are, and it's complete. I wanted to abandon this fic around about month four, but I'm glad that I kept pushing and finished this.

So here is the ending. I know it's a lot of angst for a triumphant last chapter, but healing is not always linear. And they needed to acknowledge and say goodbye to this past.

Peter is going to have many, many sessions with his therapist (as for what happened with skip wescott, i leave that up to your judgement. i have a personal answer, but there is no canonical answer for that). And he's going to get better and heal, just as he has throughout this fic.

It is *incredibly* likely that the majority of chapters in this fic will be edited at some point, have more added to them (as there's a lot of content I just didn't get to add). While there may be some outtake decathlon kid stuff, there probably will not be a sequel as this was sooo rough for me to finish.

This is my first completed multi-chapter fic ever. Thank you all for all of your support throughout. Could not have done it without you.

Please let me know what you thought in the comments :) endings are very hard, and I hope i didn't disappoint.

23/24/25 - blueteeth - Multifandom [Archive of Our Own] (2025)
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